Chapter 3 #3
“Miss Bennet, I beg you would stop. I am deeply saddened that you were given information that was not meant to be revealed. And I am a little disappointed. I trusted Mr and Mrs Gardiner’s discretion…”
“I beg you—do not blame my aunt. It was Lydia who told me about your presence at her wedding and about her meeting you several times. And from that moment on, I had no peace until I discovered the entire truth. I may say I forced my aunt to tell me, and I am pleased with my success as it allows me to offer you at least my deepest gratitude—”
“Miss Bennet, receiving your gratitude is what I feared the most. I did nothing but my duty. It was my fault, my mistaken pride that allowed Wickham the liberty to deceive young ladies who trusted his appearance of goodness. If I had exposed him earlier, if I had told the truth... It pains me that Miss Lydia will not be happy with him, and that leaves me with the disappointment that what I did was not enough…”
“Sir, you are too severe upon yourself. How can you not see that you have saved our family? Without you, Lydia would not have been found in time, and she certainly would not be married now. And her unworthy husband would not have had employment without your help. Words cannot express how grateful I am, and if my family knew, they would certainly join me in thanking you.”
Darcy hesitated a moment before continuing with increased uneasiness. “Is Mr Bennet aware of this situation? His questions seemed to imply that.”
“No—this matter was never discussed with my father openly, but he might suspect something. He was worried about my uncle paying such a large sum for Mr Wickham’s debts; then he became intrigued by the obvious closeness between you and my relatives.
As happened with me, my father greatly misjudged your character when he last met you, and the notion of your visiting a family near Cheapside might be too much. ”
She attempted to lighten her tone and add a trace of mockery to their distressing discussion, but his countenance remained severe.
“I am relieved that he was not told the truth. Your father judged my character based on my own manners; if he misjudged me, I am to blame.”
“You are too hasty in blaming yourself and too reluctant to accept our gratitude. However, I insist on thanking you, and if you wish to keep the secret from my father, I accept your choice. But only if you accept my attempt to thank you—twice.” She continued to smile, but her eyes became heavy with tears.
His face softened and warmed. “If you wish to thank me, do it only on your behalf. If there was an inducement beyond my own duty, certainly it was related to you alone. I shall not deny that my wish of seeing you unburdened of the deep sadness I witnessed at the Lambton Inn urged me to Town that very evening. But for me, perfect thanks would be never to discuss these circumstances again. As I said, your gratitude is neither wanted nor necessary.”
He took a step closer. Her heart beat rapidly, and she forgot to breathe. His expression changed, and his eyes searched hers with obvious concern, deepening into her soul. She waited. He wished to say more; she could see that. She hoped and prayed that he would.
When the wind blew through her hair, she realised her bonnet was in her hand. The coldness of the air and the heat inside fought for control of her body and her heart. She waited. He moved closer.
“Miss Bennet, now it is I who can go no longer without speaking. You are too generous to trifle with me…”
One step closer, the wind blew stronger—and they were startled by a horse whinnying behind them, a dog barking, and a cheerful voice shattering the peaceful surroundings.
“Darcy, here you are! I wondered when I might find you; your dog ran like crazy the moment I released him. Why on earth did you lock him in the barn? Oh, Miss Bennet! What a surprise. Are you well, I hope?”
Elizabeth smiled in embarrassment as she tried to put on her bonnet. “I am very well, thank you. I usually take this path when I need a little exercise. And today I happened to meet Mr Darcy.”
“Oh. I see. Very well…so what are you doing now?”
Darcy cleared his throat, glancing at Elizabeth. “I offered to accompany Miss Bennet back to Longbourn. We were about to return.”
Bingley dismounted and joined them.
“Good, good…I shall join you. I know it is very early, so we shall not disturb your family before breakfast. But I was in no disposition to stay at home, especially since Darcy was not there.”
“My family will be happy to have you stay for breakfast, sir,” she offered kindly, and Bingley’s smile widened.
“Good—excellent.”
After some minutes, Elizabeth’s heart finally returned to its steady beat.
Countless questions were spinning in her mind: What was he about to say?
How could Mr Bingley have such poor timing?
Might they find another moment of privacy later—maybe tomorrow morning at the same spot?
Would he remember that she said it was her favourite path?
As they walked together with Elizabeth in the middle, she did not look at Darcy—nor did he address her directly—but his strong presence was overwhelming.
A few steps later, the dog wriggled around them, and Elizabeth’s foot almost slipped. Both gentlemen hurried to offer their support, but she thought not an instant before taking Darcy’s arm. She blushed, ashamed by her gesture, and wondered what her companions would think of her.
She had never held his arm before. He did take her hand when they danced, and then at Pemberley when he helped her into the carriage, then at the inn as she cried over Lydia.
