Chapter 10 Pump the Brakes
Baffle
Something in my gut kept telling me that I needed to go back to Nell. I knew she was safe with the club members but my gut wouldn’t let the worry rest.
If I was honest with myself, I also wanted to make sure that there was no unfinished business between Roxy and me.
Not that there was any on my side. She’d burned her bridges just before the wedding, but the woman needed to know, once and for all, that there would be no rebuilding the shit she burned down.
When she first came back to the clubhouse after she tricked me into sleeping with her, it felt like I had my old friend back.
The one who didn’t have stars in her eyes where a relationship with me was concerned.
She went back into buddy mode, apologized to me, told me all about the therapy she had received while she was away, and how she understood what she did was wrong.
I didn’t let anything slide before accepting her back.
I even asked about the condoms and she seemed truly startled by the fact that they had been tampered with.
I really thought we might be able to salvage a friendship.
All of that was now moot since her outburst at Bigfoot’s wedding proved she still had hopes that we would end up together.
Worse - she was still delusional about the fact that it would happen at some point.
I wasn’t sure when or how everything between us got so twisted up.
I’d never led her on or given anyone the slightest inclination that we would ever be linked romantically.
By the time I found Roxy, she was behind the clubhouse talking to her father, Punchy.
He was still fuming about shit and Crutch was off to the side, as if he thought his intervention might be necessary.
Crutch was our former president of the New Mexico Chapter.
His son, my best friend, had taken over a few years ago after a spill on his Harley put the man out of commission for a while.
When Crutch realized how much he enjoyed not being in charge of anyone, he gladly handed over the reins and never looked back.
“You!” Punchy yelled as he noticed me walking across the grounds. “You fucking defiled my daughter and thought you could get away with shuffling her off somewhere else, like she was a club whore you didn’t want around anymore!”
“Dad!” Roxy pleaded with him. I could see fear in her eyes, even from the distance that remained between us. Something was going on here, and judging from my history with Rox, I thought I might have a pretty good picture.
“Fuck off with that noise, Punch,” I tossed back at him. As soon as Roxy realized I was there, she made her way toward me. When we met in the middle, she tried to wrap herself around me and I stepped back and to the side. “No. You don’t get to touch me,” I growled.
“Baffle!” My name on her lips made my skin crawl. “Why are you doing this? Why are you breaking my heart again?”
“I never broke your heart for a first time, Rox. You did that all on your own.”
“I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for what I did back then. I wanted you so much and you refused to see me as the woman I was. I didn’t know what else to do. I’m sorry. Please, stop punishing me for what I did.”
Punchy had been paying attention. He moved in closer, as did Crutch. My former prez stayed on the periphery enough that neither Punchy or Rox even registered that we had company. I was thankful for his presence, though. As fucked as it was, it felt like I needed a witness for this conversation.
“What the fuck are you apologizing for?” Punchy asked his daughter.
She started to sob louder and fell to her knees. She continued to apologize without giving her father any answers, so he turned to me. He didn’t like the scowl on my face. I guess he thought I should feel some kind of sympathy for his daughter who was on her knees begging me to forgive her.
I was pissed that my hand was being forced, but I finally told him everything that happened three years ago when his daughter tricked me into sleeping with her.
I even mentioned the condoms being tampered with because now that Rox had tried her bullshit again, I wasn’t so sure she knew nothing about it.
There were other condoms that had been tampered with throughout the clubhouse that had been found when we purged them.
It was the only reason I believed she hadn’t done it.
After the hysterics she threw my way when I announced I had a wife, all the way to her behavior as we stood on the clubhouse lawn, I wondered if she spread them out so it would throw off suspicion.
I said as much to her father as we all stood there.
“There’s no way my girl would stoop to using club whore tricks to land a patch.”
I shrugged my shoulders and pointed to where his daughter was still on her knees crying. “Ask her.”
For a minute, I didn’t think he would. Then Punchy leaned down and reached out to lift Roxy’s chin with his beefy fingers. “Darlin’ tel me the truth, is that what happened between you all those years ago?”
Her eyes immediately filled with tears again. “I’m sorry,” she whispered to him.
Punchy stood so abruptly that Roxy slipped back on her ass and nearly toppled over.
“You tricked the VP into sleeping with you and then tried to baby trap him, too?” he asked.
Rox admitted nothing, but she also didn’t try to lie to defend herself.
“Just like your mother,” he growled as his hand sifted through the thinning, gray hair on his head.
“I can’t believe this shit. I fucking defended you!
I spoke out against my VP in front of the entire club in there.
