Chapter 12
Nate
The Nightmare Realm isn’t just different because of the creatures who inhabit it, and the fact that it doesn’t have technology as we humans know it.
I woke to a darkness so complete I was certain there had to be curtains in the window of our room.
But once Tristan awoke and walked me out into the balcony, dressed only in sheets, I saw that the magnificent moon that had witnessed our kisses was gone.
Apparently, this is what constitutes night in this version of reality, and instead of going back to sleep, Tristan ordered us an early breakfast, and we ate it watching the magnificent silver orb climb the sky.
And this is it. The Nightmare Realm is never touched by the sun, and so the presence of the moon means another day has started.
That’s something I’ll take some getting used to, but when Tristan kisses my nape as he walks past me, or helps me onto the kelpie like the gentleman he is, I feel it’ll all be worth it in the end.
I have found my purpose.
Somehow, I was always meant to cross into this incredible, alien place soaked with romance and magic. Maybe that’s why I felt like I didn’t belong in my own world.
The morning is chilly as we set off, but I’ve got a warm jacket, I’m petting Lady in the duffel bag, and Tristan’s hugging me from behind.
“I can’t wait to see the castle,” I say, watching the trees we pass with keen interest. Everything in this realm seems that bit different, as if twisted by the dark atmosphere itself.
Tristan strokes my chest through the jacket and kisses my ear. “Hm. So. There’s something I need to tell you. I only got the news yesterday and didn’t want to spoil our evening.”
I frown, but when the little puppy peeks out from the bag, I glance over my shoulder.
“I think she needs to stretch her legs. We’re far enough from the tavern to let her roam a bit, right?
” I ask, taking in the rocky terrain sloping toward a pond that shines with the same silver as the moon above it.
Tristan reaches past me, strokes Lady’s fuzzy head, and takes his time looking around. “I suppose it should be fine. We just need to make sure she doesn’t walk off, but you have her leash.”
There’s no one here but us, and my stomach does a little backflip when I lean back and kiss his perfect jaw.
“Thank you. Dogs need a lot of activity,” I say, watching him descend to the gravel.
Apparently, the kelpie does not need to be hitched to anything, because Tristan just leaves Stone at the edge of the road once he’s done helping me down.
But with Lady wiggling happily inside the bag, so very eager to explore all the brand new scents, I’m too busy clipping the leash to her harness to pay attention.
“This place looks so magical,” I say, letting the puppy tug me across the mossy clearing peppered with small shrubs. There’s even a little stone bench by the water. “Straight from a gothic novel.” I grin and reach back until my fingers find Tristan’s. “You wanted to tell me something?”
I’m a little worried when he doesn’t smile back.
“Yes. It’s… about the castle.”
“What about it? That we can’t be seen together until I’m Gloombane’s Dark Companion?
” I try to make myself sound casual, because as frustrating as that thought is, I’ve been adjusting to it.
Maybe there’s even a bit of excitement to sneaking around and our romance being illicit.
For once it wouldn’t be because we are both men, which somehow makes it much less frustrating.
“We can’t, but… the thing is, we’re not going to the castle.”
I stall, falling forward when Lady barks, going after a small insect that just flew up from the moss.
“No? Then where?” I ask, my chest suddenly tightening, because what if Tristan realized that taking me to this realm has been a mistake?
What if he needs to take me right back to the apartment I share with Viola?
He groans and rubs his face. “I got a message that the captain wants to host you at his tower until the ceremony. I know that’s… frustrating, but it will only be three weeks. I’m guessing he wants to get to know you better without distractions. At least you’ll get to learn a lot about shadowcraft.”
I deflate and crouch next to Lady, who looks back at me, asking for attention. It will be much, much harder to continue my thing with Tristan under such conditions, but I suppose it can’t be helped. “We’ll be careful.”
“I’m not invited.”
My head’s empty when I frown. “What?”
I breathe slowly, trying to calm my racing heart, but Tristan’s looking at the ground, lips tight.
He’s serious.
“But… I don’t know him,” I stutter.
“That’s why he must want you there. He’s not interested in men, so you don’t have to worry about that.”
That is… a relief, because having to avoid a man’s attentions while being stuck in his house for almost a month is the definition of a nightmare.
