Chapter 18 #2
William leant forward so he could look Mrs Hurst straight into her eyes.
“Mrs Hurst, I too, had a childhood friend who did bad things, and I too scrambled to fix those things but ultimately did not move to stop him. I did not even tell my father, or his father, what he had done. I absolutely understand how a good person can get very caught up with attempts to fix past bad actions, when they probably should have made efforts to prevent future bad actions. If you are to blame for your sister’s thievery, then I must be blamed by those who lost money to my enemy when he cheated at cards, and I must be blamed by fathers whose daughters were seduced by my enemy.
And on and on, with me being to blame for my enemy’s many and varied bad deeds.
But…I was a child, and then a youth, and I was doing my best. Ultimately, I do not think that children should carry the responsibility for other children’s misdeeds. ”
Mrs Hurst burst into tears, and everyone other than Mr Hurst exited the carriage to allow her time to recover. Jane and Elizabeth both squeezed her hand as they left, murmuring supportive sentiments along with their goodbyes.
Jane farewelled the colonel, Mr Bingley, and William, looking expectantly at Elizabeth. “I just have to speak with William privately for a moment, Jane. I will follow you inside directly.”
William walked with her far enough to be out of earshot, and she asked, “What did my father ask you, or say to you, when he called you in like that?”
“As I speculated, Mr Jones came to your father the night before last with the news that he believed you had been deliberately slipped a sleeping draught. Your father asked me about it in quite an accusatory tone.”
Elizabeth shook her head in exasperation. “So Mr Jones worried that someone might take advantage of my drugged sleep, and warned my father in time for him to intercede, but Papa decided to ask about it only when it would be too late?”
“You have the right of it.” William replied.
“He just wished for another reason to criticise you?”
“I imagine so. I simply apprised him of the entire truth, but I also advised him that Bingley will suffer greatly if a rumour starts that his sister is mad. I believe we can count on your father to not spread the story around.”
“We can,” Elizabeth assured him. Still, William seemed unhappy, so Elizabeth decided to cheer him up.
Forgetting for the moment that Mr Bingley and the colonel were very nearby, she held his face in her hands and kissed him ardently.
After half a minute, she felt him relax, and she broke the kiss, murmured, “I love you,” and turned back towards the house.
She was a bit horrified to see both men staring at them, Mr Bingley with an enormous smile and the colonel with a deeply etched scowl.
She blushed, and as she flung a glance back towards William, she saw that he, too, was blushing—but he was grinning almost as widely as Mr Bingley.
Hosting Georgiana was very easy. Her manners were perfect, and the thank-yous she bestowed on the Bennets with more frequency than necessary were completely sincere. Because Jane was shy, Georgiana’s reticence was understood and accepted.
Elizabeth was quite surprised to see how much beneficial influence Georgiana had on Kitty and Lydia, and even more surprised to see theirs on her.
Once Mrs Green arrived with the trunks, Lydia asked to see Georgiana’s clothing.
She was inspired by what she saw, and she began to sketch ideas of how to update her own clothing, and Kitty joined Lydia in working hard on sewing alterations of and decorations for their gowns.
Every time she walked by her younger sisters’ room, she was amazed to hear Georgiana giving her opinions or giggling just as loudly as any Bennet could.
Mrs Green seemed pleased even when Georgiana was a smidge less ladylike than usual.
After dinner, Georgiana played duets with Mary.
She liked “performing” at Longbourn, because the pianoforte was in another, smaller room, so there was no obvious audience; however, every single member of the family gave Georgiana a compliment, making it clear that they had indeed heard and enjoyed her playing.
Elizabeth was most surprised and pleased that her father took a moment to praise the young girl.
After they readied themselves for bed, Georgiana asked if she could chat with both Elizabeth and Jane for a while. “I need to talk a bit about…Netherfield,” she whispered.
“We have to be really, really quiet,” Elizabeth warned.
Jane nodded solemnly. Georgiana said, “I warrant that I find it easier to be quiet than you, Elizabeth.” The three girls smiled at one another—smiling is quieter than laughter—but their smiles dropped when Georgiana whispered, “I feel quite guilty about Miss Bingley. I have disliked her ever since I met her, and now I find out that she did not have a choice about what to think and say and do. Not like any of us have choices. That’s what my brother says—when you are mad, you do not fully understand reality, and therefore you cannot make decisions based on reality. ”
“You should not feel even a little bit guilty,” Jane whispered back. “None of us knew she was mad, and none of us could have ever known such a thing.”
Elizabeth gave Georgiana a quick hug and explained in a low voice, “I agree with Jane.
Surely your brother would agree with us, too, and as he is older and wiser than any of us, I cannot state firmly enough that we are blameless for holding Miss Bingley responsible for her behaviour, as we would any other competent adult, without realising that she was not, in fact, competent.
The three gladly began to discuss happier topics, ending with a discussion on how delightful the Hursts were, and how Louisa Bingley, who had gone along with everything suggested by her younger sister, had been far less pleasant than Louisa Hurst now was.
“I do not know if it is the power of love, or the power of respect and affection, or what else it could be,” Elizabeth offered, “but I do think that Mrs Hurst turning away from her sister and towards her husband made an enormous difference in her beliefs and actions.”
Georgiana asked another whispered question: “How do you know if you are falling in love with someone?” Facing Elizabeth, she went on, “I can see that you love my brother, and that he loves you….but was it obvious to you right away? What were the first signs?”
“That is an apt question, and although I will try to be truthful, I am not positive I can accurately remember…
even though it was only a few months ago.
