Chapter 14 - Bed #2
Thunder crashes outside much closer than before. I arrest a flinch, clenching my jaw. I’m usually good at handling storms if I pay attention, but Khay distracted me.
“You… You slept in my bed yesterday?”
Gods, I don’t remember it at all.
Khay nods. “The queen must always have someone by her side. It’s tradition. You are a cherished treasure, and what sort of knight would I be to let you sleep alone? What if an assassin comes in at night?”
The taste of mint in my mouth reminds me I haven’t finished brushing my teeth.
I turn back to the basin and rinse my mouth, thinking frantically what to do.
When lightning blazes outside, followed by the horrid crash of thunder, I almost yelp from shock.
Truth is, I always hated being alone on stormy nights.
I am so, so tired.
And I trust Khay, don’t I?
With a sigh, I give in and blow out the candle, finding my way to bed in the dark.
“So I can’t sleep alone?” I whisper, sliding under the cool sheets.
Khay is right. The bed is big enough, and our bodies don’t even brush. If he lies still, I’ll forget he’s even here.
“No,” he murmurs, voice sleepy. “Either Magnar or one of us has to stay with you. Sometimes more than one. Sometimes all. Depending on what kind of queen you’ll be. There’s this huge bed at the keep in the queen’s rooms… Would be so nice…”
Thunder crashes just outside the window, so forceful, the panes shake. I gasp, flinching, and Khay makes a sleepy noise of curiosity.
“You scared of the storm?”
“N-not scared as such…” I begin, but stop when he murmurs and shuffles, his legs touching mine.
Khay puts his arm around me and tugs me into him until I’m warm and snug, my back to his front.
A protest sits on the tip of my tongue, but more lightning paints the room white for a terrifying heartbeat, and I give in.
He makes a satisfied noise and buries his face in my hair, his breath warming my scalp.
“See? I’m here to protect you from the big, bad storm. Now sleep. Goodnight.”
I sigh and get comfortable, falling asleep before the next thunder rolls outside.
When I wake up, gray predawn light seeps gloomily into the room. Khay’s arms are tight around me, and he grunts with pleasure, his hips rolling into me from behind. I freeze half-yawn, realizing what this is. He’s rutting into me.
His movements are rhythmic and eager, his embrace tight. My body fills part with heat, part shame, and I arrest a needy movement of my hips. They want to press back, meet him head on, but I shouldn’t.
“Khay,” I whisper urgently to wake him, thinking he must be moving through his sleep.
“Mmm, you’re awake?” he murmurs, his voice scratchy with sleep. “Stay, little diamond. Just a little. You’re so soft. And you smell so nice. And I just need a moment, just a…”
His movements speed up, hardness stroking against my buttocks until he presses it into me with a deep groan, his organ flexing with powerful surges. My breathing is fast, shaky, as I lie wide awake, wondering what just happened.
“Shit,” Khay whispers, growing still against me. “Oh, fuck. Magnar will have kittens.”
Then, for an inexplicable reason, he snickers like it’s a joke.
“Oh no,” I close my eyes in horror. “He’ll be angry, won’t he? What did you do, Khay?”
“Came in my pants like a lad,” he says with a chuckle. “No, it’s not that bad. As long as I put nothing inside you, we’re fine. But he will be jealous. Maybe make us ride day and night to get to the keep sooner. Wouldn’t put it past him.”
“I-inside me?” I repeat, considering with horror-struck fascination that I might be filled not just by Magnar, but Khay, too.
“And I won’t,” Khay promises. “Not until it’s time and you let me. Well, rise and shine, little diamond. It’s a beautiful start to the new day. Well, for me. I’d love to return the favor, but the greedy bastard wants your first orgasm for himself. Let me change and get your clothes.”
I blink after him in the graying darkness, stupefied. When I realize I’m rocking my hips and trying to alleviate some of the throbbing between my legs, I flip onto my stomach and groan into the pillow.
Why do they all insist on distracting me? I still haven’t cried properly for my father. And… I gasp, lifting myself on my forearms until I stare at a faded tapestry depicting an ugly landscape.
Gods. Did my father have a funeral? A proper burial? Or was he thrown into a hole in the ground like so many other slaughtered soldiers? I don’t know because I never asked!
Horrible, horrible daughter.
Unencumbered by a hangover and shockingly well rested after sleeping in Khay’s arms, I jump out of bed and wash my face in the basin.
When Khay comes with my clothes fully dressed, thank Lirande, my hair is already brushed.
I command him tersely like I would a maid, determined not to let any more distractions happen today.
But as Khay braids my hair, and I see his miserable expression in the spotted mirror, I can’t ignore him. Whether I like it or not, I care for him quite a lot, and his misery causes me pain.
“What’s the matter?”
He purses his lips, watching me with dark eyes creased with worry. “I can tell you’re angry, and I… I apologize, my queen. I didn’t ask your permission this morning before I… Well, I did wrong. I’m sorry. You can punish me as you see fit.”
I raise my eyebrows, intrigued. “Punish you?”
He nods vigorously, as if eager for me to take interest. “Yes. The queen can discipline her knights if they displease her. You can deliver the punishment yourself or order me to do something unpleasant.”
“And how does Magnar usually punish you?”
Khay shrugs as he slides the last pin into place, my braid having turned into an elegant bun on my nape. “He doesn’t. It’s the queen’s prerogative.”
When our eyes meet in the mirror, his lips spread in a mischievous smile, his sadness wiped away. Gods, even the prospect of being punished doesn’t keep Khay from smiling.
“I have ideas if you need some,” he says, his eyes glinting. “You can order me to massage your feet every time we stop today, or to drink your bathwater, or make me prostrate on the floor and walk all over me. Or better yet, do all three.”
I can’t hold back a laugh at his antics. “They seem like lousy punishments, since I get the impression you’d enjoy them.”
“Well, you caught me. You can use those as rewards for me, too. I’m not picky.”
Khay helps me to my feet, and I turn to him, my mind made. This is my chance to get some peace at last, so I can force myself into a proper state of mourning.
“As your punishment, I’d like you to sleep on the floor from now on.”
His smile vanishes, his eyes wide and aghast. “No! But that’s… Oh, bugger. Fine. As my queen commands. But will you please at least tread on me as you get into bed?”
I rear back, surprised it actually worked. Khay’s mouth twists as he holds back words of complaint, and his fists are clenched, but he doesn’t even try to make me change my mind. He doesn’t laugh, telling me it was a joke. That no woman will ever command him.
He accepts my punishment.
I have half a mind to take it back, seeing how unhappy he is, but—no. I must do what I can to get myself back on track, or this guilt will crush me. Sleeping with Khay is for a good princess. It’s pleasant, warm, safe, and everything else I crave, and so, I cannot have it.
I must repent.