11. Delilah
CHAPTER 11
Delilah
T he next day, I rolled over for another beautiful morning in Norjava. Opening the curtains to my balcony, I sighed as I saw more of Alexander’s offerings there. This time, instead of flowers or jewelry, he had laid out art supplies in multiple overflowing baskets. I flipped them open. Top-of-the-line paints, metallic pencils, gorgeous creamy paper. Even a huge easel with a gift-wrapped golden bow.
I gritted my teeth and yanked the baskets inside, setting my jaw as I dumped all their contents into a big plastic bag I would donate to a local school.
How the fuck was he getting onto my balcony anyway? Was he literally climbing the castle walls?
Alexander refused t o accept it was over.
I glanced down at my phone to see that Davies had texted.
If you need any help with anything else, just ask
I smiled. I didn’t know Roger’s coworker very well, but Davies was a handsome man, and seemed thoughtful and kind. Really he should be my type. When he heard about my split, he had been sympathetic without being pushy.
It would serve Alexander right if I started dating Davies. Show him that there were other men out there who did want me. I didn’t have to be reliant on him, at all.
Unfortunately, the thought of dating Davies didn’t particularly excite me, though I didn’t know why.
Instead of answering, I flicked over to Alexander’s text thread.
As usual, my phone was full of his regret and his pleas. Every morning, every night, all day long.
I love you, Delilah
I love you, Delilah
Forgive me
My husband had always been a big texter, always sending me funny gifs and memes, especially about the shows we watched together. But I refused to respond. If he didn’t want to be faithful to me, he didn’t get any of me. And that extended to a single solitary “ha ha” response. He didn’t get shit.
But today Alexander had sent me a picture from our wedding. It had been such a bright day and, even though I was wearing that heavy traditional garb, my head looking weighed down under the crown, my eyes were shining, my face radiant.
I had felt so lucky that day. There had been dozens of traditional doves flying around me, and not one had shit on my wedding gown.
The shit came later.
I would have worn anything, married him any way he wanted. That was how in love I had been. My lips tightened as I looked at the picture of my husband. A lock of his golden hair had fallen over his eye and he looked unbearably gorgeous with the huge megawatt smile, his arm tightly around me.
Had he cheated on me as I was getting my hair done? At the wedding reception? I looked almost unwillingly at his messages.
This was the best day of my life
I’m so fucking lucky you married me despite all these goddamn birds
I want to marry you all over again
This time with you getting to do it exactly how you want
I never want to be apart ever again
My heart gave a tiny, traitorous lurch, but I ignored it.
And I want a husband who doesn’t cheat on me, I thought.
Alexander wasn’t getting shit from me.
I silenced the phone and ordered breakfast in my bedroom, determined not to come out until everyone had gone about their work for the day.
But when I left, the first thing I saw was a gaggle of tourists rushing down the main hall, followed by a bunch of senior royal advisors and Ministers of Finance.
Walking down the hall to the main conference room, I was even more astonished. It looked like everyone important in the palace was here, dressed to the nines, as well as reporters, various local celebrities, and some extremely excited royalwatcher tourists.
I was the only one dressed casually, in jeans shorts and a T-shirt, but since I didn’t have to impress anyone anymore, I didn’t care.
“What’s going on?” I asked, watching as they set a microphone by the podium.
“Press conference,” a man I didn’t recognize said.
I rolled my eyes.
Was this when Alexander was going to announce our split?
Where even were Julia and Jewel? They usually organized things like this.
“Where’s Julia?” I asked.
“Got fired,” the staffer said. “Reassigned to doing PR out at the visitor center at the border.”
The visitor center? That was run by Matron Bushwick, a no-nonsense authoritarian in her 70s who absolutely refused to allow modernization of any kind. And I happened to know for a fact that there was zero indoors plumbing and only old-fashioned outhouses there.
Maybe this wasn’t about him accepting our split after all.
I turned hastily to leave, but I heard the King’s deep voice cut across the excited chatter in the conference room.
“Please stay, Delilah.”
Everyone turned around to look at the two of us, and I could see uncertain but avidly interested glances passed around.
Alexander was wearing a dark blue suit with a pale blue shirt and dark blue tie. His face looked drawn, dark circles standing out against his high cheekbones. He ran a hand through his golden blonde hair, shaking his shaggy locks. He needed a haircut.
“I’m not dressed for whatever this is,” I said.
“You look perfect,” he replied. “I don’t care what you wear. You’ve always looked perfect to me.”
Feeling so many eyes on me, I walked over reluctantly to a chair that was marked QUEEN.
Not for much longer.
“Who is this getting broadcast to?” I asked.
“The entire country,” he said.
Then the King walked up to the podium.
The noise quieted as soon as Alexander turned around, and I heard the click and whir that meant this press conference would be covered live all over the country and probably the world.
He stood poised there for a moment. All eyes on him. Even now I had to admit that he was drop-dead gorgeous. I was seated so close to the front that I saw the way a muscle throbbed in his jaw.
“Because I fucking screwed up in public, I want to apologize in public,” was how the King began his announcement.
The conference room was so profoundly silent all I could hear were the little noises of the camera running.
