CHAPTER 12
Anthony threw open the front door to reveal a smiling face brimming with enthusiasm.
“I can’t wait to hear about your date!” Ricky crowed.
“Same here!” Anthony stepped aside to allow him to enter.
“Are we going up to your room?”
“We don’t need to. My parents aren’t home. Want something to drink?”
“Sure!”
Ricky followed him to the kitchen and hopped onto one of the stools at the breakfast bar. Anthony remained on the other side after fetching a couple of sodas so they could face each other. This had the added bonus of letting him pretend to be a bartender.
“Tell me your troubles, kid,” Anthony said, dragging a dry washrag across the counter.
Ricky laughed. “No way! You have to go first. I’m dying to hear about what you did together. Wait, I don’t mean…”
“It’s fine,” Anthony said with a chuckle. “When have we ever held back?” He cleared his throat. “I picked Cameron up, because personally, I don’t think station wagons are very romantic, and I wanted the night to be perfect. We drove downtown to Crown Center… Have you ever been?”
“Yeah! It’s like a mall, but the shops and restaurants are fancier. Did you eat there?”
Anthony nodded. “We had Italian, which was really nice. And um, expensive. I’m glad Cameron has a job, because I couldn’t have afforded it.”
Ricky grinned. “Working guys are the hottest. Wait, when you picked him up, did he give you flowers?”
“Yeah! Actual roses. They’re upstairs. I’ll show you later. I gave him flowers too. Just a mixed bouquet, since I spent all my money on five different boxes of chocolate.”
Ricky laughed. “What?”
“He said he wanted multiple boxes of chocolate. I basically bought every kind that Russell Stover makes. So anyway, after dinner, we walked around and did some window shopping. Then we went ice skating.” Anthony swallowed.
“Cameron held my hand the whole time. It felt so…” Right. He couldn’t get the word out though.
“Aww!” Ricky said while studying his face.
Anthony’s chin trembled as he nodded. “Yeah. Afterwards, we explored a little more. There’s a hotel attached to Crown Center.
You have to walk the skybridge to get there, but they have this big indoor atrium with plants and a huge rocky wall with waterfalls.
It’s beautiful, especially at this time of year, so we sat there, and I read him a poem I wrote. ”
Ricky gasped. “That’s so romantic! I didn’t know you wrote poetry.”
“I don’t, usually, but lately… Everything is so good between us. Like, better than it has ever been. Which is cruel, because we both know the end is coming.”
“Maybe it’s like breakup sex.”
“Huh?”
“Breakup sex,” Ricky repeated. “You’ve never heard of that? It’s supposed to be incredibly hot when you sleep with someone after leaving them.”
“Why would you want to?”
“I’m not sure. Because you know you’ll never get to again? That has to add an extra emotional layer.”
“Exactly,” Anthony croaked. “Everything I feel for him has gotten so intense. We savor every moment. Which is nice, but I also feel like I’m making a mistake.”
“I couldn’t imagine breaking up with Cameron,” Ricky said before his face flushed. “If I was you, I’d probably move to Maine.”
“I’d be so intimidated,” Anthony said. “Sort of like when Diego asked you to move to El Paso with him. Except in my case, it would be even harder, because I’ve lived here my whole life. Kansas is all I’ve ever known.”
Ricky nodded his understanding. “The idea is one thing. The reality is another. So um… speaking of breakup sex, how did your date end?”
Anthony laughed. “Exactly how I wanted it to. We went back to his place.”
Where it was obvious that Cameron’s mother had been drinking.
She wasn’t incoherently sloshed or anything.
Who could blame her for wanting to take the edge off?
She had recently separated from her husband and it was Valentine’s Day.
But her intoxicated state was clearly of concern to Cameron, reminding them why he couldn’t stay behind when she moved to Maine.
Anthony didn’t mention any of these details to Ricky, but he did share a different uncomfortable truth.
“I didn’t wear any makeup. Okay, just a little, but I was more goth than girl.
I wanted Cameron to want me. Physically as well as emotionally.
And it paid off because…” He swallowed again.
“When people call it making love, I think they’re usually choosing the most polite term for sex, but this was exactly that. We made love.”
Ricky placed a hand over his heart. “I’m so happy for you!”
“Thanks. Tell me about your night.”
“After all that?” Ricky spluttered. “Okay. Well… I wanted a rerun of our greatest hits, except a better version. Like I made Diego take me to this bar he goes to—”
“Wait,” Anthony said, holding up a hand. “You went to an actual bar?”
