Chapter VIII Maid
VIII Maid
At least there’s a window. It’s the only thing that keeps the terror of being locked somewhere at bay—that and Khay’s promise to be back with a bath soon.
I take in the tower room. It’s not as spacious as my bedroom back home, but it’s sizable enough to contain a large bed with a headboard carved from pale basswood, an old-fashioned wardrobe, a dresser with a basin and jug of water, and a writing desk by the narrow window.
I sit down on the padded bench at the desk and bury my head in my arms, allowing myself a single sob.
This room locks, and the window is too narrow for me to jump out of, even if I managed to break the thick, colored glass. Why, oh why, must Khay sleep with me? After a day of being pressed up against Magnar and getting poked, I hoped for at least a little time to myself.
I desperately need to sort through my thoughts and feelings, because right now, my world is chaotic. Time and again, things turn out to be drastically different from what I expect.
And yes, I’ve never had much time to myself.
I used to be surrounded by servants, teachers, and courtiers almost all the time back in my old life, but at least, the nights were mine.
If my father felt the need to come and look at me when I slept, he did so discreetly.
I only know about this habit of his because I woke up a few times when he was breathing hard, hidden in a shadowy nook of my room.
He explained he wanted to make sure his prize was safe and apologized for waking me.
I look around again, wondering where Khay will sleep. There is one bed. I suppose he might lie on the floor—he’s probably used to it after sleeping in a tent.
Last night, I fell asleep while he was in my room, rocking back and forth in the chair at the foot of my bed. I don’t know where he slept then, if he did at all.
The key scrapes in the lock, and Khay comes in, holding the door open.
Two Agnidari soldiers heave in a large copper tub.
Water sloshes over the lip as they put it in the middle of the room.
It’s steaming hot, and I sigh in relief that at least I’ll be able to wash off the sweat and discomfort of today.
The heat might help my aching muscles, too.
The soldiers leave without a word. Khay lights a few candles, dispersing the thickening darkness, and leans his back against the door.
I look between him and the tub, impatient to start washing.
“Oh, not this again,” he shakes his head with exasperation. “Look, there are no females in this castle to help you, and I am your knight. It’s fine.”
I blink at him, uncomprehending. “What do you mean? What… Knights don’t help with bathing.”
“Yes, we do,” he says, folding his arms on his chest. “Agnidari knights have a special bond with their king and queen. We are the most trusted. And yes, you might get a female maid or two after a long vetting process if that’s what you want, but right now, Magnar won’t trust anyone but me and the other knights with your safety.
It’s better if you get used to it sooner rather than later. ”
I swear my head is about to burst from the absurdity of his words. “But you’re a man!” I explode, jumping to my feet. “You can’t help with my bath! It’s ridiculous!”
Khay looks up at the ceiling and heaves a long, frustrated sigh.
“Not to an Agnidari. I am your knight, and it trumps everything, because my loyalty is absolute. Who would you rather help you bathe, your knight whom you know and trust, or a random woman who might cut your throat while you’re naked and vulnerable? ”
“I neither know nor trust you,” I say through clenched teeth, thwarting the anger building in my chest. “Please, leave. I’ll be fine on my own.”
He watches me, his lips obstinately pursed. Finally, he gives me a sharp nod.
“I’ll be just outside. Call me when you need your back scrubbed.”
The door closes with a soft click, and I study it with rising panic. There is no way to lock it from the inside since I don’t have a key. Anyone could walk in while I bathe. Khay may very well change his mind and barge in without invitation.
I consider going to sleep in my riding clothes without washing up, and my skin crawls. I am grimy, sweaty, and exhausted. The water looks hot and inviting.
Finally giving in, I pull the padded bench to the door to block it, knowing it won’t stop an Agnidari if one chooses to come in.
It does give me a semblance of comfort, though, so I leave it there and strip as fast as I can, undoing the many hooks and ribbons holding my outfit in place.
The torn petticoats are clean enough, but my chemise reeks of sweat.
Good thing Khay brought my bag with traveling necessities.
I tug off Magnar’s underthings without giving them a single glance. Ignoring them is the only way not to remember the way his calloused hands felt on my inner thighs, and how not entirely unpleasant it was.
When I get in the bath, I instantly forget all my troubles.
