15. What Did We Learn About Caves? Fuck All, Apparently
Iwas groggy and quiet over breakfast, my mind as far from my soggy bowl of porridge as it was possible to be. We were on the move before the sun had risen over the treetops, with Sage snapping at our heels like an energetic but bad-tempered sheepdog. I couldn’t say I shared her impatience. Every step carried me closer to my doom. A substantial part of me wanted to turn and run before we ever reached the horrors King Maelgwyn had in store for me, but I knew I wouldn’t make it far before something hunted me down. I was dead either way. Besides, where would I run to? The sealed rifts? Much good that would do me, even if I had the first idea where to find one. There was no place for me in this world.
I walked with my head low, not daring to look up from our path through the tangled roots and clumps of flowers. Even Pansy gave up her attempts to pry conversation from me. I had no more interest in the mysterious properties of the plants, or in learning about the creatures and people of this world. What did it matter to me? I would either succeed or fail my mission. If I succeeded, I was going home. If I failed, as was more likely, especially after such a terrible night’s sleep, I would die.
“Aliza,” Pansy whispered. “Are you well?”
How could I be well? I had no idea what lay ahead, other than that no human before me had ever come out of this mess alive. This wasn’t some test that could be studied for. It was my life, and the fate of this world. I was woefully unprepared.
I forced myself to smile. “Just nervous.”
Pansy nodded but didn’t look convinced.
The trees ahead thinned out, revealing a towering, mossy cliff face, half covered with trailing ivy. Sage came to a halt, bracing her hands on her hips and staring up. If she thought I was climbing that, she had another thing coming.
After a minute, she told us to wait and veered off along the base of the cliff, trailing her hand through the vines. Pansy sank down onto a rock with a sigh, but, tired as I was, I couldn’t settle. My blood fizzed in my veins, as though it had turned to lemonade. I crossed my arms and shifted my weight between my feet, watching Sage’s progress. As much as I didn’t want to climb, or do anything else for that matter, the cliff was pretty. Layers and ripples of different hues of grey and white, broken by the rich green of the vines. What would it feel like, to trail my fingers over the rock, as Sage was doing? I imagined the chalky residue it might leave on my skin, and rubbed my fingertips over my thumbs. I left Pansy on her rock and followed in Sage’s footsteps.
When I pressed my palm against the cliff face, the stone was warm, from hours baking in the sun. It seeped into my hand, drawing out some of the tension from my body. It wasn’t quite the same as the hum of energy the crystal tub back at Nairsgarth gave off, but, if I didn’t know better, I could have sworn the rock was alive. I wouldn’t have been surprised if it swelled beneath my hand, drawing in a breath. It was comforting, like coming home at the end of a long shift, to find the windows glowing in welcome.
“What is it? Do you feel something?”
Sage appeared at my shoulder, and I snatched my hand away, hiding it behind my back as I faced her. “What? No.”
The witch gave a knowing smirk. “It’s not the rock, it’s the magic. It’s them.”
“Them?”
She rolled her eyes. “The princes, girl. They’re here.”
I gave the cliff a dubious glance from the side of my eye. “They’re… in the rock?”
Did I have to chisel them out? Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all. Maybe I could do it. Sure, it wouldn’t be easy, but it didn’t sound like something that could kill me.
“No. They’re on the other side.” She set off again, following the base of the cliff. I hurried after her.
“How can you tell?”
“I can feel the magic of the curse. It bleeds through the rock, trying to push me away.”
“Away? I thought…” No, it was best to keep my mouth shut about the energies of crystals and rocks, even here, where such things didn’t seem quite as ridiculous.
Sage frowned over her shoulder. “What did you think?”
Oh, whatever. Who cared if I was insane? I definitely wouldn’t be the only one. “It’s like it’s… calling me.”
Sage halted, narrowing her eyes in contemplation. “I see. Perhaps you should be the one to guide us from here.”
“Oh no, I couldn’t.” I took a step back. “I wouldn’t know what to look for.”
“Nor do I. We have never searched this particular place before.”
“Why not?”
Sage shrugged, her eyes losing their focus, as though she was journeying through her memories. “Other places seemed likelier. In the early decades, humans found their way through the rifts every other day. There was always a willing volunteer to test my latest theories with, but one by one, they failed, and I exhausted my options.” And the humans died. I swallowed. “Now here we stand in one of the few places I did not have the chance to try.”
