Chapter 13
RASHA
“Iwould love to dance,” I say to Harald. I don’t want to dance at all. I want to argue with Shaw until he tells me the truth about the tomb or until I kiss him to satisfy my curiosity.
“Your demeanor has changed, Rasha. Did seeing my commitment at the forge bring you happiness?” He slides his hands around my waist. I let him lead us into the middle of the Hall near the biggest of three burning fires to keep us warm.
“I don’t like how you govern, but I did appreciate your offering.” I step away from him so we form the beginning of two lines. Joanna and Katrine come to fill in the places next to me, and a group of men, including Bjorn, take up the spaces on Harald’s side.
“You’ll learn, like the rest of my clan. They are prospering because I know what is best. I have brought more coin to our mountains than any other Jarl. You should be impressed,” Harald boasts and waves his hand for the music to start.
In the corner of my vision, I see Shaw take up a place at the end of the line. A glance to my right shows Joanna matches me with a bloodied chin and a weary stare, but Katrine, who somehow managed to keep her face clean, looks ethereal.
“Your future?” Joanna asks as we turn around each other, my palm to the back of her hand, then we switch to turn the other way.
“Confusing. Yours?” I mutter.
Joanna halts a beat before picking up her dress at the knees to kick her foot out opposite mine.
“Reindeer, Rasha. I saw reindeer.”
“I did too.” I watch as she switches places with Katrine and am forced to spin around Harald to get to the next set of women in our line. Keeping in time with the music makes it hard to continue a conversation, but that doesn’t stop Harald.
“I don’t need my future foretold to me by the gods,” he shouts, loud enough for all to hear, kicking his feet the same as us and turning around two younger women. “I know in my heart that Rasha is my future. And the King will bless our clan with riches beyond what we can imagine.”
“Harald is our future,” Bjorn says, spinning Katrine around his body. She plants a quick kiss on his cheek and resumes her place with another woman, touching their hands together, and so on. Katrine dancing with Bjorn is certainly not in her best interest. He looks at her like she’s his next meal.
Shaw is two men away from me, and the next two young women are thrilled to have a turn with him. As mad as I am that he lied to me, jealousy boils over in my blood as I watch one rosy cheeked woman drape herself around him in a twirl.
“Something terrible is going to happen before Yule is over. My runes foretold,” Katrine whispers in my ear when we meet.
“I don’t doubt that. Thank you for putting the gift from the women away,” I say, bringing our bodices together and back out.
“I’ll always support you. But please be careful.” She gives me a little push toward Shaw. His hands press against my dress, finding my ribs effortlessly, and time halts around us.
“I’m sorry,” Shaw says without pause.
“For touching those women?” The accusation falls from my mouth, and he chuckles in my ear.
“We are all dancing. Harald touched you hours ago in my forge, and I didn’t cut off his hands.” Shaw spins me around his body. For the first time tonight, I can see the embroidered lynx clearly stitched on his tunic. “I’m sorry I lied about the tomb.”
“You have to stop protecting me.” I find an ounce of anger through my desire.
“I’m not protecting you. If anything I will get you into trouble.”
“If trouble means living with you deep in the forest, I’ll take it.” Another gush of honesty makes him hold me close.
“Rasha.” His deep voice makes me forget why I am here in the first place.
“I am teasing. I need the bow, Shaw.” We push against each other in unison with the rest of the line.
“You don’t know what you’re asking. A mortal cannot claim her bow,” he whispers. I have no choice but to turn around him and walk up the line, back to my place in the front.
My chest heaves with information from the rune and Shaw, along with everything else I’ve discovered.
Jorvik didn’t tell me that Harald plans to seize the reindeer herd because he knew I would have stayed to protect them.
The women in all the clans look to me to guide them.
And Harald expects me to marry him in a week.
“Rasha?” Harald asks, and I blink over at him.
“I need some fresh air.” I grab Joanna’s hand and drag her up the side of the Hall, searching for an exit. Ingrid and Enora take our places in the dance so the music doesn’t stop.
“Slow down. They are going to think we are in trouble,” she hisses behind me.
“We are,” I shoot back and push through a side door into the kitchens. Empty baking trays, coated in flour, sit in stacks on low tables. I walk to the window, throwing both sides open, letting snow and icy wind pour into the room.
“What happened?” Joanna asks, coming to my side, but it’s hard to look at her. Each breath comes tight and strained. I need to fill my lungs with air, but my chest constricts instead of letting me breathe. Maybe I haven’t recovered from the night out on the ice?
