Chapter 12
Ellie couldn't remember dreading something more in her life. She’d done a lot of hard things, including terrifying auditions in front of big names with serious faces and major consequences in the balance.
This dread was greater.
It was greater than that over her exile to Wild Buck’s Ranch and all the unknowns that came with it. Greater because it threatened the most rare and wonderful thing she’d gained in her life—a deep, promising relationship with a man she could actually see a future with.
Too bad that very notion was being put to the test prematurely.
Presenting the contract to Nash felt like a death sentence to the relationship.
Sure, what Geneva said was true—following through with the contract could give them a chance to see if they could make things work. That was the part she should focus on.
Ellie told herself that very thing as she and Nash brushed down the horses at the grooming station.
It had become a ritual, something they enjoyed doing together before and after riding.
Nash had told Ellie at the beginning that horses could read humans’ energy; it hadn't taken long for Ellie to realize the truth of that. Even now, as she brushed the length of Buttercup’s blonde, beautiful coat, Buttercup seemed restless and ill at ease, a far cry from her usual enjoyment of the process.
Ellie had taken two full days to consider the contract before determining to present it to Nash.
Which meant she knew what she wouldn’t present just yet, too, like the extent of Dad’s gambling issues.
Nash didn’t need to know the deep, dark details, which meant keeping secret the weird involvement of the supposed kingpin himself, who—unlike the rest of society—went by just one name—the name of a dangerous pack animal known to eat men alive.
"A penny for your thoughts."
Ellie cringed inwardly and pulled herself from her musings. If Buttercup could sense that Ellie was off, clearly Nash could too.
She put the brush down and took a few steps back, eyeing Buttercup, then Pepper, before lifting her eyes to Nash at last.
"I do have something on my mind, just…"
Nash’s imploring gaze caused the knots in her stomach to gnarl and twist. She dropped her gaze to gather her thoughts.
He was far too rational for ideas that were so absurd.
But that's just what made her want him in her life.
She craved a man who was solid and stable and who didn't pay mind to things that didn't matter.
Still, if he truly cared about Ellie, and as early as it was, she was sure he did, then Nash would realize how important this really was. It was her chance to get out of the life she desperately wanted to leave behind.
When she thought of it that way, her limbs softened. That’s all she was asking of him—to help her get this one-way ticket to a new life.
Ellie nodded as the truth of that sank deep into her heart. If it meant they would have a shot at a future together, Nash would agree.
With that, she gulped down her rising trepidation, locked eyes with Nash once more, and dared herself to tell him.
Nash’s heart thundered as Ellie stood across from him, serious-faced and solemn. He’d expected the same bright-eyed Ellie who greeted him at the stalls each day with a smile on her face and a snarky comment on her lips. That’s not what he’d gotten today.
Instead, he’d been received by a nervous version of her; a shifty posture and a mind so preoccupied she’d barely carried a conversation. They’d finished their ride all the same, but Nash had been stuck in his head most of the time, worried that things were about to come to an end.
Once the ride was through, Nash and Ellie groomed the horses side by side, the quiet between them somehow piercing his ears.
At last, Ellie said just what he’d been waiting for. “I have to talk to you about something.”
Great, that didn’t worry him at all. Unless the death-clenched state of his throat, jaw, chest, and all of his extremities said otherwise.
“Okay,” he managed. Perhaps she’d say they were moving up the filming dates, and she’d be leaving for Dallas sooner than planned.
"Nash,” she started, “I really like you. So much.”
Oh no. Those were the words Nash started with when he was about to break up with a chick.
Well, he couldn't say he hadn’t seen this coming.
He’d known things couldn't last. And it was right after he’d taken Tucker’s advice, too.
Good thing that the defiant part of him—the five-percent rule-breaker—had managed to build a barrier around his heart.
Yep, and he was sure it was as sturdy as a house of cards.
Ellie wrung her hands, no doubt forming the sentence in her head, one that would probably break Nash’s heart, a heart that was beating so fiercely it hurt.
His mind was already coming up with phrases to lessen the sting: this was never going to work out anyway. He was lucky to have gotten any time with her. Most men would give anything to experience what he had.
The thing was, Nash wasn't most men. He’d really gotten to know the person Ellie was on the inside. Beautiful, vulnerable, sensitive. She was witty, too, boy, did she make him laugh.
“I really like you, too,” he managed.
“And,” she added, “I'm enjoying our time together. I don't want it to end."
What would her reason be—that she was really missing the old lifestyle?
Perhaps now that she’d spent time in a common place with a common man, she could unequivocally say she no longer wanted either.
But heck, at least she could better play the role of her upcoming movie.
Perhaps that's what had mattered most all along.
Maybe Nash was a mere casualty in some twisted form of method acting.
He shifted his weight, glanced over the field, and released a trapped breath with a shaky exhale.
Pepper whinnied.
"I think that you feel the same way. I mean, I know it’s early, but you’d also like to have more time together to see where this could go, right?"
"Of course.” His rib cage was a drum, and the rhythm rapping against it was growing more erratic with every beat.
"You asked if I ever thought about leaving Hollywood behind, and I told you I was working on it. That was true. But I thought I had only one of two options.” She made a fist and flicked up a finger.
“Hire a team of lawyers and drag my dad through an ugly legal battle. Not because he’s a horrible guy or anything, but because he really mishandled my money and did a lot of unfair things.
The problem with that option is that I don’t want to drag his name through the mud. ”
Nash resisted asking questions, although half-a-million of them sprung to his mind. Hope sprouted there, too.
