Chapter 26
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
S.K.A.M.
“ I t’s tough isn’t it, not having a family to fall back on,” I said, pouring empathy into the expression on my face and willing humility to shine in my eyes.
My date sighed, then smiled back at me.
She was falling for it, hook, line and sinker.
“It’s so hard to make your own way in this world,” I went on, lifting my wine glass and pretending to take another huge sip. And just as I expected, she lifted hers too, gulping the contents down as her eyes stayed glued to mine.
From the moment we’d walked into this restaurant on our fake date, I’d noticed so many things about her. Tells that would help me later tonight when I needed to take care of business. It helped that the restaurant was almost empty. There’d be fewer witnesses to say we were here. Less people to testify when she went missing. I was also lucky she’d worn a muted colour. It meant we didn’t really stand out. We were nobodies, and nobodies could get away with murder.
I proceeded to tell her what a brave and strong woman I thought she was, and I could tell she trusted me by her unwavering eye contact and how she smiled so sweetly back at me. She was nervous and didn’t want to show it, but the way she talked fast, her conversation muddled at times, was a dead giveaway. She was easily pleased, and at the same time, eager to please. She would be my easiest target yet. A target I had chosen to make a statement. If I wanted to, I could get to anyone.
Her mobile phone was still in her handbag. I’d be sorting that discrepancy out a little later. I wasn’t worried, though. She had no family waiting on her, and she hadn’t taken her phone out the whole time she’d been with me. She’d given me one hundred percent of her time and attention. I’d give her the exact same treatment later, when I had her alone in my studio.
Through the evening, I’d noticed that she was left-handed. I’d need to bear that in mind when the time came to restrain her. Subtleties like that had to be noted, and I was a perfectionist. There was no room for error.
She thanked me for the compliments I was showering her with, then reached for her handbag as she said, “I have to use the bathroom. I won’t be long. Would you excuse me for a moment?”
“Of course.” I nodded and smiled as she stood up and made her way to the back of the restaurant. She glanced over her shoulder as she walked away and grinned when she saw I was watching her.
I shook my head, smiling to myself as she disappeared out of sight.
Fuck I was good at this shit.
I poured more wine into her glass; more for her meant less for me. I needed to keep a clear head. To stay focused on the goal of the evening. There was no room for alcohol and no room for failure.
As I sat back, assessing the area and planning my next move, I spotted a familiar figure walking through the restaurant towards our table.
He moved across the space as if he was in an action movie, with his foreboding height and rippling muscles, like he was walking away from a disaster about to explode behind him. And I smiled, knowing it was the opposite. It was disaster he was walking towards, not away from.
“I would say I’m surprised to see you,” I said as he came nearer. “But part of me is disappointed you waited this long to pay me a visit.” I frowned and added, “How did you find me, by the way.”
He didn’t reply straight away, just pulled out the chair opposite and sat down.
Then he leaned forward, alert, glaring at me like he wanted to fly across the table and stab me in the eye with a fork.
“And I’m disappointed that I have to be here and state the fucking obvious, but here we are,” he finally replied in a gruff, low voice. Then he gestured to ring on my right hand. “The ring I gave you last year, it’s fitted with a tracker. I knew it’d come in handy eventually.”
I lifted my hand and twisted the ring on my finger, shrugged, and said, “Good call.”
Anyone looking our way would think we were two businessmen, discussing deals and making money. Both of us were wearing dark blue, fucking expensive suits, and shoes that would cost a month’s wages for most people. But this was no friendly sit down. This was something else entirely.
“You need be careful what you say, Alex.” I smiled a slow, leisurely smile. “My date will be back soon. I’d hate for you to scare her off. It’s been going so well.”
I noticed the way his jaw clenched before he replied.
“I already paid the waiter to stall her until I say so. We don’t need an audience for this,” he sneered.
I folded my arms as I lazed back in my chair, wanting him to know how relaxed and unfazed I felt. The polar opposite to his hunched forward stance and uptight demeanour.
“But you know how much I love an audience.” I cocked my head to the side. “Why would you try and stifle me, Alex? You should never stifle a creative when they’re in their element.”
“You’ve gone too fucking far this time. You know you have.”
