Chapter 2 #2
“Mr. Darcy, just like your effort, your concern is truly appreciated but really unjustified. Nobody who knows us both would ever suspect that something improper occurred here. If we are found here, people would more likely worry that we had hurt each other in a fight or argument…”
He felt the smile in her voice and stood up, turning to her, surprised and bewildered. Her smile widened.
“Come now, sir, it is a truth universally acknowledged in Hertfordshire that we dislike each other and that we became enemies from the first time we met at the Meryton assembly.”
Darcy was now completely puzzled. “People think we are enemies? Why would they believe that?”
Now she laughed. “Perhaps because you offended me before we even became acquainted. Surely you did not imagine that you could call me tolerable and refuse to dance with me, and my mother and all the other neighbours would ever forgive you.”
He stared at her, utterly astounded and deeply embarrassed. She had heard him and she had held a grudge against him all this time. The room became smaller, warmer and his breathing heavier. He loosened his neckcloth.
“Miss Bennet, I must apologise for that evening…It was unfortunate timing when…”
“Do not worry, sir, it is all long past. But, as I said, nobody would ever accuse you of compromising me, regardless of what strange situation we might find ourselves in. You must not worry about your reputation.”
His distress increased. “It is also your reputation that concerns me, Miss Bennet. I have a young sister and I would not want her to ever be placed in such a circumstance that might ruin her life by being trapped into a forced marriage.”
“I thank you for your care, but I am not worried about my reputation at all, as I know neither of us has done anything wrong. And even if someone would be so unreasonable as to assume a falsehood, you may rest assured that your life will not be disrupted in any way. I would never accept being forced into a marriage against my will, and I most certainly do not wish to be bound to you at all. But as I have already mentioned several times, this is the last thing we should worry about.”
Darcy looked at her in disbelief. Could she be genuine in her statement?
Would she refuse to marry him, if conditions should demand it?
Was she so upset with him for that offence at the assembly that she would reject the chance of a rich life, so far beyond her present conditions and prospects?
Surely she could never expect to marry someone in his position.
She could not possibly be serious in dismissing such a possibility.
His torment grew stronger, much like the storm outside. They held one another’s gaze for a while, then he hastened to the fire and put another log on it.
“Please sit,” he invited her. Elizabeth hesitated briefly, then obeyed tentatively. They were now sitting, facing each other, illuminated by the fire.
“The wooden door is quite heavy, and the rain would cover any calling we might attempt. If we screamed loud enough to be heard, surely that would wake up the whole house, including the servants. Would it not be uncomfortable for you to have them all here, staring at you, wondering, guessing, assuming…”
She blushed at his explanation, feeling suddenly uncovered and exposed more than she could endure.
“Then what can be done?” she whispered.
“Wait a little longer…My poor attempt at fixing the door failed, but my valet will surely come to look for me soon. He expects me to retire for the night and if I am late, he will worry. I am usually in the library at this hour, so he will first search here.”
“I see…that would be a satisfying resolution indeed…”
“Yes…When he comes, he will open the door and I will leave with him. That will allow you time to retire to your chamber shortly after that, with no one suspecting anything.”
“That is an excellent plan,” she smiled gratefully. “Now I feel less guilty for causing this unpleasant occurrence.”
“You have no reason to feel guilty, I assure you.”
He was tempted to speak further but her nearness was detrimental to his conversational skills.
“May I offer you my coat? It is rather chilly in here,” he asked.
“Yes, thank you.” More than being cold, she was relieved to cover herself. He took his coat and put it on her shoulders. The mere gesture stirred his senses so deeply that he removed his hands immediately and resumed his place.
Elizabeth wrapped the coat around her, then slid her arms into the sleeves; the jacket was large, but pleasant and soft. It carried his scent and his heat and she found herself blushing. She trembled, although she already felt warmer.
“Thank you,” she whispered again. “Let us hope your valet will not be long.”
“I hope the same; this is one night when I hope he keeps his good habits. He is very efficient and trustworthy.”
“I am sure he is. He would not be your valet otherwise. I am sure all your staff are very proficient,” she said, teasingly.
She had smiled at him many times before and he had assumed it was a sign of her inclination towards him and proof of her preference for him. He had just discovered that he had been utterly wrong–so he hesitated now to judge her words in a favourable way.
“My staff perform their duties as expected, and I repay their service fairly. I wish them to feel comfortable and safe in their daily life, so they can attend to their jobs,” he responded coldly.
Elizabeth’s smile faded, wondering why he looked so uneasy.
“I imagine you keep a large number of servants, especially at Pemberley. I understand the estate and the manor are impressive.”
His voice suddenly softened. “Pemberley is my home. I am not sure I would call it impressive, but it is beautiful. At least to me and my sister,” he responded.
“I understand your sister is a very accomplished young lady,” Elizabeth offered.
