Chapter 4
Flynn
I was watching bad television and trying to convince myself to do laundry when my brother called. We’d been trying to meet up for a while now, but his med school schedule was insane. The man studied more than he slept.
“I can meet for a coffee today, if you can make it up here,” he said.
It was a Sunday, so I had the day off, but I had a Redemption Road meeting at four in the afternoon. I checked the clock. It was after eleven.
I’d have to drive up there, grab a coffee, then hightail it back.
Two hours there, half hour to chat, and two hours back. It would be tight, but my brother was so rarely available that it would be worth it.
“Let’s do it,” I said. “I’ll be there by 1:30.”
One perk to working at an auto shop was that my vehicle was tuned up and ready to make the trip, despite being older than me. My 1988 Buick Regal didn’t look like much on the outside, but it had a powerful engine and smooth handling.
Even Bailey had approved.
Not that I needed the kid’s approval. He was younger than Aiden, but sometimes I forgot because he was so confident in the auto shop. He’d swept in last weekend like a little king ready to retake the throne and restore order to his fiefdom.
And I’d been ready to bow and kiss his ring, because damn, he made mechanic work look so easy. For the first time in weeks, the weight had slipped from my shoulders.
Too bad it couldn’t last. Bailey was back at the Thurston University campus—the same campus where Aiden attended med school—and I’d been on my own again.
Thankfully, business had slowed a little this week. I’d mostly had routine maintenance jobs like oil and filter changes, along with a couple of basic repairs. Those I could easily handle, so I’d managed not to make an ass of myself in front of the brothers.
For now, anyway.
I cranked up the radio, stuck a fresh cinnamon toothpick in my mouth—I’d had to kick a nasty smoking habit I picked up in prison, and the toothpicks helped—and hummed along to some Twenty One Pilots, Fall Out Boy, and Metallica on the drive.
Once I hit town, I turned down the radio so I could focus on my phone’s GPS leading me to Wicked Grind, a coffee shop in the downtown square about six blocks from campus.
I slipped into an angled parking spot and cut the engine.
Aiden sat at a little high-top bistro table with two ceramic mugs in front of him. He waved me over.
I bypassed the short line at the counter, made up mostly of college kids, with one or two professor types, and hunched my shoulders to look less like the big brute I was. Even before I’d ended up in prison, I hadn’t been on the college track. I’d been more at home on a construction crew.
At least Forrester Bros Auto was a step up. They were trusting me with real responsibility. It made me nervous, but only because I didn’t want to screw it up.
I pulled out a tiny chair across from Aiden and balanced on it. “Hey. Hope I didn’t keep you waiting.”
“Nah, I got here early to grab a table and order. You still like pumpkin spice, right?”
“Shh.” I snagged the blue mug he offered and lifted it up, inhaling the scent of sweet spices. “I’ll lose my man card.”
“Not likely,” Aiden mumbled. “I wish I could have gotten your genetics.”
“No, you don’t.” Aiden was only my half brother, and I’d taken after my father. “You got brains instead of brawn. Be grateful for that. You’re going to do a lot more good in the world than I ever will.”
Aiden took a sip of his drink—probably something strong as fuck; my brother practically lived on caffeine—and lowered his misshapen orange mug. “I wish you wouldn’t put yourself down like that. I wouldn’t be doing any of it without you.”
I hadn’t meant it as a putdown, exactly. Just a fact.
“I couldn’t pass your exams,” I said with a chuckle. “That’s all you.”
Aiden smiled. “Maybe, but you got me here. I won’t ever forget that.”
The shadows in his eyes told me he wouldn’t forget what came before, either. I’d left him with his abusive asshole father for too long. I should have known that when Mom left like she did, someone would have to pay.
I was already out of the house. Otherwise, I would have stepped forward and let it be me. I couldn’t get into med school, but I could take a punch like a champ.
Too bad the same couldn’t be said for everyone.
Before my mind could travel down a darkened memory lane, I changed the subject.
“Tell me about school,” I said. “Are you getting any sleep at all?”
Aiden took a big gulp of his chai. “I have perfected the art of the catnap between classes,” he said.
“You have to take care of yourself, Aids. Who will heal all those future patients if you aren’t there?”
He cocked his head. “If you want to talk about who looks more tired—”
“Okay, okay,” I said, ego still smarting from Bailey’s comments about how worn-out I looked. “It’s not a competition.”
Aiden laughed, and he looked so damn happy here. It made the knowledge of what I’d done easier to live with. Not light exactly, but bearable, at least.
He filled me in on his classes while we drank our coffee. Aiden was a driven student, and med school didn’t leave much room for a social life, but I still had to ask.
“Anybody special in your life?”
“I’ve got everyone I need.”
“You know what I mean.”
He shrugged and averted his eyes. Concern crashed into me. I’d only meant to casually inquire, but something wasn’t right.
“What is it, Aiden? You can tell me.”
“Nothing, just…” He picked at the label on his cup. “There was a guy. He was an asshole, though.”
I went rigid. “Did he hurt you?”
“No! Nothing like that. He just…didn’t understand what we’ve been through.”
That gave me pause. “We?”
“I know you went to prison, not me, but—”
“No, no. You went through plenty. I’m not sure I understand. Did you tell him about me?” I lowered my voice. “About…”
“Yeah,” he whispered. “He didn’t understand. He said things that—” He shook his head. “I’m better off. Who has time for dating in med school, right?”
