12. Chloe
A fter Marcus gave me the most mind-blowing orgasm, without ever really touching me, I wasn’t sure how things would be between us. Naturally, I spent the whole night tossing and turning, wanting nothing more than to reach down, to alleviate the throbbing ache between my thighs, but all I could think about were his instructions.
Logically, I knew there was no way he’d know if I decided to touch myself—at least, I don’t think he would—yet something still held me back. The experience with him was so much more than just having the most intense orgasm of my entire life.
For the first time in a very long time, I actually felt in control of myself. I’ve always felt betrayed by my body, hating the way it shows how I feel, even when I don’t want it to.
I know all teenagers probably dealt with that at some point, particularly teenage boys getting a hard-on at the most inconvenient of times. But for me, it’s not about the way my cheeks flush when I’m trying to pretend I’m not thinking about Marcus. Those slight giveaways, I could handle .
My issue is with the way my body reacts even when my mind is telling it to behave another way. The way my nipples peak as though I’m interested, even though I’m completely terrified. Or the way my pussy gets wet when my clit receives any attention, even if my brain is screaming that I’m not actually enjoying it.
I’ve always hated that lack of control, knowing I might come, even when I really fucking don’t want to.
What Marcus gave me back was so much more than just control. He showed me that my body is mine, and if I don’t want something to happen, no matter how hard or painful it may be, I can stop it.
I wanted nothing more than to give in to him after the first time he brought me to the edge. I wanted to lose myself in his touch. I wanted to experience the pleasure he was capable of giving me, but he never lost sight of what he was trying to teach me, and I’m so grateful for that.
Even when I was begging and pleading with him, offering him anything and everything he might want, he never relented. He showed me that even though he was the one who controlled my pleasure, and ultimately gave me permission to find my release, I was the one with the real control.
I could have orgasmed after the first time he edged me, but by the time he told me I could come, I was so in control that I could have held off had I wanted to—though I very much fucking didn’t want to.
Since he first proposed the idea of me submitting to him, to learn how to control my own body, I thought it was all bullshit. How can you give up control to gain control? But he was right, and although I now wake up each morning very fucking sexually frustrated, I’m also a hell of a lot more empowered than ever before.
I don’t know what I expected to happen after that night, how I thought things might have changed between us, but I definitely wasn’t expecting for nothing to be different.
Every morning, I’d get up and drag my arse into the kitchen for my morning coffee, only to find Marcus already there, my drink waiting for me. We exchange the same pleasantries… Did you sleep well? What are your plans for the day? It’s nice weather today, isn’t it…
Not that I’m complaining, as I like talking to Marcus while we move around the kitchen, both getting ready for the day ahead. At times, we’d venture into slightly more personal questions, getting to know a little about each other as we ate.
But it was like we’d both circle the elephant in the room, not once discussing what happened between us .
We would then just go about our day. Marcus would leave for whatever meeting or job he has that day, and I’d smile and wave him off, before trying to decide what to do with myself.
I met my new security guard, Kim, and it took me a couple of days to get to know her, but I quickly learnt why Miles thought she’d be the best fit for me.
She’s such a quiet, unassuming person, but that never stops her from voicing her opinion if I want to do something she thinks is unsafe.
There were a lot of butting heads at first, but we quickly got to know each other, and now I actually don’t mind her being around all the time.
She’s easy to talk to, and despite my father drilling it into me from an early age that our staff are not our friends, I’m starting to consider Kim as one.
Once we created boundaries, and she explained to me what she needs to do to keep me safe, we started to work together. I told her all about my desire to learn more about baking, and she did some research to find a class that I could attend.
She needed to make sure the building was secure, and that the instructors passed all her security checks, but once she gave her approval, I signed up without hesitation.
The class was only for a couple of hours each day, but they’re the most free I’ve ever felt. For the first time in my life, I’m doing what I want to do, and I’m loving every minute of it.
As soon as I’d get home from the class, I’d jump straight into the kitchen, practising the techniques I learnt that day, whilst making dinner for that evening.
Although Marcus has never asked me to do this, it kinda feels like the only way I can contribute. He’s at work all day, the least I can do is make him a nice meal for when he gets home.
The first couple of days he came home to find the meal ready and waiting for him, I could tell he was surprised. He looked at me with that intense gaze of his, assessing me to see if there was something he was missing, if I had an ulterior motive.
Every time he looked at me suspiciously, I’d roll my eyes and remind him that it’s just food. I’m not poisoning him, and I’m certainly not doing it so I can get something out of him. It’s nothing more than a way to thank him.
It took a couple of days, but he stopped looking at me suspiciously, and started actually looking forward to whatever I was cooking that day.
