Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
ATLAS
Hector made another round through the diner to make sure every window and door was securely locked.
I followed him like a puppy. I was still shaken up from the day, and I didn’t want to be alone. Most importantly, I wanted to be near Hector.
He didn’t say anything about me practically hanging off his arm as he quickly did his checks. His indulgent smile reassured me, and soon we were back upstairs in the safety of our home.
It was crazy to think how much had changed in just the span of a year. I looked around the living room and tried to remember what it looked like when I’d first arrived.
There hadn’t been much in terms of furnishings and decorations besides the couch, TV, and dining table.
The place was a lot fuller now, with paintings on the walls, throw blankets and pillows taking up half the couch, and rugs covering up most of the floor.
I’d even purchased a few cat towers for Shadow, though it seemed my bribes didn’t work.
The black cat jumped down from one of the cat towers and made his way toward us. His tail swished high in the air as he weaved through Hector’s legs.
Hector scooped the little baby up, and the cat looked at me with a smug look. I thought I’d gotten used to it by now, but I was feeling petty about him trying to hog my man.
I bounced to their side and slid into Hector’s arms too. Shadow let out an annoyed meow and whacked me in the head. I knew he didn’t really hate me, since no claws were used.
Shadow eventually jumped from Hector’s arms—probably tired of being near me—and slunk away into some dark corner.
“You two really have to learn to get along,” Hector said with an amused smile.
I grunted and pulled him to the couch so that I could snuggle up against him again.
Hector obliged and wrapped his arms around my middle.
He might not have rock-hard abs you could bench-press from, but he was perfect cuddle material.
Being wrapped up in him was like being wrapped up in a warm cloud.
“Shadow started it,” I grumbled. Hector’s chuckle tickled my ear.
“He thinks you invaded his space,” he said softly.
I turned around so that I was still in his arms but facing him now. I scooted onto his lap and let my legs hang on either side of him.
“I guess I did. I invaded your space too. You offered me a night, and I talked you into renting me a room indefinitely.”
Hector’s lips curved skyward. “You were pretty persuasive,” he said teasingly. He reached out a hand to cup my cheek, and I nuzzled against it. “And I’m glad you were. I’m glad you’re here.”
Hector had never been expressive. He was a man of few words, after all. I could guess he liked me based on his actions, but he’d never outright said how he felt about me, so today had been a shock for more reasons than one.
“You called me love,” I said. Hector looked confused, so I added, “Earlier. You called me love.”
“Oh, that.” Heat was blooming on Hector’s cheeks, and he couldn’t meet my eyes. “It just, um, slipped out.”
I was the one to cup his face this time, forcing him to meet my gaze. “It just slipped out? So it meant nothing?”
“No! That’s not…” He closed his eyes, and a deep sigh slipped through his teeth. When his browns locked back on me, he said, “I don’t know how to do this, Atlas. Love isn’t something I’m familiar with. I didn’t grow up with it.”
He’d told me a bit about his childhood. His parents were druggies who were unfit to take care of a kid. They were also to blame for their bad reputation attaching itself to Hector, and he never tried defending himself.
“What about Angelina? Didn’t you love her? Didn’t she love you?”
He searched my eyes, and I wondered if he was searching for jealousy.
I still had a bad opinion of Angelina after what I’d heard about her, but I couldn’t erase the years they’d spent together.
I wasn’t asking because of my jealousy. I wanted to know he’d had love during those years. I hoped he did.
“We…it’s complicated,” he ended up saying.
He took another deep breath. “She and I were together, but it wasn’t for love or anything like that.
She was in an abusive relationship at the time and needed help to get away from him, so she found the big bad in town, who so happened to be me. I wanted to help her.”
“Of course you did,” I said softly. I rubbed his cheek, and his beard tickled my palm. “You have the kindest heart I know. Going out of your way to help anyone in need.”
He shot me a soft smile. “I’m not as great as you make me sound.”
I shook my head at how he was still unused to getting compliments. I had to work on that.
“So you and Angelina pretended to get together to scare off her ex, then ended up in a real relationship?” I asked.
He nodded. “She had nowhere to go, so I offered for her to stay with me and help with the diner. We cared for each other, I’m sure. I think we were both lonely and didn’t want to be alone…so we decided to stay together.”
“I’m surprised I didn’t hear about this from the town gossips. This sounds exactly like the kind of drama they live off of.”
“People who live in the light rarely pay attention to what happens in the shadows.”
The way he said that made me realize he considered himself to be part of the shadows. Someone to be forgotten and overlooked.