I knew immediately that Fitzwilliam Darcy was the most attractive man I had ever seen, and about five minutes into our acquaintance, I already felt as if he was the most interesting, knowledgeable, and intelligent man with whom I had ever spoken.
“We met in a family grouping—your family, Georgiana—and my aunt knew the reputation of Pemberley and the Darcys, so there was a vast amount of confirmation of who he was, his history and circumstances and values. Of course I was prepared to believe what he said, but I did not have to rely on his own reports. I quite quickly met his dear friends and even a few men he disliked, and who disliked him, and everything people said agreed with how he presented himself. It was all one consistent picture.”
“So…did you fall in love at first sight?”
“I definitely was attracted at first sight, was interested at first conversation, and quickly began to fall in love as we discussed important issues and as evidence that his words were true began to come my way.”
Georgiana contemplated that and nodded. “So, even though it was quite a speedy beginning for the two of you, you would not characterise it as love at first sight.”
“I would not.”
“Do you mind explaining from your perspective, Miss Bennet?” Georgiana asked.
“I do not know how you feel about Mr Bingley, or any other man, but I wonder if you think that love at first sight is just a lie someone might tell herself—it would actually be just attraction at first sight, even if the relationship ends up being deep and long lasting?”
“Call me Jane,” Jane reminded the younger girl, blushing vividly. “And I would agree that ‘first sight’ is too quick for love. But I am no expert.”
Georgiana looked steadily into Jane’s eyes, and then she dropped her own eyes. Perhaps she, like Elizabeth, could not discern from Jane’s expression, demeanour, or words how she felt about Mr Bingley.
Jane was an enigma. The question was, did enigmas tend to end up marrying happily?
“I have another question, if you do not mind answering it.” Georgiana was barely even whispering, at that point, and Elizabeth had to move her ear nearer to the girl’s mouth to hear the breathy words, “What should I, at my current age, know of the marriage bed?”
Jane was still red from the previous question, but at this request for information, she jumped up, said, “Good night,” and left the room, closing the door behind her.
Georgiana’s eyes filled with tears, and she seemed to fold in on herself. “I am sorry, Elizabeth. I am so, so sorry. I should never have….”
Elizabeth grasped both of her hands and spoke up a tiny bit.
“Georgiana!” Once she caught the girl’s attention and hushed her apologies, Elizabeth went back to a whisper.
“Your question was very appropriate. You did nothing wrong, and you should not apologise. Obviously, if your mother was alive, I would instantly defer to her, at any age; however, given the circumstances, I can see why you might want to ask a woman who was not your Aunt Helen. As wonderful as the countess is, I would not wish to ask such a question of her. I am very pleased that you feel close enough to me to take a chance and ask.”
Georgiana smiled a tentative and altogether wan smile, but she let out a sob as she did so. “I upset your sister.”
Elizabeth shook her head, puzzled at Jane’s behaviour. She explained, “Jane has been struggling with her shyness, I believe, and I am not certain how she and Mr Bingley feel about one another, so that might be a further struggle. But I feel confident in my answer to your question:
“What you should know about the marriage bed, Georgiana, is that quite a few years from now, perhaps with your brother’s helpful advice, you will choose to marry a man you can respect, someone you can trust to treat you beautifully, as you deserve to be treated—someone who will be supportive of your musical talent, responsible and hard working on behalf of any children you may be blessed with, and gentle with you in the marriage bed.
And there, in bed, he may be able to lead you to activities that are not only loving, but that bring you closer together, that bring to both of you exquisite joy.
However, if your marriage bed is not all you wish it to be, I am always open for you to discuss your concerns and answer your questions.
Right now, neither you nor I know enough to even formulate a possible question, let alone answer it; however, years from now, if you have need, I will always strive to help you. ”
“Thank you. I—I feel better.”
Georgiana’s cheeks were still red with embarrassment and wet with tears, but her smile was wide and genuine, and Elizabeth could see that the girl felt appreciative of Elizabeth’s honesty.
They talked a bit longer, and then Elizabeth blew out the last candle.
Still, even in the dark, they whispered to one another.
When Elizabeth’s eyes were becoming very heavy, and she was certain she was moments away from sleep, Georgiana whispered, “I never realised until the last few days that Richard likes you, too. I am so, so glad that you chose my brother over him, though.”
Elizabeth sat up, suddenly wide awake again. “What? Why do you think that Richard likes me?” she whispered.
Georgiana murmured, “Oh…. Is it supposed to be a secret that he likes you?”
Elizabeth sighed and laid back down again. “I know that he used to like me as more than a friend, but I feel quite surprised that you could sense such. He has tried so hard to move away from those feelings, and to hide anything he still feels.”
“There would be no reason for him to avoid you, if he did not like you. And, when he thinks nobody is looking, he sometimes looks at you in such a way…well….”
Elizabeth said softly, “Please do not discuss it with anyone else. I hope that people who do not know your cousin as well as you do will not notice, and I hope to avoid rumours that will hurt all of us—your brother most of all. There has never been anything between the colonel and I, other than friendship, and there never will be, except of course that we will become cousins as well as friends, once I marry your brother. Richard will continue to allow his feelings to dissipate—and they will, of that I am certain—but in the meantime, if you ever feel like discussing this topic, please speak with me and not William or Richard. I believe it will hurt the two of them most of all.”
Georgiana gave Elizabeth a quick hug and whispered, “I am sorry I said anything about it to you, but I will be more careful in the future, and I will not say anything to my brother or cousin, I promise.”
“We should go to sleep now,” Elizabeth murmured. They wished each other a good night, but it was many minutes before Elizabeth could slip away into sleep.