Promising Little Poppy (Littles of Rawhide Ranch #4)

Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

Poppy

Looking up to the sky with wide, green eyes, Poppy Miller watched as snowflakes fell down around her faster than she had ever seen in her entire twenty-seven years on Earth.

It was colder than she remembered it being last year at this time, and she knew for a fact that, while they had seen flurries last year as early as October, they didn’t have any substantial snowfall until halfway through December. But now, in late November, snow came down in curtains so heavily she could barely see the large building that held the resort and Littles’ Wing of Rawhide Ranch through the sheet of white before her.

Sure, she could have used the tunnels that ran beneath the Ranch. Climate-controlled to keep employees, residents, and guests safe and comfortable, they were ideal for days when the southwestern Montana weather was not cooperative. And in an area that saw over ninety inches of snow each year, that was more days than the average place.

Yet there was something about the cold weather—something about the chilly, wild wind and fresh, crisp scent filling the air when the snow came down–that Poppy loved in small bursts. Given the warm, cozy tunnel or the cold yet invigorating outdoor walk from the Ranch University’s dorm, Poppy would choose the outdoors every day.

It took her longer than usual to reach the front porch off the lobby given the less than ideal conditions outside. Her long, blonde hair hung down around her shoulders wet from the snow, and her nose was nearly frozen by the time she pushed through the massive double doors.

If the cold was king, walking into the toasty, welcoming warmth of the building was the queen who greeted her like an old friend.

Kicking her snow boots along the doorframe, Poppy relished the change of temperature as she tried in vain to leave as much of the powdery white stuff behind as possible. With anxiety over her upcoming meeting with the Ranch’s owner deep in her tummy, she missed more snow than she shook off and a trail of wet puddles and footprints followed her across the wooden floors of the lobby.

She waved at Luna, who was hard at work checking someone in at the front desk. A pretty woman Poppy had never seen before turned to look in her direction, a serene smile appearing on the woman’s lips as she took in the surrounding lobby with a sense of wonder on her beautiful face. A weird, tingly sensation happened in Poppy’s stomach as she watched the woman admire the double-sided stone fireplace that stretched toward the ceiling. As the stranger’s eyes glided across the lobby to take in the numerous guests and residents who milled about the space between their day-to-day tasks, classes, jobs, and chores, Poppy realized the feeling in her belly was pride.

Ever since she’d arrived at Rawhide three years ago, she’d loved being part of the Ranch, feeling a sense of belonging she had searched for her entire life. It was a feeling she held on to strongly but feared was slowly starting to slip away as she inched closer and closer to her spring graduation date from Rawhide University.

Ugh .

Suddenly, that sense of pride was gone and nervous anxiety quickly took its place in her belly once again. The uneasy energy forced her forward through the grand space that always took her breath away as if it were the first time. Her boots continued to leave puddles as she crossed the room, yet she paid them no mind, too focused on getting where she needed to be on time.

Continuing her journey toward Master Derek’s office, Poppy took a quick peek at Erika’s office, confirming the sometimes receptionist and all-the-time Jill-of-all-trades wasn’t present and quietly let herself into Derek’s office through the lobby entrance.

In hindsight, maybe she should have chosen to sit upon one of the wooden benches outside Master Derek’s office until she was told to enter. But Poppy had never been called to the office before unless it was for discipline and, for the life of her, she could not remember doing one thing that would have earned her a punishment worthy of being sent to the Ranch owner’s office.

She had been good since the incident with the slime during her chemistry lab.

Until the incident with the glitter during her spring costume-design course.

But since then, she had been as good as gold—an old saying her mom used to tell her once upon a time that she still kept close to her heart. Though some days, she still really wasn’t quite sure what it meant. And she certainly didn’t feel as worthy as the precious metal used to symbolize everything from wealth to a promise of forever when slipped around a finger in a simple or ornate-banded form.