“And you knew this since when? That message you read when we crossed into the Nightmare Realm,” I say sharply and look away when Lady scoots down to do her business.
I can’t believe this is the way I’m finding out.
Tristan finally meets my gaze. “I didn’t want to spoil our evening.”
The contents of my skull are cooking, but I won’t follow my baser instincts and raise my voice, because we’re here with a baby, and she’s not at fault. “You mean, you worried you wouldn’t get in my pants so easily if I knew.” I’m beginning to question everything he told me last night.
Tristan raises his eyebrows. “Nate. You wanted me in your pants.”
“So? I might have wanted it a bit less if I knew you were lying to me!” I hate that Lady looks up at me in alarm, but I can’t help the emotions rattling in me.
“I’m sorry. Maybe my judgement was clouded by wanting to make you happy.”
I roll my eyes, because this is typical. I always get emotionally invested in relationships too fast, only to have my heart broken. Why would I assume this time would be any different? “Do I look happy now?”
He spreads his arms. “Would it have really been that much better to know sooner?”
I shoot up, hoping I can keep my dignity by not breaking down over this. “Yes. I want the truth, not empty promises.”
“The promises aren’t empty! You will come to the castle for the ceremony in three weeks. We will reunite. I will be free to pursue you. Do you not know I hate this too?”
I stumble to the side when Lady pulls on the leash, but I stand my ground and meet Tristan’s gaze despite the turmoil inside me. “Why can’t you stay? Maybe if I asked him—”
“He won’t allow it.” Tristan takes a deep breath, wrapping his fingers on his nape, and I hate how even now I have to admit he’s pretty as a picture. “I will ask anyway.”
I nod, fiddling with the leash in my hand as the breeze howls somewhere above, bringing with it the scent of smoke. “I don’t think he really wants me there anyway. He told you to throw me back into the river.”
“He was tired, it was a long night for us—”
“Are you really making excuses for him?”
Tristan bites his lip and focuses on Lady instead of me. “A Dark Companion is extremely important to a shadow wielder who wishes to enhance their power. You are very valuable to him.”
About as valuable as that last piece of bread left in the packet, when one is too tired to go shopping for more.
I exhale. “And yet he didn’t even bother to fetch me himself.”
“He doesn’t appreciate the human realm the way I do.
But I guess that’s just another excuse. I admit it, I’ve got no love for him.
But he’s the one whose shadow is bound to yours, and so we have to bear it.
Believe me when I say that given the chance now, I would have just tied your shadow to mine, consequences be damned. ”
Impossible promises are easy, but when Tristan reaches for me, golden eyes on fire, I find myself believing him regardless.
I am such a loser.
“Fine. We should go,” I say and pick up Lady, who yelps unhappily.
The gorgeous moonlit pond no longer seems so magical. Even the kelpie isn’t as fascinating now that dark clouds have gathered over my heart.
Am I really this gullible? I’ve always had this problem. I try to avoid lying, so I assume others are just as sincere. After everything guys put me through, deep down I still believe in love. I want to trust Tristan.
But it’s difficult to stay cheerful and excited when I know he’s going to desert me with a man who would rather see me die than be stuck with me.
Tristan knows better than to attempt conversation while I brood, so we travel in silence, over moors and through woodlands that are breathtakingly wild and beautiful yet don’t manage to lift the gloom that settled over me the moment I found out the truth.
Lady is my only solace, so I stroke her, and give her bits of leftovers from breakfast, and even some jerky Tristan purchased for the road. For me, he got a bunch of baked potatoes, but I lack the appetite even when my stomach starts growling.
Guilt is radiating off Tristan like a dense fog, but I don’t feel compelled to pretend he didn’t hurt my feelings. I might be naive in my beliefs about love, but I still have my dignity.
The hilly landscape transforms as we near the ocean, and while we remain on the road, once in a while passing other travellers, I spot all manner of animals.
Some are remarkably familiar, like the hares differentiated from the ones in my world by the greenish hue of their fur, others mesmerize me with their fantastical nature.
During another short break, a black bird, iridescent like an oil slick, catches my attention. Its beak is as long as my arm and threatening spikes jut out of it, but as it perches above us, its large purple eyes seem more curious than menacing.