“After so many failures, you truly believe that you’ve figured it out this time?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“I can feel it, Aliza. The magic. It’s… different. Not quite right. Maelgwyn has pushed the boundaries of magic far beyond any other, beyond what is natural. He should have stopped long ago.” She placed her hand on the wall of rock. “It feels wrong. I know you feel it too.”
I certainly felt something, but wrong wasn’t the word I would use. I skimmed my fingers over the rock. The sensation that travelled up my arm was a summer breeze, or the first lick of ice cream, or slipping into pyjamas after a long day.
“What do I do?” I breathed, my eyes closed, the comforting sensation spreading up to my shoulder, so faint it was barely there at all.
“Trust yourself.”
At Sage’s simple words, I snapped my eyes open. She asked too much of me. This was all too new. This wasn’t some test I’d studied for, it wasn’t a practical examination I’d practised until I could do it blindfolded, this was the fate of the world, and I was just Aliza. How could I trust myself? Unlike Sage, I hadn’t had hundreds of years to work with magic. It was unfamiliar. Alien. Everything in this world was. I didn’t have a stream of volunteers willing to sacrifice themselves for their chance at a crown. I was the sacrifice, and I was far from willing. For once in my life, I was clueless.
Sage watched me expectantly with quiet hope in her eyes. Hope that finally, after all these centuries of searching and failing, her people would be safe, her world free. I heaved a sigh and let my eyes slip closed as I pressed my palm harder against the stone.
My mind wandered back to the Fairy Glen, and the cave that had ruined my life. I hadn’t wanted to go in at all, and even when I succumbed to Isobel’s nagging, I’d never intended to go beyond the puddle of grey light marking the threshold. I had done though. I’d gone deep enough that I’d wound up here. I’d taken step after step, even after my torch had flickered out and darkness had swamped me. At the time, I hadn’t noticed, but with hindsight… had something called to me? Had I been drawn in by the pull of a magic I hadn’t had the experience to recognise? Magic that spoke to me and only me?
Was I meant to be here?
My feet moved, wandering at a gentle pace. I kept my eyes closed and let my hand trail over the stone, maintaining that comforting connection. With the sun baking down on my skin, I could well believe I was back home in my own garden, enjoying a summer’s day. A breeze stirred, lifting the loose strands of hair around my face.
The ground beneath my feet gave a satisfying crunch with every step. It became a rhythm, one foot and then the other, a gentle beat in my mind. A beat that was answered by the pulse of magic beneath my fingers.
My eyes snapped open at the realisation, and I swayed, blinking in the bright sunshine. Dazed, I turned to find not just Sage, but all the witches hovering at my back. When had that happened? How hadn’t I noticed them? Behind them, the spot they’d rested in had vanished. How far had I walked?
“Anything?” Sage’s question came out on a breath, little more than an expectant whisper.
“I don’t know.” I gave the rock a doubtful look. Was I really sensing magic, knowingly following its call when a few days ago I hadn’t believed in it?
For all the walking I’d done, the cliff didn’t look any different, but I closed my eyes again. The beat was still there, thudding through me like a second heartbeat, but my feet stayed still. There was no urge to move left or right. I opened my eyes to find the cliff face an inch from my nose. Had I leaned toward it? I took a hasty step back, severing my connection to the magic.
“Could they be here?” I regretted my question immediately. I was bound to be wrong. If all this came to nothing, the witches would think me the biggest fool to ever cross the rift.
Sage appeared at my side, running her hands over the stone as though my words weren’t batshit crazy. She hummed in consideration. “The magic is strong here.”
Okay, well, maybe I hadn’t lost the plot completely. I retreated, making space for the witches as they rushed to examine the patch of wall I’d inexplicably chosen. Goosebumps pricked over my arms, and I shuddered, hugging myself. I couldn’t be right, but if I was, we were one step closer. To what? Success, or my death?
The witches muttered amongst themselves, leaving me to stew over my mistakes. Camping had been the first. If I survived this quest, if I made it home, I would never sleep in a tent ever again. It would be hotels only from here on out. Holidays would be spent in the sunshine, and would certainly not involve hiking or expeditions into caves.
“Aliza?”
