Chapter 28
Chapter 28
The following morning, I wake up late, and only because Nyota is threatening to slap someone with a lawsuit right under my window. I put on a pair of shorts, the trilegged top she gave me, and dash downstairs, only to find her pacing in front of the cliffside’s rail; Tisha, Rue, and Minami watch her from a stone bench, heads moving back and forth as if to follow a Wimbledon match.
“What happened?” I ask, winded. White clouds cluster at the horizon, and the day is not as bright as the last few have been.
“Well, several things. Rue’s…” Minami’s eyes narrow at me. “Is that a hickey, Maya?”
My heart drops. “Where?”
“On the right side of your throat.”
I raise my hand, instinctively, to the spot Conor bit last night. “Probably a mosquito bite?”
“Oh, yeah. I get allergic reactions all the time, too.” She scoots, making room for me to sit. “So, you know how this wedding might be cursed?”
My stomach drops. “Oh, no. What happened now?”
“They delivered the dress Rue’s supposed to wear for the ceremony.”
“And?” I love Rue’s dress. It’s simple and lithe. Sexy but with no frills, just like her. I’ve been looking forward to seeing her in it, and to watching my brother see her in it for the first time. That’s why, when Tisha shows me the picture on her phone, I let out a terrified scream.
It’s not a yelp. It’s not a gasp. It’s a scream .
“Kill it with fire,” I plead. “Load it on a barge and cast it out to sea. Erase it from this metaphysical plane. What the hell is that?”
“The dress that was delivered.”
“Why does it look like a tampon?”
“Oh, yeah.” Tisha nods. “We’ve been calling it ‘the condom,’ but that fits way better.”
“There was some kind of mix-up. This is someone else’s dress,” Minami explains.
I blink. “Are you implying that someone , someone who is a human being who inhabits this here planet with us, was planning to get married in that?”
“Yup. All we know about that person is that she’s about half a foot shorter than Rue. Wait, we know something else: she has Rue’s dress.”
“Can she ship it to us?”
“That will not be possible.”
“Can the store send us a replacement, then?”
“That is why Nyota is, um, threatening to tear their corporate structure to pieces,” Minami says. “The boutique has been refusing. She just called the person on the line a ‘herpetic little mouth sore.’ Maybe it’s the pregnancy hormones, but it made me a bit horny.”
“Why is the boutique refusing?”
“Well, it’s not just them. It’s actually more of a widespread problem.”
“Huh?”
“It’s just not a good time to fly something to eastern Sicily.”
“I used to not believe in curses,” Rue says. She’s at the other end of the bench, and sounds a little shell-shocked, so I lean forward to look her in the face. “I swore that marriage would not fundamentally change me as a person, but here I am. Three days to the wedding, and reconsidering my stance on the supernatural.”
“Oh, Rue. The poisoning and the drowning, those were accidents.” I smile, reassuring. “And the dress…If anyone can strong-arm someone into something, it’s Nyota, which means that you’ll have it in no time. There is no curse. And if there ever was, it’s losing steam. There were no near-deaths in the past thirty-six hours. This is a robust upward trend, and…” I stop talking, because Tisha raised her arm, and is pointing at something in the distance. I follow the trajectory, and that’s when I see it.
“Oh,” I say, finally realizing what is happening.
My first impression was wrong. The day is not overcast.
Not too far from us, a tall column of ashes and lava erupts from Mount Etna.
According to a profoundly unconcerned Lucrezia—translated via my phone—we’re not all going to die. The BBC, Al Jazeera, and a handful of social media apps all seem to agree.
“Or, we definitely are,” Tisha adds while we snack on tomato bruschetta. The olive oil here actually tastes like olives. It shouldn’t feel remarkable, and yet. “We’re all dying. At some point. Unless biologists fix the whole telomeres situation, which doesn’t seem likely at the moment. I’ve heard about this group in Finland that’s doing amazing things when it comes to—”
Diego nudges her with a gentle kiss on the cheek. “Honey.”
