Chapter Thirteen
I suck in a breath.
No one’s ever said anything like that to me before. People would barely give me the time of day back in Nottingham, let alone apologize. Let alone offer to do whatever I wanted.
And...goddammit.
I want to stand my ground. I want to be tough. I want to tell him to fuck off, go die for all I care, to shove his apology up his ass and rot in hell.
But another part of me, a bigger part of me, wants to let him be sorry. To let it be real. Let it be possible to...what?
To get better. To heal.
I clench my fist and bite the inside of my cheek so hard I taste blood.
Fuck, I don’t know.
It seems impossible. Like it’d take some literal magic to mend everything back to where it was.
Although literal magic is literally real, I remind myself.
And all this while Rob is holding his gaze firm on me. Will, meanwhile, is darting looks from him to me to him again.
“I wouldn’t hold your breath, my friend,” he says after another long moment. “That does not look like the face of a woman in a forgiving mood.”
“No, I...” Well, he isn’t wrong. I’m not sure what kind of mood I’m in, except for an...electric one. Like there’s too much emotion for all the circuitry wired into me. I shake my head. “I just...I want to forgive you,” I admit, and I can’t resist adding, “you absolute piece of shit rich boy bastard. But—”
“But what?” Rob says. “You want to, so do it.” He flashes a grin just shy of truly cocky. “I told you I’d take my lumps. Whatever you want, from a slap on the wrist on up.”
Will shoots him a look that says don’t push your luck, and Rob draws back just a bit.
“But,” Will prompts me. “You were saying?”
I chew my lip, stare at the ceiling, trying to reason through it, figure out why I just can’t quite do it.
“Because I don’t want to be weak,” I say at last. “I don’t want to be a pushover. The dumb girl who just, you know. Swoons back into your arms.”
“Weak? The woman who hotwired a car, broke into government property, and stole her own identity back?” Rob blinks, dares a half-smile. “I don’t think anyone would ever think that about you, pretty lady.”
“Hey.” Will says, and presses a hand to Rob’s chest, warning in his voice. Again, a look passes between them. Something like, don’t invalidate her emotional experience, if they had the vocabulary for that.
“Look,” Rob says, his voice skirting back towards serious. “You name it, I’ll do it. Whatever proof you need that I’m really fucked up over what I did. I’ll walk through the desert. I’ll whip myself bloody. I’ll throw myself on hot coals—”
“Whip yourself bloody?” Will asks, breaking the tension. “Hot coals? Come on, man, what fun would that be for her?”
None of this is funny, and yet I’m so relieved that Will has relaxed a bit that I smile. Then I wince.
“Yeah, I wouldn’t really...like any of that.”
Rob shakes his head. “But I’ve gotta do something, Maren. Something to make you feel like...not a pushover.”
I purse my lips. “I’m...listening. But I’m not into causing pain just to feel retribution.”
I can’t help it; my mind flashes to Guy.
I’d flay them like animals.
I shiver.
“And that’s the right attitude,” Will says. He puts his hands on his hips, thinking. “Ask me, it should be more about what she wants than what you don’t want. More discipline than just swinging your dick around,” he adds, coughing, “so to speak.”
Rob rolls his eyes. “Here I am, trying to be sincere, and you’ve gotta make it into some kind of joke. Anyway, you got a better idea?”
Will says nothing. He just shoves his hands in his pockets, looks at Rob, then at me—a long look. I feel the heat creeping up from my collarbone before I even register what’s happening, before my mind clicks into what’s going on here.
Because in the last few seconds, Will’s gaze has changed. It’s intensified, ratcheted up.
There are wheels turning behind those eyes, but in a different direction than before.
“I might,” he says in a gravelly voice, “if Maren trusts me.”
My hands are shaking a little. When did that start? I fold them in my lap and try to ignore it.
“Depends on what you’re thinking,” I answer.
