Chapter 43
Aria
“Are you okay?” I hear Serena’s voice and it takes a few seconds to realize that I zoned out and have been starting at a patch of zinnia’s she has in the garden.
My eyes move away from the flower to my best friend.
I give her a reassuring nod. “Yeah, I’m more than fine.”
The words aren’t convincing whatsoever. I know it and Serena knows it.
My friend gives me a sad smile. “It’s okay not to be okay. You went through a lot.”
I feel my head move up in down in an agreeing nod, but I definitely don’t feel agreeable.
“I shouldn’t be sitting here right now. I betrayed you. You should cut the metaphorical cord that attaches us at the hip and never speak to me again.”
“Never. I would never do that.”
“I basically said I hated your husband.”
She shakes her head and comes closer. “No, you said you were angry I stayed married to him. There’s a difference.”
“Not a big one.” I grumble, looking down and finding a rock I can kick as I swing my legs on the bench where I’m sitting.
A hand lands on my thigh. “Do you hate Leo?”
“Of course not!” My eyes immediately find hers.
“Are you sure?”
“If I did, I would have stayed away and made it known. I wouldn’t have spent the time getting to know him and become friends with him.”
She squeezes my thigh as a small smile spreads on her face. “Then there is a difference between anger and hate. Are you still angry we stayed married?”
Without an ounce of hesitation, I answer. “No. You two were made for each other. I love that you found him.”
That makes her smile grow even more. “I’m glad you think that.”
“You should still cut me out of your life.”
Serena lets out a sigh and turns until her back is hitting the back of the bench.
“Am I angry? Yes. I wish you had voiced what you were feeling instead of holding them in, but I know you. You hold things in until they eat you up inside and you have no other option than to burst,” she pauses for few beats before she continues.
“I also know that feeling that way ate you. You hated yourself for feeling the way you did and in your mind that makes it ten times worse.”
Tears springs into my eyes and will them away.
I’ve already cried so much today, I don’t want to continue otherwise I will have to be treated for dehydration.
I’m about to say something, but my friend stops me.
“I was angry at myself too, you know,” she says, moving her eyes toward the garden in front of us.
“I had walked away from him that day. And there were a few minutes, when I saw you strapped to the bed, where I thought how what we were going through wouldn’t have happened if I had said yes to the divorce when he offered it.
If we hadn’t been stupid and gotten married in Vegas.
I was angry at myself for putting you in danger.
For a long while after that I blamed myself. ”
I take her hand in mine. “Did that anger ever go away?”
She gives me a nod. “Somewhat. Leo has definitely helped control it, but there are days where he doesn’t come home, where I don’t know if he’s dead or alive where the anger reappears. I guess no matter how much time has passed since I said I do, I haven’t gotten used to being a kingpin’s wife.”
“You may never will and that’s okay. And it’s also okay to feel angry from time to time. As long as you love that man, you will be able to get through it.”
“I love him so damn much,” she says through a small laugh and I can’t help but to laugh with her.
“Yeah, I can tell.” I hit my shoulder to hers and a small laugh turns into a whole damn laugh fest.
God, we needed this.
When the laughing dies down, I wrap my arms around my friend, my sister. “Thank you for being here with me and not kicking me to the curb.”
She wraps her hands around my forearms. “Nothing will separate us. We’re sisters, remember? We are stuck together in this lifetime and in every single one that has yet to come.”
“To caskets in every life.”
“To caskets in every life.”
We both let out a laugh, but we do not untangle ourselves from the each other as we sit on this bench in the middle of the garden and watch as the sun starts to set.
I don’t know how long we sit here, in the silence the Texas night, but it feels both like the longest time and the shortest. No matter what though, it feels like a piece of home.
People are right when they say you don’t know how long you miss something until you aren’t able to experience it again. And I did miss Texas and Serena and the life and family that we built here, but I also miss Chicago. It’s only been a few hours away and I want to go back.
This may feel like a piece of home, but I have a new home now.
“Okay!” Serena says, when the sunset is nearly gone, pulling away from me to turn and face me. “I have a total of maybe five minutes before Isabella gets here with Noah, I need you to tell me everything about Elliot.”
