16. Marcus
F our.
That’s the number of times I have wanked to thoughts of Chloe since we left the car yesterday evening. That’s rivalling teenage Marcus when he first discovered boobs, and isn’t something I’ve done to this degree for many years.
I mean, since I started having sex, I haven’t needed to use my own hand all that much. Yet, here I am.
As I watched her fall apart on my fingers, feeling her tight cunt cling to them as her taste flooded my tongue, the only thing I could think about was how my dick would feel in their place. I wanted to pick her up, carry her into my bedroom, and never let her leave.
Sadly, my brain kicked in and I remembered all the reasons I’m supposed to be showing restraint.
She’s starting to learn to control her body, and she’s definitely becoming confident enough to ask for what she wants, but it doesn’t change the fact she’s been through something traumatic, and until I know what it is, going any further with her could be harmful—and I never want to hurt her.
So, begrudgingly, when we got to the apartment yesterday, I made up a lame excuse about having work to do, and I’ve locked myself in my room ever since.
The look of disappointment on her face made my cock twitch, as it’s clear she was expecting for more to happen between us when we got inside. I just need to do this the right way.
I was hoping by this morning, after a wank and some sleep, I’d be able to think with my head instead of my cock, but I’m still just as fucking wound up as I was when I went to bed.
In fact, after a night of dreaming about her moans and the way she tastes, I’m more exhausted and turned on than yesterday.
I couldn’t be more grateful for the strong coffee I grab myself when I stomp into the kitchen, or that she’s not there to torture me with those ridiculously short pyjama’s she sleeps in.
Half way through my second mug, I’m finally starting to feel more human and less like a horny teenager when I hear Chloe’s door open. I keep my gaze firmly locked on the contract I’m reading on my phone, though I have no idea what it says as I’m listening intently to each footstep that brings her closer.
“Morning,” Chloe mutters, her voice low and shy.
I lift my gaze up to meet hers, only to find her staring down at her feet as she shuffles from one to the other. Just as I thought, she’s wearing those stupidly short pyjamas that stop at the top of her thighs. I’m sure if she turns around, I’ll be able to see the swell of her arse.
The top isn’t much better. The straps are tiny, the neckline dips low enough to show off her generous cleavage, and the material is so thin, I can see the outline of her hard nipples poking through.
The hem of the vest stops just above her belly button piercing, showing off a stretch of pale skin between that and the start of her low-hung shorts.
She’s got curves in all the right places, and even though her stomach isn’t as perfectly flat as some people prefer, I happen to like my women more natural, and to me, Chloe is perfect.
Since her eyes are downcast, I allow myself a long moment to appreciate her glorious body, though it causes my cock to harden painfully once more.
“Morning,” I grumble, sounding much more irritated than I intended as I discreetly readjust myself in my sweatpants. “Coffee?”
Her gaze slowly lifts to meet mine, and although the blush on her cheeks spreads, she gives me a small smile and a nod. “Yes, please.”
I stand to grab her a mug, making it just the way I know she prefers, and I turn back to find she’s already grabbed her usual seat on the stool across from me.
Once her drink’s ready, I slide it over to her. “Thank you,” she says as she takes her first sip, the low moan she makes causes my dick to twitch painfully.
This woman is going to be the fucking death of me, I think to myself.
We drink our coffees in silence for a few moments, and although I pick up my phone to make it look like I’m busy, I’ve read the same line around seven times, and I’m still not quite sure what it says.
I’m too busy casting glances at her over my phone, hoping to catch her stealing looks at me.
After a few minutes, Chloe clears her throat awkwardly, trying to get my attention.
“So… I know this is a little embarrassing, but we’re adults… I think we should talk about what happened yesterday,” she says, pulling her back straight in an attempt to look more confident than she sounds.
“Okay,” I reply, dragging the word out in a way that makes it clear she’s the one who needs to do the talking, not me.
She takes a deep breath, the grip on her coffee mug tightening until her knuckles turn white, and she lets out a sigh.
“I, erm, I enjoyed yesterday very much… Well, parts of it… I just, well, I wasn’t sure if you just reacted in the heat of the moment, and would regretithismorning.”
Although she starts off stumbling over her words, the last part tumbles out in a rush, making it hard for me to catch the end.
“What?”
