Chapter 30
“Can I help you?” he finally asks. Yet again, my disguise holds.
“Is this any way to greet an old friend?” I can’t stop a grin.
“Excuse me?” His brow furrows.
“Ten stones to the left of the back door of the original club. Forgot to wrap the supplies in oilcloth once and the brushes molded. Scolded for weeks.” It’s a reference to a hiding spot at the old club, used to get supplies to Arcanists who couldn’t risk coming into the club itself.
His eyebrows furrow slightly, but he doesn’t say anything. Twino is skeptical and cautious to the last.
“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He steps backward, into his home, angling to put the door between us. “Have a nice day.”
Kaelis’s arm reaches around me, stopping the door with a palm. He lifts his chin slightly, showing his face.
Twino’s mouth drops open slightly. “Fucking Twenty…” He looks back to me.
It’s all too much to be chance: Someone could’ve overheard our special knock.
The information about the club could’ve been happened upon—after all, others besides me did know it.
But Kaelis being at my side completes the picture.
I drop my voice to drive the point home, trying to make it sound as much as I can like my old self. “Bristara never did like it when you swore.”
“You…” His words are lost. “What did you do to yourself?”
I stand a bit taller and grin more broadly, now immensely satisfied at my decision to remake myself. My new appearance is passing every test with flying colors. I’d bet even Ravin wouldn’t recognize me. “Impressed?”
Twino reaches out, running his hand along my jawline, narrowing his dark brown eyes. “It’s not an illusion…”
“You couldn’t tell that just by looking?”
“I didn’t believe it.” Worry competes with awe. He’s too smart not to suspect what this means I endured.
My grin relaxes into a gentler, more reassuring smile. My friend doesn’t need to worry for me. Not now. “You should let us in before your neighbors begin gossiping.”
“Of course.” He ushers us through the doorway.
“Cozy” is the first word that comes to mind as we enter the foyer.
The warm wooden floors are worn from past owners to pale tracks that lead to and from rooms, most heavily trafficked toward the back, where a door of iron and glass is open to a tiled kitchen beyond.
Pegs stick out of limewashed walls behind the door, where Kaelis now hangs his coat.
Stairs are lined with a runner that brings in a splash of color in a brilliant pattern of reds and pinks that’s distinctly Clan Lovers.
It’s sparse, plain by the standards of most of the well-to-do that live in this neighborhood. But a worthy foundation for a new life.
There is a quiet guilt that swims through me at the notion that a part of me, however small, would’ve ever wanted anything else for them. Even if it means they are no longer as present in my life.
“Ren—” Twino begins to say.
He’s interrupted by a blur of golden fur and scratching claws. The dog rockets itself toward us, bounding out of the kitchen. His tongue lolls in his open mouth that honestly looks like a smile.
But the second he lays eyes on me, the creature skids to a halt, whole body suddenly rigid and hair standing on end. A low growl rumbles from his throat.
“Gilly, this is a friend.” Twino steps closer to me, resting a hand on my shoulder. He says to me, “Sorry, he’s never done this before.” As if that’s supposed to make me feel better…It’s like the animal can smell the blood on my hands and knows I don’t quite belong in a place so peaceful.
Then the dog shifts his gaze to Kaelis and his entire demeanor transforms. Ears perk up, tail wags again. He trots over and sniffs Kaelis’s shins before sitting with eager eyes.
Of. Course. He. Does.
“Nice to meet you, Gilly.” Kaelis crouches and scratches the dog behind his ears.
“Do you even like dogs, Mister Cat Owner?” I’m wounded over a ball of golden fluff. I can’t help it.
“I am fond of any creature that demonstrates intelligence and excellent judgment.” Kaelis is so smug I’m surprised he doesn’t collapse under the weight of it filling the air around him.
“He has a cat?” Twino blinks at my side. His remark goes ignored.
“I can’t believe you.” I sigh and shake my head, at both dog and man.
“Consider it payback for stealing my cat,” Kaelis says in a way that tells me he is definitely not over Priss liking me best.
“He has a cat and you stole it?” Twino now looks between us.
“What’s going on?” Ren stands at the entry to the kitchen, flour-dusted apron tied at his neck and waist. His eyes do little more than drift over me, but they stick on Kaelis. He speaks flatly: “You.”
“Not exactly the warmest welcome.” Kaelis straightens away from Gilly.