I shrugged as if I had no idea what he was talking about.
“I know nothing of the sort. I think you need to elaborate for me.”
His jaw was ticking now, like he might break a tooth at any minute. I did love making him squirm.
“Don’t play games with me,” he hissed. “You know exactly what I mean.”
“Which is...?”
“Emma,” he snapped. “Stay the fuck away from her. I fucking mean it.”
I gave a low chuckle as he bristled with anger.
“You’ve got it bad for this one, huh?” I joked.
In all the time I’d known Alex, he’d never shown interest in a woman. And then along came Emma fucking Belmont.
His reaction to her had startled me at first. I found his lack of restraint a little unnerving, and I was doing my best to try and show him the error of his ways. Putting your trust and heart into something that wouldn’t work was for fools. Alex was no fool. And I’d keep reminding him of that fact for as long as I needed to. It was my duty, after all.
“She doesn’t deserve the crap you’re giving her,” he went on, as if I cared what she deserved. I couldn’t give a shit.
“Doesn’t she?” I replied, frowning. “She wasn’t very nice to me in the press. Or have you forgotten that?”
“You and I both know that was bullshit. It was a fake review, written by Gold, using her name. We know how Gold works. You aren’t that stupid. In fact, I know you aren’t. And I don’t think this is about a shitty review at all. Your ego isn’t that fragile. Nothing about you is fucking fragile.”
“I’m offended.” I reared back, pretending to look affronted. “I take pride in my work, and she shit all over it.”
“No, she didn’t, and you know that as well as I do. So, tell me, what is this really about?”
I drummed my fingers on the table and sighed.
“Do I really need to explain myself to you, of all people?”
His brows raised like he was surprised I was challenging him. I didn’t normally have to challenge him. He always danced to my tune.
“I’ve supported you from day one,” he stated. “I’ve done everything in my power to help you. I wanted you to have purpose and drive, but this...?” He sneered in disgust. “It’s fucked-up and it stops. Today. You’ve fucking lost it.”
I gave him another nonchalant shrug.
“I haven’t lost anything. I know exactly what I’m doing.” I nodded over at him. “I think you might’ve lost a few things, though. Did you leave your balls back at home with Emma? Nice touch, moving her in with you, by the way.”
Fury burned in his eyes, knowing I was watching her. That I was watching everything. And he picked up a steak knife and slammed it into the tabletop, his eyes on me as the knife wedged into the wood.
“There he is,” I chuckled to myself. “I’ve missed seeing this Alex. I like it when he comes out to play.”
“I’m not playing this time,” he seethed, keeping his hand on the knife as he glared at me. “You’re lucky it wasn’t your hand that I stabbed this into. I’m holding myself back right now and we both know how hard that can be for men like us.”
I shrugged. “Put your knife wherever you fucking want. It’d be nice to feel something for a change.”
He shook his head, that sneer firmly imprinted on his face.
“You’re a sick motherfucker.”
I winked back at him. “But I’m your sick motherfucker.”
He took a few deep breaths, and then, in a hushed tone, he said, “If you go near her again, I swear I will end you. Send her any messages, break into her house, or even so much as breathe in her vicinity and I’ll cut your fucking heart out.” Then leaning a little closer, he added, “Even if you think about her, if her face ever crosses your mind, then my face will be the last thing you ever see, right before I send you to fucking hell.”
I couldn’t keep the grin off my face. I loved it when he showed this side to him.
“Jesus, it really was love at first sight.”
“Is that what this is about?” His brows knitted together as he stared daggers at me. “Are you jealous?”
I regarded him for a moment, and then decided to give him a taste of my truth.
“You know, Alex, I’m going to be honest with you here. It’s always been you and me against the world. And I liked that. I’d never had that before. But that night, at the Berkeley Gallery, you spent the entire show watching her. Not me. Her. It didn’t matter what I did or what I said, your gaze never wavered. I knew then that she’d be trouble. And she is trouble. Trouble that needs to be dealt with.”
“She isn’t trouble, and you’re not dealing with shit,” he growled, his fists clenching like he was ready to fight. “She’s nothing to you. You don’t even need to think about her. And as for it being us against the world, I think I deserve something more now, don’t you? I deserve a shot at something real. You don’t get to say who I spend time with. I like Emma. More than like her. I want to get to know her. Spend time with her. And I won’t stand by while you try to destroy what could be something good for me.”
