13. Dominic
13
DOMINIC
M y room illuminates quickly as the morning sun rises well past the horizon, shining on my eyes and waking me from sleep. Tearing myself away from the sheets of my bed, I sit up straight and kick my legs off the side of the mattress. The aftershock of all the pain and pleasure from last night hits me instantaneously like the worst hangover of my life.
I wipe my face with my hands, scrunching my eyes hidden behind my palms.
We didn’t talk about when we would actually see each other again, but part of me hoped I would’ve seen him after leaving the gym last night. I waited up most of the night, staring out from my window, hoping to catch a glimpse of him going past. I’m confident he would have gotten out of there okay; he is far too smart to have gotten caught, but I still never saw him.
I need to see him again. I need us to figure out what exactly we are.
Oh my god.
Never before have I worried about what I was to another person like this. I’ve never really cared about labels or exclusivity or even taking a relationship seriously before, but for some reason, I want to with Luca. For some reason, I need to make all of this even more complicated than it already is.
Suddenly I am not interested in even fucking anyone else, male or female.
Luca is already my enemy. He’s already my stepbrother. He’s already the person I have casual hookups with. Why do I want to make it messier? Why do I feel like I need to?
Shooting myself up on my feet, I fight off my dizziness and struggle to find my balance. Snatching at the odd sets of clothes dispersed around my room, I slowly piece together an outfit from a recently worn shirt, old pair of jeans, and my usual jacket.
I grab my watch and phone from my side desk and stuff the phone into my tight pocket then wrap the cold metal of the watch around my wrist. Looking down at it, I see the time. It’s well past eleven, closer to midday than morning.
My first class is probably getting out soon… Luca’s probably is too.
Striding toward the door, any thoughts of making it to any of my classes today have already vacated my head and been replaced with the idea of finding Luca and getting a straight conversation out of him.
Marching my way across campus, I head directly toward where I typically see him going to and from his classes at this time of day: the law building.
I can’t say I’m surprised that he’s studying such a subject; he’s always seen the type for it. I wouldn’t be shocked if I found out he’s taking law for the same reason I am taking business—our families are making us so we can use what we learn to exploit the system. It’s not like either of us need a college degree to get a job once we graduate; we’ve both been bred into a family business. It’s just the culture we’ve been raised in.
Thinking about everything now, I realize that our families aren’t really that different. I mean, sure, we go about our work in different ways—the Valentis take things slowly and seem overly anxious to get themselves into anything too quickly, while us Rossis tackle a problem head-on and get the job done quickly—however, we both care about our families and take our business seriously.
I think that similarity is what draws me to Luca like this and might be the same reason a relationship between any Valenti and Rossi will have a lot of bumps before it smooths out.
That’s why I want to talk to him, here and now. We’re confronting this all face-first and smashing through these roadblocks. We’re not going to get anywhere if we just stop the car and wait for some shortcut to turn up out of nowhere.
This time, when we catch each other’s eyes from across the square, neither of us is going to get to duck off and avoid a conversation. I’ll chase him down if I have to. Actually, that kind of sounds like fun.
I find the perfect spot to wait for Luca to get out of class. I don’t want to ambush him the second the doors open; even I know that wouldn’t be the right start to this chat. I want to give him the chance to talk to me on his own.
The hands on my watch reach their peak, all of them ticking into place and landing on twelve. Only seconds later, the doors to the lecture hall open and the stream of students come filing out. The large crowd begins to blur into one blob of students, each of them becoming seemingly indistinguishable from the last.
I bob my head around, trying my best to see over and around the front lines of the marching army for any sign of Luca coming out.
Where the hell is he?
Just as I begin to question coming here in the first place, my feet slowly shuffling back away from the oncoming swarm, I see him.
Luca, walking as one with the crowd, acting like he’s no different from any of the other students he is surrounded by. But he is. Seeing him so graceful amongst all of the others is like a single star in an empty night sky. Standing out like no one else could even hope to do.
