Chapter Five
AS I DROVE TO THE Chandlers’ I tried to remove all thoughts of Ian from my mind, but that was proving to be a difficult task.
I thought I had mastered that skill long ago, but now that he was back, I found myself out of practice and very unskilled.
I knew I was going to have to think about him as we were going to be working together, but I needed to forget the past. I didn’t know this Ian, and maybe I never knew him.
No, that wasn’t true. In my heart, I knew that I had once known the real Ian, I just didn’t understand why he did what he did to us.
I remember his mom telling me once that Ian was his best self with me.
“I was really worried about your age difference, but once I saw the two of you together, those thoughts vanished. You’re a perfect match,” she said. I had thought so too.
By the time I arrived at the Chandlers’, I wasn’t in the best of moods, but seeing their home had a calming effect.
In a way, it was like coming home. Their home reminded me of late-night talks, holidays, and shoulders to cry on.
It felt warm and instilled a sense of belonging.
The best part of dating Luke was the extra time I got to spend at his parents’ home.
I looked up at the pristine, white, two-story home with black shutters and smiled.
I reminded myself of the blessed life I led, and that Ian was only a road bump.
The thought of running him over made me smile even more.
With that lovely thought still in mind, I walked myself up the stone path that led to the wrap-around porch that was a gateway to a piece of happiness.
I eagerly knocked on the door and was soon greeted by Boss.
Without a second thought, Boss pulled me to him for a big bear hug. “How are you, kiddo?”
“I’m looking forward to that raise you promised me,” I uttered against his chest.
He laughed and let me go. “That’s my girl.”
I could hear the relief in his voice. He wrapped his arm around me, and we walked back to the kitchen.
Holly was putting dinner, which looked like some cheesy pasta dish, into the oven.
That was out of character for her. Dinner at the Chandlers’ home was normally served promptly when guests arrived.
An uncomfortable look passed between Boss and Holly when we entered the kitchen.
“Is something wrong?” I asked.
Boss cleared his throat. “Not at all, we’re expecting another guest, but we wanted you to come early so we could talk to you before he arrives.”
“He? This isn’t like a blind date or something is it?” I laughed nervously.
Holly waved her hand in the air. “No, we would never dream of doing such a thing.”
“Okay, do I know this ‘He’?”
Boss’s forehead began to perspire. He was doing that a lot lately. Ugh. He didn’t even need to say his name.
“It’s Ian, isn’t it?” I grabbed onto their kitchen island for support.
“Now, before you leave or get upset, hear me out,” Boss pleaded.
I gripped the island tighter. Why would they do this to me? Their home was one of my safe havens. It ranked right up there with Amanda’s and my own place, and now they’d invited him here.
“First off, Kelli, I had no idea you and Ian had dated,” Boss said.
“I know that.”
He breathed a small sigh of relief, but he shifted his feet.
Holly joined his side and put her arm around him as if to show her support. She kept looking at me with those motherly eyes of hers.
“I’m not exactly sure what happened between the two of you, but I take it, it didn’t go well by your response yesterday. But, honey, I can’t do anything about it now unless I want to hire a team of lawyers and spend my life savings trying to get out of his employment contract.”
I reached out and touched his arm. “I would never ask you to do that.”
“Honey, we don’t want to lose you.” He patted my hand. “I meant what I said about you being the best employee I’ve ever had. And you know how Holly and I feel about you personally. We couldn’t love you more than if we shared last names.”
I began to tear up. That immediately brought Holly to my side.
She wrapped me up in her gentle, loving arms. I had found myself in her arms many times over the years.
As soon as she began to rub my back, the emotions brought on from the last couple of days made my eyes spring a massive leak.
Ian being here brought back more memories than I cared to remember, especially because so many of them were so sweet that it was painful.
I also missed having a mother, and Holly had this way of making me feel so loved.
“Is he the man you met your first year at school?” she asked.
I couldn’t speak, so I nodded my head against her shoulder.
The only people I had really opened up to about Ian were my dad and Amanda, but Holly knew I had got my heart broken in Colorado.
She had always tried to get me to talk about it, even though her true desire was for me to marry Luke.