The hot water unknots my aching thighs and washes off my worries, and I sigh and tilt my head back, leaning it against the lip of the tub.
I could do with a soft towel to support my neck, but even without one, it’s amazing.
The tub is just big enough to lie back with my knees bent.
I could submerge completely if I curled up.
I suppose it’s one advantage of riding with the Agnidari. There’s no way human servants could have carried such a large tub filled with water up the stairs.
There’s a bar of soap in a wicker basket hanging on the outer side, and I gingerly bring it to my nose.
It smells like foreign spices, sweet with a tang of sharpness, and a bit like fruit.
I sigh in bliss and leisurely wash my skin, breathing in deeply.
I’d love to wash my hair, but I don’t think I can rinse it out properly without help.
It’s quiet outside, no sounds carrying up to my tower. The candles sizzle, and dusk deepens beyond the window, turning into night. The first moon, the knight, rises over the horizon, bright and beautiful. A dark silhouette of an owl flies across the moonlit sky.
I drift off, carried under by bone-deep exhaustion, lulled by the heat and the luxury of finally being alone. I am so exhausted, no thoughts or memories penetrate through the fog in my brain. It’s utterly perfect.
*
Oh no.
I wake up cold and unable to breathe. I splash around, trying to breathe in, only to inhale water. Disoriented and scared, I can’t get out. My hands slip on everything I touch.
No, no, no.
The longer I can’t breathe, the more I panic until I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, until it’s hopeless.
I think I’ll die, drowned in bathwater like a ninny, when a pair of strong arms pulls me out. My wet back is pressed to someone’s hot body, and big arms wrap around my middle, helping me bend over as I cough, cough, cough.
Water and tears run down my face, and I heave in deep breaths of blessed air, only to cough more. It’s ugly and painful, but at least I’m alive.
A large, warm hand runs down my back soothingly. “There. You’ll be all right. Just let the water pass. You’ll be fine.”
When my breathing calms down enough for me to get my bearing, I moan in shame. Khay holds me, and I’m naked, terrified, and shivering from the cold. My breasts are squished under his forearm. His thighs press to my bum.
“L-l-let go,” I demand through chattering teeth.
“No.”
I shake my head with a whine of distress. “You h-have t-t-to leave!”
Still holding me, Khay reaches for a large, soft towel resting on the foot of the bed. He covers my front, keeping my back pressed tightly against him.
“No, little diamond. You lost your bathing alone privilege when you almost drowned yourself.”
I groan, trying to slip out of his hold, but it’s useless. He’s bigger and stronger than me.
“I didn’t d-d-do it on purpose!” I defend myself.
Khay snorts. “That’s even worse. Come on now. Let’s get you dry and warm.”
I shake my head mutely, squeezing my eyes shut. I can’t force him to leave, I can only endure it, so I make myself still and numb and try to forget he’s here. Any moment now, he’ll try to take liberties, and I am helpless to stop him.
I shiver harder and harder when Khay pulls away, wrapping the towel all around me, then gently squeezes water out of my hair.
He hums a slow melody, something pensive and repetitive, lines of sound unspooling and weaving all around each other with minor variations.
Despite myself, I listen, the melody wrapping around me just like the towel, and then, Khay’s arms.
He picks me up and presses my curled up form to his body, sitting on the bed. There, he grabs a blanket and arranges it around me until I’m swathed in fabric. He dries my hair with a loose part of the towel, humming still.
My teeth stop chattering. I cough softly, and Khay presses me closer, never stopping the humming melody. He is big and solid, and when he doesn’t try to uncover or fondle me, I begin to relax.
One by one, my tense muscles soften. I sigh and shuffle around my impromptu nest, getting more comfortable. Khay holds me close, chasing the last of the chill away. I’m warm, and inexplicably, impossibly, safe.
“You can sleep if you want,” he says in a hoarse voice after a while when I lie completely still, warm and cocooned in his lap. “I’ll bring you supper to bed, even though Magnar will throw a fit if you’re not at the table with us.”
I blink my heavy eyelids open. Outside, it’s completely dark, the room lit only by the mellow light of the candles. Clouds must have covered the moons.
Khay’s breathing is even and slow.
“I… Yes, I’d rather eat here.”
He hums in agreement. “Good. I’ll be back with your supper soon. Please don’t go near the water while I’m away.”