14. Emma
Anna was the first to text me with the grotesque details. Dr. Murdock was dead. The police yet to rule it as a suicide, or an accident. My hands shook as I reread the message. Dr. Murdock was difficult to work with most days, but I never wanted this for him.
It was Friday, and news of the death spread through the office like wildfire, conversations buzzed all around us in hushed whispers. Flowers were placed outside of his office and the faculty and staff passed around a card to send condolences to his wife and children. His students were devastated; the university offered mental health counseling and therapy for those who were interested, and his classes were split between Dr. Lowe and another professor to finish out the semester.
It felt weird, that just the previous day he was screaming at me in my office, then I was signing a card for his wife the next. Life was so fragile, it was easy to forget that sometimes.
“It’s really horrible what happened,” I said, spooning soup into my mouth. Chase and I were at lunch planning the weekend, “I still can’t believe it.”
Chase silently nibbled on his own food, his green eyes blankly looking at me as he spoke, “Surely he won’t be missed.”
My spoon clanked on the bowl as it fell from my grasp, “How could you say such an awful thing?”
He cocked his head to the side. “Should I feign sadness because he’s dead?” He slowly sipped his coffee, his stare piercing into me, “Just because someone has passed on, doesn’t make them a good person all of a sudden. Dr. Murdock was an arrogant fuck. He signed his death certificate the moment he came into your office screaming like that.”
His statement was peculiar, “What do you mean?”
“Oh nothing,” he shook his head, waving his hand, “just that karma is a real bitch. Maybe if he had been a better man, his head wouldn’t have been turned to human soup on the street.”
My stomach churned at his words, instantly losing my appetite, I set my silverware down and took a sip of soda, “Yeah, I guess that is true. But, I don’t want to talk about this anymore. What did you have planned this weekend?”
“You’re going to stay with me this weekend,” he said casually. “I’ll take you home after work and you’ll pack your things.”
I hadn’t had any plans myself, so I guess that”s fine. “Okay. I can do that. I hope the rest of the day goes by fast. Things at the office have been tough.”
He nodded in understanding. It was true, things with Anna and I had been tense. While we were still friends, she made it clear that she wasn’t the biggest fan of my newly found happiness with Chase. Things were moving fast, but it was my life not hers. And I was finally happy.
“Don’t worry yourself sick over Anna, kitten,” his calming voice broke into my thoughts. He placed his warm hand over mine, I was captivated by the rhythmic pulsing of his veins on the surface, leading throughout his thick forearms, “you don’t really need her.”
I looked down, the sadness washing over me in cold waves, “She was my only friend.”
His grip tightened around my hand, “You have me. Anyone who doesn”t accept our relationship isn”t welcome to share the same air.”
I nodded. Chase was intense. He said things out loud that most of us just kept inside, he was better with numbers than people, but he was mine. And he only had eyes for me. I love how loudly he cared about me. The feeling was new to me, not having to beg for someone’s love.
I was enough for Chase as me, and there was no way I was going to let anything come between us.