Chapter Nine
Irina
“Who’s this?” Alexandra asks again when no one answers her. All the women at the table look around awkwardly, unsure of what to say.
Finally, Kira speaks. “This is Natasha… Maksim’s wife.”
The smile on Alexandra’s face drops. “Maksim? As in my Maksim?”
Kira scoffs. “He wasn’t your Maksim. You cheated on him and ended that relationship.”
“All because he refused to get married. And now you tell me he’s married?”
“You didn’t hear the news, sweetie?” Sherry asks, squeezing Alexandra’s hand, like she’s the one who needs comforting when I’m the one who had to marry a total stranger.
“Clearly not. I’ve been traveling around Europe this past month.”
“They got married less than a week ago,” Margaery says. “Some short honeymoon they had.”
I flush. At least Kira shoots a glare at Margaery. It’s nice knowing someone is on my side.
“What Natasha and my brother do is their business and none of our own,” Kira announces. “Let’s just drop it.”
Alexandra looks me over like I’m gum under her shoe. I’ve never had anyone look at me like this. Not even my father when he would be angry with me. “Why did he choose you? I didn’t even know Maksim was dating anyone.”
“It was an arranged marriage,” I answer after a moment of deafening silence. “For peace.”
“Ah. So Maksim didn’t marry you for love then. He was forced into it. That makes more sense. Because the Maksim I know would never marry anyone. We dated for years and he just refused to marry me.”
“That’s because you’re drama,” Kira says.
Alexandra shoots her a mean side-eye. “No. It was because Maksim is not the kind of man who can ever stay loyal. I only cheated on him because he cheated on me first.”
I duck my chin. This is the last sort of news I want to hear. The fact that Maksim might cheat on me hurts me to my soul. I know our marriage was one neither one of us wanted but it’s still something we have to respect. If Maksim can’t do that…
“I suggest we change the topic,” Irina says. “I didn’t have the best experience with one of my husband’s past girlfriends. Maksim and Natasha are married now. That’s final. I say we move on.”
Alexandra huffs and storms away in her high heels that only serve to make her look more like a goddess. I only feel small and plain.
“Good riddance,” Kira mutters before grabbing one of the small sandwiches off the table and popping it into her mouth. “She was so annoying. I never liked her.”
“Why not?” I ask.
“She’s just a snob.”
“And you aren’t?” Sherry asks, making the other women laugh. “Kira honey, you’re such a snob. Your father gives you everything in the world.”
“I’m spoiled. Not a snob. There’s a difference.” Kira looks at me more closely. “Hey. Natasha. Are you ok? You look like you might cry.”
“Yeah, don’t let that girl get the best of you,” Sherry adds. “She’s just jealous she couldn’t secure herself a man like Maksim. But you got him, honey.”
“But how do I keep him?” If I even want Maksim. He still frightens me and yet I desperately want him to choose me. None of it makes sense.
“Well, you know what men like,” Margaery says, wagging her eyebrows as she takes a sip of her tea.
I frown. “No.”
She coughs on her tea, spilling it on the table.
“Margaery, please,” Sherry says.
Margaery gives Sherry a glare before turning to me. “Men like to feel powerful. They like to be in control. And they definitely want sex. So as long as you give that to your husband, he won’t look in another woman’s direction.”
“But Maksim and I –,” I stop, realizing what I was about to say.
All the women look at me with curiosity.
“But you had a honeymoon,” Kira says like it should be obvious but none of this is obvious to me.
“We… had a wedding night where we…” I lie. I can’t risk my father finding out that Maksim and I have never had sex.
The other women nod in encouragement.
“But I didn’t like it.”
Sherry huffs. “Then clearly he did something wrong. I’m assuming you were a virgin, honey.”
“Yes.”
“Then Maksim should have made it good for you. I suggest you try again. Margaery isn’t wrong. Sex can make a relationship stronger. If you want to keep your husband then keep him satisfied. Make it work.”
“Make it work,” I murmur. I tried giving Maksim my body on our wedding night and failed. Now I know what he’s capable of and I’m scared of him. Can I really try to give him my body again?
I have to make this marriage work for the sake of peace. So I’ll do whatever I have to.
After Kira drops me off back at Maksim’s apartment – well mine now, I guess – I pace around the living room until I hear the lock in the door click open.
I rush into the bedroom. My father had our maid pack me a lot of skimpy nightgowns for my new marriage. I quickly put one of them on and lay down on the bed. The nightgown doesn’t leave much to the imagination.
I can do this, I remind myself. I have to. If I want to keep Maksim loyal. I will put my fears aside and make this work. I will make him want me even if I’m not sure I want him.
I’m waiting for Maksim to appear in our bedroom but he doesn’t. He walks around the house for a bit before going into a far off room and shutting the door. His office, I’m guessing.