There’s a big smile on her face and I can’t help but smile back.
I feel my cheeks get hot at the mention of him.
Who the fuck am I that I’m getting hot at the mere mention of a guy’s name?
“What do you want to know?” I may have held back on telling my best friend things before, but that stops now. I’m all for telling her everything. Especially when it comes to Elliot.
Okay, maybe I won’t tell her everything. I have to have some secrets.
“All the juicy details. From the very beginning. I want to know how you met, how you connected. Every single thing.”
I smirk. “Do you remember me having a hot staring contest with a guy when we we’re checking in to our hotel in Vegas?”
“Oh my god! That was him?!”
I nod and give her every single detail.
* * *
It’s late into the night when Elliot comes into the room Serena and Leo are letting us stay for the night.
After the emotional afternoon that we had, my best friend didn’t want to let me go, so she forced us to stay here. I was more than happy to agree.
I had already closed her off from so much, I wasn’t going to deny her this request.
Right now, I think her and I are in a good place. We definitely still have things to work through, still have some trust to re-earned, but I think with some time, we will be back to the best friends we know we can be.
After I told her about everything me and Elliot, she applauded him for giving me his credit card and becoming my person, she dove into the small details she hadn’t shared over the phone.
The battle between her mind and heart to take a pause on teaching.
The conversation she and Leo had about adding another child to the mix.
The way her and Isabella have been spending more time together now that she only a few weeks from her baby to arrive.
She looked so happy while she spoke, but like she knows me, I know her and could see the underlying fear that coated her words, and it became stronger when Isabella walked in with Noah. It was then that I saw the emotion clearly.
It was fear that something was going to happen to the man she loves. Fear that she will lose him and their son won’t be able to truly know him. Fear that this life she built could be gone in an instant.
I’ve regrated my relationship with Jack before, but I never regrated it more than I did sitting in that garden watching my best friend doing everything to hold herself together.
If Leo and his men aren’t able to get rid of him, I will find a way to do it myself.
What good is it being a nurse if I can’t use it to take out assholes like him?
Taking my mind way from committing murder, I watch Elliot from the bed aa as he comes deeper into the room.
He looks disheveled, almost as if it had been days since he slept or he got hit by a truck. Possibly both. He doesn’t look like the put together guy that I’ve come to know and love.
It’s because of me.
He looks like this way because he has been trying to fix a mess that I created.
I hate it. I hate it so damn much.
Not being able to hold my tongue for much longer, I break the silence in the room.
“Did you three come up with a plan?”
After Elliot told Leo he had an idea on how to bring down Jack, they disappeared into Leo’s office. they didn’t come out, not when Santos arrived shortly after they closed the doors or when Isabella came over to drop off Noah from their Tia and nephew date as she called it.
I wanted so badly to go in there and see what was happening, to be part of the planning. Maybe even offer my knowledge on to use a syringe, but Serena told me it was best to let them work it out.
Did part of me want to tell her that us two could possibly plan a take down better than any man? Yes. Did I? No. I simply listened to her and followed her outside.
For hours, I’ve been picking at my nails, fighting the urge to find out what they were planning.
Elliot sits at the edge of the bed and starts taking off his shoes.
With his back to me, he gives me a nod. “We did.”
Even his voice sounds tired.
I scrap my fingernail along my thumb. “Is it a good plan?”
Curiosity is getting the best of me, but I have to know. I have to know if Leo and Serena and Noah and the rest of the Muertos are going to be safe.
Elliot hands his head and his hands rest on his thighs. I’m two seconds away from throwing the covers off my body and crawling over to him when he interrupts my train of thought.
“How about I tell you in the shower?” He says, standing up from his bed and swiftly taking off his t-shirt.
I gawk at him for a second. The man may technically work a desk job, but he takes really good care of his body. He has tight abs, a well-defined V and a happy trail that my tongue has become best friends with. The man ins mouthwatering.
Add the fact that he has his glasses on, and has since this morning when I found him in the kitchen, and he’s my favorite walking dream.
“The shower?” I find myself asking even though I’m mesmerized by the way he’s taking off his jeans.