“I’m worried you regret what happened between us, since you broke your rules,” she repeats, her gaze firmly locked on her coffee mug.
I chuckle, which makes her eyes snap up to meet mine. “Yes, you made me lose control, which never happens, but that doesn’t mean I regret it.”
“You don’t?” The way her voice lights up, full of hope, it almost guts me.
“No, I don’t. But I still stand by what was said in the heat of the moment. If you want anything more to happen between us, you have to be honest with me. I’m not saying it just because I want to know, although I do, I’m saying it more to protect you.
“People who’ve experienced trauma can be re-traumatised very easily, and I will not be the person to trigger you,” I explain, and her eyes widen slightly.
“So this whole time you’ve wanted to know so that you wouldn’t hurt me? I thought you wanted to know so you could get revenge.”
I’m sure she can see the dangerous expression that crosses my face as my smirk turns evil.
“Oh, I do plan on getting revenge, but that’s just a benefit. The main reason is to keep you safe.”
“Oh,” she says, her brow furrowed.
“Did you mean it yesterday when you said you were going to tell me? I was worried you were just saying that to get what you wanted,” I admit, watching as she cringes at my words.
Fuck, I never thought she’d lie to me.
She lets out a sigh. “Honestly, I was so desperate for an orgasm yesterday, I would’ve told you anything you wanted to hear. Then, once we got back home, the more I thought about it, the more fear took over.
“I’ve kept this secret for a while, and saying it aloud makes it real. I didn’t lie to you yesterday, but this morning, I’m not entirely sure I can go through with it.”
My stomach rolls and I feel like she’s just stabbed me in the gut. I knew she was in the sort of headspace where she’d have said anything, but I really thought she meant it.
Then again, it probably wouldn’t have changed anything. I wanted her badly enough to break all my own rules, so that’s on me. It’s a mistake I won’t make again.
“Fine. I get it,” I say through gritted teeth.
I swallow the last mouthful of my coffee before going to stand, until I feel Chloe’s hand on mine. She’s leaning over the island, her eyes misty with an almost distraught expression on her face.
“Please, don’t leave,” she whispers.
Fuck, I want nothing more than to give in to her, but I can’t.
“Sorry, I have some work to do,” I mutter, pulling my hand free as I stand from the stool.
I walk towards the exit, but Chloe jumps from her stool and blocks the way. She places her hand on my chest, stopping me from going any further.
“Please, just let me explain.”
“There’s nothing to explain. You’ve made it perfectly clear,” I snap, sounding harsher than I intended.
Chloe grabs hold of my arm and pulls me towards the living room. “Just come and let me explain.”
I don’t know why, but I allow her to drag me until we’re both sitting on the couch. She’s so close, I can feel the warmth from her thigh against mine. I have to block out her fucking fantastic smell, and the way she feels against me, as it almost hurts to think about.
“Fine. What do you want to say?”
She rolls her eyes at my tone. “You’re right, I have experienced trauma. I’ve never talked about it before, and for a long time, I tried to pretend it never happened, but it did, and I’ve never been the same since.
“Even admitting that to you is hard, but not because I don’t trust you—I trust you more than anyone else. It’s just…talking about it makes it real, and brings it all back.
“I’ve spent so long trying to forget, and I’m worried that telling you about it will put me back in a very dark place that I spent a long time clawing my way out of.”
Well, fuck, now I feel like a right jackass.
I focus on my breathing, trying to control the anger enough that she only sees the concern I have for her, as I don’t want to scare her away.
I tuck the rage away into the back of my mind, saving it for when I need to unleash it on the person most deserving of it.
“I understand that, I do, but when you were in that dark place before, you were all alone. Now you have me to help you,” I say, meaning every single word.
She lets out a shuddered breath, and I can see the tears welling in the corner of her eyes, threatening to break free. This time when she speaks, her voice is barely above a whisper, and I have to strain to hear her.
“I’m worried you’ll look at me differently when you know.”
I shake my head vehemently. “No fucking way. There’s nothing you could tell me that will ever change the way I look at you.”
Her eyes widen as she fixes her gaze on mine. “You promise?”
“I promise,” I reply, taking hold of her shaking hand.