Seated on the couch across the room from his desk, Master Derek sat with a young woman draped over his lap. Poppy had seen many punishments as they happened throughout her time on the Ranch. And yes, she had even received a few of her own punishments over the last few semesters at Rawhide Ranch University. But, she had never seen a grown man give a grown woman dressed like a princess a spanking before outside of a dungeon setting.

The scene before her did something unexpected, creating a feeling she had never been able to place a name on before. It was like someone had turned on the television to one of those channels filled with nothing but black and white static and placed that television inside her chest cavity, but first they had warmed that static up before placing it inside her, making sure it would soothe her as much as it intrigued her curious mind.

Master Derek paused, his hand hovering over the bare skin of the woman across his knees. Her backside was red, several welts that looked like fingerprints blooming across her buttocks.

“Miss Miller, our appointment isn’t for another ten minutes.” He said the words as he held Poppy’s gaze. “Is it appropriate for you to walk into my office without so much as knocking first to seek permission?”

An uneasy sense of dread filled Poppy. She hated disappointing anyone, even though it was something that seemed to happen often.

It happened when she forgot her notes for class and had to be sent to Master Grant’s office for discipline, often writing line after line stating she wouldn’t forget them again. It happened when she couldn’t please the last person she was in a relationship with, when she couldn’t live up to the expectations her family placed upon her, when she forgot important appointments no matter how many reminders she set.

“I’m sorry, Sir.” Averting her eyes, she made to move for the door, but Master Derek stopped her.

“Please, have a seat Poppy. We are just finishing up here.”

As she turned and lowered herself into one of the leather chairs across from Derek’s desk, the man’s hand connected with the woman’s backside. She squeaked out a weak number ten as their flesh connected. Poppy found herself equal parts scared and ready to run from the room while just as equally intrigued by what that type of punishment would feel like on her own bare bottom.

Feeling like an intruder, Poppy watched as Derek righted the woman, helping her pull her bubblegum pink panties up before again helping her smooth down the princess dress that had been hiked up around her body to expose her bottom to the Ranch owner and disciplinarian. She hadn’t met the woman before, but knew her as Elise, one of the Littles who lived on the Ranch. She averted her eyes as the two shared quiet words not meant for her ears, watched as Derek helped Elise dry her eyes with a cloth handkerchief, and then looked away once again as he gave her a gentle hug, sending her on her way.

When Derek and Poppy were alone in the room, he finally turned his attention to her, a stern look on his ruggedly handsome face. He sighed and Poppy felt the disappointment as it radiated off the man like waves crashing upon a hot summer shore.

What felt like hours passed between them in stilted silence when in reality it couldn’t have been more than thirty seconds.

And when Master Derek finally spoke, she was hoping her fears would be eased. But instead, he simply led with, “Miss Miller, what am I going to do with you?”

Before Derek could speak again, Poppy was crying. Big, heaving sobs coming from deep within her belly shook her entire frame. “I… I’m so sorry,” she stammered. “I know I should have knocked. It was wrong of me to barge into your office without having your permission.”

She felt like she couldn’t get enough air in her lungs, like she was drowning and couldn’t get her head above water no matter how hard she tried to break through the surface. Pushing up from the chair, Poppy paced back and forth while trying to catch her breath. Her skin was clammy and sweaty, yet she had chills at the same time. And though her blonde hair hung in still-damp waves around her shoulders, she could feel the familiar pinpricks along the back of her neck, as if each and every little hair was standing on end and exposed to the elements.

“I’m always messing up,” she managed to say through sobs. “It doesn’t matter what I do, I just can’t seem to make anyone happy.” Tears streamed down her cheeks, falling onto the plush, water-resistant fabric of her down-filled winter coat before rolling to the wooden floor beneath her feet. “I don’t even know what I did to be called here today, yet here I am. I can’t ever seem to keep myself out of trouble.”