He came home late on Saturday, looking like he hasn’t slept in weeks, and I wasn’t really sure what to do. Although we’ve settled into this comfortable existence where we talk about inconsequential things and eat meals together, I’m not sure we are friends. Yet, at this moment, I think a friend is exactly what he needs.
Marcus brings over a bottle of wine as I place the food I’ve made on the table. We don’t normally have wine, so it must have been a long day for him.
When he left this morning, I could see the bags under his eyes, and the paleness to his skin that had been getting progressively worse over the last couple of days, but even compared to this morning, he looks exhausted.
“How was your day?” he asks as he sits down, taking a slightly larger than normal gulp of his wine straight after.
“It was good, thank you. We learnt how to make different sugar flowers today, and I had a lot of fun practising. My first few didn’t even resemble flowers, but by the end of the class, I think I got the hang of it,” I reply, unable to keep the smile off my face as I think about how much fun I had in class.
I’m almost at the point where I could attempt to make my first real celebration cake, but there are still a few more techniques I want to learn before I try.
“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself.” The small smile he throws my way is so genuine, and I have to avoid thinking about how much that tiny gesture makes my heart race.
“What about you? How was your day? You look like you’ve had a particularly rough one,” I say, hoping I’m not pushing things too far between us.
Marcus is very particular, and doesn’t really like to talk about his work. He will give me a rough overview of if he’s had a good day or not, but that’s about the extent of it.
I learnt after the first day that there’s no point asking, as he’ll just ignore me, so I have no idea what prompted me to push him today.
He lets out a sigh before taking another sip of wine. “It’s been a fucking long day,” he replies with a groan, running his fingers through his hair as soon as he’s placed his wine glass down.
His long dark locks stick up at all angles, making him look completely ruffled in the best way, and I have to bite my lower lip to keep from staring at him.
It’s so unfair that even in his most exhausted state he manages to look fucking gorgeous , I think to myself.
“What happened?” I ask, taking a bite of my potatoes.
Marcus looks at me for a moment, but there’s no malice in his eyes. He seems to be warring with himself, and so I keep quiet while he works through whatever is going on in his head.
After a short time, he lets out a huff followed by a sigh. “Things have been a little…rough lately between your family and mine. Jacob isn’t really speaking to me, and your arsehole fiancé, Scott, is making things difficult at every turn.
“I found out today that Scott is gathering his resources. He’s doing it discreetly, and he’s not left any sort of usable trail, but it’s not hard to see what he’s doing. When he marries you, he plans to have Jacob ousted so that he can take over?—”
Before he even had the chance to finish the rest of his story, I cut him off, blurting out the first thing that came to my head. “That would mean starting a war with you.”
Marcus slowly nods his head, his lips pressed together in a tight line. “Exactly. I think he plans to become the leader of your family, and with the Santoro resources, combined with his family supporters, he’d stand a very good chance in a war against me.”
I shake my head in disbelief. “That will never happen. There’s no way my dad will hand over the reins to anyone except Jacob. He’s his heir,” I point out the obvious.
Marcus’ eyes scrunch up as he grimaces. “Sadly, Jacob has been going further and further off the rails recently. He’s making lots of mistakes, and even though I’ve been trying to cover for him, word is slowly reaching people.
“He’s making your family look weak, and that’s something your dad will not tolerate. Jacob isn’t exactly hiding the fact he doesn’t want this job, and the people aligned with your family are starting to notice.
“If they start to question his ability to lead, it will make it very fucking easy for Scott to stage the rebellion I can see coming from a mile away.”
As soon as he’s finished speaking, his whole body seems to sag, like the weight he’s been carrying around with him has been lifted.
He appears almost lighter, and I can’t help the small smile that spreads across my lips at the thought that opening up to me has helped to relieve some of his burden.
Now I just need to think how I can actually help him…and my wayward brother.
“We need to come up with a plan to fix this. Blackthorn will go to shit if Scott gains power. I know the most obvious solution would be for me not to marry him, as he can’t gain any of our power if he doesn’t marry into the family, but it’s not as simple as that. We also need to make not only Dad, but all the people who work for us, see that Jake is a good leader,” I explain, my brain ticking away as I try to think of a plan.
Marcus chuckles, the hint of a smirk on his face. “Before we do that, we actually have to make Jacob into a good leader. Even if he weren’t getting drunk or high every day, and was taking the job seriously, the fact he hates it means he doesn’t really make an effort.
“It’s clear to anyone paying even the slightest bit of attention that he doesn’t want the job, and until he looks like he wants to rule, nobody will take him seriously,” Marcus says with a shrug of his shoulders.
