Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
RYAN
“My parents are having a get-together this Saturday, and my mama insisted your entire family just had to attend,” Jones told me as we lay in his bed together.
Karla had fallen asleep about an hour ago with Lily to accompany her, and since she’d been getting better at sleeping through the night, I was able to snag some alone time with Jones.
Jones chuckled nervously at my expression and quickly added, “It’s just a casual thing!
My mama invites practically everyone she knows.
My friends will be there, too, so you don’t have to overthink it.
I think Mama figured since all my cousins and their spawn will be there, Karla could come and make some friends her age. ”
“I…I dunno,” I ended up saying. “Karla has her therapy on Saturday.”
“You can come after! Trust me, cookouts are an all- day affair. You can come and stay for as long or as little as you’d like,” he added.
“You really want us to come? Everyone’s going to know about us .”
“I’m pretty sure everyone already knows. You and Karla are practically at my house every day,” he said with a laugh that couldn’t hide how nervous he was. When I was still unable to gather my words, he whispered, “Do you not want to make us official?”
“That’s not it!” I quickly rejected the idea and smoothed out the wrinkles his frown caused. “I’m just worried.”
“Worried about what?”
Countless thoughts fought to gain attention in my mind. Things had been going so well with both Jones and Karla, but what if this was all because we’d been living in a perfect little bubble of our own? What if it all came crashing down once we added everything and everyone else into the mix?
Jones cupped my cheek and kissed me. The action silenced my mind as I focused on him. “Don’t run away. Tell me,” he whispered against my lips.
His choice of words had me wondering if my leaving all those years ago was still haunting him…or if he thought I would leave him again.
It made me realize just how understanding Jones had been through all this.
He told me he wasn’t going to forgive me, but based on his actions, he’d already forgiven me the night I apologized.
And ever since then, he’d been letting me set the pace, was always understanding with Karla, and never demanded anything from me.
My attending this get-together was the first thing he was really asking of me, and here I was, only thinking about myself again. I was the shittiest person in the world.
“I’m sorry. I was just being stupid,” I said, and kissed him again. “Of course we’ll go. I’ll ask my mom and grandma if they’re up for it, too.”
Jones wasn’t as happy with my answer as I thought he’d be. “Tell me what you’re worried about,” he insisted.
“It’s nothing?—”
“Ryan.”
I sighed and confessed, “What if we don’t make sense out in the real world?”
He raised a brow. “Last I checked, we aren’t living in a fantasy right now.”
“You know that’s not what I meant. Everything’s been so…perfect, you, me, Karla, Lily…What if it gets all messed up once we add other people into the mix?” I paused, then added, “What if your friends hate me?”
“Why would they hate you?” Jones asked, sounding genuinely confused.
I shot him a raised brow. “Did you forget the whole me ghosting you for a decade thing?” I muttered. I really didn’t want to remind him about it, but it wasn’t like burying it in the past would help anything, either .
I was using the same principle I did with Karla when talking about Kassy. We were taking it slow when talking about her mother, because the scars were still sensitive, but I wanted Karla to grow up knowing her mother and the beauty she left in this world.
Jones leaned in and closed the distance between us. He kissed the rest of my thoughts away, and it wasn’t until his kisses commanded the strong, steady beat of my heart that he pulled back just enough for our foreheads to press together.
“You’re here now,” he breathed, and I could feel the smile on his lips as he said those words. “You promised me you’d tell me if you ever left again?—”
“I’m not leaving,” I insisted. He hummed a sound that was more placating than true understanding. I cupped his cheeks and pulled back so he could see the truth in my eyes. “Jones, I’m not leaving. I’m not leaving Kither Springs. I’m not leaving you . I?—”
Love you .
But the words were sand in my throat.
So much for not being the scared little kid anymore.
Jones cupped my cheeks, too, and didn’t push for me to continue. “I believe you,” he finally said and pressed gentle kisses to my eyelids.
He scooped me into his arms and held me close until I couldn’t tell where I ended and he started. We stayed like that for a moment with Jones rubbing soothing strokes along my spine that had me both sinking into him and lighting up at the feel of him .
“Plus, they’ll like you because you’re not Deke,” Jones suddenly said, breaking the quiet.