“Joanna, can I have a minute?” Shaw asks from the doorway, and she backs away. I grip the edge of the window, letting my fingers grow cold to feel something other than fear.
“It’s okay Joanna,” I tell my friend, and she takes out my bedroom key that I gave Katrine, passing it to me on her way back to the feast.
Resting against the window, I count to five until my lungs fill with cold air, and I release my first full breath.
Shaw walks around the kitchen and gathers two cups from a shelf.
Watching him yank the cork out of a leather flask, I focus on his hands as the amber liquid splashes into the cups.
I count to five again, breathing in his scent, and welcome the familiar feeling as I listen to my heartbeat resume a normal rhythm.
“Can I apologize properly?” Shaw asks, holding out a cup. Calm settles around us, and I take the cup, cradling it, but not tasting the ale. Shaw drinks it down in one gulp. We all have our own ways of finding equilibrium.
“Why are you so desperate to keep the bow away from me?” I ask.
“Because the woman who finds and wields Skadi’s bow will be hunted, not just by Harald, but the King, the other clans, and who knows what else. Skadi herself was hunted,” he explains, sitting astride the bench. I can’t help but sit too.
“If you didn’t believe I was good enough to live up to the goddess, you could have said so. You didn’t have to lead me to believe it didn’t exist.” Leaving the cup on the table, I curl my hands in my lap, and Shaw fits his fingers around mine.
“You are more than good enough, Rasha.” He lifts my chin to look at him. “The bone runes were given to me by the Seidr herself. They don’t lie. The runes have foretold that you will wield the bow, and I will die.”
“I can’t let you die for me. You owe me for helping Aslaug, but not with your life. How do we fix this?”
“You don’t marry Harald,” he says without restraint, intertwining his hand in mine. I laugh as my core rumbles in acceptance, and all I want is more.
“Joanna and Katrine saw reindeer in their runes. Maybe there are more women who share the same future as you and I? We gather everyone and leave before Yule ends while Harald is ill prepared to chase us down.”
“I am not someone people follow or trust, and I still need to find my map.”
“Harald asked me about the reindeer. He offered to give me a group to search for them.”
Shaw moves away at my confession. Walking around the room in thought, he rubs his smooth jaw. I get the sense he’s holding back again, unwilling to give me his trust.
“I didn’t say anything about what you’ve told me. But I haven’t seen any evidence that Harald knows about Bjorn taking your map.” I spread my dress out around my legs. Jorvik’s harsh words from this morning ring a bell in my memory. “Jorvik knows.”
“Knows what?”
“He knows about the map. He mentioned something about having another meaningful thing to secure his position besides me. There is nothing else Harald needs besides the reindeer herd and a wife.”
“He’s not going to get either.” Shaw crosses the room, sweeping the cold air with him. “We will look for the map tomorrow. Bjorn must have it, and I have yet to repay him for hurting Aslaug. Then we will leave.”
“What about the bow?” I search his face for a hint that he wants more than my help. He reaches in his pocket and takes out a bracelet, the metal shimmering in the little light from the kitchens.
“This will show you the way if the goddess hears our prayers.” His fingers find my wrist, roaming up my arm and softening my tense muscles. I open my palm as he traces the sensitive places on the inside of my forearm until he reaches my fingers.
Our eyes meet, and for a split second, I feel we transcend time. He makes me feel seen in a way that brings forth an ethereal part of me. Underneath my hard huntress exterior there are feminine pieces, soft and delicate, that beg to be let out.
“Shaw, I would give myself to you if you asked.” The golden irises embedded in his hazel eyes flare. “The Maiden at the end of Yule is supposed to.”
He slips a bracelet over my hand and up my wrist, dipping his forehead to mine. Our breath mingles, and I swear there are sparks in the air like those coming off the kiln.
“I know how the rituals are supposed to go. That is why I am giving you the bracelet. It’s what we made the night I found you on the fjord.”
I touch the beautiful piece of silver and gold, remembering the mix of ore and the honeyed wine.
I move to see his whole body, the one I’ve welcomed in my dreams. “Thank you for making it for me.” Running my tongue over my lips, I don’t want to know the rest of my future or the hardship I am sure is waiting for me.
Shaw backs up, keeping my hands in his and says, “The ritual works both ways. A man needs to give himself up as well, so can you do me a favor?”
My chest caves in at the absence of his body next to mine. “Anything?” I force my legs to stay tightly closed.
He walks to the door, opening his arm to usher me out to the Hall. Walking past him back to the feast, I hear him whisper, “Don’t get caught at the Hunt.”