Will stares at Rob, long and hard. There’s a lifetime in that stare, a fierce kind of knowing that goes beyond anything I could ever be privy to. And Rob feels it, too, because for once he doesn’t crack another joke, doesn’t even move. Just lifts both eyebrows, waiting.
Finally, Will swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing.
“I’m thinking...I’m thinking...” He rubs his jaw, sighs. “Let me put it this way.” He drops to a knee front of me. “You’ve got a key to this place now, Maren, right? You can leave anytime you want and come back in whenever you want. And none of us can stop you, because the key’s in your hands.”
“Sure,” I say, unsure of where this is going. “That’s how keys work.”
The corner of Will’s mouth goes up. “Right. So you get power that way. Control. No pushover there.”
I nod. Sure. Keep going.
“Right. So, that’s the feeling you want to feel. That you’ve got the power now, and...” His eyes flick to Rob. “Maybe that he doesn’t, so much.”
Something in his voice is...different.
And it stirs something inside me.
“Uh huh,” I murmur.
“What I propose is...well, I want to give you more than just a literal key,” Will goes on. “I want to put you in control of everything.”
“Okay,” I say, still not fully following.
Or maybe I follow a little.
Maybe he...
I swallow, and my racing heart hopes against hope that this is going where I think it might be going.
Because between the steady rumbling of Will’s voice and the closeness of his body and the tension I can feel vibrating through all three of us...
I shift in my seat.
It’s doing something to me.
“So, same principle.” Will shrugs. “We could just...do something enjoyable, and keep you in charge. All whatever you want. You say the word, and it all stops. You only ever go back in if you want. Otherwise, everything stays locked up tight.” He does a little zip-lip gesture in front of his mouth. “The key you get is whatever you say.”
I can’t help it. “Like a...safe word?”
Something like delight flickers briefly in Will’s eyes, then disappears. His throat bobs again.
“Something like that.” His voice is coal-dark now, hungry.
“The fuck are you on about, you bastard?” Rob growls.
Will rises swiftly and claps his hand over Rob’s mouth. I almost gasp at the suddenness of it, the force.
“The lady didn’t say you could speak,” Will mutters. Rob’s eyes widen, his jaw tensing, but he doesn’t tear away. Will’s hand strains as he glares down at me.
“I think if it’s going to be a punishment, it ought to be one that makes you feel good, Maren. Don’t you agree?”
“I guess so,” I say, more timid than I want to.
“You guess so?” Will says, pressing his palm harder against Rob’s mouth. “Or you’re certain?”
I look at Rob, as helpless as I’ve ever seen him, held in place by the easy, masculine strength of his best friend, and heat blooms all down my body.
I find my voice. “Certain.”
“Good.” Will releases Rob with the tiniest shove, and Rob sucks in a breath, rubbing his jaw like it’s sore.
“Was anyone going to ask me about this?” he says, taking a step closer to Will.
Will smirks. “No.”
In a single, fluid motion, he pushes Rob right in the chest, sending him stumbling back over his feet and right into the side chair behind him.
“That’s kind of the point.”
Rob starts to get to his feet, but Will stops him: two strides over and a hand to the sternum.
“Uh-uh. Stay there.” He flashes a glance at me. “Assuming that’s what Maren wants.”
I nod, my mouth hopelessly dry.
Will smiles. “Use your words, pretty lady.”
Hearing Rob’s pet name for me out of Will’s curling lips sends a jolt of arousal deep into me.
“Stay there,” I repeat.
From God knows where, Will produces a thin leather strap, and before Rob can move, can leave his chair, his wrists are yanked behind him, bound together.
“What do you think?” Will steps back, tips his head at his handiwork. “Should he stay there, Maren?”
“Mmhm,” I manage. My fingers tighten with need, struggling to stay still.
“Words, Maren.”
“Stay,” I say again, my voice trembling but loud.
“Perfect.” Will smiles. “Now. What do you want?” He looks at me, cocks his head. “From me, from him. Anything.”