I force myself to act casual and try not to look as if I came all of this way just to see him, even though I’m well aware there’s no other reason for me to be here.
Eventually, I catch his eye. Our stares cross from across the way, and the rest of the students fade from my peripheral and leave only Luca. I see his eyes dart around his surroundings, looking around for someone or something else near him that I could be waiting for. In real time, I watch as the realization grows across his face that there’s only him for me.
Cutting his way through the crowd, Luca pushes past everyone in his way to get to me. I stand in place off to the side of the horde’s path, waiting for him to get to me .
“What are you doing here?” Luca asks in a hushed tone as he steps toward me.
“Well, I—” I pause, noticing him scanning all around us. It takes me a moment to understand why. Even though we’re stepbrothers and are forced to coexist at family gatherings and other such events, it hasn’t even been a week since we hated each other’s guts and would start fights on sight. So the two of us choosing to socialize in public would catch the attention of the wrong crowd. “I wanted to talk.” I lower my voice.
“Is everything okay?” he asks, a slight panic underlining his words.
“Yes, everything’s okay…” I hesitate, feeling embarrassed about what I’m about to say. “I just wanted to talk to you.”
“Oh,” Luca pulls back in surprise. “Sure, but we should probably go somewhere quieter,” he says as he scans around again. “Is my dorm okay?”
I give him a nod before he walks past me and makes a beeline toward his building, almost leaving me behind as if to act like we’re not together. It’s a smart move, but it still digs deep into my pride.
Reaching the door to his room, Luca stuffs me through the cracked opening like he’s smuggling in a convict. Slamming the door shut behind us, he gestures for me to take a seat on his bed as he keeps his back turned for a moment to compose himself.
Slumping down, I look around at his bedroom, noticing the small details that he’s meticulously placed that speak volumes about him that must have faded from his consciousness a long time ago. Almost every item is placed to line up perfectly with the one beside it, all exactly level with whatever edge or corner nearest to it. Not a single thing is out of place; no clothes, shoes, accessories, or anything that wouldn’t be needed at a moment's notice is even in sight. If it wasn’t for the closets and cupboards around the confined dorm room, someone could easily be convinced he didn’t own anything other than what he’s wearing.
The entire room is decorated in vibrant monochrome shades ranging vastly from black and dark gray all the way to light gray and white .
Meticulous, dull, and painstakingly deliberate. This could only be Luca’s room.
Luca pulls his jacket off of his shoulders, places it directly on a coat hanger, and slots it neatly into his closet.
“So, uh, what did you want to talk about?” Luca asks as he sits down beside me on the bed, crossing his leg neatly over the other.
“I didn’t see you get out of there last night. I wanted to make sure you were okay,” I respond. This feels pathetic.
“Oh.” He seems caught off guard. “Was that really all you wanted?”
My brows narrow, and I look away from him.
“Well, I’m all good, Dominic. Are you going to run off now?”
“That’s your move, not mine.” I don’t even know if these words are meant to hurt.
He ignores my impulsive dig. “So, there’s something else you want?”
Looking at him, I see the slight gap in his collar exposing his neck. The call of his skin is almost irresistible to me. I grab the base of my shirt and start to tug it upward .
Luca grabs my hand to stop me from taking it off. “I’m serious.”
Pulling my hand away, I ball it up into a fist by my side. “What is this?”
“What do you mean? You’re the one who came here,” he fires back.
I stand up, flailing my arms in frustration. “I’m not talking about this,” I ramble while gesturing to the entirety of the room. “I mean this. ” I point between myself and Luca. “What is this?”
“Uh,” he drones, at a loss for words. “What do you want it to be?”
“That’s a cop-out answer. I’m being serious here,” I say, shutting him down.
He wrings his hands. “I don’t know,” Luca mumbles. “I don’t know how to explain it.”