A smile warmed his expression. “Georgiana possesses great talent, along with her love for music. She also enjoys books, opera and theatre. But her most important accomplishments are her kind heart and generous nature.”
His emotion was so pure and so strong that it warmed Elizabeth too. Their eyes met and she needed a moment to reply.
“Miss Darcy seems to be fortunate to have such a caring brother.”
“I am fortunate to have her, I assure you,” Darcy said.
“I feel the same about my sister, Jane. Everybody admires Jane’s beauty, but there is so much more to her that most people cannot see. She is the only person I know that always sees the best in others. I have never heard her say a single bad word about anyone.”
Her words affected Darcy more than they intended.
The guilt made him avert his eyes, as he remembered that he had never said a single nice word about Jane Bennet.
Except that she was beautiful – which anyone would have noticed.
And that she smiled too much. He had been so unfair that he had turned even a positive trait into a censure.
“Your loyalty to your sister is impressive. I am sure your presence has helped her recovery,” was all he could say.
“You are too kind but I deserve no praise. I would do anything for any of my sisters. I hope Jane improves enough that we can return to Longbourn tomorrow or the day after tomorrow–at the latest. I am sure everybody will be relieved once we are gone,” she uttered.
Again, he did not miss her meaning and his discomfort increased. “Your parents and sisters must have been worried. I imagine they will be happy to have you home,” he replied.
She noticed his attempt to dismiss her previous comment and her amusement grew. At least he was honest and did not try to deceive her with some polite denial. But she needed to take some small revenge, so she continued.
“I sense Mr. Bingley is the only one who will regret our leaving. He is such a pleasant, amiable gentleman.”
He showed no emotion when he answered, “Bingley is everybody’s favourite, and a worthy man.”
“How kind of you to speak so nicely of him.”
“It is nothing but the truth. I wish only the best for him.”
Elizabeth frowned and her eyes searched his. “If he is as you describe him, I am sure he knows what is best for him and how to grant himself a happy life.”
The silent fight began and lasted through a few long moments of locked gazes.
“Or do you not trust your friend’s judgement, Mr. Darcy?” she daringly challenged him.
He avoided responding directly to the challenge. It was neither the time nor the place. And he knew he was not blameless. So he breathed deeply and replied.
“There are times when I might assume that, being older and much more experienced in the matters of life, I have a keener intuition about what is good or wrong. But when I am facing such a straight question as yours, it makes me consider the entire situation more thoughtfully.”
She comprehended the inferred response and was pleased with it.
“It is commendable for a man to analyse his actions carefully, in order to avoid mistakes that might hurt others.”
“I am glad you approve of something in me, Miss Bennet. Earlier tonight I feared there was no trait to garner your appreciation among my countless faults.”
His words–and his tone, lighter, lower, almost teasing–astounded Elizabeth and she tried to guess if he was jesting or not.
“That is not elegant of you, Mr. Darcy. Now you practically force me to emphasise that you possess many qualities to compensate for your faults–if you have any.”
His lips and eyes were narrowed and she thought she observed a trace of a smile threatening to spread across his face.
“I would never force you to do anything, Miss Bennet. That you should not doubt.”
His tone grew more serious again and she adjusted hers when she declared, “I do not doubt that, sir.”
For a moment they were silent, but they kept staring at each other; then their closeness affected him again and he rose, taking a few steps away from her.
“Miss Bennet, would you like a glass of port? Only a little would help, and to warm you I will put another log on the fire; do you not think it is cold in here?”
Elizabeth did not understand his nervousness and smiled, watching his discomfort.
“It is not cold, but another log would be pleasant, I believe. And a glass of wine too. Thank you.”
Darcy immediately stirred the fire, then hurried to fill the glasses and returned with them. Elizabeth took hers and withdrew her hand hastily, as their fingers brushed over each other. Her cheeks coloured and she sipped a little wine.
While they drank, they did not have to speak. But the silence grew heavier and Elizabeth became as much aware of Darcy’s presence nearby, alone in a chamber together in the middle of the night, as he was of hers. And the sensation was as powerful as it was unknown to her.
“I wonder about your valet…Perhaps he fell asleep?” she asked. The storm was rattling the windows and the wind’s roar was thrilling.
“I am sure he did not,” he replied, less convincingly than earlier. “He never falls asleep before I retire for the night. And he has been in my service since I was fifteen.”
A strange and appalling question suddenly crossed her mind. “So you have never spent the night in any chamber other than your own?”
Fortunately, he could not hear her thoughts, or else she would have died of shame. What on earth had come over her? What sort of reflection was that? Had she lost her mind from the wine?
Flustered, struggling to smile and to sound composed, she finally spoke.
“Then let us hope that tonight is not the exception. It must be close to midnight.”
“Yes, it is past midnight,” he confirmed. “And there are only three logs left.”
“The candles are also nearly burned down. Could we find others?”