CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
When I awoke, a bouquet of wildflowers awaited me, perched on the nightstand in a glorious bundle of pinks and purples.
“David brought them in this morning.” Anna giggled. Drea rolled her eyes and left.
I buried my face in them, the petals tickling my chin, the floral aroma filling my nostrils. A smile tugged at my lips. “That was so sweet.”
“He’s cute,” Anna said. “I’m very happy for you two.”
I thought of Thomas, of the way he sometimes felt incredibly close, as if he and I were made of the same substance. Yet other times, it felt like I barely existed in the same world as him.
I buried my face back into my flowers. “Me too.”
Anna grinned. “Aunt Calloway wants to see you, by the way. I think it’s about what you’ll do once you’re married.”
I nodded, my temples already aching. I still hadn’t decided what to do about my position at the palace once I married David.
I should have wanted to stay, but I wasn’t sure I did anymore.
With Ella gone, the laughter-filled shifts had also disappeared, and in the emptiness left behind came discontentment.
I didn’t want to scrub floors until my body could no longer bend.
And yet on the other hand, I wasn’t sure I wanted children quite yet, either. Or at all.
What I wanted to do, what I felt I ought to, lingered on the tip of my tongue, never voiced for fear of who might hear me.
Magic.
I’d been thinking about ways I could make it my life’s work just as Thomas had.
Perhaps I could find a master in the Capitol to give me formal training.
One day, I might even join the Mage Council.
There was so much good in the world to do, so much that needed to be done, and I had the power within me to do it if given the opportunity. I just needed the means.
To restore the world could be a powerful magic thread indeed.
I washed my face and squeezed my cheeks so they left pink stains behind, slipping my grey gown over my head and tying an apron around my waist. I adjusted my engagement ribbon, wincing at the red, itchy indent it had left around my wrist.
When I was done, I wandered down the hall, knocking on Mrs. Calloway’s office. The housekeeper opened it shortly, gesturing for me to sit down.
“Anna mentioned you wanted to talk to me?”
“Yes, dear.” Her eyes flicked down to the purple knot on my arm. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you.”
She leaned on her desk and folded her hands in front of her. “As you know, I have asked you and Anna to cover for Ella since that… that terrible incident occurred a few months ago.”
A spark of anger kindled in my chest. Mrs. Calloway had been part of the reason Ella was forced to leave.
Sympathy blossomed in her eyes. “I know it’s been hard on you both.
I’ve had trouble finding a suitable replacement.
” She rubbed her cheek. “I’m working out an arrangement with the butler to compensate you both for the added duties.
I just need to know whether you are planning to stay in service after you marry. ”
I opened my mouth. “I…”
“It doesn’t matter to me either way, dear.”
“I’ll go,” I uttered.
Surprise lifted her brows. “Alright.” She scribbled a few notes down. “What date?”
“Snowfest,” I said, my chest filling with panic.
She continued to scribble. “I’ll have your compensation figured out by then. I like to take care of my girls.” She smiled at me, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.
My teeth ground together.
“If you don’t mind my asking, you’ve always been a career-oriented sort of individual. I know it’s none of my business,” she said, setting her quill pen down, “but are you sure you want to leave?”
“I’ve found my priorities have shifted.”
Her eyes lit up. “Love will do that.”
I nodded and stood, the world off-kilter as I offered Mrs. Calloway a lousy curtsey.
“I’ll be expecting an invite to the wedding!” she called as I closed the door.
I bit my tongue as I headed down the servants’ wing and turned to climb the stairs.
Worried I’d just made the biggest mistake of my life.
“Thanks for the flowers,” I said, my fingers intertwined with David’s, my other palm wrapped around his bicep.
“Of course.” David led me down a beaten path under thinning trees. A cool wind signalled the approach of autumn as yellow-tinged leaves crunched underfoot. “I saw them and thought of you.”
I sighed into him, his body familiar from years of walks, conversations, and memories.
“I wish we could marry sooner.”
My heart thumped. “Oh?”
He looked over at me. “I can tell you’re nervous.”
My fingers tightened around his arm.
“It’s normal to be nervous about getting married. This is a huge decision.”
“How do you know we’re making the right choice?”
His eyes crinkled. “Because I know you.”
My gaze wandered over the flowers blowing in the breeze, struggling to stay upright from the ferocity of the wind.
“I know that you have a good heart,” he continued. “You are a wonderful daughter and sister, an excellent aunt. You love me when I’m right, correct me when I’m wrong. You care for the royal family you serve, even though they couldn’t care less about us. I still can’t wrap my mind around it.”
I leaned my head against his shoulder. “Thank you. I needed to hear that.” And while something in me still thrummed with unease, I pressed my face deeper into the familiar warmth of him until it quieted.
I’m safe here, I told myself. David knows me.
We were peasants together, ones who would be blissfully married soon.
“You’re welcome. And you’re going to be a wonderful wife. Did I mention that yet?” He pulled me between two trees, out of the palace’s line of sight.
“What are you—” He put his back to the trunk, drawing me toward himself. Giggles burst from my chest.
“Shh!” he joked. “There’s guards everywhere!”
A grin lit my face as I looked up into the eyes of a man who adored me. I stepped closer and placed my hands against his chest. “You’re a guard, you dolt.”
“Then you’re already in trouble,” he teased, wrapping his hands around my waist and pulling me against his warmth.
I sank into the familiar embrace as he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine.
I let myself get lost in the rhythm of a song I’d listened to for years, one that I’d memorized the melody of.
All stupid, self-absorbed princes forgotten.