Chapter 8
Dining Room
Longbourn
Evening
Several Days Later
Darcy was uneasily aware that an anxious heart was making him even more silent and wooden than usual. Being back in Hertfordshire, back at Longbourn, had put a lump in his throat that no swallowing could dislodge. It was not terribly likely that anyone save Miss Elizabeth – who was now seated beside him – had even noticed, for Mrs. Bennet was overflowing with delight at the betrothal of her eldest, and her two youngest daughters, habitually boisterous, were making quite enough noise for all the diners. Jane, wreathed in smiles at the foot of the table and sending Bingley besotted looks ever and anon, was not taking her usual pains to hush her sisters, leaving Miss Elizabeth and dour Miss Mary to take up that mantle.
And so it was unlikely that anyone would notice Darcy's silence but Miss Elizabeth, but that was the worst possible outcome. He chewed his way through an excellent ragout, casting around for something to say. He turned to the lady beside him. “I must say, Miss Elizabeth, it was delightful to be invited to dine at Longbourn so soon after our arrival.”
She directed her arch smile on him and he thought wistfully that he wished it were sincere, even as he was struck anew by her beauty. “As to that, Mr. Darcy, we are very pleased you accepted, for no doubt you and your sister are weary from the journey from London earlier today. I am certain Charles would have played the host at Netherfield tonight if you insisted, but he and Jane desire to spend every possible hour together.”
“They are very well suited, and I wish them both great joy,” Darcy said earnestly, glancing down the table at the couple. It was apparent that his wishes for them were already coming true, and he watched for a moment, longing and envy seeping into his very real joy. How brightly Bingley's face shone, how tender were the glances he turned on his bride to be! An acute stab of bereavement went through Darcy. How he wished that he and Miss Elizabeth were engaged!
“As do we all,” that lady agreed, bringing him back from his wandering thoughts. He did not have time to formulate an answer before she turned back to her conversation with Georgiana, and he took a bite of peas. At least Georgiana was well enough, with his darling Elizabeth on one side and Mrs. Annesley on the other.
“I always knew our Jane could not be so beautiful for nothing!” Mrs. Bennet cried and dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief. Darcy glanced uneasily at Georgiana, but she was paying little mind to the lady of the house. Her eyes were sparkling as she described the walks of Pemberley's rose garden to Miss Elizabeth, who encouraged her with skillful questions.
"The most beautiful lady of my acquaintance," Bingley agreed adoringly, and Jane smiled serenely, though her face was pink with pleasure.
It was not long afterward that Mrs. Bennet lay down her napkin and rose from the table. Her daughters and female guests followed suit, and Darcy watched his sister walk out flanked by both Elizabeth and Mrs. Annesley.
***
Drawing Room
“Miss Darcy!” Lydia exclaimed, walking over to the fire to hold out her hands. “I do love your gown. It is so elegant!”
Georgiana looked down at her dress and managed a shy smile. “Why, thank you, Miss Lydia. It is one of my favorites.”
Miss Kitty, who was quieter than the boisterous youngest Miss Bennet, took a few steps closer and said enviously, “Is it silk, Miss Darcy?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, how glorious!” Kitty said. “Silk is so dear, though I suppose that given how rich you are, most of your gowns are silk.”
Georgiana cast an uneasy look at Elizabeth, who smiled reassuringly and said, “Every family is different, and we are certainly blessed in having many beautiful gowns.”
“Yes,” Lydia said, “and I would far rather live without silk than to have such an unpleasant brother as Mr. Darcy.”
Georgiana gasped at these words, and Miss Elizabeth turned a furious look on her sister. “Lydia! How dare you say such a rude thing!”
“It is not nearly as rude as Mr. Darcy was to you, Lizzy, when he said you were not handsome enough to dance with!”
Georgiana, turning wide eyes on Elizabeth Bennet, noted the flush on the lady’s face. “Lydia, Mr. Darcy apologized to me over that. He was fatigued that evening, and…”
“My brother truly said that to you?” Georgiana blurted out. “That you were not handsome enough to dance with? I cannot believe it!”
“But he did!” Lydia insisted.
“Lydia, you will be silent,” Elizabeth said, her eyes flashing with fire.
***
Dining Room
Bennet made himself hospitable with his port, and Darcy savored his first mouthful of the wine.
"Well, Bingley," their host said, "how are you finding the book on estate management that I leant you?"
It turned out that Bennet had quite the extensive library, and Darcy was pleasantly surprised to find in the indolent master of Longbourn a fellow bibliophile. Bingley took little part in the following fifteen minutes' conversation, finishing his wine quickly and fidgeting about until Bennet at last drained his own glass and said, "I suppose we ought not deprive the ladies any longer of the pleasure of our presence."
It was but a short walk down the hall to the drawing room, and Bennet pushed open the door. Darcy followed Mr. Bennet into the room and then halted, his eyes flying to Georgiana, who was looking distressed.
“Lydia, you will be silent,” his beloved Elizabeth said, her eyes flashing with fire. “That insult is both forgiven and forgotten!”
“But he did say it,” Lydia whined, and Elizabeth actually placed a hand over her sister’s mouth and then turned an apologetic look on Georgiana. “Miss Darcy, please, you need not concern yourself…”
Georgiana turned horrified eyes on Darcy, who felt every muscle in his body stiffen.