“Right, sorry. We are dying, but not in a pyroclastic blaze of pumice rain.”
“What about the people closest to Mount Etna?” Avery asks.
“They should be fine, as long as they don’t venture to the mouth of the volcano to take selfies,” I say. “Mount Etna is one of the safest and best-monitored volcanoes on Earth, and the lava moves slowly. The main issue is the air quality in Catania, and the lack of visibility around the airport. All flights have been canceled.”
“So I can stop trying to pick my Pompeii pose?” Axel asks.
Even his brother is confused. “Your what?”
“You know, like those stone bodies from Mount Vesuvius’s explosion?”
I’m torn between being impressed by Axel’s archaeological knowledge and wanting to find out which position he’d choose to be immortalized. Before I can foolishly ask questions I will regret, I decide to go back upstairs to brush my teeth.
That’s where I run into my brother.
His curls are tousled, which is typical. What’s unusual is the harried frown creasing his forehead.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” he says. Clearly meaning: no.
“Where’s Rue?”
He points at his room. “Napping.”
“Is she still entertaining the curse theory?”
“I convinced her that there’s nothing to worry about.”
I very much do not want to know what my brother did to relax his fiancée. “Since we both know that there is, in fact, a lot to worry about…Is there anything you’d like me to do?”
He sighs. “My phone is blowing up with people who are supposed to fly in the next few days and aren’t sure whether it’ll be possible. And then there’s the planner, and some of the caterers, and the music band was going to…” He massages the back of his head. “I need to get in touch with them.”
“So, you and Rue are taking care of it?”
He gives me an appalled look. “I would never ask Rue to talk on the phone with someone.”
My brother would literally stand between his fiancée and a cannonball full of angry poisonous spiders. I love him. “What I meant is, is there anything you’d like me to take care of?”
“No, I—Actually, can you keep an eye on Tiny for the rest of the day? I’m gonna be too busy to walk him, and I’m not sure how the volcano will affect him. He snuck to you early, this morning, before the eruptions started. Was he scared?”
“I…Not that I noticed.”
“Good.” His hand clasps my shoulder. “What a fucking mess.”
A robotic pat to his arm. “It’ll be fine.”
I spend the following twenty minutes walking around the villa and its gardens, trying not to stare at the lava flowing down the side of Mount Etna. I walk past the olive and lemon groves. I slip inside the kitchen and am unceremoniously kicked out by Lucrezia; lean too far off the guard rail and almost fall off the cliff; bang together two sticks of yak cheese.
“You okay?” Paul asks when I peek inside the room where he’s working.
“Of course. So great.”
He squints at me like I’m a Magritte. “What are you looking for?”
“Nothing. Why do you think—Nothing.”
“You sure? You’ve popped by this room about four times, looking increasingly distressed, so—”
Conor appears in the entrance. He’s wearing a performance shirt and taped shorts, hair damp with sweat. Clearly back from a run. I’m so happy to see him, I could kiss him.
Except that no , I couldn’t, because he’s too chickenshit for that.
Whatever. Least of my problems.
“I was just looking for this guy,” I say, pointing at him. “I need to chat with Conor about the, ah, photo slideshow situation.”
Paul seems surprised. “Are Eli and Rue doing a slideshow?”
They’d probably rather die. “Yes, of course. And Conor and I are in charge of it, so…can we talk about the logistics?”
“Yes,” his deep voice says. “I have time right now.” This ability of his to bullshit at the drop of a hat should definitely be categorized under red flags , but I can’t say I mind.
I’d feel so at home in a Swiss gift shop.
“Should I ask you again if you are on drugs?” he says once we’re alone in the foyer.
“Honestly, I could really use a downer right now.”
He scowls. “What happened?”
“I need your help. Eli asked me to take care of Tiny today, but I can’t do that.”
“Why?”
I close my eyes. “Because I have no idea where he is.”