Chapter 7
Bailey
I tightened the clamp holding the cold-intake hose in place and stepped back to do a visual inspection. It all looked good to the naked eye.
I wiped my hands on a rag and walked around the car to reconnect the battery. My phone vibrated in my back pocket. I tugged it out and checked the screen, even though I already knew who it would be.
Bossy Brother flashed across the screen.
I glanced guiltily at the car under my fingertips. The one I’d been working on instead of attending class lately. Shit.
I answered the call, even though I didn’t want to. “Hey, man, what’s up?”
“Finally, you answer,” Holden grumbled. “I thought I’d have to send out a search party.”
“You know, normal humans just text.”
“Yeah, well, I want more than a thumbs-up from you. I want actual proof of life, like your voice telling me how things are going.”
This was exactly why I hadn’t been taking his calls. What was there to say? I couldn’t tell him that I hated school, that I felt like an outsider here, someone who didn’t quite fit except when I was working on cars for some dudes who’d effectively blackmailed me.
I should be pissed that they were taking advantage of me, and instead, I was finding excuses to spend more time here.
“Everything’s fine,” I said.
“Fine,” he huffed. “Hardly more than a thumbs-up.”
I hit the Mute button and dropped the hood with a clang. I didn’t want Holden to ask questions about what I was doing right now. I unmuted the phone.
“I don’t know what you want me to say. It’s school, you know? It’s a lot of work.”
“Flynn said he saw you the last time he went up there,” Holden said, trying another track. “With a friend?”
“Iris, yeah. She’s cool. We study together.”
Mostly because we were both hopeless, but misery loves company.
“That’s great,” Holden said, voice brightening. “I’m glad you’re not all alone up there.” He hesitated. “I worry about you, kid.”
“I miss you guys,” I admitted.
“We miss you too, but you’re going to do such great things. This is just the start, Bailey.”
“Yeah.” Time to change the subject. “So, did Flynn say anything else about his visit up here?”
“Like what?”
“Um, I don’t know. About his brother or…”
Me? About me?
Holden would love if I asked that. I started the engine of the Nissan, letting it idle and watching the sensors while we talked.
“Actually, he went back up there again today. Said something about his brother being lonely. Hey, maybe you guys could be friends.”
My heart thumped. “Me and Flynn?”
“No, you and his brother. You’re both up at that campus together.”
“Oh, uh, I don’t know if we have much in common. He’s in med school. He’s probably so smart.”
“So are you,” Holden said in a stern voice that told me not to bother arguing. “You’re a mechanical engineering major. That’s incredible, you know? I’m so proud of you.”
I cringed. He wouldn’t be proud if he saw my grades—or how often I was finding reasons to miss class. I had to do better. I had to suck it up.
My brothers had set aside money for me. Holden, especially, wanted me to have this. He’d had to leave college to deal with our imploding family, and I should appreciate that I had the freedom to pursue any life I wanted.
Only…what if this wasn’t that life?
“…never hurts to have more friends, Bailey,” Holden was saying. “You need people you can talk to. Aiden could be that guy.”
I swallowed hard. “Yeah, okay. I gotta go, though. Um, homework. You know how it is.”
“Yeah, man. Keep doing what you’re doing. We’ll see you soon.”
“Okay.”
“But not too soon! Focus on your studies.”
I laughed. It was either that or cry. “Got it.”
“Love you.”
“You too. Tell everyone that I…”
“I will. But you can call them too. We’re all here. We haven’t gone anywhere.”
No, but I had. I’d never felt further from my brothers than right now. I disconnected the call and wiped my eyes. I checked the time on my phone. Damn. I’d already missed the study group meeting to prepare for the ethics exam.
I should probably suck it up and study on my own, or…
Flynn came back up to see his brother today, Holden said. And Holden wanted me to meet up with Aiden. That was one small thing I could do for my brother, since I was failing so miserably at all the rest.
I cut the engine but left the keys in the ignition and opened the roll-down garage door. Owen and Petie were pulling up in a monster pickup as I walked out.
They parked behind my Camaro, and Owen hopped out the passenger-side door.
“Hey! Where do you think you’re going, wrench monkey!”
I rolled my eyes at the nickname he’d come up for me. It was insulting, but that was just Owen.
“Finished up. I’ll have to take her for a test drive, but—”
“You’re not driving her,” he said. “I’ll take her for a spin. You better not have been blowing smoke up my ass about knowing what you’re doing.”
“Just thank me for providing top-notch service for nothing, you asswipe.”