“Georgiana, what is it?” he demanded.
“Is it true?” she asked in wonder. “Did you insult Miss Elizabeth the first day you met her?”
Darcy looked at Elizabeth, who said, “I am so very sorry, Mr. Darcy. Lydia…”
“No, it is my fault,” Darcy said, straightening his back and keeping his eyes fixed on his darling. “I did insult you, and while I apologized to you some weeks ago, I have not expressed my regret to your family. Mr. and Mrs. Bennet, Misses Bennet, I hope you will forgive me for my cruel words at the Meryton assembly last November. I was tired and in a bad mood that day, but that is no excuse. I barely looked at Miss Elizabeth at the time and was obviously a fool, as I find Miss Elizabeth the most handsome lady of my acquaintance.”
Elizabeth laughed at his statement, and Darcy felt the tension in the room ease. “Thank you, Mr. Darcy, that is very kind, even if I know you are exaggerating, which is not like you at all. I am well aware that Jane is the beauty of the family.”
“Not to me,” Darcy declared and stepped forward toward her, his eyes seeking her own, his breathing quickened. “In the months since we first met, I have come to realize that to me, you are the most beautiful woman in all creation, along with being the cleverest. I am, in fact, in love with you, though I know you do not particularly like me, and I did not mean … that is…”
He stopped suddenly and looked around to see multiple shocked faces. He took a step back in dismay. Had he gone mad?
“That is wonderful!” Mrs. Bennet cried out, surging forward joyfully. “Oh, Mr. Darcy, you are entirely correct that Elizabeth is very intelligent, just like her father, and as for her looks, well, she is very beautiful. Is this not wonderful, Elizabeth?”
Elizabeth was staring at Darcy in complete and utter shock, her mouth hanging open slightly to reveal even white teeth.
“You ... you...”
“Love you, yes,” he said fervently and shook his head. “I do apologize for speaking so precipitously on the matter. It was very poorly done of me, but I did not want you to think even for a moment that I do not admire you with every fiber of my being.”
“And that is the mark of a good marriage!” Mrs. Bennet cried out. “My dear Lizzy, such pin money you will have!”
“Wife, daughters, guests,” Mr. Bennet said, raising his voice, “I believe that Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy need to speak to one another in private. Shall we return to the dining room, perhaps, and enjoy coffee and tea there?”
Mr. Darcy, who was feeling more and more appalled by his own outburst, turned his focus on his beloved and said, “Miss Elizabeth, if you do not wish to speak to me, I entirely understand.”
“Nonsense,” Elizabeth replied. “We definitely need to talk, Mr. Darcy. Miss Darcy, perhaps you and my sister Mary and Mrs. Annesley would enjoy speaking of music?”
Georgiana, who was naturally distressed, turned toward Mary, who said, “I would like that very much. Lizzy is the only other person who plays in our house.”
Still looking rather dazed, Georgiana, after casting a quick look at her brother, nodded and left the room with Mary on one side and Mrs. Annesley on the other. The rest of the family slowly filed out, looking more or less astonished, until the room was empty save for Darcy and Elizabeth, though the door was left open a few inches for propriety’s sake.
“Please, do sit down,” Elizabeth said, gesturing toward a chair near the fire.
“After you, please,” he responded, and she obediently sat down, while he took a seat across from her.
“I confess to complete astonishment at your words,” she said, her expression one of wonder. “I thought you despised me and my family.”
Darcy groaned and ran his hands down his face before forcing himself to meet her puzzled gaze.
“My stupid words at the assembly,” he said heavily.
“It is not just that,” she replied. “You used to stare at me at Netherfield, when Jane was ill, and…”
She trailed off, her brow puckered. “Is it possible you already admired me at the time?”
“I did, very much,” he said solemnly. “Nor did I understand that, well, I thought that you were aware of my admiration, since I did not remember my dreadful words at the assembly until reminded of them much later.”
Elizabeth gazed at him, her brown eyes solemn, and shook her head slowly. “I still cannot believe it. You really think that you love me?”
“I know I do, and want to marry you,” he responded instantly and felt his face warm in his passion. “I will confess that I partially left Hertfordshire to escape your magnetic presence, and the very day that Richard told you of my interference in your sister’s courtship, I had decided to offer for your hand in marriage.”
Elizabeth stared at him incredulously. “You were going to offer for me that day?”
“I was,” he confessed. “I thought that we were engaging in a courtship of our own as we wandered the paths of Rosings and believed you were expecting me to…”
He trailed off at the shock on her face and shook his head. “I was a fool, obviously.”
“No, not at all,” she said, “I suppose I was being very obtuse because, as you said, our first meeting was not a positive one, and then Mr. Wickham poured his filthy lies into my ears. No, it is not your fault.”
She lapsed into silence, her countenance pensive, and Darcy opened his mouth to speak, and then closed it again. He did not know what to say, not at all, and he had never been so frustrated with his clumsy tongue.
“I do not love you,” his adored lady said after a minute of silence, “but I certainly admire you. I cannot accept your offer of marriage, but I would enjoy a courtship, if you are amenable to that.”
Darcy, whose heart was hammering in his chest, beamed with relief. “Yes, of course, I would very much enjoy a courtship. Thank you, Miss Bennet.”
“Thank you, Mr. Darcy,” she said.