But the strength she sensed through his thick winter coat made her shiver.
And then, her hand warmed with a most delicious feeling when his large palm covered it gently.
They still had not looked at or spoken to each other since Bingley’s arrival, but suddenly, words appeared useless.
“Miss Bennet, would you not prefer to ride? The ground is slippery, and it is getting rather cold. I can offer you my horse, and I shall hold the reins,” Bingley asked kindly.
Elizabeth laughed nervously, all her thoughts centred on the spot where Darcy’s palm covered her hand.
“I am not a good rider, sir. Jane excels at it, but I am fonder of walking. And on slippery ground, I prefer to trust my own feet rather than those of a horse. But I thank you for your care nevertheless.”
“You must not worry. I shall take care of Miss Elizabeth,” Darcy said suddenly, and his voice made her quiver.
“I am glad,” Bingley replied joyfully. “Very glad indeed. I could wish for nothing more than to know you two have overcome your past misunderstandings. There is no one I value more than Darcy, and I know how close Jane is to you, Miss Elizabeth. If you two could be friends, it would make both Jane and me very happy.”
A stolen glance was exchanged between Elizabeth and Darcy before he responded.
“Of that, you may be certain, Bingley. I hope Miss Elizabeth has forgotten and forgiven all my bad behaviour and ill manners.”
“I have forgotten nothing, sir, and there was nothing to forgive,” Elizabeth replied. “On closer examination, neither of our behaviour was beyond reproach. But I trust we both have gained in civility and wisdom since then.”
After another stolen glance and matching smiles, they heard Bingley’s slightly worried voice.
“Miss Elizabeth, speaking of forgiveness, do you think Jane has forgiven my outrageous departure and the torment she had to bear because of my foolishness? I know I do not deserve her…”
Elizabeth looked at him and smiled. “If you still doubt Jane’s feelings, indeed you do not deserve her, Mr Bingley. I trust that is not the case.”
“Oh no, I do not doubt it, I just…I cannot believe I deserve such happiness. I am such a fool, am I not?”
“That is a question that best remains unanswered,” Darcy concluded, laughing.
Soon Elizabeth’s laughter joined his, and the mere gesture of shared amusement increased her sense of their closeness. To hide her own apprehension, she offered some comfort to her future brother.
“You most certainly deserve all the happiness that you will build in your marriage, Mr Bingley. Despite some past disturbances, you will find your way toward felicity.”
“Yes, yes…Miss Elizabeth, may I dare ask…forgive me for this delicate inquiry…is Jane troubled because of Louisa and Caroline? I know sometimes they…I do not want her to be distressed…”
“Mr Bingley, I am sure you will do everything in your power to avoid any distress for my dear Jane. She is truly the most wonderful person, and she deserves nothing less,” Elizabeth answered with some hesitation.
“Bingley, your wife will be the mistress of the house. Whoever disturbs her in any way should not be allowed to remain. I believe it is as simple as that,” Darcy said, and again Elizabeth felt the pressure of his palm on her hand increasing.
“It is simple indeed,” Bingley responded, suddenly appearing lost in his thoughts.
For a few moments, there was silence as their steps brought them closer to Longbourn. Elizabeth’s thoughts slowly became less disturbing as her trust returned. He would find a way to tell her what he started; she was certain of that. His words, his glances, his warmth, his touches—all confirmed it.
But questions remained, as well as the hopes and fears.
The main gate of the house was before them, and she still held his arm tightly. His palm still covered her hand with the protective warmth of his strong fingers. She could not leave nor let him depart.
“Mr Bingley, Mr Darcy, would you please come in? I am sure breakfast will be more pleasant with your company.”
Their acceptance came eagerly, so their steps continued. A servant took the horses and the dog, and they entered the main yard, her hand still on his, his presence still close to her.
The family must surely see them by now, so she knew she had to withdraw her hand. But she did not.
It was Darcy who slowly released her, gently lifting his palm then lowering his arm. She felt suddenly cold and lonely although he remained beside her.
They finally entered, and the din of voices startled them. Jane immediately arrived to greet them, followed by the Gardiner children. The dining room was full and noisy, and the guests were received with joy while Mrs Bennet asked Elizabeth where she had been and where she found the gentlemen.
Food was enjoyed, conversation flowed, and opinions were shared.
The only intimacies Elizabeth and Darcy could share were glances and tentative smiles.
His statement would be left unfinished, at least for that day.
She would have to practice patience so her mind might keep her heart under good regulation.
There was time for neither privacy nor conversation—Elizabeth knew that.
And her thoughts became certainty a few hours later when two large carriages stopped in front of the house and more unexpected guests stopped on their way to Netherfield.