Oh, damn it. Would the consequences of my actions ever end? I could handle them when I paid the price, but not Aiden. He didn’t deserve that.
“I’m so sorry, man. You don’t have to tell people about me.”
His expression turned fierce. “Fuck that. You’re my brother. You’re my fucking hero.”
I cringed, shaking my head.
“You are,” he insisted. “Anyone who can’t see that has no place in my life.”
I smiled faintly. Aiden was so quiet and shy until you got him fired up. Then he could be a real spitfire. It was good to see that spark in him. I’d worried it might have been snuffed out.
“Sorry, Dr. Donovan. My mistake.”
“You’re damn right.”
The door chimed with the entry of a new group of people. I didn’t turn around. College kids had been coming and going while we caught up. Aiden’s eyes widened a fraction before a hand landed on my shoulder.
“Flynn?”
I looked up, shocked to see Bailey. “What are you doing here?”
“Me?” He flicked a glance at Aiden before turning back to me. “I go to school here, remember? This is kind of a long way for you to drive for a coffee date, though.”
Aiden frowned. “I’ve offered to drive to him, but he won’t let me.”
“Very chivalrous,” Bailey said.
A cute, spiky-haired girl came up beside Bailey. She was five foot nothing, but there was a presence to her that said she’d fuck you up if you put even a toe out of line. “What’s the holdup, Bails? I need my caffeine if I’m going to make it through the review.”
Bailey gave her a distracted look. “Order for me?” At her scowl, he fished out a twenty-dollar bill. “It’s on me.”
She brightened up, shooting us a curious look. “Yes! Free coffee.” She pointed at him. “Don’t think this means you can use my highlighters.”
“Never,” Bailey said solemnly.
“A girl doesn’t share her highlighters with just anyone.”
“You’re not that kind of girl,” Bailey said.
“Who are you calling a girl?”
He flinched, and she laughed. “You’re so easy, Bailey Steele! God love ya!”
She skipped to the front counter to place the orders.
She hadn’t bothered asking Bailey what he drank, but then maybe she knew.
Maybe…they were flirting? Joking about highlighters was a new one, but then I wasn’t a college student.
Aiden would know, but I couldn’t ask him.
He’d want to know why I was asking, and really, why was I?
When Bailey turned his attention back to us, Aiden was looking at him with interest. “Bailey? So you’re the one my brother couldn’t shut up about last summer.”
“Christ, Aiden,” I muttered, cringing. He was going to give Bailey the wrong idea. Well, the right idea, but it was wrong.
“Brother?” Bailey said. “Oh, shit, you’re the med student? I didn’t know you went here.”
“Yeah.” Aiden stood up. “Actually, I have to get going, though. I’ve got a study group starting in ten.” He grinned at me. “You two should catch up. Seems a waste for Flynn not to get that coffee date.”
My neck heated with embarrassment. Subtle, Aiden.
“Bailey’s here with someone.”
Bailey nodded. “Yeah, Iris will rip off my balls if I make her do our class review alone. But hey, if you’re ever back this way, we should hook up.”
Aiden waggled his eyebrows up and down behind Bailey.
“H-hook up?” I stuttered, feeling like a middle schooler.
“Yeah, we can grab coffee or dinner or, you know, whatever,” Bailey said. “Catch up.”
“Right.” That kind of hookup. Not the sexual kind. That was good. Last summer, there had been a few times I was pretty sure Bailey might have been interested in more than friendship, but that would be a bad idea for about a hundred reasons. “We can do that.”
He smiled and turned to Aiden. “Your brother’s a good one. He brags about you all the time.”
“He gives me too much credit,” Aiden said. “I couldn’t do any of it without his support. He’s the best.”
Iris returned with their coffees, giving Bailey a pointed look, and he said a hasty goodbye. I grabbed my coffee and walked Aiden out.
“You don’t have to leave just because I am,” Aiden said. “You could always hang around and wait for Bailey to finish his studying.”
“You think you’re so smart.”
He smirked. “Well, I don’t like to brag, but I’m a med student.”
I laughed. “Yeah, you’re also a smart-ass. That joke about the coffee date? Not cool, man.”
“Why not? You obviously like him.”
“He’s younger than you,” I protested.
“But still an adult.” Aiden tilted his head. “A pretty fine-looking man too.”
I frowned. “You think so?”
His eyes crinkled with amusement. “Well, objectively. He’s not really my type. Besides, you saw him first. You have dibs.”
“He’s a person, not a candy bar.”
“But he could still melt in your mouth,” Aiden teased.
I shook my head. “Not happening.”
“Why not?” he persisted. “You’re not in prison anymore.”
“But I was,” I said, “and look what it did to your relationship. Imagine telling your boyfriend that you were the one who…” I trailed off, unable to say the words. “Who did what I did.”
His face fell. “You don’t think he’d understand?”
“Your guy didn’t.”
“No,” Aiden said softly, “I guess not, but they can’t all be assholes, right?”
“Maybe not,” I said, “but I’ve got to get back to Riverton for a meeting, anyway. I have other priorities right now. Who has time to date when they’re on parole, right?”
He winced. “Guess we’ll be single together.”
“Guess so.”
For now, anyway. I had no doubts that Dr. Donovan would meet someone better, someone worthy of his love. It was different for me. I was the one who wasn’t worthy.
There were some sins you couldn’t leave in the past. Some sins you carried with you.
And Bailey was too young, too sweet, too innocent to be dirtied by me.