Pacing the floor of his room, I can’t keep myself still as my mind races. I don’t even know how to explain this, but one of us needs to figure out how to define this. “Look, if this is something just casual, then we need to just stop,” I blurt out.
Luca stays quiet, thinking over his words carefully. “You’re right,” he begins. “If we’re just fooling around with each other, then that’s just stupid. We could mess up a lot of things.”
I can’t stop thinking about being buried to the hilt in his ass. Or mouth. Either way felt exquisite.
“Exactly.” I manage to lock myself into place, but my foot taps rapidly against the wood floor. “So is that all this is, then?”
“That’s what it seems like so far,” he replies. “We meet up, get in a fight, and then… you know.”
“You’re right. That’s all it’s been so far.”
“So far?” “What?” I exclaim. “You said so far, so I said so far.”
“Does that mean you want this to be more?”“Do you?” I fire back.
“I asked first,” he rebuttals.
“Well, I started this whole conversation,” I assert.
“Fine.” He sighs, once again taking his time again to piece together his response. Every second that crawls past feels like an eternity; each slight tick of my watch seems hours apart. “I guess I wouldn’t be against it.”
“Okay…”
“Well, come on, it’s your turn,” he declares .
“I guess I wouldn’t be against it either,” I admit.
We both fall silent, looking at each other awkwardly, not wanting to be the next to speak. Both of us eye up the other to break the silence.
“You know that if something were to happen, there’s a good chance it ends badly.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” I shout. “Do you think I want all of this?”
“What happened to you not being against it?” “I’m still not, but that’s the problem. All of this isn’t a choice for me. I’ve tried to fight it, but you just keep coming back to my head and I can’t stop it,” I rant. “I want to forget you, but I just can’t do it.”
I fall back down onto the bed, my body feeling almost limp from my frustration.
“I get it…” Luca begins. “I hated you since I met you. Hell, part of me still does, but when I see you…when we’re alone, there’s a much louder part of my brain that won’t stop thinking about you. And that part, I can’t shut up.”
He looks at me, and his eyes are so earnest that I know that he feels the same way that I do. That same Luca from the wedding who would have torn me apart for not knowing every single thing he does feels the same way.
And there’s something so comforting in what we both don’t know.
Letting out a short chuckle, a slight smirk grows across my face.
“What is it?” he challenges.
“It’s nothing.” “No, what’s so funny?” Luca probes again.
“We finally agree on something.” I laugh again. This time, I can’t seem to cut it short, and it just devolves all on its own.
“Shut up,” Luca says while starting to giggle himself. Leaning toward me, he plants a kiss on my lips. The shock that it sends through my body is different from any other time we’ve kissed. Unlike before, there is no raw passion or heat-of-the-moment decision making; there is only the care we have for each other in a moment of calm intimacy where there is no expectation for more.
When he pulls away from me, our lips part and his face falls back into the stupid smile that I just love to see on his face.
“I know everything that we’re doing is dangerous, but I still want to see you again,” I confess.
“I don’t want to stop seeing you either, but we need to be smart about this. We can’t be seen together like we’re…together. You can’t wait for me outside of class, and I can’t come around to your dorm in the middle of the day.”
“What do you suggest then?”
“If we’re going to keep seeing each other, it can’t be like this.” Luca gestures around his room. “We’ll have to sneak around, hide everything we do together, and make sure no one else knows.” Luca changes track for a second as another thought pops into his head. “No one else knows about what we’ve done, right?”
He seems paranoid, like there’s some part of this he’s not telling me.
“No, I haven’t told anyone,” I lie, knowing that Angelo already managed to pull this thread out of me.
“Good.” He sighs. “Because you won’t be able to. Is that something you’ll be okay with?”
His question hits me hard, harder than any of the hits I took last night. All of this either has to be some twisted secret, an elaborate lie, or it can be nothing more.
“I think it’s worth it,” I tell him, not lying at all.