Chapter 12 #2
He wasn’t sure how to respond, so he just took another sip of his coffee and let the silence hang there.
It was the weekend, and he still hadn’t had any alone time with Simon in the last three weeks.
He was feeling like a needy bitch. It was Sunday, and Simon needed to work again.
In his words, if he worked this weekend, he would definitely be free next weekend.
Dexter couldn’t ask for more than that, although based on the hours Simon had been doing lately, he would probably spend the four days asleep.
His mother was doing well. She had a part-time job and was sticking to her prescription drugs only. She looked better, and had even put some weight on, so she looked less emaciated. Dexter was taking her out for Sunday lunch at a local pub she liked.
“How’s that man of yours?” she asked.
“Busy,” he said without thinking.
“I knew there was someone.” She smiled triumphantly.
“It’s just . . . just a casual thing. He’s not a boyfriend or anything.”
“Tell that to your heart.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re in love with him.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. He’s not looking for anything serious. It’s only been a year since his divorce.”
“Oh, Dexter. I’d hate to see you get hurt.”
She grabbed his hand across the table in the noisy pub.
He couldn’t help but get choked up. She was right.
He was in love with Simon. How had that happened?
They’d never even been on a proper date.
It was just sex to Simon, even if he fed him after.
But the way Simon cleaned him up after sex, the intense way he looked into his eyes and gently stroked his body post-orgasm, Dexter believed there was something more.
He was just terrified of pushing, and risk losing what little he had.
Simon had a lot more to lose than Dexter if this got out.
He was in a regulated role, and could be banned from holding one again depending on how the regulator responded.
But despite knowing they couldn’t be together properly, Dexter couldn’t stop his feelings.
“What am I going to do?” he asked his mum, getting choked up.
“Talk to him.”
“What if he doesn’t feel the same way?”
“At least you’ll know.”
“Be awkward at work afterwards.”
She cocked her head at him.
“He’s my boss.”
She burst out laughing, which got them a few looks. “Oh, honey, you don’t do things by halves, do you?”
He couldn’t help but smile. She wasn’t wrong. He’d had a few relationships in the past, which all came with a side helping of drama.
Their lunch arrived at that moment. His mum had gone for the Sunday roast with chicken, and he’d chosen lamb.
The food here was always good. It was only a twenty-minute walk from his mum’s flat, and she’d met him here as she wanted to walk down, given it was such a nice day.
She rarely enjoyed walking anywhere, so the fact she was choosing to do any form of exercise was tremendous progress.
He knew not to push her to do more, though, or she could revert to how she was.
Progress would be slow, but as long as it was moving in the right direction, he’d take anything.
“Where is it you’re going next week?”
“It’s an animal sanctuary in Norfolk, which is also a conference venue.”
“How long are you there for?”
“Four nights.”
She looked taken aback.
“Mum, is everything okay?”
“Yes, yes. I just didn’t realise you’d be away that long.”
“The conference is three days and two nights. We’re staying on the Friday and Saturday as well, so we can have some time together.”
“With your bossman?”
He snorted. “Yes, with Simon.”
“Simon? And how old is this man? How well off is he?”
“He’s forty-five, and I have no idea on the other. He’s earning a quarter of a million a year, so he’s probably doing alright.”
“How much?”
“That’s normal for his seniority and experience, especially in financial services.”
“What does his house look like, or has he got one of those posh flats?”
“He lives in a house, but I haven’t seen it.”
“Why not?”
“We always meet at my flat. It’s just easier.”
“Is that what he said?”
“He shared his house with his ex-husband. It’s probably weird to take another guy back there.”
“How long have you been seeing him, Dexter?”
“It’s only been three months, and we’re not officially boyfriends or anything.”
She said nothing, just looked at him with sad eyes and carried on eating.
She had a point. Why hadn’t Simon ever invited him over to his place?
Was he embarrassed in case one of his neighbours saw Dexter and had known Simon’s ex-husband?
If that had been the marital home and things had ended badly, which is what he believed, then why did Simon still live there?
Was his ex-husband still living there or something?
He’d known of couples who had to do things like that because they couldn’t break their tenancy agreement.
It was possible some mortgages worked that way as well.
Could Simon be going home to his ex-husband after being with Dexter?
“Thanks, Mum. I’m thinking all sorts now.”
“That wasn’t my intention, Dexter. You’ve got a kind heart, and you’ve given me more chances than anyone deserves.”
“Mum!”
“Let me finish. Just talk to him when you’re away from work and together.
See where his head is at. He might feel the same way about you and think you don’t feel the same.
Have you never read a romance book? They’d be over in three chapters if people just spoke to each other about how they’re feeling. ”
He laughed at that. She was right, but he also knew why they often didn’t. Who would willingly put their heart on the line like that?
“Thanks, Mum. You always say the right things.”
“I only want the best for you. I love you.”
“I love you too, Mum.”
He would use the time away to talk to Simon.
There’d be no love declarations, but Dexter had to know how Simon felt about making their relationship less casual.
If he said no, it would break his heart, but he could walk away if he needed to.
If he left things like this, it would only hurt more in the long run.