My pulse skitters, my mind wheeling. Half-formed images, sounds carousel through my imagination, all primal, forceful. Almost too much for me to parse. I clench my fingers around my seat, eyes fluttering shut.
“Choice is a lot,” Will remarks. “Maybe some boundaries. Or...a suggestion or two?”
I look up into his face—hopeful, expectant, even as I can tell his blood is running as hot as mine.
I nod. “Sure.”
He nods back. “All right.” He throws a glance at Rob, then at me. “What we could do, Maren, is I could take you, right here. Bend you over this couch”—he skates a palm over the black leather surface—“and fuck you so hard you’ll break glass when you scream. And that poor bastard will have to watch every second, every movement, every little shiver of your skin and flutter of your pretty little eyelashes, without being able to move a damn muscle.”
Yes . It’s an instinct more than a full thought, a feeling more than words or a sentence. My body knows it—warm, tingling, my nipples already swelling against my shirt. All I can do is nod.
“Words, Maren,” Will says gently, even as his eyes spark with delight. “Use your words. Say what you want.”
“Yes,” I say, somehow. “Fuck me, Will.”
Will grins—wicked and he knows it. “Good girl.”
He curls a smile at me. “Now, come here.”
He beckons for me, looking for all the world like a silver-haired fallen angel. When I don’t move, he frowns.
“Don’t make me repeat myself.”
The command in his voice is unmistakable. I rise, unsteady at first, and go to him. He grabs my arm, gentle but sure, and even the press of his palm sends a ricochet right to the slick center of me.
“May I?”
In his seat, Rob stirs, curving his neck like he doesn’t want to watch and can’t resist watching all at once.
He’s powerless. And I’m not.
“Yes,” I tell Will.
“Good.”
He leans down and nips my neck, sending a hot shock through my system. Swift as anything, he pulls his mouth away, turns my face to his and kisses me, his lips soft and sure but his tongue firm, demanding. As he does, he snakes a hand down my front, finds the top of my shorts, slips his fingers to circle my already-swollen clit.
“ Hnh. ” I startle but don’t pull away, don’t stop the kiss, just take it deeper, let him go deeper, swirling, teasing.
When he finally releases me, we’re both breathless.
Will turns back to Rob, and a fresh wave of arousal crashes over me, realizing anew that he’s there, watching, and visibly straining at the sight.
He wants this too. Wants me.
But doesn’t get me. Not for now.
The thought vibrates through me, powerful, bolstering.
I stand straighter, lift my head as I watch Will bring his still-wet hand to his lips and suck the tip of his index finger.
A single, gritted syllable escapes Rob’s mouth. “Fuck.”
“She tastes good.” Will darts a look at me. “You taste good, Maren.”
A burst of boldness flares in my chest. “Of course I do.”
Will sucks in a breath, surprised.
Rob shudders.
Will takes me by the hip, whispers into my neck. “Let’s show him how it’s done, shall we?”
I smile. “Yes. Let’s.”
Will nods and pushes me forward, surprisingly forceful, bending me at the waist until my palms rest flat on the leather. The position puts me directly in front of Rob’s face, his eyes hazy with something I can’t quite name.
“Look at her,” Will whispers, his voice harsh and commanding. He hooks his fingers at my waistband, strips me bare from the waist in a single motion. “You see how much she wants this?”
His palm smooths itself over my ass, then slides under my shirt to squeeze my breast, twist my hardened nipple into a peak. I move into his touch, biting my lip against a moan.
“Don’t hold back, Maren,” comes Will’s voice. “Not if you want to. Show him how good it feels.”
I close my eyes, lean my weight back into his hips even as I press forward into his hand, and let the sound escape my lips.
“Perfect.” Will says.
“ Fuck. ”
My eyes flutter open at Rob’s voice. I glance up, gaze half-lidded, to see him tense in his seat, eyes aflame and cock unmistakably hard beneath his jeans.
