Chapter 33
Calm Down
GREER
Roarke’s words make my heart race. I wipe at my eyes and take a deep breath. They aren’t letting me go. Yet.
Fuck, if I feel this bad after only a few days, how will I feel in months? A year?
Maybe it would be better to leave now. If I pin all my hopes and dreams on these men, what happens when they get sick of me? When they find someone new and better?
What if I’m just a convenient mystery to them? Or, like Mason said, I’m a broken doll they want to fix. What happens when they can’t fix me?
The last few days have been some of the best of my life so far. What cost am I willing to pay for more of those days? What cost will I have to pay?
“Greer.” Roarke’s voice sounds like he’s directly on the other side of the door. “Please, poppet. Come out or let me in.”
His coaxing voice tugs at something deep inside me that needs him. I want to be wanted. It’s just part of my makeup at this point in my life, but there’s something more here with these men.
This has the potential to break me, but I want them. Knowing I might have to make a decision, I hesitate to reach for the doorknob. I can’t stay just to have sex with them, and I won’t take money for that either. That’s not who I am. I never want to be that desperate.
Taking a breath and making sure my emotions are tucked away deep, I open the door.
Roarke’s blue eyes sweep over my face as he cocks a grin. “We wouldn’t let you go that easily, poppet.”
“I just needed to freshen up.” I gesture hopelessly back to the bathroom. The mirror mocks me. My eyes are still a little red, but at least I didn’t have a full meltdown.
Roarke steps into the small bathroom, closing the door, and before I know what’s happening, he’s engulfed me in a hug, drawing me deep into his arms. I stay stiff, trying to resist the urge to count on him. To trust this time, they won’t send me away when I become inconvenient or useless.
His large hand holds my head against his chest. “This is something that will come up. It’s the nature of our business, but I swear everything is fixable, including this. Even if it gets out, we’ll spin it. That’s why we have a team of publicists working for us.”
I draw in his sandalwood scent and let it seep into my veins. My muscles ease, and I let him take my weight against him.
“You aren’t leaving,” Roarke whispers.
I nod, even though I don’t believe him. I want to believe him. He could mean that. But promises are easily broken.
“You ready to go back out, poppet?” Roarke doesn’t let me go from his hug.
“Yeah.” When I pull away a little, he releases me.
He tips my chin up and searches my eyes like he’s trying to see inside me. Satisfied with whatever he sees, Roarke holds his hand out to me. I wish I could prepare myself for the sparks, but every time we touch, it’s like a jolt to my system. I slide my hand into his, and some of the tension eases from his shoulders.
“We’ll figure this out, poppet.” He leads me into the kitchen.
I glance at Wyatt’s concerned face and Mason’s thoughtful expression. My gaze then goes to Aiden, standing next to the swimming pool. Is he angry at me, or angry this is happening? All I know is he’s all alone, like when he was up that night. The guys are giving him space, but sometimes space isn’t what’s needed.
I squeeze Roarke’s hand and give him a reassuring smile.
He looks out to Aiden and nods slightly. He kisses my hand.
I walk around the table to step into the sunlight with Aiden.
“Hey.” My voice is soft, but he turns his head toward me.
“This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have done that. I know better. Shit like this always gets out.” Aiden doesn’t look at me as he beats himself up. He doesn’t need to worry about this.
I slide my hand in his, and his fingers curl around mine.
“I’m glad you did.” I can’t regret anything that happened with these guys even if it means I’m not staying. But Aiden is still vulnerable and in pain.
We just stand there, staring at the sunlight reflecting off the pool. Neither of us can do anything to help the others sort this. But if this is my last day in paradise, I can spend it holding Aiden’s hand.
He draws me to lean against him. His hand rests on my hip, holding me close. This morning feels like forever ago, but my insides soften at his touch. The tension eases out of me as we hold each other up.
“You won’t leave,” he says after several minutes.
I glance up at his face, but he’s still looking out at the water. “If I don’t have a job, I can’t stay.”
I can’t take from them without giving. I can’t just hang around and be available for sex. Even mind-blowing, life-changing sex.
“You could simply be our assistant and not my sobriety companion.” His fingers stroke over my hip, bunching up my T-shirt a little. “I need you, little warrior.”
I lift my gaze to his light blue eyes. My heart thumps against my chest because the deeper I go with these guys, the harder it will be to untangle myself when they drop me.
“Hey.” Wyatt’s voice is soft, and we both turn around. “We might have a solution.”
Wyatt holds out his hand to me. I take Aiden’s first and then Wyatt’s. He leads us both inside. The inside seems dimmer after being outside in the sunlight for so long.
Aiden sits next to Wyatt. Wyatt draws me down onto his lap.
Mason rests his forearms on the table with his hands clasped. “We managed to negotiate for exclusive rights, but that doesn’t mean it won’t still get out.”
Roarke studies me carefully. But I can’t change any of what’s about to happen. I have to remind myself that this could all end. I need to prepare myself for the worst. It’s easier that way.
“Which means we need a new tactic. Either a distraction or a stand-in.”
“A stand-in?” I ask.