Derek was across the room in a moment, stilling Poppy with a gentle hand to each of her shoulders as he often did with the Littles at Rawhide Ranch. And while Poppy Miller did not identify as a Little, the soothing technique usually worked on most people in distress. “Hey there. Who said anything about you being in trouble? Let’s try to take a few deep breaths together, okay?”

With a shaky nod, Poppy agreed and together, the pair took several deep breaths—in through the nose for a count of four before holding the breath for a count of seven. Finally, they exhaled through the mouth on a count of eight.

“There you go, darlin’, just keep on breathing in and out nice and slow. Why don’t we sit together on the couch instead of going back to my desk. Maybe that will help you to feel a bit more comfortable?”

As the pair situated themselves on the couch, Poppy felt embarrassment settling in. “I don’t know what happened,” she said, her voice still unsteady. “All of the sudden it felt like I was suffocating and I didn’t know what to do. I’m so sorry you had to see that happen.”

“I assure you, Ms. Miller, there is nothing to be ashamed of.” Derek passed Poppy a cloth handkerchief he produced from the back pocket of his jeans and for a split-second, she wondered how many of them the Ranch owner kept on hand. “And I want you to understand you were not called to my office today for any type of punishment. You’re not in trouble, Poppy. I simply wanted to talk to you a bit about your remaining time in college. I know you only have one more semester at the university, and I was hoping to have a conversation about your future.”

“My… future?”

The Ranch owner nodded. “Have you thought about what you want to do after you graduate with your degree?”

Poppy hung her head in shame, her cheeks heating as a familiar red blush spread across them. “I don’t know. I’ve liked all my classes but I always seem to get bored quickly. What happens if I can’t keep a job? If I get as bored as I do with my jobs as I do with my classes? As I have with everything in my life? It’s already hard enough being one of the oldest girls taking college classes. What happens if I enter the real world and I don’t fit in with anyone there just like I feel I still haven’t quite figured out how to fit in here?”

Master Derek seemed to think for a few moments. And while the silence that stretched between the two wasn’t at the point of being uncomfortable, it hung heavy as Poppy waited for the smallest glimmer of hope that she wasn’t destined to fail from the get-go.

“May I ask you a few personal questions, Poppy?” Derek asked the question, allowing Poppy to give her agreement, as he asked for permission in all aspects of dealing with his residents and guests. Derek was never one to take consent for granted—always erring on the side of more rather than not enough.

Wiping at her nose once again, Poppy nodded. “Uh-huh.”

“What just happened here in my office, has that happened to you before?”

While Poppy usually kept her struggle with anxiety a closely-guarded secret, she knew Master Derek wasn’t asking to be nosy and that he truly had her best interest at heart. “It used to happen a lot when I was younger,” she confessed with a quiet voice very uncharacteristic of the usually chipper woman. “Then I seemed to grow out of it for a few years.”

When she didn’t continue, Master Derek prompted her to continue, “And now?”

She didn’t want to cry again. Her body was already feeling depleted after the panic attack she’d just endured. Still, a few tears trickled out. “A few times a week.”

“I’m sorry you have to experience something so disruptive to your life, darlin’. No one should have to experience something that affects their life so greatly. Especially an intelligent, sweet young lady such as yourself.”

Forcing a small smile she didn’t quite feel, Poppy nodded at Derek. “I just have a lot on my plate right now. Like you said earlier, I’m going to be graduating soon. And in predictable Poppy fashion, I have no idea what that means for me next. I still don’t know what I want to do with my life. By twenty-seven, I thought I would have a career, a family—at least a group of friends I felt like I could count on. But here I am, and I don’t have any of that.”

Master Derek gave her a look full of empathy. She knew he took his responsibilities to heart. After all, his great-great-great-grandfather had founded Rawhide Ranch with young women much like Poppy in mind. And now, generations later, it was his job to make sure that residents, students, and visitors were well cared for, though she had to admit she wasn’t making it easy for him.

“Have you ever considered speaking with someone who is professionally trained in helping people who experience anxiety?”