“Did she say could speak?” Will barks. He pinches my nipple for good measure, eliciting another moan from deep in my belly. “Tell him, Maren.”
“I...unh.” The words barely escape my throat, but I swallow, strain for control. “No talking.”
“That’s right. Good girl.” Will sucks in a breath, like he’s suddenly struggling to hold on. “Maybe we make him watch you try something new. You think? Because I want...” He stops, breathing hard, his own control slipping as his cock firms against the pressure of my ass. “I want to hit you. Right here.” He pulls his hand back, skims just below the small of my back.
“Yes,” I manage. “Do it.”
His palm strikes my ass, stinging, and the wave that clenches through me is so intense I wonder briefly if I already came. But no—not yet.
Except God, I want to.
The force of the blow jerks my gaze up, and I see Rob’s face, the pure torture in his eyes, the agony of watching me, and it only sends another flood down my body, to that firm wet point where I’m practically wrapped around Will’s trouser-clad thigh.
“Good?” Will asks. “More?”
“Yes.”
Will spanks me, again, and then again, the blows getting harder and harder, the pain building. Until it stops.
I whimper, and a deep laugh rolls out from behind me.
“God, she’s perfect.” Will’s palm rubs against my sore, aching flesh. “You like that half as much as I did, Maren, and I’ll—”
“Yes,” I murmur, interrupting. And glance at Rob. “I did. I want you, Will.” I bite out every word. “I want you to fuck me.”
Rob’s jaw tenses, his eyes locked on mine.
And I don’t break away.
Not when I feel Will shift, hear his clothes softly hit the ground. Not when the blunt, smooth pressure of him slides against my entrance and I feel myself drip on and around him, not even as he cups my breasts.
“Are you ready for this?” Will says—though to Rob or to me, I don’t know.
“Yes,” I tell him. I don’t know who’s punishing who anymore, but I don’t care. I press back against Will’s cock, feeling it slip into me, pushing, pushing. “Please.”
“Whatever you want,” he murmurs. “Anything.”
He thrusts, and my head spins.
I gasp as he fills me, smooth and slick, again, again, and I press into his hands, forcing the firm flesh of my nipples between his fingers, arching my back and tipping my neck upward.
It’s good. It’s so, so fucking good.
And Rob knows it.
“She likes that. Don’t you, Maren?” Will’s voice comes from behind me, his tone a sharp, taunting challenge. “Look at me.”
Will’s fingers curl around my hip, and at first I’m confused, not sure how to move, where to go. But then Will speaks again.
“That’s it,” he rumbles. “Look at me. Look at me while I make her come.”
My cheeks burn, realizing what he’s saying. Will’s grip tightens, and he starts to thrust harder, faster.
“Fuck, Will,” Rob mutters.
“Mmm.” Will’s voice is a growl. “I know. She’s perfect.”
I let my gaze drift slowly, gradually forward so I can look at Rob. There’s a feral energy radiating off him, his erection pushing against his jeans, and nothing he can do.
Nothing he can do, and everything I can.
“There you go, Maren,” Will says. “Watch him while I take you. Make him wish he were buried deep inside you like I—”
“ Fuuuck, ” Rob groans.
“You love this, don’t you, Maren?” Will continues, his voice tight.
“Yes,” I say. It’s true. I don’t care. It’s true. Whatever the fuck this is, I want it.
“Good.” Will thrusts, deeper, and a moan escapes me. “Now, make me come.”
The suddenness of the command is like a shock straight to my core. But the surprise only lasts a moment before a bigger one hits.
“Make him come, Maren.”
I look up, look at Rob, and something flashes between us. A challenge? A plea?
“You heard me,” Rob says. “I want you to make him come, Maren.”
Goddammit, I think. But I’m not frustrated, even. Only amused.
Rob’s figured if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.
Fine, have it your way.