Ricky nodded rapidly. “He knows the owner. We’ve been there before. That was sort of our first date, but Diego got really drunk because everything was still a little crazy. He didn’t drink at all this time. We played pool and had a burger and fries.”
“That’s so cool!”
“Yeah! You should see Diego in that kind of environment. The sex appeal is off the charts! He’s got just the right look. And he’s so cocky when leaning across the pool table to make shots. I could barely wait to jump his bones.”
Anthony laughed. “I bet! Straight back to your place, then?”
“Nope. We went out to Candle Cave.”
“The spooky place where I dropped you off last year?”
“Yup! He let me drive the whole way there. That’s where we went last year on Valentine’s Day, which was romantic, but it’s also when I accidentally got high.”
“The cookies!”
“Yeah. The second time we went out there, he was hiding from the cops. You remember. Diego wanted me to go to El Paso with him, which had me on edge and made it harder to enjoy. Although it was the first time we ever went all the way.” Ricky bit his bottom lip.
“Like they say, the third time is the charm, because last night…”
Anthony leaned forward. “What about it?”
“Let me set the scene. You know I don’t like being in the woods.
Especially at night, so he carried me to the cave.
I love being in his big strong arms. Diego had already been out there and set up a couple of sleeping bags.
It’s cold at this time of year, but he kept me warm.
There was a ring of candles around the bed he made for us.
We couldn’t really see anything but each other. ”
“That sounds so romantic!”
“Sure,” Ricky said with a shrug, “but it was also hot! Diego plowed the hell out of me, as if he had something to prove. But like I said, I got exactly what I wanted.”
Anthony chuckled. “You’re crazy.”
“Yeah, crazy for him! Afterwards, he held me. We didn’t talk much. I just listened to him breathe. I like the feel of his chest against my back. I feel so small when I’m wrapped in his arms. I could’ve stayed there all night. It was perfect! Except…”
The happy expression faltered.
“What happened?” Anthony asked.
“Nothing. He had to take me home, because of my curfew. We got back on time. I just wish…” He pressed his lips together, as if unwilling to continue.
Ricky’s forehead creased. “What if you found out the reason that Cameron’s dad took off?
Like you saw something. And you knew it would hurt Cameron if he learned the truth. Would you tell him?”
Anthony shook his head in confusion. “Did you see Cameron’s dad at the bar with another woman or something?”
“No. That’s just a made-up example. It’s really about Diego.”
What was he talking about? Diego’s mom was a widow. She was free to date again, if she wanted to. Enough years had passed that nobody would judge her, even if Diego didn’t like the idea. Which would be weird, considering how pragmatic he was. Diego was more likely to get upset about… “His father?”
The color drained from Ricky’s face. “I’d rather not say.”
“Okay. And you think it would upset Diego if you told him?”
“I know it would. But it feels wrong not to say something. Do you keep any secrets from Cameron?”
“No,” Anthony replied before reconsidering. Cameron still didn’t know that Diego no longer walked him to class. So far, there hadn’t been any trouble, which only strengthened the conviction not to tell him, since Cameron would worry for nothing. “Actually, I guess I do. For the same reason.”
“Really?” Ricky sounded relieved.
“Yeah. I don’t think he’d be happy to find out that I’m keeping a secret from him, but I have his best interests at heart.” He grimaced. “I’m sure that’s what people like Cameron’s father tell themselves when they’re cheating, so it really depends on the situation. Are you sure you can’t tell me?”
Ricky nodded. “Once it got out… You would tell Omar. Believe me. And he might tell Silvia, who might say something to Mindy. I wouldn’t blame any of you. That’s just how it goes. So I have to keep it secret, even from my big brother.”
“That’s all right. I know you would never hurt Diego on purpose.
I’m sure it’s fine.” Anthony was tempted to add that Ricky should be careful, because some people were like a powder keg, and once they exploded, the resulting fire wasn’t easily extinguished.
But then, Ricky had done the impossible and brought Diego back from the brink.
His former friend was in good hands. “Just keep loving him. That’s what he needs. ”
Ricky was transparently relieved. “Now that he’s forgiven Omar, I bet you’re next.”
Anthony’s smile felt tight. He didn’t know why Diego would choose to associate with someone like Troy, unless he wanted to make peace.
Anthony had tried to do the same, but without success.
That’s what made it so annoying, like being gay was acceptable even to Troy, as long you were strong and masculine.
Two things he would never be. “I’m sure we’ll get there eventually,” he replied before mentally adding, “Just not this century.”
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