Chapter Thirty-Four Declan #2
To my surprise, he lets out a frustrated, pained sound. “Declan, your love hurts.”
Just then, the large clock against the wall chimes, and we look at it at the same time. Midnight.
“It’s officially our wedding day, my love!” Pierce calls from across the room.
I can’t take my eyes off Colin, letting his words and the pain etched in them hit me like lightning.
After a defeated sigh, he looks at me as he says, “I’ll come to your room.”
“I’ll be there,” I reply. “I’ll be waiting.”
Before he can leave, I stand and quickly zip my pants as I pull him into my arms one more time. “Please believe me. I’m sorry for the damage I’ve done. I will make it up to you.”
He closes his eyes. “Declan, all you have to do is tell me that you want me for real, and I’ll come.”
“I do,” I reply, holding his face and pulling him in for another kiss.
“That’s quite enough,” a cold voice growls as Colin is ripped from my arms.
With a snarl, I reach for him again, but Pierce places himself between us. With a puffed-up chest, he glares at me with vehemence. “You’re too fucking late, Declan. And frankly, it’s pathetic.”
“Pierce, stop,” Colin calls from behind him but is ignored.
Nostrils flaring and veins pumping with adrenaline, I step up to the American.
I’ve never hated someone so much in my life.
Not even the rugby-playing bigot we faced in uni, because this bully is different.
This bully wants to take something away from me that I’m not willing to part with. Not again.
“I’ll tell you what’s pathetic,” I snarl. “Preying on someone’s vulnerability to make yourself feel bigger and stronger. You think Colin submits to you because he wants to? You don’t even know him.”
“I know him far better than you do,” Pierce snaps in return.
“Both of you stop!” Colin pleads.
“No one knows him like I do,” I growl. “Because if you did, then you’d know that he doesn’t want to just be controlled, he wants to be adored. You couldn’t possibly know that he lights up when he gets attention from someone he loves. You don’t love him, not like I do.”
Pierce laughs in my face, that smug, indignant, self-righteous snicker that I despise. If I never hear it again, it will be too soon.
“You think this is about love?” he says, like this is a performance.
My brow furrows. “Of course it’s about love,” I argue. “This is a bloody wedding.”
Pierce presses his chest closer. “Love isn’t enough for Colin, and you know it. He needs a real Dom, someone with enough balls to put him in his place, and you just have too much of a soft spot for him, Declan. You could never own him the way I do.”
His words are laced with maliciousness, and it cuts me down to the core. My fists clench, and I resist the urge to knock his lights out right here in the middle of this party.
“God, you think you actually had a chance,” Pierce laughs. “I hope you had your fun rekindling an old flame, but I’ll be taking your friend with me when I go.”
My control slips, and I throw my hands against his chest with a scowl. “Get the fuck out of my house. Take your fucking wedding and your ridiculous fucking friends and get out.”
Pierce grins wickedly without obeying my commands. Tearing my gaze away from him, I look for Colin, who is standing off to the side. He’s watching us both with a guarded, angry expression.
“Colin, come here,” I say in my calm, commanding tone, but it has a shake to it. I’m too worked up. Too afraid that I’ve lost control.
He doesn’t move.
“Baby,” Pierce says with a forced softness to his voice, and I pray Colin can see through it. Pierce is charming when he needs to be, no doubt to appeal to Colin’s sentimental side.
“Don’t listen to him,” I bark.
Colin is looking back and forth between us, and my heart starts to hammer with panic. This should be an easy choice. He should come straight to me. What is his hesitation?
His lip trembles, and the party of people around us is frozen, watching the scene unfold. I’m silently imploring Colin to just look at me. If he gives me one glance, then I know he’ll remember how much we belong together.
But he won’t meet my gaze. And maybe that’s why.
Instead, he marches between us and rushes from the room. When Pierce moves to follow him, I grab his arm and grit my teeth. “Leave him alone,” I growl.
He shrugs himself out of my grasp. “Fine,” he mutters. “I’ll just see him at the altar tomorrow.”
“You don’t love him. Is all of this really just a show of dominance to you?” I demand.
He leans in with cold, dead eyes as he deadpans, “Everything is a show of dominance.”
With that, he turns away and reaches for his drink still sitting on the table. As he lifts it to his lips, I resist the urge to tackle him to the ground. “Besides,” he adds. “If he was going to choose you, he would have done it by now.”
I don’t respond as he turns back to his party. They laugh, wide smiles on their faces as they pick up right where they left off, dancing and grinding on each other like nothing has happened.
His words burrow their way under my skin. As I take off in search of Colin, I can’t stop thinking about what Pierce said. Do I have a soft spot for Colin? Could I ever truly be the Dom he needs if I’m not willing to control him?
When I don’t find him in his room or mine, I collapse on the chaise lounge in my studio. Doubts swirl in my mind as I beg it not to go to that dark place where I’ve already lost everything and where nothing is worth fighting for anymore.
Because when Colin doesn’t show, that is what it feels like.
While I wait, I wonder if I’ve done enough. Did I make him believe how much I’ve changed? How much I love him? Did I give Colin the peace of mind he so desperately needs?
Every passing hour feels like a heavy wave crashing over me, pulling me deeper and deeper out to sea. Before long, the sun begins to fight its way through the thick clouds and heavy rain, and I realize that whatever I did, it wasn’t enough.
Maybe if I had told him I loved him sooner, things would have worked out.
Maybe if I had been vulnerable when it mattered, he would have shown up to my room.
But then again, maybe if I had never messed it up in the first place, everything would be different.