CHAPTER 5 #2
“I said we’re good.”
“We’re best friends again?” he asked meekly.
“Don’t press your luck. Cameron is my best friend now. But yeah… We’re friends again.”
“Really close friends?”
“We will be if you can find my fucking weed!” Diego sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t like running out. Which is especially frustrating when, technically, I’ve got about ten ounces to my name. I just don’t know where you put ‘em.”
“Wanna try a different mile marker?”
“Sure. There’s only half a dozen or so between here and town. We’ll make a goddamn day of it.”
They headed back toward the road in silence.
“Sorry,” Omar mumbled.
“I’ll live.”
“I mean all of it. Not being there for you when your dad died. I have a better idea now of how that must’ve felt.”
Diego’s brow furrowed, but he nodded. “I needed you. Anthony is too neurotic. He kept trying to talk to me about it, but you… We always had fun together. You made it that way. If anyone could’ve gotten me out of my funk—”
“I kept trying,” Omar said, aching for him all over again.
“I know. You would’ve got through to me eventually. The summer spent apart didn’t do me any favors. All I did was sit there and stew on everything.”
Omar had experienced moments like that recently, the depths of despair becoming so unbearable that he had no choice but to distract himself. Filming stuff helped, but not as much as being around the people he loved.
“I’m here for you from now on,” he said. “For what that’s worth.”
Diego nodded. “Thanks for the tape. All the footage of my dad. At first I resented being forced to forgive you. But I did.”
“I’m glad, man. Even if it hadn’t worked, I wanted you to have that. I’m gonna do something similar for my grandma where I take the best footage I recorded of her, and—” Omar stopped in his tracks. “The tape!”
“Huh?”
He yanked on his camera strap. “After I hid the weed and went back to the road where David was waiting for me, I did a panning shot all casual like that showed which mile marker it was, so I wouldn’t forget.
But with everything that happened the next morning, I forgot the reminder! ” He laughed manically.
Diego watched over his shoulder as Omar rewound through footage of Mamani’s basement apartment, Silvia at the record store, and some moody shots of the funeral. The screen went dark, but not completely. He hit play, the headlight from a moped reflecting off a small green sign.
“Number twenty-eight!” he declared.
“Hell yeah!” Diego grinned. “Let’s go!”
They rushed from the woods, hopped on the bike, and before long were standing in front of a rotten tree.
Omar reached inside and pulled out his leather jacket.
He had to brush off bugs and other gross stuff, but it seemed none the worse for wear.
Bags bulging with dried cannabis fell to the forest floor as he untied the sleeves.
Diego began gathering them up and filling the backpack, laughing happily.
“Man, this thing reeks!” Omar said when putting on his leather jacket.
“You mean it smells good,” Diego said, plopping down on the tree to pull rolling papers out of a pocket. “Wanna get high?”
“Sure!” Omar sat next to him and watched his fingers work. “That’s so cool. How do you do that?”
“I’ll teach you.”
Diego’s mood had improved considerably. Even when Omar screwed up rolling a joint and some of the weed fell to the ground. Diego simply shrugged.
“Plenty more where that came from. Seal it up and let’s try smoking that thing. This your first time?”
“No. I’ve gotten high with Silvia. She’s a stoner.”
“No shit?” Diego lit the joint and nodded in approval. He passed it to Omar, watching as he carefully inhaled. “You sure landed yourself a hot girlfriend.”
“Silvia? She’s amazing.” He handed it back. “I’m so in love with her, dude.”
Diego took another hit. “Have you guys done it yet?”
Omar hesitated, reluctant to answer. “Uh…”
“Relax. I’m not gonna ruin a good thing for you. We’re friends, remember?”
Omar grinned. “Yeah. We’ve totally done it. Like five or six times! What about you?”
“I’ve totally done it too,” Diego replied cagily before adding, “with five or six women.”
“What? Holy shit, dude! Why am I not surprised? Wait, so you’re… I mean, you’re with Ricky now, so had you not figured out that you’re gay when you had sex with all those chicks?”
Diego took a much deeper drag than Omar could ever manage and exhaled again. “He’s the exception to the rule.”
“So you’re not gay?”
“Are you?”
“No.”
“And yet, we’ve both slept with Ricky.”
“Oh.” Omar was already feeling the weed. He shook his head when the joint was offered to him again. “I don’t get it.”
Diego took another hit. “Are you telling me you’ve never let Anthony take care of you?”
“Nah. He’s offered but… No.”
“Were you tempted?”
“Yeah. But I thought with you and Ricky… You love him, right?”
“Yup. I love Ricky. Do you love Anthony?”
“For sure! Wait, does that mean I’m… What are you trying to say?”
Diego started laughing. “I have no idea. This shit is hitting me harder than I expected. My tolerance must’ve gone down.”
Omar grinned despite feeling uneasy. Was he gay for Anthony?
Even though he was straight? Did that even make sense?
He couldn’t imagine that being a part of his identity, or doing the sorts of things his best friend had done, like coming out to the whole school and his family.
Mamani would have flipped! Or maybe not.
He’d never know. God, it was still so hard to accept that she was gone.
If she was looking down on him now… He glanced up at the sky, his eyes wide.
Omar hoped she couldn’t see this! Oh fuck, his pulse was starting to race way too fast. Was that normal?
“Hey,” Diego said. “Down here.”
Omar met his gaze while trying not to hyperventilate.
“You’re all right,” Diego said, his deep voice soothing. “There’s only this moment. All the other stuff, just let it go. People dying… Trying to figure out complicated feelings… All that shit can wait. The only thing that’s guaranteed is right here and now, so take a deep breath with me.”
Omar breathed in with him. Then he exhaled.
“Right here and now,” Diego repeated. “Just two buds hanging out. While smoking bud.”
Omar started snickering at the same time Diego did, the joy he felt overwhelming, because after years of guilt and regret on one side, pain and resentment on the other, their hearts had finally begun to heal.