Chapter 12
“This is…how? I never imagined…what happened? When did you arrive?”
He took a step forward, and his image became clearer in the dark chamber. His face was almost crimson, and fatigue shadowed his eyes. His hair was dishevelled by the wind and snow. Is he cold? she wondered, fighting a desire to embrace him.
“You must not be afraid,” he said, misled by her astonishment. “I am here with your father’s permission. I arrived earlier by the back door, and Mr Bennet kindly offered me a drink. We talked briefly, and he granted me the privilege of speaking to his favourite daughter alone.”
His husky voice was softened by the smile that touched his lips and eyes.
“I am never afraid of you, sir. I am…it is good to see you. I was just…” she whispered, dumbfounded. “It is just that I thought you were with Miss De Bourgh. Is she well? Did you travel in this blizzard? It must be dangerous on the road—”
“My cousin Anne is safe in my uncle’s house. She was very ill indeed and desired to move to London with our relatives, where she is slowly recovering. As she is adequately cared for, I had no reason to delay. I made Bingley a promise, and I could not break it.”
“Yes…I am glad Miss De Bourgh is better. Charles will be so happy to see you! Does he know you are here?”
“Nobody knows I am here except your father…and you. I could not allow anything to interfere again or deter me from the main purpose of my hasty return. I had another promise to keep—one that I had no chance to express—to someone infinitely more important to me than Bingley. No blizzard could have kept me away. I hope—I trust—my meaning is clear.”
The room seemed to shrink around her, and it felt as warm as the hottest summer day. She struggled to breathe as she bit her lips, which would not obey her with an answer.
From inches away, he stretched out his hands to her, silently asking for hers, and she willingly offered them. Her trembling fingers found comfort as his strong palms closed around them.
“May I dare speak further?”
“Yes…yes, please.”
“Then I should better ask: Did you not feel my wordless promise, Miss Bennet?”
“I did…but so many feelings overwhelmed me that I did not know which to trust more. I knew it was duty that called you—that you have to do what your honour demands. And I feared…”
“You feared…?” He slowly lifted her hands to his lips and gently pressed a kiss upon them.
“Did you doubt that I would return to speak openly of what was long overdue—of what my feelings betrayed months ago? That I would miss the chance of calling you ‘my Elizabeth’? That I would waste the blessing of a lifetime of happiness? That family duty or a blizzard could stop me?”
She laughed from restrained emotion, and tears fell freely on her cheeks.
“I confess I did. My heart’s voice was powerful enough, and I dared guess what you wanted to tell me from the day Charles interrupted us at Oakham Mount.
But so many things have happened since then, and fate seemed against us, not allowing a moment of privacy.
I should have known better—I did know—and I sensed it.
But in spite of every endeavour, I found it impossible to conquer my disbelief. ”
He moved closer, bringing their entwined hands to the place where both their hearts beat in unison.
His hands released hers as his thumbs wiped her tears and tenderly caressed her face.
She wondered whether she would faint, but when his arms closed around her, her lost strength found renewal in his power.
“I have missed you so much, Elizabeth—much more than I can say.”
“Then say no more. I shall learn to see it…to feel it…”
“Do you still have doubts? Must I tell you with my weak and clumsy words how ardently I love and admire you, my dearest, loveliest Elizabeth? How everything I felt for you last April has grown so much stronger and deeper that it frightens me? That my heart, my mind, my life are as nothing when we are apart? That I must beg you to complete me by never leaving my arms again?”
“Yes, you do have to tell me—again and again,” she answered, her own hands daring to touch his handsome face.
“Only then will I have the courage to confess that I, too, have learned the meaning of ardent love. That my mind, my body, and my soul have not rested since I left Pemberley. That pain, regret, and sorrow filled every part of my heart not filled with my love for you. I wish to throw away those dread feelings forever. It is time…”
“Yes, it is time, my love.”
His face moved towards her, and his warm breath caressed her skin. His lips brushed the corner of her mouth, and she sighed with delightful expectation. A trace of soft kisses tantalized her jaw until they reached her ear. Soft whispers sent chills down her spine.
“Did I ask whether you would do me the honour of becoming my wife?”
“You did not,” she responded as she again resisted a swoon.