Poppy was acutely aware of Master Derek’s phrasing, never singling her out to feel like she was odd for having panic attacks. Not like her brother and father used to do to her as a young child. Not like her ex boyfriends had done, the last keeping her isolated and alone until she had begun to question even her own sanity. “No, I never thought I needed to. I guess I just sorta thought that, after a while, they would disappear on their own.”

After all, Poppy thought to herself, didn’t everything disappear after a while, people included?

Though she didn’t voice the words out loud, Derek seemed to sense a shift in her mood. “While I would never require it of anyone, I think you would find some wonderful benefits in talking with Dr. Catherine Denten, our resident psychologist. I know many people here at the Ranch who have utilized her services. In fact, I’ve even visited her a time or two myself to help with learning effective coping mechanisms for dealing with stress.”

“Is that where you learned how to breathe like we did before?”

He gave her a nod along with a gentle smile that calmed her racing heart. “You’re very observant, aren’t you?”

She flushed under the praise of the Ranch owner, averting her gaze to somewhere over Derek’s shoulder.

“Will you be going home over the upcoming holiday break?”

Along with a lengthy summer break, the university had a winter break that lasted from just before Thanksgiving up until after the first of the new year. And while no one was asked to leave the dorms during holiday break, many chose to visit family and friends during this time. Poppy, however, was not one of the students who fell into the latter group.

It might have stung in the past to have someone ask her of her holiday plans. But by now, it was just part of life she quickly brushed over. “No, Sir,” she replied quietly. “I’m going to be staying at the Ranch. I’m excited to see everything as the holidays approach. I really do love the winter, so I can’t wait to see what the staff does with the place. Every year, I seem to be more excited than the last.”

Derek smiled again, waiting until she returned her gaze to him before he spoke. “Have you ever helped out at the Ranch around the holidays? We have quite a few events we plan annually and we’re always looking for volunteers...”

A knock on the door interrupted Derek. Glancing at his wristwatch, he called out to the person on the other side of the heavy door Poppy had burst through just a short time earlier. “Give me just a second, please.”

Turning his attention back to Poppy, he asked for permission to give her a hug as they stood before wrapping her in strong arms that seemed to settle her even more. She knew Derek was a Daddy, but that was as much as she knew about the Caregiver and Little dynamic. Still, she couldn’t deny that the warmth in his hug was much different than the way the men in her past had hugged her.

“Would you do something for me this weekend, Poppy?”

Ever eager to please—somehow feeling her self-worth was tied to making others happy—she nodded her head.

“Now, now, darlin’,” Master Derek said. “Hear me out before you go committing to something you don’t know anything about.”

Poppy bit her bottom lip. “I’m sorry, Sir.”

“You don’t have anything to apologize for, Ms. Miller. Well, except for maybe barging into my office earlier, but I think under the circumstances, all can be forgiven. I apologize for worrying you as badly as I did. Truly, that was not my intention.”

She smiled, knowing that Derek honestly meant it. “Thank you, Sir.”

“You are welcome, darlin’. Now, what I would like from you this weekend is to spend a little bit of time reflecting on your time here at the Ranch. Write down what have been your favorite classes and least favorite classes. It doesn’t have to be anything formal or tidy. Just something we can go over together on Monday afternoon. I would really like to help you to feel more settled, Poppy. Whether that be with a future here at Rawhide Ranch after you graduate or outside of our gates, I want you to feel like your time here was beneficial.”

“I can do that, Sir.” Her answer was confident and sure. A tone that betrayed the anxiety swirling in her still-unsettled tummy.

“And it doesn’t have to be limited to just the activities at the university. Anything you’ve enjoyed or disliked during your time here could be beneficial to us discovering your true path.”

As she headed toward the door, Derek passed her a small card with Dr. Catherine Denten’s details on it. And while she wasn’t sure she was ready to reach out to the psychologist, she did feel a bit more confident that she had a plan and even more grateful Master Derek seemed to know exactly what she needed.