He laughed, an expression of boyish glee crossing his face. “Can’t wait. You know, your Camaro would make for a great street racer.”
I chuckled as I reached for the driver’s-side door. “No, thanks. I’m a mechanic, not a driver.”
“Why not both?” Petie said, a glimmer in his eye.
I loved to take my Camaro on the highway and open her up to higher speeds. But street racing was dangerous and illegal. People got hurt, and I wasn’t about to get tangled up in that.
“I have to go, guys. Catch you later.”
“I’ll give you a call when I get that nitrous oxide injector,” Owen said.
I shook my head. “My debt is paid, man. I’ve done more than eighty bucks of work for you, and I’m not going to be some kind of indentured servant.”
“So we’ll pay you, then,” Owen said. “How much?”
I considered. “At least a couple of pizzas. Maybe some beer.”
He grinned. “Hell yeah, now you’re talking.”
I grimaced as I slipped into my car. I should be putting distance between us, not agreeing to more work in the future. But this job kept me sane when I was sitting through dry lectures and straining to wrap my brain around calculus concepts.
I needed this. Needed some connection to who I really was, even as I was trying to become someone else.
Wicked Brew was a ten-minute drive. I was taking a gamble that Flynn and his brother would meet up at the same spot. If they weren’t there, I’d have to call or text.
Luckily, I spotted his Buick parked outside. I swung into the angled spot beside him just as he and his brother came out the door. They lingered on the sidewalk in front of the shop.
I sat in the driver’s seat, watching. Hesitating. Then Aiden turned and walked away.
Flynn started forward, and I popped out of my car. “Hey!”
He startled back, eyes widening. “Bailey. I didn’t even notice your car.”
“Just got here,” I said, heart tripping at the sight of him.
He was so tall, dwarfing even my six-foot frame, and his features gave new meaning to the word chiseled.
The man looked so hard, with a square, jutting jaw and prominent cheekbones above his beard.
His biceps and shoulders strained the seams of his flannel.
His thighs… I swallowed. Probably best not to focus there.
Flynn looked hard, but he wasn’t really. Not inside. Not where it counted.
And that’s when I realized that I’d lied to myself all the way here. I hadn’t been racing across town to catch Aiden before he left. I didn’t want to confide in him.
It was Flynn.
It would always be Flynn.
“I just met up with my brother,” Flynn said, gesturing in the direction Aiden had gone. “He, uh, had to go, though.”
“You in a hurry to get home?” I asked. “Or maybe…”
“You want to grab a coffee and catch up?”
Relief swamped me.
“That’d be good.”
To my embarrassment, my voice quavered. Flynn’s brows drew together with concern, but he didn’t comment. I hurried toward the door, eager to hide my face. It was just coffee and a chat with a friend.
Sure, I’d crushed on Flynn. Fantasized about him way too much.
I’d love to bury my hands in his thick brown hair and pull his lips to mine.
But at the heart of it all was friendship.
We’d bonded while I trained him in the auto shop.
We’d spent hours working closely together.
He had to feel some connection too, right? Even if it wasn’t romantic.
He followed me to the front counter.
“Order whatever you want,” I said. “My treat.”
“How about a bottle of water. I’ve had all the caffeine I need, or I’ll be shaky on the drive home.”
“Lightweight,” I teased before turning toward the barista. Her dark hair was pulled into a ponytail, and her gaze ping-ponged between me and Flynn as if trying to make this combo compute.
“Another brother?” she asked him, her tone arch.
Flynn blushed. Actually freaking blushed. That was surprisingly cute on such a rugged face. Who knew?
“Just a friend,” he rumbled.
“Good friends,” I said, feeling the need to egg her on. “We go way back.”
Her eyebrows shot up, but thankfully, she turned to business. “What will you have?”
I gave her my order for a blended ice coffee and Flynn’s water, and then we waited awkwardly while she made the drinks.
“How do you like Maple Grove?” he asked.
“It’s small,” I said. “I thought Riverton was small, but this place….”
He chuckled. “It’s cute. It’s got personality.”
“Kind of yuppy, though.”
His smile turned knowing. “No pool halls for you to get in trouble in?”
I grinned. “Who says I need a pool hall for that?”
“Uh-oh. Do I want to know?”
“Probably not. You’ll be glad to know that no asses were kicked.” I gestured toward my rear, and Flynn’s gaze followed and lingered there.
That’s right. Check me out, dude.
“How did, uh…you avoid an ass-kicking this time?” he asked, dragging his gaze back to my face.