“Must I?” he asked as his tender lips lowered towards hers. “Must I wait for your answer before kissing you?”
“No…there has been enough waiting—” she said, but her answer was sweetly crushed as their lips joined at last.
The taste she had long dreamed of was intoxicating, and she put her arms around his waist, seeking support against his chest. The heat of his body and the beat of his heart wrapped her in a storm of shivering warmth, and his gentle tenderness slowly became an urge to which she responded tentatively, shyly—astounded by the overwhelming senses that shattered her.
“I need to sit down,” she said.
“As do I,” he responded. Without releasing their embrace, they moved to sit on the couch. “I have so many things to tell you,” he continued, but his lips found hers, and words became useless.
Elizabeth leaned back on the couch, and her arms tightened around his neck.
The tenderness of the kisses soon became eager passion.
She did not know what to do but waited for him to teach her.
His hands shyly caressed her until they found bare skin—shoulders, neck, arms. His tongue tasted her lips, and she moaned in surprise and delight; her own lips parted for him, astonished at the sensations that his taste aroused in her.
“I am afraid to believe you are truly here,” she moaned. “I have imagined this so many times…”
“If I had known, I would not have wasted a single moment of these last months. But I hesitated. I waited to be sure. I was still uncertain about whether your feelings and desires had changed. I was afraid I might misunderstand you once again—that I might mistake your friendship for something more—or worse, that you would accept my proposal only in gratitude. So, I waited like a fool…”
“But surely, you must have seen the truth eventually.”
“I did—that morning Bingley came upon us. I truly hated him at that moment.” He laughed, kissing her hands.
“And then, I demanded myself to be patient and enjoy your company until the right moment should come. I thought there was no hurry. When the news came about Anne, I suspected it was my aunt’s scheme—and partially might have been—but Anne was truly ill. ”
“I was heartbroken when you left. I was afraid you would marry your cousin, and I wondered how I could bear such grief.”
“‘Heartbroken’ would barely describe my despair when I left, and my last image of you was being on the arm of Adam Godwin.”
“I know. I saw it in your pained expression. I wanted to tell you there was nothing to fear. You see, you doubted me too…”
“Never…well, yes, perhaps a little,” he admitted. “But all is well now.”
“All is well,” she repeated. “So…you told Papa that you wished to propose to me?”
“I had to; else, he would not have allowed me to see you alone at this hour. He took advantage of my agony, you know. He forced me to confess things I wished to keep private.”
“How so? I am very intrigued.”
“He asked—should one of his other daughters decide to elope with a scoundrel—whether I would pay his debts and purchase him a commission too.”
Elizabeth stared in disbelief. “He did not!”
”I am afraid he did. He took me completely by surprise as I was not aware he knew any details of that situation.”
“Neither my uncle nor I betrayed your secrecy when you insisted upon it. I strongly believe my family should know and express their gratitude for your generosity, but since you wished otherwise, we respected your desire. Papa suspected something and continually asked questions. In the end, I think he began to guess what he was not told. He is a smart man and knows how to discover what interests him.”
Darcy kissed her hands again. “He also can be rather cruel at times. His teasing borders on torture. I told him that I have enough trust in Miss Mary and Miss Catherine to hope such an incident would not occur.”
She laughed tearfully, and their foreheads touched. “I am deeply sorry for your torment. But you must be warned that I resemble my father in many ways.”
“I noticed that some time ago.”
“And you are still willing to bond yourself to me?”
“There is nothing in the world I want more, my dearest Elizabeth.”
“You are a brave man, Mr Darcy,” she answered as another long, passionate kiss reunited them.
“And what should we do know?” she inquired breathlessly some time later.
“I shall hurry to Netherfield. Bingley must be restless and terrified.”
“‘Terrified’? Is that not too strong a word?”
Darcy brushed his fingers over her cheeks, her eyebrows, along her jaw, and down to her throat.
His voice sounded husky and severe. “Not at all. There are few things more terrifying than the night before you finally marry the woman you have loved and desired for so many months. I am eager to feel it myself.”
“I always thought the excitement and fear of marriage were the bride’s privilege,” Elizabeth said, blushing through her smile. “It seems I am wrong about many things.”