“The other option I’ve had is to wait until my current contract ends, which won't be until another year and a half, and even then, I’m not sure what hidden strings are still going to bind me.
"But now,” she said nervously, her tone lightening, “I've been presented with a third option."
Nash sucked in a shallow breath of optimism, warning himself to stay cautious, but already, this was heading in a better direction than he thought it might.
"Okay…"
Ellie chewed on her lip and dropped her gaze. She pinned the hem of her shirt between her finger and thumb and began worrying the fabric. "This is going to sound crazy…but the third option is a new contract that actually involves you.”
Him?
“Just hear me out and trust me when I say this was not my idea or some plan from the start, but I am tempted to agree to it if you are." She hefted out a deep sigh and fixed her gaze on his. “They want us to go public with our relationship.”
The words our relationship gave Nash such a thrill that he couldn’t process anything else.
“Not that we’re some major item or anything,” she quickly amended, “but they think it would work in my favor if we let our courtship leak to the media, which would help the movie after the negative attention it got due to my arrest.”
Nash couldn’t form a word, but he did manage to nod encouragingly, furrow his brow, and remain standing upright, so score one for him.
“It's sort of like a fake relationship contract, only our relationship is real. The good news is that I’d get to meet your family. I’ve been dying to do that.
” She began counting out again, starting first with her thumb.
“We go public with the relationship, you come to Dallas with me, and we agree to stay together until at least two months after the movie releases, which is sometime in the spring.”
Nash was still stuck on the fake relationship part.
“Oh, and they worked in some monetary compensation for you since you’d be coming to Dallas with me and everything, but if we both fulfill our ends of the contract, I'll be free from any agents or obligations.
And, of course, you and I can stay together if things are still going well, which I hope they are.
.." She pinned her lips together. Her face went red.
Monetary compensation? That was insulting.
Did they just assume folks out in the country were penniless?
They were sorely mistaken on that count.
The Copelands owned and operated a lucrative cattle ranch and owned miles upon miles of land.
Still, if he was leaving work for a time—to go to Dallas with Ellie, no less—he guessed compensation made sense.
Nash waited for her to continue, hoping she could make more sense of it all, but she didn’t say another word; she simply gathered a larger portion of that hem into a fist and twisted it mercilessly.
"I don't think…" Nash started to say. He stopped there, not sure how he even meant to finish that sentence. He didn’t want to get involved in some sort of Hollywood contract. It felt dirty and skeezy, and it had money attached. Money he could pass on to Uncle Lloyd, who’d be forced to keep a few ranch hands on to make up for Nash’s absence.
Ellie could meet the family, a voice reminded. Dang, he wanted that. Wanted it badly enough to throw all his doubts out the window, but the good sense in him wouldn’t let him do that either.
"I know it's a lot," Ellie said. “If I were you, I probably wouldn't want to do it either. Why don't you take some time and think about it? I'll walk back to the cabin on my own, and you can give me your decision tomorrow.”
Nash shook his head. “No,” he said, motioning to the trail. “I’ll walk you back.” Which meant they wouldn’t be hanging out later like he’d hoped.
As they headed back to Ellie’s cabin, his emotions seemed to be caught in a wicked windstorm, flinging from one end of the spectrum to the next.
He should be glad she didn’t want to end things.
Glad that she wanted him to come to Texas with her, but a different emotion was taking the lead. Was it…humiliation? Shame?
Yes, both. He felt as if he’d been duped somehow.
At the back entrance of her cabin, Nash shifted his weight from one foot to the next, not even sure what goodbye was supposed to look like in all his uncertainty.
“Well,” Ellie said with a shrug. “Sorry to drop all this on you. I know it’s heavy. And it’s not even your burden to bear, so I’m not asking you to do it as a favor to me. Just do it if you want to.”
Nash nodded, suddenly anxious to get a moment alone and sort through his thoughts.
"Okay. I’ll see you later,” Ellie said, but she didn’t step away toward the gate. Instead, she moved closer to Nash, right into his space, her hands sprawling across his ribs, circling his sides, and then gliding around his back.
Her head was bowed, but soon she lifted it in staggering stages, eye level at his chest, his jaw, and then his eyes as Nash looked down at her. She looked as vulnerable as he felt.
But then, a wave of determination welled in the blue depths of her eyes, and soon, Ellie pressed herself up on her toes. Her hand moved up, too, wrapping around the back of his neck a moment before she pressed her lips to his in a strong, persuasive kiss.
Nash’s hands found her curvy hips and greedily pulled her closer. He kissed her in return, feeding off a growing sense of desperation and fear.
Did he really stand to lose her so soon?
Was all of this some sort of ploy?
He slowed the exchange of their kiss, moving into long, yearning presses and intimate, lingering pulls.
Asking.
Testing.
Pleading. Was this real, or had it been fake from the start?
The whimper that seeped through Ellie's parted lips, the tension in her hands as she nearly clawed the nape of his neck, told Nash that it was perhaps real for her, too.
When she pulled back at last, Ellie looked at him, her ocean eyes welling with tears, and bit her lip as she searched his face.
"I won’t be angry at you if you don’t want any part of this.
In fact, I’d like to keep seeing you either way.
” She shrugged, but he sensed the stakes were higher for Ellie than she was letting on.
Sensed there was a lot more to this deal that she wasn’t telling him.
“I’d like that too.” The moment she stepped away, a sense of emptiness crept in, eroding the peace he’d felt with her near.
Ellie looked hopeful for a blink, but the expression fell as quickly as it came. “Tomorrow?” she asked.
Mind spinning, heart aching, Nash managed a nod. “Tomorrow.”