Chapter 26 #2
The crystal had cracked from the blow, and a tiny tongue of fire licked out.
Sparks suddenly launched out of it, bursting in a radiant halo overhead.
I shrieked in surprise, and the crow in the Blood Tree let out a matching squawk before winging away.
The flame raced around the basket, causing more crystals to break, until the air was filled with dancing specks of light.
The flower petals turned a deep red in the heat, edged with glowing embers.
When the display was done and the sparks had winked out into tiny fragments of ash, Aidan pulled a scroll from his belt and presented it with a flourish. “For you.”
I took it, feeling both awe and trepidation. That display had been beautiful, but there was only one person this could be from. Sure enough, the paper was filled with Drustan’s handwriting.
Dearest Kenna,
Congratulations on your performance last night.
I regret I didn’t speak with you afterwards—I needed to assure my supporters that our alliance is strong and Imogen’s piece of pageantry was no more than that.
She knows how to perform, but I know how to lead.
One skirmish means little compared to the scope of the war ahead, and when the battle breaks, I will lead our side to a glorious victory.
I hope you, too, know that I am capable of leading us.
Was that what he was aiming for with this gift? A bribe to win my support?
I’ve been thinking on your anger since the uprising.
How to work around it, how to change your mind and convince you to abandon your rage and support me once more.
Last night I realized that trying to redirect that anger is fruitless, because it’s a symptom of a larger issue—that you do not trust me.
That is fair. So I offer this gift with my vow to be honest with you, no matter what. You deserve that.
My eyes teared up, and I looked down, blinking away the sign of emotion.
Why couldn’t anything be easy? Why couldn’t the heroes and villains be obvious and pure in their intentions, for good or ill?
I was done with Drustan romantically, but there was a painful longing that came with hearing the right words a little too late.
I know you dislike my scheming at times, but it is a strength I hope you will learn to appreciate.
A ruler must be powerful, but they must also be loved.
I am no tyrant to assume my infallibility, though.
I make mistakes, despite my best intentions.
A tempering voice—yours—would be a gift to have at my side, if you would be open to sharing your insight and your trust once more.
Perhaps someday you would be willing to share something sweeter with me again, too.
So scheme with me, Kenna. See who I cultivate and how. Ask me for whatever you want, and I will provide. My sword, my soldiers, my honesty, my touch…Anything you desire can be yours. You must merely ask.
—Drustan
I pressed a hand to my mouth. This hadn’t just been a plea for support. It was a request to reopen that closed door between us. To take him back into my arms, my bed, and my heart.
Teasing him last night had been too effective, or else he’d seen it as an opening to achieve several goals at once.
Knowing Drustan, it was both. Because he clearly did want me, but he’d also begun this proposition by telling me what an incredible king he would be.
Those two desires would be tied together so long as I could place a crown on his head.
“Do you like it?” Aidan asked hesitantly.
The flowers smelled like the spices dropped into mulled wine, and the red petals were still lined with glittering embers.
Tiny flames wavered from the cracked stones like blades of grass in the wind.
Did I like it? Yes, because it was beautiful, and the promises in that letter were beautiful, too.
A Drustan who was always honest with me, who included me in his schemes and admitted he made mistakes—that was a version of Drustan I didn’t know yet, and I wanted to.
Imogen had also offered me anything I desired, though.
She also showered her subjects with gifts.
Some faeries were seducers by nature, and other than the letter, this had been a fairly impersonal offering.
Drustan still didn’t understand me well enough to realize that the gifts I valued most were intangible.
I thought about Kallen’s hand on mine, shaping my grip on a sword. The throat he’d ripped out to protect me. The time and work he’d put into strengthening me so I could stand on my own.
“Why didn’t Drustan come here to tell me this himself?” I asked Aidan.
He looked dismayed I wasn’t tripping over myself to praise the basket. “He said you would need time to think about it.”
“And he’s in a meeting,” I guessed.
Aidan’s silence was answer enough.
I stared at the gently smoldering flowers, wondering what to do.
Would accepting them make Drustan think he’d won my support or the right to my bed?
Flowers weren’t enough to win me over, but admitting he was a fallible person who made mistakes…
I appreciated that more than any promises about glorious victory.
It would make him a better king than someone who believed himself incapable of error.
The familiar panic of indecision fluttered in my chest, and not just over how to reply to the flowers. Time was running out.
Maybe Hector would say all the wrong things today, and the decision would become easy.
Maybe Torin and Rowena would try to kill me again, and I wouldn’t even be alive to make it.
“I’ll take the crystals,” I told Aidan. “He can keep the flowers.”
His forehead furrowed. “You don’t want the flowers?”
I wanted the flowers more than the crystals, to be honest, but they were a romantic gift, and I couldn’t give Drustan an enthusiastic yes or an enthusiastic no. It benefited me to have him invested in my well-being, and the things that tempted him most were the ones just out of reach.
“I appreciate the gift,” I said, smiling gently at Aidan and missing the days when he was just my friend and not the Fire prince’s messenger. “And it’s wonderful to see you, but I unfortunately can’t stay. I’m on my way to a meeting.”
Aidan deflated a little. “I’ll let him know.” He shook his head, looking down at the flowers with a half smile. “This is going to drive him mad.” When his eyes flicked up, they burned with the fire of a sprite’s gift. “You need to figure out what you want soon, though.”
I swallowed, worried about how deeply he could see into my muddled desires. “Are you going to tell him I don’t know what I want?”
He shook his head. “I think you do know. You’re just not able to admit it yet.”
“And what is it you think I want?”
He shrugged. “If I was a mind reader, they’d pay me a lot more.
” The magic flickered out, and his eyes returned to their usual black.
“I don’t envy you this position, Kenna,” he said with the rare seriousness he saved for private moments.
“No matter what you choose, people will be hurt. One of the princes—and their entire house—will be furious with you. That can’t be easy. ”
“No,” I admitted. “It’s not.”
He was looking at me with compassion now.
“But I can feel your desire to do the right thing and make the choice that saves the most lives. So I would counsel you—as your friend, not as a member of Fire House—to not lose sight of that. If you can’t live with a decision, don’t make it just because someone else thinks you should.
” His smile was lopsided and wry. “Even if that someone is me.”
Touched, I pulled him into a hug. He made a startled noise, said something garbled into my shoulder about princesses not giving out hugs to servants willy-nilly, then squeezed me back.
“I hope Hector gives you uglier flowers,” he muttered when I finally released him.
That got me to laugh. “I doubt Hector will send me any flowers.”
But I was curious to find out what the Void prince was going to offer instead.