“Out.” Ren points to the door with a wooden spoon that I think he has half a mind to throw at Kaelis’s head.
“Excuse me?” The prince’s composure nearly falls with his surprise.
“Whatever is going on, we want none of it. We’re retired.
We’re baking cookies. We’re drinking tea on the terrace.
We read books now and actually get to the end because no one is here trying to get us to go on some crazy heist that damn near kills us.
” By the end the words are blurring together.
Ren shakes the spoon at the door. “Out.”
“Ren—” Twino starts.
“Don’t you ‘Ren’ me with your beautiful big brown puppy-dog eyes. You are almost as bad as him.” Ren’s spoon swings from Twino to the dog and back. “You said we were done. You promised.”
“I’m just here to visit,” I say calmly.
“Respectfully, I don’t even know you.” Ren doesn’t sound respectful in the slightest, and I fight a laugh.
“Yes, you do,” Twino says. “It’s Clara.”
Ren blinks. Mouth falling open and then closing. For a second I think he’s seen through my disguise. But then he says, “Twino, I’ve been telling you that you need to get your eyes checked.”
“No, it’s her, it really is her,” Twino emphasizes.
“If you’re really her, prove it.” Ren folds his arms, spoon still at the ready.
“I’m going to bet that you already have a pot of lavender on your terrace growing flowers for Jura’s scones that you’re clearly trying to re-create, but you’ve absolutely used too much clove in your spice blend,” I say readily, pleased with more proof of my disguise.
“I also hope you bought the right sugar—the large granules, not the fine-ground kind, because—”
“Because the top needs the crunch, and the fine ground won’t achieve the same results,” Ren finishes in time with me.
We share a smile, both remembering the time when he made that very mistake on a trip to the store.
Poor man was sent out again by Jura, in the rain.
But warm scones made the hassle worth it. “It is you.”
“In the slightly new flesh,” I say, then quickly add, “And don’t worry, I really am not here for anything. I just wanted to see how you both were. A social call for my own peace of mind.”
He smiles in a manner that tells me he believes me. “Let’s show you around.”
Gilly dutifully follows his new masters as we wander the house. On occasion, he stops by Kaelis for scratches. But I never get anything more than side-eyes and feel more betrayed with every step.
There are bedrooms and bathrooms upstairs.
The lower floor is reserved for entertaining.
The front three rooms are two parlors that flank the foyer, and a large kitchen and dining area behind them that spans the width of all three and connects to an equally wide terrace where plants happily grow.
I readily cast a Seven of Coins to help promote growth and double the yield of the container garden.
That’s where we ultimately settle: at a little table situated by the open doors of the terrace.
I can already tell Twino’s seat from the rest. It has a side table piled with books and journals.
The dog curls up contentedly at his feet as Ren brings us tea and a plate of not-quite-right but oh-so-delicious scones.
“Everything’s beautiful,” I compliment them easily as Ren sits.
“It’s been nice.” Twino nods.
“I’m thinking of opening a small tea shop.” Ren carefully stirs two sugars into his almost-overfull cup. “Share Jura’s recipes with the world, once I perfect them.” He takes a scone, nibbling off an end and following with a heavy sigh. “You’re right, too much clove.”
“It would’ve helped if she’d written them down.” I take a bite as well. It’s just barely off. Close enough to ache. Far enough to not instantly take me back to my friend.
“I offered to help him with the Six of Wands,” Twino says. The card offers success in a minor task, but—
“I want to do it on my own,” Ren insists. Just as I suspected would be his answer. “Jura did it without magic; I want to also.”
“I didn’t take you for a magic-free purist,” Kaelis says, humming.
“Clearly I’m not.” Ren gestures to the plants on the terrace that I just helped grow with magic.
“But for this, it feels more like I’d be honoring her properly if I honed my own skills.
Plus, I want to know how it’s done, I can’t cast a six on my own nor do I want to waste the ink.
” The Six of Wands helps complete the task but doesn’t always show how.
Twino looks to me. “Maybe you and Gregor can help taste test…Arina, too.”
The addition of my sister hits me like a blow to the chest. “Yes, Arina would love that,” I manage, though every word feels like glass over my tongue. I quickly change the topic. “Do you have any ideas for a location for your cafe?”
We talk about big dreams and little ones.
About making an honest living that one can actually subsist on.