She closes her eyes and pulls in a breath, and I let her have as much time as she needs. The silence sits between us, and I rub my thumb along the back of her hand in slow, reassuring strokes, letting her know that I’m still here, and I’m not going anywhere.
“It was about eighteen months ago. My mother set me up on a date with the son of one of her society friends. His father is aligned with Dad, and he agreed that our date would be a good match.
“I’d never met him before, though I remember Jacob saying that he didn’t really like him, so he must know him in some way,” she starts, finally opening her eyes to look at me.
I give her a small, reassuring smile, encouraging her to continue, and she does.
“Although there was nothing formal in place yet, Mother made it quite clear that the outcome of the date would be a marriage contract if she got her way—which she always fucking does,” she snaps, looking murderous.
“I’d been avoiding any dates that could possibly lead to a marriage offer, as it’s the last thing I wanted, but Mother knew what I was doing. She made it clear I couldn’t put it off forever.
“Marrying someone of their choosing, strengthening the Santoro name was quite literally my only job, and the clock was ticking.”
How I manage to keep the hand holding hers from shaking with rage is a fucking miracle. I have to curl my free hand into a fist just to try and claw back some semblance of control. We’re not even at the worst bit of the story, and already I’m angry.
To know her parents were pushing her to marry is one thing, but to make her feel like that’s the only reason she’s here on Earth is something else.
It’s also starting to look like the guy who hurt her was someone her parents set her up with, and if that’s the case, the peace treaty is going to be on really shaky grounds, as I’m going to want to murder them all.
I focus on slowing my heart rate down as I keep my breathing steady, making sure my face doesn’t display any of what I’m feeling. I keep my eyes locked on Chloe as she continues her story.
“I met him at the restaurant, and the date went fine. He wasn’t bad looking, and we got on well enough, but there weren’t any sparks either.
“Although he didn’t do anything that repulsed me, or anything too bad, there were a few things during the date that raised a red flag for me. I can’t remember specifics, but one of them was the way he treated the staff at the restaurant.
“The hostess was a younger girl, and he openly stared at her tits the whole time he spoke to her. Then the waiter who brought us our wine, he spoke to him like he was shit on the bottom of his shoe, looking down his nose at him the whole time.
“And finally, the waitress who served us for the evening, she was a little older, and he kept checking her out as well, making a few inappropriate comments.
“Nothing was really bad, but it was enough to register as red flags for me. That combined with us having very little in common meant that the conversation felt forced. He rarely asked about me, dominating the conversation the whole time with talk of himself, and his inflated ego.
“By the end of the meal, I’d had enough. We didn’t get on… Well, I don’t know if we would have got on as he didn’t care enough to ask anything about me. It was all about him, and I’d seen enough to know that we weren’t a match.”
She pauses, dragging in a shuddered breath, and that’s when I see a lone tear rolling down her cheek. I reach up with my thumb to wipe it away, and the look she gives me guts me .
“You don’t have to tell me any more,” I say, hoping she can hear how genuine I’m being.
For the longest time, I’ve needed to know her secret, and I still maintain for her own wellbeing, I should know it. But now the moment’s here, I’m not sure I can hear it.
I meant what I said before, I’ll never look at her differently, but it’s quickly becoming apparent to me that I care about Chloe enough to feel her pain, and that scares me. I’ve never cared about any one else in that way before, except Miles and Jake.
She gives me a small smile as she says, “I do.”
“Only if you’re sure,” I reply, and she nods her head, squeezing my hand tighter.
“When the date was over, we left the restaurant, and he asked me if I wanted to get a drink with him. I said I was going to head home, but remained polite as I thanked him for a lovely evening—lying through my fucking teeth.
“The moment I turned him down, his expression shifted. He insisted on giving me a ride home. Obviously, I tried to decline, but he said my parents wouldn’t be happy with him if he didn’t do the gentlemanly thing.
“I knew he was mentioning my parents as a threat, but I didn’t know what else to do. So I got in the car with him.”
Her voice cracks at the end, and the tears are now freely flowing down her cheeks. Her eyes look almost empty as she stares blankly, lost in the horrors of her past.
I don’t say anything. Mostly, as I’ve no fucking clue what to say, but also to give her the time she needs. I keep my grip tight on her hand, letting her know that I’m still here.