“How the fuck do we do that? I mean, making other people think he’s a good leader isn’t too hard, as it’s all about creating the right image, but getting Jacob to actually want to do the job, and to do it well…that’s something else entirely,” I snap, sounding a little harsher than I intended.
“There used to be a time when both me and Jacob looked forward to taking over from our fathers. We hated living in their shadows, and wanted the opportunity to prove the sort of leaders we could be. I have no idea when that changed for him.
“I keep trying to think back, to see if there was a catalyst, but I just don’t know. I feel like such a shit friend for not seeing it,” he admits, his cheeks flushing just a little as he shows me a vulnerable side to him that I never expected to see.
“You’re not a shit friend, Marcus. I lived with him, and I have no idea when he changed either, or what caused it.” The words feel like ash on my tongue, and I hate admitting that I missed it too. He’s my brother and I love him… I should have seen the change in him before he became this wild.
“You were going through your own shit,” Marcus says, then he shocks us both by reaching out and placing his hand over mine.
It’s almost like he does it without thinking, and as soon as our skin touches, we both look down at where his big palm is encasing my smaller one.
The skin on the back of my hand is tingling, and I wonder if he can feel it too. He’s looking at his hand like he’s not sure how the hell it got there, and I can see the war in his eyes as he considers pulling away.
I don’t want to lose the warm contact, so I take the decision away from him by turning my hand over and lacing our fingers together.
His eyes are glued on the way our hands fit together, and his breathing appears to speed up slightly. I’m so used to him trying to maintain eye contact with me, I’m a little thrown when his gaze remains locked on our hands.
“I should have noticed you too.” His voice is low, barely above a whisper, but my heart stutters under the intensity of his words.
I squeeze his hand, and this is all it takes for Marcus to lift his big blue eyes up to meet mine, making my stomach flip. “It’s not your job to look after us.”
His eyes narrow as he shakes his head. “Jacob is my best friend, and you… I should have noticed. I knew you were both spiralling, but I can’t pinpoint exactly when it happened. Did something happen to you both? ”
His question catches me off-guard. I don’t like thinking back to that time, but I try to remember if Jacob started acting out before or after me.
“No, or at least, I don’t think so. I have no idea what happened to Jake, but he had already started to drink more and do drugs before…my incident.”
I don’t really know how to explain what happened to me without actually telling him, and although labelling it as an ‘incident’ fucking diminishes what I went through, it’s all I can think of on the spot.
Marcus’ nose crinkles while his other hand tightens into a fist, and I can tell he’s angry on my behalf. I can’t help the way my lips tip up into a smile, as for the first time in a long time, I feel like I actually might have someone who is on my side, someone who will fight for me.
He looks like he’s struggling to find the right words, so I decide to help him out. “We need to find out what Jacob’s trigger was. Until we know why he’s behaving the way he is, we can’t help him. Telling him to do better, to be better, won’t work. We have to get to the root of the problem.”
Marcus lets out a humourless laugh. “You make that sound so fucking easy.”
I shake my head in disbelief. “He’s your best friend. Surely you can talk to him about it?”
This time when Marcus laughs, it’s a full belly laugh. He throws his head back, and the sound echoes around us. He looks younger than I’ve ever seen him, his face and eyes bright with humour, and butterflies flutter in my stomach like I’m a teenager all over again.
“We may be best friends, but we aren’t girls. We don’t talk about our feelings, Chloe,” he chuckles, rolling his eyes at me like I should know that.
I mean, I don’t really have any friends, but I always thought that if I did, the whole point of the friendship would be that the other person is there for you, as a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear when you need them the most. I know guy friendships aren’t exactly the same as girls, but I always assumed they had some version of this.
“But you talk to each other? Couldn’t you find some other way to bring it up?” I ask him, watching his head tilt as he considers my suggestion.
“I mean, I could, but I’m not really sure how,” he admits.
I give him a reassuring smile as I squeeze his hand. “I can help. I will think about how you can approach it, and then we can give it a try.”
Marcus looks at our conjoined hands again, before lifting his gaze to meet mine. His eyes darken and a mischievous look spreads across his face. “We’re having our first check-in dinner with your family tomorrow, so we can make a start then.”
I narrow my gaze at him, wondering what it is he’s not saying. “Why do I get the impression you’re deliberately not saying something? ”
He chuckles before leaning over the table until he’s so close I can feel his breath against my cheek. “Because that’s exactly what I’m doing. You didn’t think I forgot about your punishment, did you?”
My eyes widen as my brows shoot to my hairline. “What?”
His lip tilts into that fucking devilishly sexy smirk of his, and his lips flutter beside my ear. “Get plenty of sleep tonight, Mio. You'll need all your energy for your punishment tomorrow.”