CHAPTER 25
Omar stood on the balcony outside his bedroom and inhaled, the fresh air making him feel reinvigorated.
A gentle breeze caused branches to sway, the leaves still young enough to reveal sparkling stars shepherded by a crescent moon.
He drank in the tranquil scene, pleased that he could share it with his girlfriend. Sort of.
Omar turned toward his room. “It’s a beautiful night,” he said.
“Yeah, it is,” Silvia replied. She was sitting cross-legged on the bed, legal documents spread out around her.
“Come join me,” he suggested.
“I will. Just a sec.”
Omar faced the yard again, gripping the rails of the balcony and wishing spring break could last forever.
He didn’t mind having to work, even though it ate into the time he spent with his friends.
He’d managed to have a few sleepovers with Anthony, indulging in movie marathons and late-night gaming sessions.
Cameron got Anthony on the other nights, which wouldn’t have been a big deal except Silvia was often busy and two of his other friends had gone missing.
At the same time, so their absence wasn’t much of a mystery.
Ricky and Diego would show up before long, back from whatever adventure they’d gone on.
He was eager to hear that story. For now…
He glanced over his shoulder. Silvia was still on the bed.
“Are you coming?” he prompted.
She nodded but didn’t move.
Omar watched her, his heart fluttering, despite being troubled.
This had been happening more and more. She was so wrapped up in her work lately that it didn’t leave room for anything else.
Omar liked what he did too, but after each shift ended, he let himself enjoy the time off.
He needed to get her mind on other things.
“You’re missing out,” he said, leaning against the threshold.
She waved him into silence. Or tried to.
“Your boss can’t expect you to work days and nights,” he said, climbing into bed.
She tugged on a piece of paper that was crinkling under his knee. “Omar!”
“Oh sorry. Can’t this wait? It’s spring break!”
“I want to review this case,” Silvia said. “The client just turned twenty-one. He’s petitioning on behalf of his parents. This is exactly what I plan to do. And now I get to see it from the inside.”
“Won’t that ruin the surprise?” he joked, attempting to lighten the mood.
Another detail had already captured Silvia’s attention. He wasn’t sure that she’d heard him. Omar tried to crawl closer to her, but she was ringed in by manila folders and stapled papers.
“Don’t do that!” she chastised when he tried moving some aside.
Stung, he withdrew. “I wanna be with you!”
“This is more important than you being horny,” she snapped.
That’s not what he meant. Omar wouldn’t mind having sex, of course, but it was the closeness he craved most. She must have noticed his sullen expression, because she sighed and gave him her full attention. “My parents are really good at doing separate things while together. Can we try that?”
“What do you mean?”
“The other day, my mom was sewing up a jacket at the kitchen table while my dad was peeling potatoes.”
“Sounds fun,” Omar deadpanned, but he got the gist. “All right. Uh…” He glanced around for inspiration. Lately he’d been trying to write a script. “I guess I have something I could work on.”
“Great!”
Omar stood, grabbed his notebook, and pulled one of the canvas chairs closer. He sat facing Silvia with his bare feet on the edge of the mattress. This wasn’t so bad. They were together! Technically.
He turned his attention to the script. So far it was about a super-tough dude who was ripping through a clan of ninjas on his way to take down their master.
The main character was written with Diego in mind.
Omar wanted him to be so impressed that he couldn’t turn down the role.
He still felt moved by what he’d witnessed during the school play.
Especially that ending, which had been intensely emotional.
The script, so far, was not. He needed a reason the hero was hellbent on kicking so much ass.
A girl maybe? A really hot one in need of rescue!
Omar lowered the notebook and looked at Silvia for inspiration.
Her forehead was delicately creased in concentration.
She was so smart and beautiful, and okay, yes, he was horny, but only for her, which was different.
His right hand wouldn’t satisfy him, nor would any other girl.
He loved her so much that it was giving him a boner.
Silvia noticed his stare, seeming irritated rather than charmed.
“Sorry,” he said, averting his gaze. “I can’t concentrate right now. Do you mind if I put on some music?”
“That’s fine.”
He chewed his bottom lip, worried that he wouldn’t be able to stop staring at her. “Actually, how about music videos instead?”
She sighed in exasperation.
“Is that a yes?”
