Chapter 14 #2
As if knowing I need stability, Dart’s hand comes to my lower back. The heat of it seeps through my silky nightgown. I should probably have changed before I came downstairs. I should go change now, but I don’t want to relinquish Mirabelle. I’m afraid to let her go.
Dart gently nudges me forward as Cassidy takes a seat. Stone remains standing. His large presence doesn’t reassure me in the least.
“We won’t stay long.” Cassidy narrows her eyes at Dart when he sits beside me. His knee pressed against mine like a reminder that he’s here. He seems almost as stiff as I am.
“I wasn’t aware there was a man in your life,” Cassidy says, her voice still kind, but hesitant.
The statement is a question. An implication that the situation might be an issue.
Dart isn’t vetted like I am. Background check on file.
Education and experience to back up my good standing as a potential parent.
I’ve been concerned I’d have to apply as a foster parent first before I could adopt Mirabelle.
Previously, Cassidy assured me she didn’t think that would be necessary.
Dart glances at me before giving Cassidy a blinding smile. “I’m her husband.” His left hand comes to my thigh, showing off the silicone ring on his finger.
He shouldn’t be touching me, acting almost possessive of me, and I’m torn between telling him to buzz off or accepting what appears like a display of support. He’s here for me; we are in this together.
Stone’s brows couldn’t possibly rise any higher. Cassidy has a look of surprise on her face as well.
“Well, this is good news,” she says, her tone light, almost giddy.
“Why?” I snap, the defensive sharpness unnecessary, but still, I don’t understand how Dart would have anything to do with their sudden visit.
“A couple adopting a child looks much better than a single mother.”
If Dart is surprised at the news, he doesn’t react other than the sudden tightening of his fingers on my thigh. Like he’s gripping me to give him strength.
I’ve leaned into the misconception that I had Mirabelle with someone else because I was hurt. He’s probably been with countless other women, even though he keeps flashing that silicone wedding band on his finger. And childishly, I wanted him to hurt in return.
This isn’t how I wanted him to learn the truth.
We remain still, stiff beside one another. I continue to cling to Mirabelle.
Clearing my throat, I know I need to come clean to the authorities. To the people who can either help me or hurt my chances of keeping Mirabelle with me.
“We—”
The sudden wrap of Dart’s arm around my shoulder freezes my explanation. The physical display is too much, and I’m torn again, wondering what he’s playing at by acting like the doting husband.
“I’ve been away for a while, but now, I’m back.”
Stone narrows his knowing eyes and fixates on me. He’s well aware Dart has been gone for years.
Despite my stiffness, I lean toward Dart, further presenting the illusion of a united front.
“Good. This is so good.” Cassidy beams, brightening with hope, shifting her attention from us to Stone and back. “This could expedite your case.”
“Really?” The hope in me springs forth, echoed in the squeak of my voice. I nearly melt against Dart. Anything to move things along.
“Where are we with everything?” I ask, inhaling after asking, as if I’d been holding my breath. But I’m very conscious of the way my heart hammers and my lungs work.
“It’s rather cut and dry,” Stone states, hitching his fingers into his gun belt. “I found the girl. She admits she gave Mirabelle to the former nanny with instructions to do as she did. Leave Mirabelle with you. She’s fully consenting to the adoption.”
He offers a rare smile. “Mirabelle will soon be yours.”
Releasing another shaky breath, I glance at Dart, as if Stone just told me Mirabelle will be ours.
A baby. All that we’d hoped and longed for. She’s here. Actually here in my arms and almost ours.
Met by a shaky smile from him, I look away. I won’t drag Dart into this situation. Parenting. Responsibility. Longevity.
Mirabelle is a gift for me.
Dart squeezes my shoulder, arm firm and steady around me. “This is wonderful.” Laying it on extra thick, he presses a kiss to my temple.
The action takes me by surprise, and I glance at Stone, who is watching us with hawk-like interest.
“Can I have a word with you? Alone.” Stone asks, nodding toward the kitchen.
He’s an officer of the law and a man I respect, but I know the gist of what he’ll ask me. Do I feel threatened, coerced, or in danger? All valid questions if I felt endangered in any way. But Dart would never physically hurt me. He’s not a threat. Not like Stone thinks.
Stone is an investigator by nature and protective to a fault, both things I adore about him. So, I want to assure him without a lengthy discussion that I’m safe.
“I’m fine.”
