Chapter Five #2
“Oh, now I'm Shane because she's mad,” he chuckled. “As long as you keep your hands to yourself because I’m not Dex and I’ll pop your ass right back.”
The duo stared each other down before breaking out into laughter. While Shane’s speech irritated her, Tyler knew he was right and said it all out of love.
“I hate you.” She bumped his shoulder.
“No, bitch, you love me.” Shane threw his arm around her shoulder. “And I’m ten toes down. If you’re ready to make a change, then I’m with it. I’ll never judge you because I don’t know what it’s like to be you, but I’m always going to speak up.”
Tyler rested her head on Shane’s shoulder and sighed.
He didn’t have to tell her he was ten toes down because she already knew.
Their ten-year-plus friendship had been through the storm and his loyalty never wavered.
Shane wiped her tears through her mother’s drunken spells and her father’s broken promises.
He held her hand while her mother was in surgery and cried with her when she was forced into a group home.
Shane used his Burger King check to buy Tyler clothes and did her hair when she was tired of her two braids.
He was her person, and while she couldn’t stand the truth at times, Shane gave it to her raw because he earned that right.
“Yall fight like lovers,” Aria teased.
“I wish we could hump like lovers.” Tyler attempted to kiss him, but Shane jumped up like she had shit on her lips.
“Bitch, you better go buy a rose or take yo ass to the strip club and let a bitch scissor you in the back room. I heard big clits can feel like dicks if they hump you right.”
“Eh, I’ll pass. I want deep penetration.”
“Then buy a dildo.” Shane shrugged. “I can’t help you.”
“Don’t do my friend,” Aria snickered. “Give her a couple of strokes.
“Hoe, is you coo?”
“I don’t want his dick anyway.” Tyler tooted her lips.
“Shit, I hope not…I like boys,” Shane reminded them.
“Well, let’s find Captain Save a Hoe. What was his name?” Aria asked. “Maybe he can give her some dick.”
“I don’t remember his name and I’m not fucking him.” Tyler's eyes bucked.
“How did yall even switch phones?” Shane asked, retaking his seat.
“I guess when I bumped into him backstage at the concert, we somehow grabbed each other’s phones.”
“She’s downplaying their interaction. They were staring at each other like long-lost lovers. Even after he helped her up, they were still there holding hands and shit.”
“It was weird,” Tyler exhaled, staring off into space. “Even when we were in front of Dex, I couldn’t stop staring at this man, and it’s beyond physical attraction. His gaze was so intense, and I know Dex felt that shit.”
“I would’ve died.” Aria held her chest.
“I was at a loss for words.”
“It’s giving big dick energy and I’m here for it all.” Shane pursed his lips.
“Let me see what his online presence looks like.” Aria whipped out her phone.
“Stop being weird and do not look that man up.” Tyler tried to snatch the phone from her, but Shane slapped her hands. “Are yall hoes ganging up on me?”
Neither Shane nor Aria answered Tyler. They were both ogling over Logic’s Instagram page. He didn’t have many pictures and the ones he did have were off guard. There were pictures of Logic playing basketball, in the booth, playing a video game, and some of him with kids.
“Oh no. Hard pass.” Aria passed Shane the phone. She was no longer interested. “He has kids, and I’d never date a man who has kids.”
“Bitch, you have kids!” Tyler gawked.
“Exactly.” She sucked her teeth. “And my kids are bad. Hell to the no. I’d hate to be their stepmom. Maddie and Mya be over there taking Kevin's girlfriend through the wringer.”
“Yo kids are bad as fuck.” Shane shook his head.
“I could never.” He babysat Aria's girls one time and made the grave mistake of falling asleep before them. When Shane woke up, they were in his content room on live doing a tutorial with one of his good wigs. They chopped, burnt, and bleached the wig so much that by that time Mya was installing it on Maddie’s head, the smoke detector was going off.
“Bitch, they’re mine and I can’t deal with them half of the time. Kevin stepping up to take them full-time was the best thing that ever happened to me. I love my babies, but we had them so young, and I missed the freedom to come and go as I please.”
Aria’s two daughters made Angelica Pickle look like an Angel.
They weren’t normal bad either. They were clever, mischievous, and when they weren’t getting into trouble at school, they were in the garage recreating experiments they saw on TikTok and YouTube.
Aria had the fire department on speed dial, and they were at her place at least once a month.
“I love that for you,” Shane agreed. “Kevin is a real one.”
“He is, and I’ll forever love him for allowing me to take the backseat while he raises our girls.”
“Do you ever feel bad?” Tyler asked.