“Yes!”
He grimaced and stood, wondering as he dragged the chair away if it was that time of the month for her.
And not in a mean way. He almost hoped she did have her period, since that might explain why she was being so standoffish.
Otherwise, he was kind of lost. Had he done something wrong?
They barely had time for each other lately, and when they did, she always seemed preoccupied.
Omar plopped back down in his chair again, facing the TV this time, and raised the remote. He flipped through the channels to reach MTV, which was in the middle of Nirvana’s “Come As You Are” video.
He twisted in his chair to grin at Silvia, relieved when she smiled back, since the concert they’d gone to was one of their most treasured memories.
Maybe he should buy tickets for another show.
If not Nirvana, then some other band she liked, because it was impossible not to live in the moment when your whole body was being rocked by music.
He groaned as the music video ended and was replaced by the intro for MTV News. Kurt Loder appeared, seated at a desk, with his usual pinched expression. Omar began turning down the volume so as not to disturb Silvia, but stopped when he heard the most crucial part.
Kurt Cobain was dead.
“What?” Silvia cried from the bed.
Omar turned the TV back up, the details coming so quickly they were hard to process. The lead singer of Nirvana had apparently killed himself.
Silvia scrambled off the bed, all reverence for the documents forgotten.
She placed a hand on Omar’s shoulder as she stood next to him, her focus on the screen.
When the news update ended, he flipped through the channels, many of them reporting the same thing.
By the time he circled back around to MTV, another Nirvana music video was playing.
“This can’t be real!” Silvia said.
“Yeah.” He shook his head in disbelief. “Maybe it’s some kind of hoax.”
They both knew it wasn’t.
“I need some fresh air,” Silvia said.
Omar followed her out onto the balcony, grabbing the rail on either side of her and remembering with a jolt when he’d done the same at the concert to protect her from the slam-dancing crowd. She turned around to face him, clearly reminded of the same thing.
“Why would he kill himself?” she asked.
“I have no idea, but it sucks.” He swallowed against an all-too-familiar pain.
“I hate death.” Losing his grandmother had hurt much worse of course, but this was an unwelcome reminder of an inevitable fact: Everyone had their time.
Nobody lived forever. “Why do all the good things have to fade away?” he croaked. “Including us.”
Silvia placed a hand on his cheek. “Don’t say that!”
“Why not? It’s true! Things haven’t been the same. You know they haven’t!”
“It’s my fault,” Silvia said softly. “I’ve been so wrapped up in my work, but it’s not as simple as that.
I’ve spent so many years fearing for my family, but now…
I’m learning about the system every single day.
And helping other people, in the little ways I can, which is like practicing for my own parents.
By the time I’m ready to petition on their behalf, I want to be an expert.
I want it to be so easy that I’m bored with the whole thing.
And if anything should happen to them before then, each day that goes by is a chance to prepare myself.
I don’t feel helpless anymore, Omar. For the first time in my life, I feel powerful.
But I never intended for that to get in the way of us. ”
“It has though,” he said. “I support you. What you’re doing is more important than my feelings—”
“I don’t think—”
“It is!” he insisted. “I don’t want to be the reason your family gets torn apart. That would be selfish of me. So if you need to focus on your goals instead of us, then I guess—”
Silvia placed a palm over his mouth. “Will you go to prom with me?”
Omar took her hand in his. “What?”
“Will you go to prom with me?” Silvia repeated.
“Do you… Have time for that sort of thing?”
“I’ll make time,” she promised him.
Omar grinned. Then he laughed. “For real? You’re asking me?”
She nodded. “I love you, Omar. That hasn’t changed. If you still love me…”
“I do!” he said, sweeping her up into his arms. “Are you kidding? I love you so much!”
He kissed her. She reciprocated. They remained on the balcony together, serenaded by Nirvana, contemplating loss while celebrating the future, both feeling fortunate that they still had the music.
— — —
The world outside Ricky’s window was black and impenetrable as they drove through the night.
They were somewhere in Oklahoma, but ever since they’d taken a highway exit, it was hard to say where exactly.
He turned his attention to the driver and was struck by how haggard Diego appeared in the crimson glow of the dashboard lights.
Ricky didn’t think his boyfriend had gotten any sleep.