“Someone who resembles you enough to say that’s who Aiden was kissing.” Mason’s intense gaze focuses on me. “He would go out and be seen with her on outings that look like dates. The public will assume that’s the woman he kissed at the party, and even though a few guests might try to argue, we’ll all claim that’s the fact.”
I swallow, and Aiden takes my hand.
“It’s no different from when agents try to boost one of their clients by having another client act like they’re in a relationship.” Aiden sounds less than enthusiastic about it.
“What’s the other option?” I don’t know what a distraction would be either.
“Give them something bigger with more meat, so that this kiss gets shuffled to a smaller section or isn’t enough to make it onto the site.” Mason moves his gaze to Aiden. “The problem with that is finding something big enough. Aiden dating after rehab will be big news, especially with his divorce from Siobhan.”
I bite my lip. I don’t like the idea of Aiden dating anyone else, but if it’s the only option, it’s better than being out of a job.
“If we go with the decoy date, then the bank won’t have any reason to not approve you to work with Aiden for the course of the film.” Wyatt traces his finger along my thigh, sending a shiver through me. “But we also would need to make sure they don’t look at you suspiciously again.”
“What does that mean?” I glance around at the guys, waiting for one of them to explain.
“It would be beneficial if you were dating someone.” Mason doesn’t let his gaze drop from me.
“Oh.” Like I understand, but I don’t. “So you want me to find someone to date?”
“Fuck, no, poppet.” Roarke arches an eyebrow. “You need to date one of us.”
My eyes widen. “Oh.”
That wasn’t part of the deal.
“If you have a boyfriend, it would be less likely that they think one or all of us is fucking around with you.” Wyatt draws my back to rest against his chest.
I bite my lip. Does that mean this deal is done? No more sex with all of them? I couldn’t possibly choose which guy I would want to date. This wasn’t supposed to be about dating at all. Just sex, no strings. Nothing to bind my heart to theirs.
“As much as I would love to show you off, poppet, the obvious choice for your relationship is Wyatt.” Roarke narrows his eyes on Wyatt.
My pulse quickens as Wyatt’s hand tightens on my bare hip.
Mason clasps his hands together. “The rest of us have a spotlight on us. Everyone would watch to see when one of us failed you.”
“I’m safe, kitten.” Wyatt rests his head on mine. “As a writer, I’m known in the industry, but very few news outlets care about my social life. Roarke and Aiden are too obvious. Even if Roarke dated you, everyone would wait for him to dump you, and if he didn’t, people would grow suspicious or curious.”
Roarke’s blue eyes hold mine for a second. He gives me a soft smile and a wink.
“I’m in this thing, poppet. But at some point, I’ll have to date other women just to appear like I’m doing what people expect.” Roarke rubs his hand through his hair. “You don’t have to worry about me straying, though. I won’t lie to you. If I plan to be with someone else, I’ll let you know.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. They might not make it a year with me. I can’t see myself being the one to call this thing over, but I could lose each of them slowly.
“None of us are ready to give you up, mouse.” Mason draws my attention. “I’m too high profile to date as well. With me being the director, the bank might question whether my girlfriend would be the best sobriety companion for Aiden.”
My heart skips when he calls me his girlfriend, even if this is all pretend, so they can keep fucking me. But hell, I don’t want to stop what we just started. I need this job, and I want to keep having sex with these men.
“Enough people saw you with me at the party. No one will question our relationship.” Wyatt slides his hand down my arm, and I turn to meet his hazel eyes. “When we go out, you stay with me unless I need to be somewhere else. No one will suspect your involvement with the others.”
He cups my cheek.
“Is all this necessary?” I ask, not wanting to be a burden. “Wouldn’t it just be easier to get rid of me?”
Wyatt tips my chin up. “None of us want to get rid of you, kitten. You’re perfect for Aiden’s recovery, and we all enjoyed the past few days with you. Do you want to leave?”
The weight of four sets of eyes falls on me. If I leave now, it will only sting a little. I could protect my heart from falling deeper with these guys.
The longer I stay, the harder it will be to leave. My heart is already held together by Duct tape. I’ve tried to build a wall around it, but these guys seem to slip through the cracks. If I stay, that wall will be gone and I’ll be vulnerable again.
Can I watch Aiden date someone else, knowing he’ll be coming home to me? Can I watch Roarke flirt and date women he has no intentions of sleeping with until one of them catches his fancy and he leaves me behind?
The real question is, can I walk away from the temptation? Roarke’s boisterous playfulness. Aiden’s pain-filled softness. Wyatt’s quiet flirting. Mason’s dark control.
I clear my throat. “So Aiden will date someone who resembles me. Wyatt and I will be a couple. And Roarke will date random women.”
“Yes, and you’ll remain Aiden’s sobriety companion.” Mason locks me in with his cool blue eyes. “And our dirty little secret toy.”
Arousal spills through me at those words. While I’ve been with other men, none of them have made me feel what these men do. I shouldn’t want them as badly as I do, but I can’t resist finding out what more they have in store for me.
“It won’t be easy, but we’ll have each other.” Roarke reaches across the table and takes my hand.
“You’ll be ours in this house.” Mason smiles, and tingles race up my spine. “We’ll work this out, little mouse. You’ll see.”
For now, I’m secure. For now, these men want me. I’ll be theirs and no one else’s for now.