“No,” Aria answered. “Kevin is their father, and if he wants to raise them, then who am I to stop him. Plus, men do it all the time. The only difference is that Kevin and I have an understanding. I still spend time with the girls, provide for them, and I show up to everything; they simply live with their dad.”
“Speaking of lil crumb snatchers, have you and Dexter made up?” Shane asked, popping his over-glossed lips
“Not really.” Tyler tooted her lips. She didn’t even know what making up looked like anymore. Whenever she and Dexter had a spat, he chased her, she shut down, they fought, had sex until she was numb, and then they were good until the next thing happened. “I’m kinda getting tired of him anyway.”
“Good, that means ole boy gotta chance.” Shane lifted his hands in a praising manner.
“So, you're praying for my downfall?”
“Not your downfall, per se, just your relationship. I want that shit to fall harder than the Roman Empire.”
“That’s real fucked up. You do know I love him, right?” Tyler squinted.
“Bitch, you can lie to him, but you can’t lie to me.
You’re grateful for what he’s done for you, and I can see how you get the two confused.
Dexter pulled you into his world, but you don’t owe him shit.
Everything you have, you earned. You’ve outgrown Dexter, and to be honest, yall were never on the same level.
Your calling was always higher, Dexter knows that and he’s scared of what might happen when you finally realize the power you hold. ”
“Whew! You better say that shit!” Aria nudged Shane. “I personally think you can do better. Dex is too wishy-washy. One minute he’s so in love with you, posting on the internet about how you mean the world to him, and the next he’s surrounded by bitches and participating in that 20 vs 1 bullshit.”
Tyler tucked her lip into her mouth. They were right, and Dex made it hard for her to defend their relationship when he was always doing stupid shit.
He swore the 20 vs 1 game was Tilly’s idea, yet it didn’t stop him from participating.
Dexter stood next to Tilly, flirting with bitches all night and popping balloons like he was the one looking for love.
The clips floating around the internet pissed Tyler off, and he had the scratches on his neck as evidence.
“Right!” Shane cosigned. “These niggas nowadays are more concerned about impressing their homeboys than the person they’re in a relationship with.”
“Swear! Women talking about there’s piss in the dating pool, shit, there isn’t a pool. It’s just a muddy puddle filled with nipple tugging mama boys and broke ass hustlers who can’t handle rejection.”
“Preach!” Shane clapped his hands. “That’s why I’m monsexual.”
“What the fuck is monsexual? I thought you liked penis?” Aria held her forehead. “All these new terms make my ass itch.”
“Nah, that’s a new one, friend,” Tyler assured her.
“Sounds like he’s fucking monkeys now.”
“I’ll slap both of yall,” Shane laughed. “I don’t like penis, I like dick. Big curvy dicks,” he corrected her. “Penis is too politically correct, and it sounds small.”
“But that’s the correct term,” Aria told him.
“Bitch, what I say?” He jumped at her, making them laugh.
“Shane, I love you, but boy, the bands on my thongs are bigger than your bony ass. I will mangle yo little ass.”
“Point taken.” He pushed his braids behind his ear. “Now, like I was saying before big feisty started threatening me... monsexuals are attracted to money. I love money so much that I jack off with $100 bills.”
“You jack off?” Aria cocked her head to the side.
“Duh, I have a nice sized dick and sometimes I like to admire it with Ben Franklin in my hands.”
“Let me see it.” She grabbed at his pants.
“See!” Shane slapped her hands away. “I gotta start bringing niggas around because I don’t think you hoes believe me when I say I’m gay. I like dick!” he yelled in her face. “I like to suck dick, balls, and ass. Yall some pretty hoes, but let me hold yall hands when I say this… I like niggas.”
“Then just show me a dick pic,” Aria bargained. “Ty already knows how it looks.”
“Bitch, you told her!” Shane covered his mouth.
“Duh,” Tyler giggled. “I’ll never forget that elephant trunk,” she sighed, recalling the time she walked in on him getting dressed.
“Try!” he barked. “I feel all exposed and shit.”
“Anyway, so no gangster boo?” Aria pouted, getting back to Logic. “I love a hood nigga with hood friends.”
“Dex is hood,” Tyler stated, causing both of her friends to snort.
“He’s a hoodlum and his friends are minions, big difference,” Shane explained. “Personally, I think you should shoot your shot with Thugger.”
“Who?” Aria frowned.
“The roughneck that snatched Dex up… he earned a nickname.”
“Oh, I like Thugger.” She clapped her hands together. “That’s a good one.”
“Yall can’t nickname him because I’m never going to see that man again. I got enough shit going on. I don’t need to add cheating to the list.” Tyler shook her head.