How the money Bristara left behind was, according to Twino, “enough to be comfortable on, enough that we won’t have to worry, if we’re smart about it and make a bit to cover day-to-day expenses on the side… ”
We talk about the dog, how they found him already living in the empty house and couldn’t be expected to kick him out. How now that they’ve had a dog, maybe there could be talk of a family someday…
We talk until the sun is beginning to hang low in the sky, burning behind the distant mountains.
“We should go,” I say for Kaelis and myself, realizing he’s said very little this entire time.
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay for dinner?” Ren asks.
“Unfortunately not. We have things to discuss.” I stand, even though a part of me is yearning to do the opposite.
“Like what?” Twino asks.
I merely smile, eyes darting to Ren.
He leans in to Twino. “We’re out of that life, my love. Probably for the best we don’t know.”
Twino sighs and nods. “Probably for the best.”
I can tell a part of him misses it. But not enough to want to come back…not anywhere close. Not when he has this. The aroma of good food, the creak of well-loved floors, the warmth of a dog sleeping underfoot.
“Please stay safe, you two,” I say.
“The only injuries I am at risk of these days are paper cuts.” Twino gestures to his books.
“I’ll see you out.” Ren stands.
We go to the door, Kaelis collecting his coat. Ren pulls me in for a tight embrace. I return it readily, even when it lasts longer than I expected.
“Thank you,” he whispers, small and still somewhat scared. “For not pulling him back in. You know he would’ve gone if you asked.”
I squeeze him tighter. “He wouldn’t have. His life is with you now.”
We pull apart and share a knowing smile.
There was a time when maybe it would’ve been true.
When Twino and I had both recently joined the Starcrossed Club and were as thick as thieves.
When our friendship—when that whole world—felt like forever.
But it was just a chapter in our lives. One, if I’m honest, I might have been trying to add to long after the ink was dry.
It’s time to turn the page.
With one final shout of goodbyes from Twino, Kaelis and I step out into the night. I pause at the top of the stone stairs that lead from the street to their door, looking behind me, staring through the wood to where I know Ren is starting a light dinner and Twino is still reading.
“They’re happy,” I say quietly, the words mostly a reminder to myself.
“Yes.”
I find Kaelis studying me intently. Eyes searching. But for what, I don’t know.
“Thank you.” I start walking, heading back for Arcana Academy.
“I think I needed to see that. To know they are safe and well…” I pause.
Kaelis doesn’t rush to fill the silence, and I’m not sure what prompts me to.
“No, more than that…I needed to see that this kind of life is something that could be obtained. This”—I gesture around me at the well-manicured houses—“was always for other people. For people not like me. But to see them here now—to see someone I know achieve that type of domestic peace. It makes me think I could attain it, too.”
Kaelis is quiet for a long moment, as if waiting to see if I’m really finished this time. Finally, he says, “Is that what you want? Would it make you happy?”
“I don’t know,” I admit, the honesty leaving me feeling even more exposed. “But I know what won’t make me happy.”
“And what’s that?”
“Continuing to lose everything I’ve worked for.
To scrape it together and lose it all, time and again.
” I finally look his way as we pass under the trees of River Park once more.
“This is going to be it, Kaelis. There is no going back after this year. I’m going to find out how to make the vessel, and then I’ll use it to summon and cast the World. ”
Kaelis nods slowly, understanding illuminating those fathomless eyes even in the growing night. He doesn’t immediately proffer information on the vessel, but I’m not sure whether I can assume that means he knows nothing. “Let us end it, then.”
“Let us remake the World into something that can never be taken from us again,” I whisper, even though it feels as loud to me as a scream.
The darkness is all-consuming and we slow to a stop. He’s barely visible in the distant lamplight. The hood shadows his expression. But I know every curve of his face and I nearly move to touch his strong jaw.
My throat is dry. My hands twitching to grab his. To pull him to me. This is the second time I’ve wanted to kiss him. And, just like before, I’m at a loss. Trapped somewhere between what we could be and all the misconceptions I once had about him.
Do I need to hold back any longer? Or can I touch him as freely as my heart desires?
Before I can find the answers, he steps back.
“Very well,” he says finally, nods, and starts walking again, as if making it a point to leave me behind. “Tell me of your plans to make yourself my newest professor.”
For the entire walk back, I outline my ideas for how I am going to, once more, infiltrate Arcana Academy as Oricalis’s most wanted.