“The next part is a little fuzzy, but without going into too much detail, he drugged me and took me to this room where he kept me prisoner for around two days.”
My eyes spring wide open at that part, my brows shooting so high they disappear under my floppy fringe. “He fucking kidnapped you?”
She nods slowly, her eyes dropping back to the floor as she lets out a sob. “I’m sorry.”
“What the fuck are you apologising for? Why the hell didn’t I know you’d been kidnapped? Why didn’t Jacob tell me? I’d have helped to find you.”
I know I’m supposed to be staying calm, but I can’t. Anger bubbles under the surface, making my skin itch as fire races through my veins. I’m so fucking furious right now, but then I hear her sob.
I look up to see her staring at me, tears rolling down her face as she shrinks away from me. She thinks I’m mad at her .
“I’m sorry, Chloe. I’m not mad at you, just the situation,” I explain, pulling her close, so I can wrap my arm around her.
She lets out a sob, but leans into me. “Nobody knew,” she whispers, so quietly I can barely hear.
“What?”
“Nobody knew I was missing. He texted my mother to say we were getting on so well that I was going to stay at his beach house for the weekend. Mother was just so pleased we were getting along, she didn’t say anything.
“I’m not sure Dad or Jake even knew I was gone,” she admits with a shrug of her shoulders, like that makes it better.
“Your mother is quickly making it to the top of my shit-list,” I say through gritted teeth.
Chloe lets out a humourless laugh. “She’s on mine too, but she’ll never be at the top.”
I sigh, knowing exactly what she’s not saying. “Were you drugged the whole two days?” I ask, praying that she was.
It’s pretty fucking bad when you’re praying someone was drugged, just so they don’t remember all of the horrors that were inflicted upon them.
“No,” she says quietly. “I woke up in this room, tied to the bed, completely naked. Eventually, when I had proved I could be trusted, and wouldn’t try to escape, he untied all of my limbs except one ankle. He kept that shackled on a long lead, so if by some miracle I managed to break out of the bedroom, I couldn’t get far.”
“Motherfucker!” I snap, letting my emotions get the better of me.
Chloe leans into my side harder, like she’s the one comforting me, and once again I feel like an arsehole.
“It was the worst two days of my life. I hated every second, but most of all I despised the way he’d force my body to betray me. He took pleasure in making my body do whatever he wanted, even though I begged for it not to,” she cries, her tears wetting the fabric of my shirt.
“What do you mean?”
She hesitates, taking a gulping breath as she buries her head further into my chest, hiding from me as she tells me why control is so important to her.
“He liked forcing me to orgasm, even though I wasn’t enjoying myself. He said it was my body’s way of telling me I liked it. Whenever I called it rape, he’d say it must be consensual as people don’t come while they’re being raped. It messed with my head in ways I can’t explain.”
Each word sends a torrent of different emotions swirling through my brain. The murderous rage I feel towards this unknown arsehole is like nothing I’ve ever felt before, but there’s also shame, and that’s all on me .
“I’m so sorry, Chloe. If I’d have known, I’d never have engaged in edging or orgasm denial play with you.”
I hope she can tell just how genuinely sorry I really am.
Chloe pulls away from me until she’s looking me in the eyes, her hard stare no longer vacant. Now, she’s determined, though I can’t ignore the silent tears that are still falling.
“Don’t you dare fucking apologise. Everything that’s happened between us is something I’ve wanted, and have fully consented to. But more than that, I’ve healed more in the last week with you than I have since it happened.
“You taught me that I can control my body, my orgasms, and I can choose who I give them to, which has given me power back that I thought I’d lost.
“Before you even knew what happened to me, you could see I was lost, that I was looking for help in all the wrong places.
“I thought that if I chose who I gave my body to, then it was my decision, whether I hated the experience or not. At least I got the option to consent. You saw what I was doing and made me see that I wasn’t really helping myself at all.
“You once told me that being a slut isn’t a bad thing, as long as there’s consent and everyone is enjoying themselves, and you were right. Whenever I was with those other guys, being a slut felt dirty and wrong, but it’s not like that with you.
“Somehow, you make me feel confident and sexy, and I want nothing more than to be a slut for you, as I know you won’t ever abuse the trust I put in you.