At least it had been. She knew in her heart that it wasn’t right for me or even fair to me.
“Hmm . . . That’s what I thought,” she said with all the tenderness of a real mother.
“Kelli, I really am sorry,” Boss said.
I lifted my head. “It’s not your fault. How could you have known?”
He rubbed his neck. “I don’t know. He did seem very interested in you, but I assumed it was because I had mentioned several times that you were the heart of the office, and let’s be honest, even the brains.”
That earned him a smile.
“Of course, there’s your profile picture and bio on our website, and what man wouldn’t be interested in you?” he added.
I shook my head and laughed through my now intermittent tears. The Chandlers were always too kind. They thought everyone loved me. Love can be blind.
“All that being said, Ian is a brilliant businessman, and I wouldn’t have hired him if I didn’t think he was the right person for the job. I’ve had background checks run on him and the whole caboodle.”
“Boss, I’m not worried about Ian being a predator. He’s not interested in me that way anyway. And believe me, I know how smart he is.”
“Of course he’s interested in you that way. Who wouldn’t be?” Holly smoothed my cheek.
Remember what I said about love being blind? I wiped my eyes. “No. He’s not, and it’s okay. I came to terms with that a long time ago. He’s here because, like you said, he’s a brilliant businessman and he likes a challenge.”
Holly rubbed her lips together. “So . . . how do you feel about him?” Holly hesitated to ask.
“I won’t lie, I loved him,” my voice cracked. “But now my feelings are quite the opposite.” They both tensed, so I added in, “Don’t worry, I won’t let it get in the way of me giving my job 110 percent.”
“I would never worry about you doing your job well, kiddo.”
“Do you want to tell us what happened between the two of you, sweetheart?” Holly asked. She loved a little intrigue.
“Not really. Honestly, I wish I could forget.” I meant it too.
Sure, it was mostly amazing, but that was the problem.
It was amazing and right, and apparently, it could never be duplicated.
As much as I never tried to compare my relationship with Ian to any others I had, I still did.
The standard had been set, and I wanted nothing less.
Unfortunately, I’d never even come close, and man had I tried.
Well, not lately, but you can only try so many times before it feels like a lost cause.
I could tell my unwillingness to talk about Ian’s and my past disappointed them, but the less everyone knew the better.
Especially since Ian was coming over. It was bad enough that I knew, and of course, that Ian knew.
I wished I could forget how distasteful it was for him to know that I loved him.
But that’s something a girl doesn’t ever forget.
And it’s not really something you want other people to know.
It was still embarrassing, but I guessed I was going to have to get over it if I wanted to keep working at Chandler.
“We understand, honey.” Holly gave Boss a squeeze.
“Can I ask why you invited him for dinner?”
Holly headed for the refrigerator, leaving that question for Boss to answer.
Boss became interested in the hot pad left on the island and picked it up, blankly staring at it. “We . . .”
Holly turned around and gave him the eye.
“Okay, I thought it would be a good idea if you two got reacquainted outside the office,” he admitted. “I thought perhaps I could smooth things over.”
“So, this is a therapy session?” I joked.
Boss dropped the hot pad. “Kelli, this isn’t going to work without you on board, and I feel terrible about the situation I’ve placed you in. I need to know you’re going to be all right. The company is secondary to you in this situation.”
I walked over and hugged Boss. “I love you. You don’t need to worry about me. He’s only a man after all.”
Boss squeezed me tight. “Yeah, well, I know men, Kelli. And I know you, and I’ve never seen you react like you did yesterday.”
I tried to wave off his concern. “I was caught off guard, that’s all.”
I don’t think either he or Holly believed that, but it was the best I could do.
I couldn’t bring myself to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth when it came to Ian.
If I had to work with him, I needed to pretend like we never knew each other.
I wasn’t sure how I was going to accomplish that, but not talking about it was a good place to start.
Maybe I shouldn’t have told Amanda. Too late now.
“Again, had I known Kelli . . .”
I looked Boss straight in the eye. “You would have made the same decision. You’re a businessman, too. And I respect that.”
He gave me another good squeeze. “Someday that office will be yours,” he paused, “that is . . . unless you find something else that makes you happier.”