Great. What now? I half hoped the witches were about to tell me I was wrong, that we should give up this ridiculous mission and return to Nairsgarth, never to try again, but the excitement simmering in Pansy’s eyes told me otherwise. I approached on reluctant feet.
“We think this is it,” Pansy muttered through teeth bared in a smile, “but we can’t open it.”
“Open what?”
“I suspect this is a hidden gate,” Sage explained in an oddly strained voice. “I also suspect it can only be opened by a human.”
“Oh. Well… that would make sense, I guess. What do I have to do?” I stared up at the cliff face, towering above us. I saw nothing to mark it as a gate, but then, if I was an evil wizard intent on hiding my cursed nephews, I wouldn’t signpost it either.
“Give me your hand.”
I did as Sage said, allowing her to turn my hand palm up. She stared down at it intently, as though reading my future. What did she see? Did my lifeline come to an abrupt end, marked with today’s date?
Sage whipped a dagger across my palm.
Blood bloomed a moment before pain erupted. I tried to snatch my hand away, but she caught my wrist in a surprisingly strong grip considering her short fingers, twisting my palm toward the rock.
“What the fuck? A little warning next time!”
My blood smeared the stone, and I winced as my hand stung as though it had been dipped in acid.
With a ground quaking rumble, a crack split the wall. I staggered back, dragging Sage with me as the dark slice stretched taller even than me, before expanding into a pitch-black chasm. It stretched wide enough to admit one person, then fell still and silent.
Sage’s incredulous, high-pitched laugh was so unlike her that it distracted me temporarily from the cave mouth that hadn’t existed a moment ago. Was it some sick joke that my journey had started with a cave and now looked likely to end the same way?
“We found it,” Sage muttered, dropping my wrist and advancing on the wall. “We actually found it.”
By we I presumed she meant I had found it. The witch whipped around in a whirl of blonde hair, fixing her wild eyes on me. I retreated a step. “You’re really her,” she whispered. “It’s you.”
Well, this was weird. I couldn’t decide if the jet-black cave was scarier than Sage’s display of genuine emotion. Nor was her evident surprise at my small success reassuring.
“Your hand.” She jolted into action, tossing her pack to the ground. Her hands trembled as she unbuckled the strap and began rooting through its contents.
“Aliza, you did it.” Pansy laid a reverent hand on my arm, her mouth hung open in shock. Behind her, the witches all stared at me with identical expressions of awe.
So much for their belief in me being the mysterious Human Queen. They were as stunned as I was. I almost laughed, until a sharp throb reminded me of my injured hand. I clutched it to my chest as sticky warmth ran down my wrist. Was Jacques lurking? Would the metallic tang of my blood be enough to tempt him out into the sunlight?
“Here, Aliza.” Sage staggered to her feet, reaching for my hand. I shied away, and she rolled her eyes. “Oh, come now, don’t be ridiculous.”
“You just sliced me open!”
“I had no choice, and besides, I’m about to patch you up.” She brandished a jar containing thick green paste, the same concoction she’d used on me when I’d arrived at Nairsgarth. It had worked wonders.
Grudgingly, I allowed her to pour water into the wound, and smother it in paste, while I winced and ground my teeth, all the while trying not to look at the hulking cave. The pain eased beneath the cool poultice, and Sage wound a bandage around my hand. Her work wasn’t as neat as it had been the first time, but it was done quickly.
Too quickly, in fact.
No sooner had she shouldered her pack once more than she marched me to the cave mouth. With a mutter and a click of her fingers, a little flame appeared in her hand. It wasn’t much against the dense darkness awaiting us, but it was better than nothing. To my relief, she went ahead of me, picking up speed as she aimed for the narrow crack.
With a small oof noise, Sage collided with the darkness, bouncing off and stumbling backwards into my chest. Unthinkingly, I caught her, receiving a stab of pain in my hand as a reward.
“What happened?” I couldn’t quite keep the hope from my voice. If we couldn’t go any further, we’d have no choice but to give up.
Sage didn’t answer. She shoved away from me, marching to the cave. She bounced back as though an invisible door protected the area, but she recovered her feet, trying again. Whatever was blocking her held firm. With a scream of rage, Sage whacked her fists against it. Where they should have arced through the air, they slammed to a stop.
The witch turned, seeking out her fellows, her shoulders heaving with every breath. “You try.”