“I’ve enjoyed everything we’ve done together so far, and I really hope there’ll be more to come. After what happened, I never thought I’d want anyone to touch me ever again. I can’t even bear to let Dad or Jake hug me. Yet, with you, it’s like the past never happened. I need your touch like I need air, to make me feel alive.”
The moment I do it, I know it’s probably wrong but I can’t stop myself. There’s something about this girl that pulls me in like magic. I don’t even hesitate as I lean over and press my lips to hers.
The feel of her soft lips against mine sends tingles through me, and I want nothing more than to deepen the kiss, but then I remember the situation, and I begrudgingly pull back.
Chloe looks startled as she brings her fingers up to touch her lips, like she can’t quite believe what just happened. “You kissed me,” she states, sounding a little bit dreamy.
I chuckle, the corner of my lip tilting into a smile. “I did.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m starting to realise that I might want you too,” I admit .
Now her eyes are almost comically wide, and she just sits there staring at me, looking stunned. I have to bite my lip to stop from chuckling.
“For sex?” she blurts out.
I freeze, not entirely sure what I’m supposed to say to that. Then I remember how honest Chloe has been with me, and I think I owe her the same in return.
Taking a deep breath, I give her a small smile as I do my best to explain.
“Honestly, I’ve never had a proper relationship. In fact, I rarely see women more than once, so I don’t really know what it means to offer more than sex.
“Things are different with you, but I’m not really sure how yet. There’s a lot of reasons why nothing can happen between us, but I’m very aware that at every available opportunity, I seem to be ignoring those reasons, barrelling ahead anyway.”
Chloe laughs, and the sound is like music to my ears. “What are the reasons?”
“Your family and the treaty we have in place is a pretty big one. I love Blackthorn, and our city is finally in a stable place thanks to the treaty. If something were to happen between us, something more than sex, I’d be risking your family’s wrath over that decision, and that could put the treaty in jeopardy,” I explain, but Chloe’s brow furrows like she’s confused.
“How would it put the treaty in jeopardy?”
“Well, if your father says I can’t be with you, and I refuse to follow his instruction, that would cause the power balance to shift. He’d most likely declare war on me for breaking the rules, so I’d have to be sure I’m willing to go to war before I go down that route, and that’s a lot to put our city through just for me to be happy.”
I try to make it sound simple, but it’s really not.
Yes, I’m forbidden from dating Chloe, and I’d start a war if I did—that part is simple, but choosing between my happiness and a war is really not. Of course, I want to be happy, but I’m not sure I can risk the safety and wellbeing of my people for it.
“I had no idea it could start a war,” Chloe says with a gulp, looking a little uncomfortable. “Maybe instead of jumping right into the deep end, we just take each day as it comes, and at the end of my time here, we can see where we are? If you get bored of me before then, we can just end it early.”
I almost laugh out loud at the idea of being bored with her. After just one taste, I knew I’d never get enough of her. The problem isn’t that I think it won’t work between us, it’s that I think it will.
I already see her as mine, and having her in my bed will only make that more pronounced. I’m not sure in the end that I’ll be able to give her up, but the idea of pushing her away right now creates a hole in my heart.
I’m starting to see this is a lose-lose situation, so I may as well get some of what I want while I can. If I’m going to burn the world down, I may as well make her mine before everything turns to ash.
“I think we can do that. But first, I need you to do one more thing for me…”
After a few seconds of my silence, she asks, “What?”
“I want to know his name.”
Her eyes widen and she pulls back, shaking her head vigorously. “No. Why?”
“I refuse to live in a world where he’s allowed to draw breath. For all we know, he could be doing what he did to you to other women, and I can’t allow that to happen,” I say, trying to appeal to her caring nature.
Whilst I obviously care about the safety of the women in my city, and taking care of a predator will help with that, but we both know that’s not my real motive.
I want revenge. I want to avenge Chloe, whether she wants me to or not.
“His family is powerful. It won’t be that easy,” she mutters, but I wave her off.
“There’s no family more powerful than mine. Besides, I can always get our ruler, Bree’s permission, if needed. Now, give me his name.” I keep my tone light, but the force I intend for her to hear is there.
“What will you do to him?” she asks, chewing on her bottom lip.
I fix my gaze on her, trying to read her expression. “Do you really want to know?”