I swivel my head around, back to face Will, and give him a tiny smile. Then, I close my eyes and let myself relax, sinking into the rhythm, into the pleasure.
His thrusts grow deeper, stronger, more erratic, and he grunts.
“You feel so good,” he mutters. “So fucking good. So fucking good. So fucking, fucking—”
“Hang on.”
This time, Rob’s voice throws me off.
“You know,” he goes on, panting from his place in his chair, “I just remembered something.”
Will stops, but only barely, his hands still firm on my hips. “What’s that?” he says, tossing his hair out of his eyes. “And it had better be goddamn important.”
Rob gives a wicked smile. “Just that I’m a fucking shapeshifter.”
In a heartbeat, Rob’s form disappears, morphing to a flash of auburn fur and sinewy muscle and then back to human, the leather bonds falling useless to the floor. He strides over to me.
“Much better.” He tips up his chin with my finger, so I’m staring up his naked chest into his eyes. “Is that what you wanted?”
“You’re not playing fair,” Will growls.
“Since when do I play fair?” Rob smirks. “And anyway, I wasn’t asking you. Maren.” Rob’s fingers brush my chin, my jaw. “Is this what you wanted?”
“I...” I stammer, still stretched achingly tight around Will. I nod. “Yes. I want...” I can barely think straight. “Both.”
I don’t even know what that means, can barely remember my own name as Will slides into me with his full length once again. But I know it’s true.
I know what I want.
Will’s hands tighten around my ribcage. “You can have us.”
“We’re yours, Maren.” Rob’s eyes flash, and his mouth descends, crashing onto mine, kissing me. Then he pulls back. “Now open that pretty little mouth for me, would you?”
I can only nod.
“Good girl.”
Rob tangles a hand in my hair and slides his cock deep into my throat.
I sputter, but Will’s palm strokes my thigh, keeps me steady.
“Do you have any idea what you do to me?” Will’s voice is rough in my ear. “You make me want to...to...”
On a shuddering gasp, he plunges into me one last time, just as Rob clutches my hair, fisting it, and spurts hot and hard down my throat.
And I explode.
I don’t know exactly what happens next. Only that I tumble in a tangle of limbs to the ground, in what feels like slow motion, soft and blurred at the edges. Someone lifts me—no, two someones, strong arms, deep murmurs, guiding me to the couch.
I shake my head, blinking, and focus as two concerned pairs of eyes peer into mine.
“She okay?” Rob asks, glancing at Will. Will breaks his gaze on me, looks at him, smirking.
“Ask her.”
I blow out a long, wavering breath. My heart rate is somewhere near apoplectic, my skin sticky and warm and humming like I’m radioactive. I feel...exposed. A little cold.
“Here.” Rob hustles to the corner to retrieve his discarded shirt, then wraps it around my shoulders. He steps back—still completely naked himself—and runs a hand through his hair, almost self-conscious.
“Well,” he says.
“Mm.” Will, still breathing hard, takes the space on the couch next to me, turning my chin to face him, scanning me with genuine concern on his features. “You all right?”
I nod. “Yes,” I say, after a moment. And smile. “Forgot to use my words there.”
Will smiles, too, a little bashful. “Ah, yeah, well...”
“It’s fine,” I say quickly. “It...helped.” I lick my lips and look up at Rob.
He just nods, slowly. “Well...good.” He lifts a hand, almost absentminded, to his shoulder, the one with the scar—the one where I nailed him with that crossbow—and rubs it. Then, as if he noticed what he was doing, he looks at his hand and chuckles. “Guess no one can hit me where it hurts like you, pretty lady.”
In that moment, seeing him there, like that, it all streams together, all the anger and fear and worry and passion and safety and whatever the fuck else these men in the forest can make me feel, and engulfs me.
But I emerge. Still me. A little scarred, maybe.
But scarred means healed.
Wordless, I get to my feet, slip in front of Rob, and press a kiss to his shoulder.