“My beloved Queen Delilah is planning on leaving at the end of the month and it’s entirely my fault. I made the biggest mistakes in my life in my first six months of marriage to my wife. And I don’t have a single excuse except that I was the lowest and most repulsive worm.”
He was clutching the podium so tightly that I could see the tendons standing out in his big hands.
“I loved her, but I cheated on her,” Alexander went on, enunciating his words clearly so that each one sliced into the dead silence. “I want to make it clear to the whole world that it was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done and I will never do it again.”
His throat seemed to work convulsively, while I felt rooted to the spot.
There were blank stares, a few sharp gasps, and a disbelieving scoff (from Libby).
I crossed my arms.
“The fact that she wants to leave me has completely shattered me,” Alexander said in a low voice, and I saw a muscle throb in his jaw. “I am a broken fucking man right now and looking back I can’t believe how stupid I was. I love my wife,” he went on, meeting my eyes and I felt my breath catch in my throat as his voice broke. He took a moment to tighten his mouth, looking down at the podium. The tendons in his strong hands flexed. “I only want a chance to prove myself to her.”
Then his eyes seemed to burn into mine. “I hope you forgive me, Delilah.”
“No,” I said coldly.
Maybe at one time I would have run away but I was done running.
“No, I do not forgive you.”
The King’s face seemed to crumple, and his hands gripped the podium so tightly I heard a crack as the wood broke under his fingers. Suddenly his eyes looked red-rimmed and shiny.
“No further questions,” he added in a jagged tone, although the reporters were all jumping up and talking over each other to get a microphone in his face.
Since these kinds of press conferences were usually reserved for a new tech announcement or economic news from the King, they were usually not attended by palace security, and Roger had to spread his wide arms and usher everybody out as they protested.
“Could anything change your mind, Queen Delilah?” one of them asked me excitedly, but Roger grabbed him by the collar and bodily hauled him from the room.
What was my response? I didn’t have a response. I didn’t know if anything could change my mind.
But I felt stunned. Alexander cultivated his image and the image of Norjava very carefully. Because of our history, beautiful buildings, and natural wonders, we were a hot tourist destination, and this was the King baring himself in front of the hungry piranhas of the press. There would be weeks of gossip and speculation, none of it flattering, and my rejection likely headline news.
My mother-in-law’s face looked frozen with horror. “You little bitch,” she hissed, and suddenly I didn’t want to stay to see everyone’s faces. I rushed into the adjoining room, which was for top palace officials only, and tried to catch my breath.
I was relieved that Libby was already there, making Magnus a cup of tea.
With a raised eyebrow, she handed a cup to me.
“Well, that was surprising,” she acknowledged. “What did you think of that?”
“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “I never thought he’d embarrass himself like that on live television. But that’s what he’s good at. Being charming. And I’ve already fallen for his words before.”
I flicked my phone open to see the headlines from the event getting blasted around the world already.
PLAYBOY KING DECLARES END TO HIS PLAYBOY WAYS
ALEXANDER TO STOP SCREWING SECRETARY
And, most embarrassingly,
ALEXANDER BEGS FOR FORGIVENESS FROM COLD ICE QUEEN WIFE
Magnus was looking out the palace window and stroking his long white beard as he watched Roger sweep all the press, excess cabinet ministers, and tourists out of the palace.
“And to think I assumed he’d just be arm candy,” Magnus said smugly as we watched Roger’s huge bulk gently but forcibly expel everyone from the castle.
I heard a door open behind me and my husband entered the room, striding over to me. Up close, he looked even paler, and he was clenching and releasing his fists convulsively. His chest seemed to be heaving, too, his throat moving, swallowing, over and over.
Alexander raised haunted, deep-shadowed eyes to me, and I could see him catch his breath, waiting for what I would say. Wanting me to forgive him, take him back.
Not a fucking chance.
“Please,” he whispered.
“Archbishop, isn’t this lack of morality really characteristic of our modern times?” I asked instead, turning to Magnus.
“It’s disgraceful, is what it is,” Magnus said with prompt disapproval.
“Shut up, Magnus,” Alexander said through gritted teeth.
I made sure to grab Magnus’ arm dramatically, throwing myself in front of him as if I thought Alexander was going to grab the Archbishop by the scruff of the neck and throw him from the palace.
“Not only an open adulterer, but also disrespectful of the church,” I said.
“Please, Delilah—” Alexander broke in. “Please, sweetheart—"
“St. Constance protect us,” Magnus added. “For our political leaders are full of sin.”
Alexander’s teeth gnashed audibly at this.
“It’s a good thing we are in good standing with St. Constance,” I said. “Maybe if she sends plagues, we’ll be spared. Those of us who attend church.”
“I know your church,” Alexander said irritably to Magnus, and I was interested to see high spots of color on his cut-glass cheekbones, and a muscle throbbing in his jaw. “it’s just an excuse to have a potluck.”
“How dare you!” Magnus said with outrage as Libby covered what looked like a smile on the sidelines. “We observe all of the ordinances and make the proper prayers beforehand.”
Alexander flicked his eyes between us. “If St. Constance is important to you,” he said eagerly. “I will come to every service.”
