Chapter 2
“You girls must have new dresses for the assembly,” Mrs. Bennet exclaimed. “Mr. Bingley will be there, but so will every remotely eligible woman in Meryton and the area! We are already at a disadvantage since your father is too … ill to visit Mr. Bingley; you must be dressed beautifully if there is any chance of forming an attachment with the young man!”
Elizabeth gathered her thoughts. She was somewhat surprised that it had taken Mrs. Bennet nearly a week to learn of Mr. Bingley, but now the lady was obsessed with meeting the man and ensnaring him as husband to one of her daughters. Elizabeth had successfully delayed discussing the young man for a full day but finally Mrs. Bennet had cornered her in the parlor.
Elizabeth took a careful sip of tea, “Mama, Mr. Bingley has never met any of us. He will not know whether we have new dresses or not.”
“Nonsense, Lizzy, nonsense. We have not had new dresses in nearly a year except for the black and lavender ones while we mourned Matthew! I absolutely insist that you provide the funds for them. We will need to go to Meryton this afternoon to visit Mrs. Shelton for fittings. Furthermore, Lydia will attend the assembly whether she wishes to or no. She is second in beauty to Jane and so very lively, or at least she was lively. Now she just mopes around the house all the time.”
Elizabeth took a deep breath, struggling to manage her anger, “Matthew was her twin brother, Mama! You know how very close they were! You can hardly blame her for still being distressed. It has only been six months since we lost him.”
Her mother frowned at her, “Of course I understand, and I grieve him as well. My dear son, my only son, struck down in his prime! And it was all your father’s fault! If only he had taken Matthew to that London doctor when the poor boy was so sick …”
“Mother,” Elizabeth interrupted, straightening her back and glaring into the matron’s face, “please stop saying that! Please! You know Matthew was always weak; indeed, you took him to multiple doctors, you took him to the seaside, you did everything you could. Those last weeks we all knew … we all knew he was near his end, Mama. You know he did not want to be tormented by being jolted in a carriage to London, nor did he wish to be prodded and poked by more doctors. He just wanted to be here with his family, at his precious Longbourn. Please, Mama, please, do not … do not harangue Father. It truly was not his fault!”
Mrs. Bennet’s eyes filled with tears, “I lost everything when Matthew died, you know that! My only son, my security! Now Longbourn will pass on to that vile Mr. Collins, and we will be thrown into the hedgerows. And given how your father is drinking, he will probably die sooner rather than later! And then what shall we do? The only hope is that one of you girls will marry for money. Thus, you must have new dresses.”
Elizabeth sighed and blew out a slow breath, “Very well, Jane, Mary and Kitty will get new dresses. I do not need one as I have no intention of marrying soon. And Lydia will not be going to the assembly, Mama. She does not wish to, and I will not force her to do so.”
“How dare you? I am your mother, and hers! I will decide what Lydia does or does not do!”
“Father will back me up, you know that,” Elizabeth returned quietly.
“Oh yes, I know he will indeed do whatever you say, Elizabeth. Of course he will! This is a pretty thing, is it not? My husband a drunkard, my daughter ruling over me! Never did I imagine that my life would come to this. If only my dear Matthew were still alive. He always had compassion on my nerves!”
The lady rose to her feet and flounced out of the room with a huff. A moment later, Elizabeth heard her calling for their butler, Mr. Hill, to arrange for the carriage after luncheon.
“I am sorry, Elizabeth,” Mary murmured. She had been sitting by the parlor fire throughout this diatribe, but now she rose and sank down next to her older sister.
“It is all right,” Elizabeth replied wearily. “She will forget she even said such things in a few hours.”
“It is horribly unfair. When I think of how much you do, of how much you have done. It is only thanks to you and your hard work and intelligence that Longbourn is solvent! Mother has no head for figures or economy, and Father …”
Elizabeth shook her head disconsolately, “Father is who he is, Mary. I pray every day that he will choose to give up the liquor, but nothing I have done, nothing that any of us has done, has changed his course.”
“I truly do not understand,” Mary declared, her lips pinched. “We all suffered when we lost Matthew. We all loved him dearly. But none of the rest of us has turned to alcohol, not even our mother! How could Father renege on his duties to us, to his wife, to Longbourn!”
“Jane says, and I think she is right, that Father feels guilty that Matthew died.”
Mary looked at her with wonder, “Guilty? But you said … it was not truly his fault, was it?”
Elizabeth rose to her feet and strode to the window, staring out over the side lawn which faced to east.
“No, Mary, it was not Father’s fault, not at all. I do not know if you remember the birth of the twins but you must know that Matthew was always sickly, even from infancy. Mother and Father did everything they could for him, but there was something wrong with his heart. Nonetheless, Mother is prone to blame others for her sorrows, and I am certain her accusations have dug into our father’s soul. Father lost his heir, his son, and his legacy in one blow, fueling his desire to drink in excess to avoid the guilt and loss he feels. I do not pretend to understand his … predilection for alcohol, but you know he was not like this before Matthew died.”
“I do know. Oh Elizabeth, I pray for you every day, that our Lord will give you the strength to carry a burden that is too much. I wish I could do more …”
“You are doing enough, Mary,” her sister assured her, turning around with a slightly wavering smile. “You have taken Kitty under your wing, even as Jane has mothered Lydia through this ordeal. I was born with a very strong will, you know that, and am quite able to stand up to Mother so long as Father supports me. I confess it does hurt me when Mother is so intemperate in her speech, but I know Father is grateful for all I do for Longbourn, for our family.”
“The rest of us are very grateful too, Lizzy. And I do not need a new dress. You know I have little chance of attracting a husband as I am the least handsome of us.”
Elizabeth shook her head, “No, you will have a new dress, Mary. Mother is right that it has been quite some time since we purchased anything besides mourning. We sold a few cattle only recently and they went for a high price. We can afford new dresses.”
Mary shook her head, “I do not know how you keep track of such things.”
“I truly enjoy the complexities of estate management,” her sister confessed. “I find it fascinating. I admit that Kitty’s sorrow, and Lydia’s, is harder for me to cope with well. I feel so helpless in the face of their grief. I know you suffer as well, but are less open about it.”
Mary looked down at her own hands, “I will be honest, Lizzy, that most of my memories of Matthew are tinged with sadness because he was sickly. I do miss him, very much, but in a way, and I hope this does not sound terrible …”
“You are thankful he is no longer suffering,” her sister finished softly. “I understand completely, Mary, and I agree. He is in Heaven, freed from the pain of a broken body.”