“I don’t think that’s a good reason to like someone,” I grumbled into his chest. I wished he was naked, so I had full access to his skin, but we didn’t know when Karla might wake up and come looking for me.
Jones chuckled and agreed, “No, it’s not.”
“I hate what he did to you. I hate that he even had a chance to have someone like you,” I gritted out, letting my jealousy over Jones’ only long-term relationship show.
I had an instant dislike for Deke when Jones first told me about his ex, but that had quickly turned into hate when I learned why everyone in town was whispering about the ‘ poor, brokenhearted Denn boy .’
It might be hypocritical of me, since I’d been the one to betray him first by breaking our promised summers and running away, but to betray him so intimately like that? I couldn’t imagine it.
“Someone like me?” Jones asked.
I looked up at him. “Are you fishing for compliments, sir?”
“No?” His reply was more a question than an answer, and the corners of his lips twitched as he tried not to smile.
I didn’t call him out on it and played along instead. If he wanted to hear nice things about himself, I was more than happy to oblige. I could probably sing his praises until the sun rose .
“Someone who sees kindness in everyone he meets. Someone who lives in a beautiful world, because he truly believes there’s beauty in every rock, river, or hell, even a random stick found on the side of the mountains.”
“It was one stick,” Jones muttered. “I’d never seen a stick all twisted like it was some wand from a fantasy movie.”
“And you loved your wand. Brought it with you on our adventures and waved it around like some powerful wizard out to conquer the world. It came with us every day until your cousin visited your house, saw it, and wanted it for himself.”
“Yeah, well, I couldn’t very well say no when he was looking at it starry-eyed, like it contained all the magic in the universe.”
“That’s the thing,” I said, lightly tugging the end of his beard. “You could have, but you didn’t. Because you see the beauty in the world and instead of keeping it all for yourself, you amplify it and share it with anyone lucky enough to be around you.”
“Is that how you see me?” he asked, voice thick with emotion.
“It’s how I’ve always seen you,” I answered honestly. “I cherished every single summer I had with you, because you made every moment magical.”
Jones was silent for a moment. His hand restarted its slow strokes down my spine, and I was almost lulled to sleep when he suddenly said, “We make sense. ”
“What?”
He flipped us so that he was on his back, and I was lying on top of him. I rested my chin on his chest and looked up at him.
“You and me. We make sense. Whether it’s here or out there.” He gestured toward the window. “There might have been bumps in the road getting here, but you and me? We’ve always made sense, don’t you agree?”
His dark eyes twinkled, even in the dim room bathed only in moonlight, but they were the brightest things I’d ever seen.
I smiled, finally understanding why he was bringing this up. I scooted up his body and kissed him again, because how could I not?
“You’re absolutely right,” I said.
“I always am,” he teased with a smirk. “That’s why you should stop worrying and listen to me more.”
I laughed and agreed again. I pressed my ear against his chest and let the sound of his strong, beating heart calm me. I could understand why Karla loved listening to my heartbeat now. It was a declaration that we were both living in this moment.
And that’s what I tried to do. Just live in the moment and not worry about the upcoming get together. Except Saturday came faster than my nerves could settle.
Mom fixed Karla’s hair up in a proper crown braid, not like the poor attempt of one I’d tried on her last week. She wove a yellow ribbon through it for Karla, while Mom used a purple ribbon for herself .
Karla loved having matching braids with her nana, and I was so grateful Mom always took the time to give her this little joy. Today was extra special because even her gigi had joined in on the fun with a green ribbon woven through her crown braid.
The three ladies looked absolutely stunning, posing for the dozens of photos I took of them. Karla tried fixing a pink ribbon into my hair and having me join them for the photos, but she was disappointed to realize I didn’t have enough hair to keep the ribbon in place.
“Sorry I can’t wear the ribbon, baby. Maybe we can match when my hair grows out?” I offered after seeing her shoulders droop.
She nodded seriously, which only made me more determined to grow my hair out. It didn’t matter if I’d kept my locks short all my life. Dealing with long hair was a small price to pay for my baby’s smiles.
After another quick photoshoot, Karla and I left for her therapy session. My mom and grandma would meet us at the Denn family cookout later.