She nods. “Honestly, I’ve imagined punishing him in so many ways.” She sounds almost ashamed to admit it, but fuck, if that doesn’t make my cock twitch.
“Well, you tell me exactly what you want me to do to him, and I’ll make it happen. As long as he suffers and is dead at the end of the two days, that’s all that matters to me,” I admit.
Her breath hitches. “Two days?”
“He tortured you for two days, I’m just returning the favour.”
“Okay,” she mumbles, her gaze dropping to the floor, like she’s embarrassed to admit that’s what she wants.
“Do you want to be a part of it? To face him? You can show him that you’re not afraid of him any more, that you’re taking back the control he stole from you.”
She freezes, her eyes flicking up to meet mine, looking like a deer caught in headlights. “Face him? I don’t know if I can.”
“You absolutely don’t have to, but the offer is there if you choose. If not, I’ll just make him suffer in all the ways you’ve imagined. When he takes his last breath, he’ll know he messed with the wrong girl.”
Her lips tip up into a small smile. “Thank you,” she whispers, before leaning over and pressing her lips to mine.
It’s a short, chaste kiss, and it’s over before it really starts, but my heart is pounding in my chest in a way that shows it was more than an innocent peck.
“Anything for you.”
She leans in again, and I squeeze her hand to grab her attention as I pull my head away. Hurt flashes in her eyes, but I know I’m doing the right thing.
“I want nothing more than to kiss you right now, but we both know things will move quickly after that, and I don’t think this is the right time. Your emotions are fresh, and I want your head to be clear when I fuck you. I’m not saying no, I’m just saying not now.
“Take the rest of the day, and we can revisit everything when you’re ready. I want to be absolutely certain that you’ll have no regrets when you agree to let me fuck you, as there will be no going back. Once I make you mine, that’s it.”
Her breath hitches, and I ignore the mixed messages I’m sending her. I mean she’ll be mine while she’s here with me, that’s all. At least, I hope that’s what I mean.
Fuck, focus , I shout in my head.
I quickly change the subject. “I’m not going to stop until I get his name.”
She lets out a long sigh. “Fine, it’s Frank Longoria. But I don’t want you to do anything until I’ve decided if I want to be a part of it. Agreed?”
His name repeats over and over in my head. There’s an element of familiarity, but I can’t quite place how I know him. I’ll have to ask Jacob when he comes over tomorrow, since Chloe seems to think he knew him and didn’t like him.
I also have the overwhelming urge to ask Jacob how the fuck he didn’t realise his sister had been kidnapped for two fucking days, or how he missed how messed up she’d become when she came back.
I know I can’t ask him, as that would be breaking the trust Chloe placed in me, and I can’t do that. Though Jake will need to face up to this sooner or later, and I suspect we’ll see him spiral further when he finds out.
As shitty a person as Jake is right now, there’s no denying how much he loves his sister. When he finds out just how much he failed to protect her, I think it’ll kill him.
“I can agree to that. It’ll take me time to come up with a good plan, anyway,” I admit, my glare no doubt showing just how evil my ideas truly are.
I don’t mention all the red tape I’ll need to deal with in order to pull it off without repercussions. If he’s as well connected as Chloe says, I’ll need permission from people higher up to take him out without his family being able to retaliate.
Since he’s not aligned with the Morellis, I’ll need Santoro permission, and if I can’t get that, I’ll have no choice but to go to the big boss—Bree Doughty.
“Okay, and things between us just go back to normal?” She phrases it like a question, as though she’s unsure of the answer.
“I believe what I said is that when you’re truly sure it’s what you want, when there’s nothing else on your mind except me, then you can ask me to fuck you. Until then, we can go back to normal,” I repeat, though I really hope it doesn’t take her long to sort her shit out.
I know she has a lot on her plate, and I wouldn’t blame her for taking her time, but I don’t think my poor dick can take much more teasing.
“Right, well, I’ll make dinner this evening then,” she says as she stands from the sofa, her hand still in mine.
I stand with her, giving her a smile. I lean over and press a kiss to her cheek, the edge of my lips pressing against hers. “It’s a date.”
I hear her breath hitch as I let go of her hand and walk out of the room, my smile growing.
I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing, and I’m fairly sure I’m digging my own grave, but there’s nothing in the world that will stop me now.