My heart only beats faster as I wait. How long will it take him to come find me? There’s no way I can go to him.
After waiting for thirty minutes, I finally hear Maksim’s footsteps approach the bedroom. He stops in the doorway when he sees me.
“Natasha? What are you doing?”
I keep my eyes glued to the ceiling. “I was waiting for you.”
“For me? For… what?”
“We never actually had sex. So I thought we should. We need to do our duty.” My hands are clamped around my stomach. I can do this.
Slowly, Maksim comes into the room and gazes down at me. There’s a softness to his features I’ve never seen before. “You still look just as afraid as you did the night of our wedding. You don’t want to do this so why are you offering yourself to me?”
“We have to do our duty.”
“We have time to get there. I mean, hell, we’ve been married less than a week. We can wait a little bit longer if that’s what you need.”
“But then you’ll end up cheating on me like you did Alexandra and then my father will be angry and none of this will go right.”
He furrows his brow. “Alexandra? What are you talking about?”
“She cheated on you because you cheated on her. You couldn’t commit to marriage. You were forced into this marriage with me. Clearly, you don’t want me. But if I give myself to you, then you will. So I’m doing that.”
“Where did you meet Alexandra?”
“Kira took me to a ladies’ function as she called it.”
Maksim rolls his eyes at the mention of his sister before he sits down on the edge of the bed. “Alexandra is my ex because I never loved her. That’s why I didn’t commit to her. It had nothing to do with cheating. We just weren’t made for each other.”
“Neither are we,” I say, my heart rate spiking. “We can’t even get on the same page.”
“I don’t want you giving yourself over to me out of desperation like you’re worried I’m going to leave you.
I know what this marriage entails. I know your father is going to have my head if I cheat on you.
I’m not stupid, Natasha. I’ve been in this world for a long time now.
Don’t worry about my ex-girlfriend. I haven’t thought about Alexandra since we broke up.
You don’t need to do… this.” He waves his hand towards me.
Relief floods through me while at the same time, another spike of fear hits me. “I’m worried we’ll never be able to make this relationship work.”
Maksim sighs. “I know. I’m worried too. But doing this isn’t going to help. I only want you to give yourself over to me if you really want it.”
“Do you want me?” I whisper, sitting up and wrapping my arms around myself. The nightgown is too skimpy now. Too on display.
His eyes roam over me and darken. “I told you before, Natasha, that I think you’re beautiful. I would love to have sex with you. But I don’t want it when you clearly don’t want it.”
“You make me scared.”
“I know,” he says in a defeated tone, hanging his head for a moment. “All I can do is show you that you don’t have to be afraid of me. I hope this helps. If I were to take you against your will, then I would be someone you had to be afraid of. But I won’t do that. I’m not interested in that.”
“But you’re a Bratva man. You need control. You need sex. That’s what the other women told me. You’ll leave me otherwise.”
“I know you’re innocent. Sheltered. But you can’t listen to just everything everybody tells you. Yes, I need sex… at some point. I’ll be honest. I’ve been missing it like fucking crazy. Would I love to go out and find someone to fuck? Yes.”
His brutal honesty makes me flush. “It hurts. Thinking of you with someone else.”
“But you don’t even like me. Why do you care?”
“It’s not about that. It’s about our marriage.
It’s about what it stands for. I might not love you but I still want you to act like my husband.
I didn’t like that you were drunk on our wedding day.
I didn’t like that you keep leaving me behind when all of this is so new to me.
I didn’t like that you… killed that man, even if it was to protect me.
But you’re still my husband. I want you to want me and not think this marriage is horrible. ”
“I do think this marriage is horrible because I think it’s horrible to force anyone to marry without love.
But I don’t think you’re horrible, Natasha.
I think you’re sweet and beautiful, even if you’re shy.
Even if I don’t fully understand you. Even if we can’t get on the same page.
It’s not you I hate. It’s being forced into a marriage that I hate.
But I know what’s at stake if we don’t make this work.
So you don’t need to worry. I’m not going to cheat on you.
But you have to learn to stop being so afraid of me if we’re going to make this work. There’s no other way.”
I know he’s right. All it would take is telling him about my father and how I feel and then maybe we’d have a breakthrough. I just need to learn to trust him.
Yet, when I work up the courage to say something, his phone rings, breaking the moment.
Maksim sighs and gets up from the bed, turning away from me.
Effectively ending what we could have had.
“Yes?” He’s quiet for a moment. “On it.” After hanging up, he looks at me with a guilty expression.
“I have more work to attend to. That Italian man I was telling you about, Enzo, just tried to steal one of our incoming shipments. I have to go deal with it. I’ll be back later. I promise.”
I nod and Maksim leaves, even though, for the first time since we married, I want him to stay with me.