Holding my gaze on Stone, I will him to read my thoughts. I’m not under distress. Maybe a little confused by the husband-who-I-thought-was-my-ex, but I’m not afraid of him. A bit baffled by this outward display of affection, but not in fear of Dart. Not physically.
Stone tips his chin to accept my answer. “Okay, then. Just wanted to pass along the good news in person.” He glances at Cassidy. “And apparently this new development . . . Dart . . . will help speed things up.”
“Should be rather easy to mitigate,” Cassidy states, offering Stone a confident smile before giving me another one. Her gaze dips toward Dart, pleased by this new development as Stone called him.
“Of course, we’ll need to run a background check on you as well, Mr. . . .”
“Rivers,” Dart offers, sitting up straighter like he’s being called on in a classroom. “Run all the checks you need.”
“Wonderful. I’d predict three months and Mirabelle will be all yours.”
“Three months,” I repeat, a whisper full of both shock and relief. I hadn’t expected things to happen so quickly. I’d been braced for a year at best, but this . . . three months . . .
I glance down at Mirabelle. Her eyes open and staring back at me. Awe in those little eyes, watching me, observing.
Are You My Mother? It’s a famous children’s book about a little bird looking for his parent. Without even knowing the term mother, I hope Mirabelle senses who I am. Who I want to be.
I might not have grown her inside me, tucked beneath my heartbeat for nine months. But my heart does beat for her. From the moment I held her in my arms, and the reality of the situation hit, I knew there was nothing I wouldn’t do for this child. No fight I wouldn’t fight to keep her with me.
I’m reminded of the moment I first found her, uncertain who she was and who she belonged to, but once I read that letter, and re-read it, and then this same social worker sat across from me, Stone at her side, and my mother at mine, I knew . . . Mirabelle belonged to me. And I belonged to her.
Yes, whispers through my head at her, like she can read my thoughts. I am your mother.
And everything will be legal and binding, and official in three months.
That calendar date and formal papers only make it certifiable.
In my heart, in my soul, where it really matters most, I already am Mirabelle’s mom.
I glance back at Cassidy, blink at the sudden well of tears in my eyes.
“Wonderful,” I parrot her, a breathless wisp of relief shoving aside the surprise.
Cassidy abruptly stands, holding open her arms, and I step into them, still a little stiff with shock, but also appreciating her hug.
“Congratulations.” In a rare show of affection, Stone wraps an arm around me as well and tugs me to his side.
“You okay?” he whispers out of the corner of his mouth, eyes still aimed at Dart.
“I’m . . . amazing,” I answer, because I’m still a bit stunned at the incredible turn of events.
As for Dart, well, that’s still to be determined.
But as they exit, and Dart gives them a final wave before closing the front door, I realize that the adoption timeline might not have zipped forward without his presence.
A couple adopting a child always looks better than a single mom.
No shade to single women or single parenting, just that studies have proven two parents can be better than one.
The second the door is shut and the lock twirls, my heart skips for a new reason.
Dart doesn’t hold back from jumping in, staring at me with the deepest expression of pain I think I’ve ever seen on his face.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were adopting?”
The casual shrug feels like a reflex. A brush off of the uncertainty, when the real answer is I was being petty. I wanted him to hurt in some way, like he’d hurt me.
I knew the conclusion he’d drawn. He thought I’d been with someone else. A true blow to his ego and our marriage. The one I didn’t know we still had. I should be equally pissed at him. Turn his previous upset around on him, but the gash of hurt across his face stops me.
And it makes me realize how devastatingly ruined I’d be if the tables had been turned. If he’d been with someone else. If he got someone else pregnant.
I don’t have the energy to lash out at him. Not when I’m on this emotional rollercoaster, riding up with the high of the amazing news about Mirabelle, knowing I’m about to drop down the other side with the discussion we need to have about her.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, my remorse sincere, although the apology isn’t enough of an explanation.
Dart rushes toward me, closing the distance between the entry hall and the living room where I stand.
“Look.” He blows out a struggling breath and swipes a hand through his hair.
“I’ve been sick at the thought of Mirabelle without a father.
” His gaze drops to where I hold her in my arms. “Sick that you might have slept with someone to . . .” He pauses, swallowing thickly.
“That you . . .” He can’t even form the words.
That I got pregnant without him. Is that what he wants to say?
He exhales a second time, as if blowing away what he can’t say.