“St. Constance doesn’t like half-ass lukewarm husbands,” I said. “Those are exactly the kind of people she sends a plague of boils and blood to.”
In one shocking second, Alexander was on his knees in front of me, clutching my hand.
“ I will take those fucking plagues . Pray for some motherfucking boils, Archbishop! Because I will do anything to get you back, Delilah.”
“I do not pray for boils on demand,” Magnus said. “Pray for boils yourself.”
For a moment, I was tempted to believe the sincerity in my husband’s blue eyes, then I remembered how he had looked with Jewel up against the wall, over Julia on the bed, and I didn’t think those images would ever leave my mind.
“ No, ” I said, pulling my hand from his grip and walking away.
I was not going to fall for his charm.
Because that’s all that this was.
He’d go back to Julia and Jewel when he got bored.
Because it was apparently my day to run into everyone I was trying to avoid, I had barely gone halfway down to the next floor when Julia and Jewel cornered me in the hallway. They were both dressed in complementary-colored bright pink pantsuits with matching pink fascinators and hair nets, and they both looked pissed.
“You must be pretty proud of your little temper tantrum,” Julia spat at me.
“There was no temper tantrum,” I replied, shrugging.
I wasn’t threatened by them anymore because I could see them for what they were now. Just two thirsty desperate women.
“ I’m not worried,” Jewel snarled, blocking my path. “The King’ll be back when he’s bored of you. Because what could a sweet little mousy girl like you have to actually keep his attention? He’s not that into you.”
“Get out of my way, Jewel,” I shot at her, tapping my flip-flop clad foot impatiently. “The King was just in there begging for me to take him back on live television . It’s time to put on your big girl panties and accept he doesn’t give a shit about either of you. He’s just a lazy asshole who wanted a blowjob without having to get up from his desk. Stop embarrassing yourselves and find some other man’s knob to slobber over.”
“Why you little—bitch!” Jewel snarled at me. “You don’t deserve to be the Queen!”
“He must have married you out of pity!” Julia added, her face contorting with angry rage.
I heard a low noise behind me.
“Is this what’s been going on behind my fucking back?” Alexander growled. “My own goddamn staff disrespecting my wife? The Queen ?”
Julia and Jewel froze, their eyes wide and panicky.
“This is my fault,” he went on, making me jerk in surprise. “I am the one who didn’t make it clear that my wife is to be respected above anybody else in the palace. But that has changed and now I want to make things extremely fucking clear. Respecting my wife is a goddamn non-negotiable for working at Norjava Palace.”
Everyone in the vicinity was listening now, heads craning around corners, to hear what the King was saying, and I could see some very shocked expressions. Alexander was usually so easygoing. I guess this was something he didn’t feel easygoing about.
“Libby,” Alexander said. “Please accompany these women to the office where their desks will be emptied.”
“Yes, Your Highness,” Libby said, jumping to obey him faster than I’d ever seen her move before, giving me an extremely smug and pleased look.
She put one hand on Julia and one hand on Jewel, and dragged them both behind her by the collars as they yowled and complained.
Alexander strode over to the palace admin offices, the rest of us trying to keep up with his long strides, and when he got there he started ripping their stuff out of the desks and throwing it into boxes.
“The two of you are ordered to get the fuck out of the castle,” Alexander snarled, and I could feel him vibrating with anger, so near me that my skin tingled unwillingly at how close he was. I could feel him looming over me, hear the clench of his jaw. “Your reassignment at the visitor center under Matron Bushwick starts as of right now.”
“Not Matron Bushwick,” sobbed Julia. “She’s so mean. She won’t let us wear what we want.”
“Matron Bushwick hates me,” Jewel added. “She’ll make our lives miserable. We’ll have to clean up the dog poop on the visitor center lawns all day. Please please let me be the Queen instead!”
“Delilah is the only woman I have ever wanted to be my Queen,” Alexander said harshly. “No one else I have met has ever tempted me for one tiny second to make them my Queen instead. Now get the fuck out of here. I don’t want to see your faces again.”
The King motioned to Libby.
“See that they’re escorted out immediately,” he said in the coldest voice I’d ever heard.
“Certainly, Your Grace,” Libby said with a pleased look on her face and without further ado she dragged both women out crying.
There was still a profound silence in the hall and Alexander turned to the rest of his staff.
“The same thing will happen to anyone else I see or hear not treating Delilah with the respect she is due. Or anyone my wife tells me has pissed her off in the past. Now go back to work.”
They all left, darting nervous glances back at the King.
Alexander moved in front of me.
“How convenient,” I said snidely. “Now you’ll know where they are so you can easily move them back into the castle when I go.”
His eyes looked bright. “Delilah, I can’t even look at them without wanting to throw up. One night away from you was enough to convince me that I don’t ever want to lose you. And it’s been so many nights . Cheating on you was the biggest mistake of my life, and I’m doing everything I can to fix it.”
“You can’t just undo it,” I said flatly. “You can’t stop me picturing you being unfaithful.”
“I know I can’t,” he said, his voice sounding ripped and jagged. “I just want to convince you that I’ve changed.”