Chapter 22
Aria
There is something therapeutic about hearing children laugh. As a nurse, it’s one of my favorite sounds, because if a child is laughing, then they aren’t suffering.
My shift is about to end, so I head to check in on one of the little boys in my care before heading home.
He came in with a broken femur and is going to be discharged in the morning.
When he first came in, the little dude was a bit sad because he has to stop playing soccer for a while. It seems like he’s in good spirits now.
I end up finishing up my shift with a huge grin on my face, and it stays there as I head out.
The smile only flutters away for a moment when I remember I will be heading to my rental tonight instead of the penthouse apartment in downtown Chicago.
It feels a little odd. Even though I only spent a week and a half there, it became a routine, and it was nice to interact with people versus the quietness waiting for me at the small house.
Grayson was officially cleared yesterday and has his pain under control, so he no longer needs someone at all times to make sure he doesn’t let his addiction win.
Plus, I have to be out of the rental soon. Just thinking about packing up and moving to a different place, even in the same city, makes me itch. It’s a good thing most of my stuff is in storage, but I’m still not looking forward to looking for a new place.
Maybe this time, I will find something available for the next four and a half months instead of just one.
I hop on the train to take me to the rental, and the smile returns when my phone starts to ring and I see who’s calling.
Serena.
“Well hello, my beautiful friend,” I say into my phone, my smile growing.
It feels like I’ve talked to Serena more in the last month since living in Chicago than I did the last six months I lived in Austin, and it feels really good.
Sucks that we are states away, but it feels nice to talk to my best friend. She’s a piece of home.
“Well hello. You sound like you are in a good mood.”
I shrug even if she can’t see it. “It was a good day. All the kids on my rotation today were in good spirits, my other patient got the all clear from his doctor yesterday, and my best friend is calling me. There is nothing keeping me from being in a good mood.”
Well, there is the fact that I have to look for another place to live.
There is also the small tidbit of me not having heard from Elliot.
I thought for sure the second Grayson was cleared, he would follow through with his whole ‘you’re mine’ spiel, but he hasn’t.
He was traveling yesterday, as per Grayson, and that might have extended into today, but I still expected something.
But I’m not going to let a man not contacting me get the best of me. I had a good day, and not hearing from him is not going to ruin it.
“I have some news that might make it a little better” Serena singsongs on the other line.
I sit up in my seat, excited to hear her news. “Are you pregnant? Are you giving me another niece or nephew?”
A snort comes through. “No, but I love the enthusiasm.”
My shoulders fall, and I pout. “I guess. What’s your exciting news then?”
“We’re going up to Chicago! Well, I’m keeping my fingers crossed that we are.” She squeals, and I can almost picture her jumping up in her seat.
It takes me a second to register, and as soon as I do, my pouting is all but forgotten. “You are? When? Oh my God, how long do I have you for? We should one hundred percent have a girls’ night.”
Serena laughs. “I don’t exactly know when. Something came up, and Leo says it would be a good idea to get out of Austin for a bit and since you’re in Chicago, heading north would make sense. I don’t know how long we will be there for and if it’s a quick turnaround.”
While I’m a bit sad it may be a quick trip, I’m still happy I will get time with my best friend—if it happens.
“As long I get to see you and you show me all the pictures, I’m good,” I say, already getting to planning of all the things Serena and I can do. “What will bring you to me?”
Serena is silent for a beat and her enthusiasm from earlier gone completely. “Well, things…have been tense here.”
Right away, my shoulders tense. “Are things okay with you and Leo?”
If she tells me no, I will jump on the first plane back to Austin and kick his ass. I don’t care if he’s a cartel drug lord; I will beat his ass if he has even thought about hurting her.
“Leo and I are fine. Put the mama bear claws away.” I can’t help but let out a sigh at her words and smile at the fact that my best friend knows I was about to fight for her. “The tension is coming from his line of work.”
My body tenses again. It always does that when she even half mentions the cartel.
Leo keeps Serena on a need-to-know basis. According to her, they have an agreement: she won’t be told the everyday dealings, but if it’s something major, she will know about it.
“Is everything okay?” I ask, standing when the train comes up on the next stop.
As I get off the train, Serena lets out a heavy sigh before she responds. “Honestly? I have no idea. Leo says everything is fine, but I overheard him talking to Santos about possibly going even more underground than what they already do to let things die down.”
“What does that even mean?” I ask as I cross the street, making sure the phone is pressed firmly to my ear.
“Disappearing, I think. Giving me and his sisters and the babies a new identity to hide from the probing, possibly. I don’t know.”
It breaks my heart to hear how scared Serena sounds. It also breaks my heart that one of my first thoughts is how she wouldn’t be in this mess if she married someone normal and not a cartel kingpin, but I bury that thought deep.
I’ve spent a lot of time with Leo and Santos these last few years, got to know them as individuals.
Yes, they have done bad things, but that isn’t what defines them.
They are both great guys, both great husbands.
They just have a loyalty to something dangerous, and that comes with deadly consequences.
“What brought this on?” I ask, my curiosity getting the best of me. You don’t just talk about going underground. Something big has to trigger it.
I wonder if that same thing is why there’s a trip to Chicago in the horizon for her.
Serena lets out a sigh and her next question has me stopping in my tracks. “Do you remember the name Jack Harrison? The Austin congressman who was elected in November?”
My whole body goes cold, and I nearly drop the phone.
My eyes close, and tears threaten to form.
No.
Please, tell me he is not involved.
Please.