I shrugged. “I made a deal to work on their car instead.”
Flynn laughed at that. “Is that really a punishment for you, though?”
“You know me too well,” I said. “But they don’t know that, so it all worked out.”
The barista set my mug on the counter, and I grabbed it and led the way to a couple of comfy armchairs that were open. They were angled toward each other in a small alcove that gave the illusion of privacy.
Flynn collapsed into one, sighing. “I’m glad you didn’t ask me to sit on one of those tiny metal chairs at the tables.”
I snorted. “They’re not built for giants.”
He hunched in on himself a bit. Whoops. I forgot how sensitive Flynn was about his size.
“That wasn’t an insult,” I said. “I like how big you are.”
The words were out before I could realize how revealing they might be. Flynn shifted a little, averting his eyes. That dusky blush returned to his upper cheeks.
“You’re being careful, right?” he asked.
Being careful? I didn’t know what he meant. Was he talking about sex or—
At my blank look, he added, “With the pool hustling, I mean. I’ve seen some guys go after you. It’s dangerous without backup.”
I winced. “Oh. That. Yeah, don’t worry. I’ve already burned my bridges here.”
The video of me trouncing Owen had made it all over campus. I couldn’t really pull that again without branching out to some unknown billiards bar. I really would get my ass beat in the wrong setting.
I wasn’t that reckless.
“So how’s school going, then?” Flynn asked. “You like it?”
“Um. It’s okay?”
He raised an eyebrow. “That was convincing.”
I blew out a breath. “I miss working in the shop.”
He nodded sympathetically. “We miss you working in the shop.”
“Really?” My throat tried to close around the lump in it.
“Of course, man. How could we not?”
“Sometimes…” I picked at a bit of grease under my fingernails. “I just feel like everyone is happy I’m gone. Everyone but me.”
“Bailey, no.” Flynn reached across the small table between us and set a big hand on my shoulder. “Believe me when I say that your brothers miss you like hell.” He paused. “So do I.”
I raised my eyes to meet his. He didn’t look away this time. He squeezed my shoulder gently.
“We’re friends, right?” I asked, hating how fragile my voice sounded.
“Yeah, man. Always. I admire you so damn much.”
I licked my lips, wishing so much I could lean into the comfort of his large, strong body. That maybe if Flynn were with me, I’d stop feeling so adrift.
“I’m here if you need me,” he said. “If you need to talk…”
The floodgates opened, and it all poured out.
How out of place I was here. How unsure I was that this was the right path for me. How lonely it was to look at all these college students and know that I just wasn’t like them.
Most of all, how much I hated the idea of letting my brothers down. Especially Holden. He’d given me so much.
“You need to talk to them, Bailey. If you’re unhappy…”
I shook my head, forcing a smile. “It’s probably just the freshman blues, right?”
He looked dubious. “Is that a thing?”
“Yeah. First time away from home and all.” I was trying to convince myself as much as him as I finished off my coffee.
“Well, I plan to be up here more to see Aiden. I know I’m not one of your brothers, but maybe I could be a familiar face.”
“Thanks.” I stood up, sensing that the coffee chat was at an end. I didn’t want Flynn to go, but he had a two-hour drive ahead, and I refused to be so pathetic he needed to stay and placate me. “I’m fine, though. Just in a weird mood today, you know?”
We walked outside, and Flynn paused on the sidewalk, just as he had with his brother. He hesitated a beat, then wrapped his big arms around my shoulders and drew me into a hug.
It was the best feeling, sagging into all that strength, letting him hold me up.
“Talk to Holden about this,” he said, breath rustling my hair. “Don’t hold it all inside.”
“It would just disappoint him.”
“If you were my brother, I would care more about your happiness.”
I drew back to look into his face. “Flynn, in no world do I want you to think of me as your brother.”
Our eyes met and held. Flynn swallowed, his big Adam’s apple bobbing in his thick throat.
I could kiss him. He looked like he wanted it too. If one of us just leaned in and—
Flynn dropped his arms and stepped back.
“Take care, Bailey. Think about what I said. Your brothers love you. They want you happy.”
Damn it. Flynn didn’t make a move. Of course he didn’t. Everyone saw me as the little brother who needed coddling, even him.
And crying on his shoulder today wasn’t likely to change that. If I wanted Flynn to see me as a man, I had to start acting like it.
So I hitched on a smile and waved goodbye as he drove away, pretending like everything in me wasn’t crying out for him to stay just a little longer.