I twined our fingers together. “I see you. The real you. And I always will,” I told him.
He brought our entwined hands to his lips and kissed the tips of my fingers. We shared the silence with tender looks between us until I couldn’t curb my curiosity anymore.
“There was no love? You two never talked about building a family together?” I asked softly. It wasn’t jealousy speaking. It was fear that Hector had spent over a decade with someone without the comforts love gave you.
Hector shrugged. “She never wanted children, and I agreed to that when we got together. She had her own trauma, but that’s not my story to tell.”
He gripped my hand, his eyes bouncing back and forth between mine, as if pleading with me not to ask him about it.
His shoulders were tense, probably warring between keeping his word and not wanting there to be secrets between us.
Knowing him, he wouldn’t have told me even if I did ask. That was the kind of loyal man he was.
I squeezed back. “I understand,” was all I had to say for him to relax.
His shoulders were less tense as he continued, “I think I loved her. How could I not, when I spent over a decade of my life with her? I think she loved me too. In her own way. Maybe. Probably.”
“She did,” I said with finality. I hated how uncertain he was about this. Nobody deserved to be in a relationship where they had to question if they were loved.
Hector’s smile told me he thought I was indulging him. “She cared for me, sure.”
“She loved you. I’m certain,” I said firmly.
I didn’t believe anyone could spend that much time with Hector and not end up loving him.
She must have seen his kind heart too. Otherwise, why else would she stay with him for so long?
Why would she go to him for help in the first place?
“Maybe it wasn’t the kind of love filled with romance and the fairy-tale happy endings that you see on TV, but I’m sure there was still love. ”
There was another beat of silence between us. Hector just looked at me. The light caught the flecks in his dark brown eyes, showing me a depth of emotion inside them that made me want to pull him into a hug and shield him from the entire world.
His voice was rough when he said, “Thank you.”
“No thanks necessary. I’m just stating the truth.”
He chuckled, and warmth spread through my body. I loved hearing him make that sound. I loved seeing him like this, with his guard down and not having to be strong. Maybe, as he said earlier, true strength was knowing when to rely on others—and I wanted to be someone he could rely on.
“What I feel for you is different from what I felt for Angelina,” Hector suddenly said.
“It’s okay. I’m not asking you to compare the two of us. I’m not going to be jealous just because you loved someone else before me,” I told him, then added, “Okay, maybe just a tiny bit jealous. I’m only human.”
Hector’s lips twitched, and I considered making him smile another win.
“It’s true, though. As you said, our love wasn’t the fairy-tale kind. We got together because of our circumstances, and our bond was based on that too. I loved her and wanted to take care of her, but it wasn’t all-consuming like…”
He paused and let his head hang. I didn’t let him off so easily and brought our gazes together again. “Tell me, please.”
“My feelings for her weren’t all-consuming like they are for you.
Angelina and I…we didn’t even touch the last few years of our relationship, and I was okay with that.
I would’ve been okay living that way for the rest of our lives.
But with you, I don’t think I can survive without your hugs for a day.
You clawed your way into my heart and made a permanent residence there. ”
My heartbeat was in my ears, and I was probably grinning like an idiot. “I am pretty stubborn when I set my mind on something. I wore you down.”
“No, that’s not it. You showed me what it’s like to live in the light.
You’re like a sunbeam. When the light hits through the window in perfect warmth, the entire world turns magical for a moment.
You yearn for it but are afraid of getting too close and the magic ending, so you bask in its beauty until it’s gone, and long for it when it is. That’s what you are to me.”
“I—”
Fuck, that was the most beautiful and heartbreaking thing anyone had ever said to me. I had no clue how I was supposed to respond to something like that, but I was certain about what I wanted to say.
“I love you.”
“I didn’t say all that to force you to say that. Not that I don’t like hearing it, I just wasn’t trying to force you to say anything before—”
“Hector?” I cut off his rambles.
He cleared his throat and answered, “Yes?”
“Just kiss me and tell me you love me back.”
“I love you,” he said and kissed me just as I asked. Even if he’d kept quiet, his lips conveyed his emotions to me. He kissed me like he was taking a life-saving breath.
His cheeks were pink when we pulled back. “And I’m, um, not just saying that because you told me to. I love you, Atlas. I want to cherish you.”
“I know,” I said, smiling. Hector wasn’t the most expressive with his words, but he’d always shown me he cared with his actions. “And I’m going to say it again in case you still have doubts. I’m not going anywhere. This magic—you and me—it’s one that’s never going to end.”
He pushed me until my back was against the couch, and he was on top of me. We held each other and laughed between kisses.