I shook my head remorsefully.
“But what if I’m saving you, Alex? What if I know something you don’t know?”
“Like what?” he scoffed. “What could you possibly know about her that I don’t?”
I smirked, feeding off his anger as I toyed with him. “Or maybe I’m just messing with your head.”
“You like doing that, don’t you.”
I nodded with pride. “Your head, hers, anyone’s. Yeah, I do. It makes life a little more interesting.”
“Except I already told you, she’s off limits.”
I rubbed my jaw as if I was considering what he’d said and whether I agreed.
“Off limits,” I mused. “I seem to remember that being our favourite target.” And I sighed dramatically. “I miss the old days.”
Fire burned in his eyes as he tried to control himself.
“Life moves on,” he spat.
I knew that was bullshit, but I agreed. I was growing tired of arguing. He needed to move on.
“Yes, it does, and so do we. I’m really pleased to see you again, but you’ve chosen the most awkward time. I’m on a date and it’s going really well. I think she’s dying to see my apartment.”
“Date’s over,” he replied, lifting his chin defiantly.
“Really?” I pretended to look shocked. “What? No goodnight kiss? No awkward fumble in the dark, hoping for more? I feel a little robbed here.”
“I always swore that I’d do right by you, and I’m a man of my word.”
“You’re a man of many words, but right now, I could really take a raincheck on hearing them.”
But he wasn’t deterred.
“I have a car outside. You’re going to leave this restaurant immediately and get into it. It’ll take you to a rehab facility, and you’ll stay there until whatever this weird, psychotic episode your currently having ends. Is that clear?”
It was my turn to sneer at him.
“I’m not leaving. I have a show in Milan on Thursday.”
“I thought you’d say that,” he replied casually, like he always had the answers. “So I’ve arranged for you to be escorted to Italy and back. I know it’s a commitment you need to keep. But you will go into rehab. And after Thursday, there’ll be no more performances.”
“And if I say no?”
“Then I’ll take you in myself. Or call the police.”
“Oh, Alex.” I tutted. “You disappoint me. The police? Come on. We both know that’d be suicide for both of us.”
“At this point, I really don’t care,” he shot back. “I’ll do whatever I can to get you out of Emma’s life.”
I gave another low chuckle. “I leave, or your face is the last thing I see before all the hellfire and purgatory. Mind you, that second option kind of sounds fun to me. It calls to my twisted side.”
“Don’t fucking try me,” he seethed.
I glanced toward the bathrooms and asked, “And my date? What happens to her? I can’t leave the poor girl stranded.”
Alex grabbed a passing waiter and asked him for a piece of paper from his notebook and the use of his pen. Then he scribbled something down, took his wallet out, threw a wad of cash into the middle of the table and placed the note on top.
“Sorted,” he snapped.
“You do love taking charge, don’t you.” I grinned and wiggled my eyebrows as I asked, “Is that why you like Emma, because she has a vulnerability to her? She’s all alone with no one to help her. The perfect damsel in distress. But don’t worry, Emma... Alex is here to save the day. He feeds off the kind of bullshit your life seems to wallow in. He fucking revels in it.”
My eyes turned darker as I fixed him with a knowing stare. “She’s like a magnet for you, isn’t she. Admit it. You can’t help yourself. You thrive off her need for attention.” I clicked my fingers trying to find the right words. “What is it? It’s not a God complex. What’s the word I’m looking for?” And then I pointed my finger at him and smiled as the words came to me. “A saviour complex. That’s what you have. You live to save others. You tried to do that with me, but with her, it’s so much more rewarding because you get to fuck her at the end of it. I only made you some art to hang on your wall.”
“Fuck you,” he hissed.
“You hate that I’m telling you the truth. She brings out your nurturing side but let’s not forget... that’s not all you are. And after what I’ve seen tonight, I can see she brings out your dark side, too. But does she know that? Does she realise what you are?”
“I’m done with this conversation. You need to leave and get in the car.” He went to stand up, but my words stopped him.
