Chapter 22
Richard
Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam rated himself as excellent in the pursuit of two of his three current goals.
Because the colonel had been so career oriented for a decade, some people, including Richard’s own parents, would have been surprised to know exactly what those goals were. But such is life: this particular phase of his life seemed to be all about personal relationships.
His first goal was to stop intruding on Darcy and Elizabeth’s relationship.
He was doing an admirable job of avoiding the twosome, and when he did see them, his pretence of good humour seemed to be credible.
This goal was about to get much easier; Darcy had sent him a brief message explaining that he, Georgiana, and Elizabeth would be leaving for Hertfordshire in two days, and they would be staying for the foreseeable future.
His second goal was to woo someone he could afford to marry.
He still called on Miss Cartwright frequently, and he liked her very well indeed.
She seemed to be at least as positive towards him.
They had not known each other long enough for him to propose, but he believed that they both considered marriage a likely outcome within the calendar year.
He looked forward to eventually discovering Miss Cartwright’s interest in the activities of the marital bed, but if he married her, he would for the first time in his life have enough money to keep a mistress, so that aspect of their relationship was not crucial.
However, there was also his third goal. To fall out of love with Elizabeth. To stop longing for her. To stop thinking about her. To stop dreaming about her.
On this last goal, he was failing miserably.
He no longer went to gaming hells, and he had cut his visits to Madame Bertin’s from nightly to just once per week.
He now routinely avoided brunette courtesans, and he never again called any courtesan Elizabeth.
He had done everything he could do to stop thinking about Elizabeth Bennet, but when in the throes of passion, he kept slipping into thoughts of her.
It was the same thing at night: as he tried to find sleep he tortured himself with thoughts of Elizabeth, and as he attempted to control his dreams, he woke up drenched with the memory of shockingly steamy dreams.
Worse, the fact that he had not managed to extricate himself from his love for Elizabeth made the success he claimed for his first two goals decidedly questionable.
Could he really be merry around Elizabeth when a single glance at her made his knees melt and a certain body part become painfully swollen and rigid?
Could he truly court another lady when Elizabeth filled his mind even as he sat with his own lady, spoke with her, danced with her?
Richard had never been one to read poetry, but he had rather thought that love was supposed to be a pleasing feeling that helped one to see more beauty in the world. He had never thought that it was something that could blast apart the structure of one’s life, only to make one miserable.
But… surely this third goal was achievable. Eventually, he would get over Elizabeth. A year or two from now he would be back to his pre-Elizabeth state. He hoped. Even if it took a decade or two… he was determined that he would prevail.
THE END