Hyacinth hurried forward, slowing as she neared the waiting hole. She lifted a hand, holding it before her. Her wrist bent back as her palm met something unyielding.
One by one, my companions attempted to enter the cave. All failed.
Sage turned to me, raising a questioning eyebrow.
Erm, no. Absolutely not.
Except, my feet moved, carrying me forward against my will. I didn’t want to go in there, did I? Especially when Sage couldn’t lead the way. No, definitely not. I much preferred the idea of staying in the sunshine, surrounded by my protectors, and yet there I was, strolling toward the cave mouth. I hesitated on the lip of the shadows. If I could go through, what did that mean for me? Did I go on alone? It wasn’t too late to turn back. I could still run. I could become another failure in Neath’s history.
Failure.
The word sat uneasily on my shoulders. I didn’t know how to fail. I’d strived and worked for everything I had. Could this be the day I gave up without a fight?
With a deep breath, I took a careful step. My boot landed in darkness. Another step, and another. From the shade of the cave, I turned to face my party, my legs numb. They couldn’t follow me.
I was alone.
Worried faces stared back. Pansy drifted forward, though she made no attempt to join me.
“Come back, Aliza,” Sage said, her voice brisk and level once more.
As glad as I was to oblige, something, some strange, new awareness, grated over my skin as I emerged into the light. Something that clawed at me, trying to hold me back. I shrugged it off, rejoining the witches.
“You go on alone from here,” Sage said, as though giving instructions on how to fold a bedsheet. “It seems we have taken you as far as we can.”
I barked a single, flat note of laughter. She was joking, right? She couldn’t possibly expect me to continue alone and live to tell the tale.
“Here.” Sage fished something out of her pocket and pressed it into my uninjured hand. She cupped my upturned hand in hers, and I caught a glimpse of a white crystal before her palm laid flat over it. Her eyes slipped shut and she muttered a strange word under her breath.
Something spread over my skin, cool and hard, like a wafer-thin layer of ice. It moulded to my form, following every curve and contour of my body, then faded into nothing.
“What was that?”
“A protection spell.” Sage raised her pale eyebrow, sliding the crystal back into her pocket. “It won’t prevent major injury, but consider it a layer of armour against minor blows. Honestly, girl. When we get back you need to attend some lessons.”
Major injury? My knees trembled, but before I could think of an argument for giving up this insane plan, another witch, Hazel, placed another rock in my hand. I was sick of rocks. I never wanted to see one again as long as I lived, starting right now.
Another strange word, another strange sensation. Tiny, champagne-like bubbles popped over me, starting at the crown of my head and cascading down to my toes. My body shivered involuntarily, though the sensation wasn’t completely horrible.
“Luck.” Hazel smiled shyly up at me, averting her blue eyes. “It will guide your choices.”
I’d need more than luck.
Hyacinth came next, holding a small, glass lantern containing a tiny crystal. With a click of her fingers, a flame curled to life, engulfing the rock. Most unusually, she didn’t smile as she handed it to me. Instead, she gave me a look Mum might have given if faced with the prospect of sending me to my death. “To light your way,” she said softly.
Pansy came last, tears wobbling at her lower eyelids. “You have your daggers? And the necklace?” Her voice wavered. I nodded, and she sniffed before launching herself at me. I hugged her gingerly back, careful not to set her on fire, or snag my bandages. When she broke away, her cheeks glistened.
“It’s going to be fine,” she insisted, though I didn’t know who she hoped to fool. “Just be careful, alright? We’ll be waiting for you.”
How could I promise to be careful when I didn’t have the faintest idea what lurked in the darkness. Shades? Spiders? Maelgwyn himself?
“What if I find them?” I croaked. “How do I break the curse?”
Sage’s green eyes swept over me, and she gave my dagger belt an experimental tug. When it held firm, she lifted her gaze. “Trust yourself, Aliza. You are the Human Queen. I wasn’t sure at first, but you are, beyond all doubt. You will know what to do, but be on your guard. You will not necessarily be able to rely on your senses beyond this gate. You must use your brain. Question everything you might see or hear. Trust nothing. The fae are notorious tricksters, and Maelgwyn is the worst of them. We’ll wait until the moon sets on the second night,” Sage said. “Be back by then, Aliza.”
Shaking from head to toe, I nodded and walked into the darkness alone.