“You already said that, and I hate to disappoint you, but I’m still weighing up my options.”
He gripped the edge of the table as he leaned over it.
“You have none. Leave, or I will make you.”
“How’s Alma, by the way?” I mused, changing the subject to something I knew would rile him up even more. “Is she still making the best cups of tea in the county?” I cocked my head and smirked as he struggled to hold himself together.
“I knew you were behind that bullshit. I fucking knew it.”
“You still sacked her, though.”
“Obviously. I didn’t know it was you. If I had, we’d have had this conversation a hell of a lot sooner. Why did you do it?”
The twitching in his jaw, his death-like grip on the table, and the way his muscles were so taut he was seconds away from going full-on Hulk on me told me I’d hit the nerve I wanted to hit.
“What else was I supposed to do?” I hissed.
But I had a few more aces to play, and I carried on goading him.
“I was impressed you found the loft space at Emma’s, by the way. The people on that block are way too trusting. Did you know her neighbour, Ethel, watches five hours of gameshows every day? And Meg and Charlie really need to invest in some new Christmas decorations. The ones they have stored up there are absolute shit. Oh, and don’t even get me started on Kevin at the end. He was so grateful for the mural I painted in his bedroom and the coke I gave him to help him through the day, he offered me a spare key so I could come and go as I pleased. Like I said... way too nice.”
“You fucking bastard,” he snarled. “I want that key. I want it now.”
“I don’t have it on me.”
I did. But I wasn’t going to give it up that easily.
“Then I’ll change his locks. I’ll change all the fucking locks. Not that you’ll be able to access her house that way again anyway. It’s getting bricked up.”
“Maybe not that way,” I replied. “But you know I have my ways.”
“For fuck’s sake. Enough,” he shouted, drawing the attention of the waiters and the few other patrons in the restaurant. “I’ve told you, this isn’t happening anymore. It’s over.”
I knew we weren’t getting anywhere fast. I also knew Alex was so stubborn he’d sit here all fucking night. So I decided to humour him.
“Fine. If it’ll make you happy, I’ll go to your rehab and I’ll leave you to self-implode in the little love bubble you’re creating. By the way, does she know you have no intention of ever letting her leave?”
“I’m not gonna imprison her. What the fuck do you take me for?”
“Aren’t you? Damn, Alex. You’re getting boring in your old age.”
“I couldn’t give a shit what you think,” he snapped. “I want a shot at a normal life. Is that so hard to believe?”
“Not at all. But what do I know? You don’t care what I think,” I mused. “But let’s face facts, neither one of us is normal.”
“I’m done talking.” Alex stood up and watched, waiting for me to do the same.
“Looks like I’m having a little holiday,” I announced, standing too, but doing it as slowly as I could for effect.
“You’re lucky that holiday isn’t being spent at the bottom of the canal.”
“I heard you loud and clear the first time, I’m so fucking lucky. I haven’t always been lucky though, have I?”
The way Alex froze in response told me he wasn’t prepared to take a trip down memory lane. Not when that lane was like walking on hot coals, laced with shards of glass, with some acid thrown down for good measure.
We headed out into the cold, dark night and I turned to face Alex as a driver held the door open to the car he wanted me to get into.
“I guess I’ll be seeing you soon. You’re gonna love the Milan show.”
“I won’t be there,” he replied, ignoring my outstretched hand, refusing to shake it.
“You’re not coming to Italy?”
He stared back at me, blankly.
“No, I’m not. I’m not coming to anymore shows, and I won’t be buying any more pieces or investing any money. I’ll pay for your rehab, but after that, this,” he gestured between the two of us, “Is over.”
He went to walk away, but I called out, “Alex.”
As he turned around, I took the ring he’d given me off my finger and threw it at him.
He caught it, and I said, “I won’t be needing that anymore. And you don’t need to track me.”
“No, I don’t,” he said, putting the ring in his pocket. “I don’t need to see you ever again.” And he walked away, getting into his car as I stood there, watching him.
“Oh, I wouldn’t count on that,” I whispered to myself. “It’ll take more than a few idol threats and a stint in rehab to get rid of me. I will be seeing you again very soon, Alex Kingston.” And I climbed into the car and let it drive me away.