My voice shakes as I try to speak, but I control it enough to say the words without showing how much what she just said affects me.
“Yeah, I remember.” I more than remember.
“From what I know, someone gave him information on Leo and his men, and from the looks of it, he is trying to use it, in whatever form he can to bring them down.”
I lose all feeling.
This is my fault.
If Serena loses her husband and her baby loses his dad, it’s going to be all my fault.
Fear envelops me, and all I want to do is drop to the floor and cry. But somehow, I’m able to find it in me to speak. “Do they know who gave him information?”
Please say no. Please say no.
“No. I haven’t heard anything. It’s probably someone who tried to work with them, got caught up in something, and now thinks the only way to get out of it is to talk to the politician.”
Or someone who had too much to drink and wanted to talk about her friends and loved ones to her boyfriend because she was tired of everything being a secret.
I try my hardest to push down the lump in my throat, but the lump doesn’t seem to move. “Yeah, probably.”
Serena doesn’t notice, though, or maybe she does and just doesn’t say anything. “I’m keeping my fingers crossed that things with the congressman die down a bit, and it’s not a continuous dark cloud over our heads.”
Tell her. Tell her the truth. Tell her you know Jack Harrison and that you were in a relationship with him, that you could very much be the reason she loses everything. Tell her.
The words almost leave my mouth, but I hold them back, just like I have been doing since I met Jack. Instead of coming out with all my truths, I keep them hidden and act like the best friend Serena knows me to be.
“Everything will work out.” I don’t know if I’m telling myself or her. “And I promise, when you come, there will not be a single thought about whoever this Jack Harrison guy is.”
Lies, lies, lies. There will be thoughts about Jack, that, I’m sure of.
Given what Serena just told me, there is no doubt in my mind the bastard trying to take down her husband will be front and center in every thought I have.
He’s been present since I first met him, even at times I so desperately didn’t want him to be.
Serena lets out a laugh all the while I’m trying to hold myself together. “That would be greatly appreciated.”
We talk for a few more minutes before ending the call.
As soon as Serena is gone and it’s just me, I loose myself in my thoughts, so much that I don’t even know how I got to my rental, but I did. The second I walk inside, I slouch down against the door, the sting of tears invading my eyes.
This time, instead of pushing them away, I let them come.
I don’t know how long I cry for, but it’s enough to be angry at myself for what feels like the millionth time for breaking every rule I set and getting involved with Jack Harrison.
I shouldn’t have let a nice smile and beautiful promises get into my head.
I shouldn’t have trusted him. I should have come clean to Serena when I was with him, because maybe then, I wouldn’t be in this mess.
I should have told her who he was and what he was taking from my life.
Maybe if I would have told her, Leo and his men would have taken care of Jack a long time ago and he wouldn’t be threatening them now.
I could still tell her, though. It’s not too late. If she and Leo come to visit, I can come clean about my indiscretions. Maybe I can also help Leo in some way to keep Jack from the Cartel’s door.
The more I think about telling my secrets to help my friends, the more the tears start to dry up.
Yes, I am still angry at myself for all the things I did.
That will never change. I will still kick myself for those lies—not because it changed the path of my life, but because it’s threatening those I love.
Serena and Noah, Isabella and her baby…they could lose the men who mean the most to them.
If that ever happens, I will never forgive myself.
I have to tell them. I have to come clean. They may be angry with me—hell, they may kick me out of their lives—but as long as they know the truth, that is all that matters.
The second I get Serena and Leo in a room together, I vow that everything will come out.
With determination starting to make its way through me, my hands land on my face, and I wipe away the remnants of my tears.
As I push myself up from the floor, I hear my phone chirp with a notification.
Since I spent the remainder of my walk home in a cloud, I have no idea what I did with my phone once the call with Serena ended.
I look through my stuff and end up finding it in my tote bag next to my dirty Tupperware that houses my meals for today. I grab it and check the notification.
Right away, a small smile forms on my face.
It shouldn’t.
Given the shit Jack put me through and how much life he drained from me, I should be wary of every single man. No man should make me smile just from looking at my phone. Yet, here I am, one message and a smile is forming.
I open the message.
Elliot
Send me your address, please.
I push all the feelings and thoughts about Jack away and bring out an Aria that he hated to see, the Aria I am with my friends and family and wasn’t allowed to be with him. The Aria that was lost for so long and is finally starting to see light of day again.
Aria
Look at that, you figured out how to use my phone number.
We had exchanged contact information when I started working with Grayson, but up until now, we had yet to use it.
Trust me, I’ve known how to use it, and I would have used it yesterday as soon as my brother got cleared, but I didn’t want to scare you away.
I thought you were traveling.
I was, and I would have flown back to Chicago as soon as Grayson texted me to keep my promise to you, but I couldn’t.
My fingers hover over the keyboard for a few seconds before I work up the courage to type.
You would have ended your trip early for me?
Ten whole seconds is how long I wait until there is a respond on my screen.
Yes.
Now, let me ask again. Can I get your address? Please.
I’m trying hard not to compare this man to the one who came before him, but it’s hard not to. Jack would have never ended a trip early for me. But Elliot would have and I didn’t even have to ask.
Without thinking about it too hard, I send off the address.
I will be there in twenty minutes.
My heart flutters a bit at that thought that I’m going to be seeing him in a few minutes, and as I walk into the bedroom to change and clean things up, I let out a sigh.
I’m going to have a hard time keeping my feelings out of this friends with benefits situation, I just know it, but I’ve never been one to say no to a challenge.