” He snapped his thick, sausage finger in the direction of the clubhouse.
“I put my patch on the line coming at him the way I did and all for a lying, conniving whore.”
“Daddy!” Roxy gasped in shock.
“No, you don’t get to call me that ever again. I’m done with you. Maybe the smart thing would have been for you to stay away.”
“Dad!” She sprang to her feet and tried to grab onto the man as he walked away. He snatched his arm back and glowered at his daughter.
“Do not fucking touch me. We are done. I want nothing to do with you. I ain’t calling for you to be banned from the clubhouse properties because your mother wouldn’t have it.
If he allows you to stick around, then you best be thankful and watch your fucking behavior because you no longer have my backing as family. ”
“You can’t mean that,” she argued in a tiny voice that bespoke of the heartbreak she felt. That much I knew wasn’t faked. Roxy was a daddy’s girl through-and-through. We all watched as Punchy marched off toward the clubhouse and disappeared through the backdoor.
I turned back to the woman who had been my friend longer than just about anyone else.
“No more, Rox. I mean it. This was strike two. You heard your dad. He removed his claim on you. I’ll still honor it, as will the club, because I think he’ll have a change of heart once he calms down and gets some distance from the shock.
Still, this is the last fucking straw. I’m married to Nell. That isn’t going to change.”
“She’s a stranger you picked up in Vegas. How can you say that? How can she mean more to you than all the years we spent together?”
“We were not together!” I shouted at her.
“As friends. You knew what I meant,” she clarified sheepishly.
“No, that’s the fucking problem, Rox. I don’t know what you mean when you try to spin things with sly words and Freudian slips.
It ends now. We aren’t playing this game anymore.
I don’t care what my mom wanted before she died.
For that matter, I have no way of knowing if she even wanted us together.
Something doesn’t sit right with that because she never said a word to me about it.
I also don’t give a fuck what your mom or even Tilly wants and you shouldn’t either.
They don’t get a say in who I fuck or who I marry.
It will never be you. Get that through your head.
I know they did a number on you over the years.
It’s the only reason you’re getting another chance.
I suggest you hit up that therapist you talked to and get back on track before you’re gone for good. I’m married. Nell is my woman.”
Roxy glared at me as she stood and moved so that the tips of our shoes touched.
“Yeah? You’re married. She’s your woman now, but who are you here with, Patrick?
Where is your brand new wife? You didn’t care to check on her.
You dropped her ass and came running to me.
That should tell you exactly where your heart lies even if you try to lie to yourself. ”
I turned and caught Crutch’s eye. He gave me a nod that ensured he had it handled and I walked off to go find my wife.
Fuck.
Roxy was wrong about me having feelings for her or the reason I sought her out.
That didn’t mean guilt hadn’t seeped in as her words slapped me in the face.
If she thought about it that way, I wondered how Nell felt.
It had taken far longer than I’d hoped to settle this bullshit and I felt like an asshole for leaving her that long.
I hoped like hell some of the club women took her under their wing and showed her around.
Tilly was there, and as the former head ol’ lady, it would be her job to do it since Bigfoot was no doubt keeping his brand new wife too occupied to carry out that responsibility.
Despite her teasing and pushes over the years for me to get together with Roxy, I knew in my heart that Tilly - my surrogate mom since my own was killed - would have my back.
Not just my back, but that of any woman I brought around and put my claim on.
I scanned the clubhouse as I made my way back to the corner of the common room where I’d left my wife.
She wasn’t there. It was obvious from the minute I walked into the clubhouse that the corner was surprisingly empty, but it was more than that.
Everyone turned away from me as I walked by and that did not bode well at all.
I moved deeper into the crowd of people as I continued to track and dismiss everyone in my view.
She wasn’t here. Panic set in and my heart rate kicked up before Brady approached.
“Not sure where she ran off to, but there was a bit of trouble.”
“What kind of trouble?” The first thing that came to mind is that maybe one of the men hadn’t realized she was mine and had been too pushy.
When Brady didn’t answer immediately, I grabbed his shirt and pulled him close to me.
“What fucking trouble?” I spat the question at him through clenched teeth.
“Hey man, you don’t need to shoot the messenger. I stepped in and put a stop to everything when none of your fucking club people did. Lila and Tilly were going at your woman telling her to pack up and get gone.”
“Fuck! Why didn’t someone come get me?”
“I didn’t know where you were and none of them bothered.” He pointed at all my club brothers who were standing around looking guilty as fuck.
“We’ll have words about this later,” I warned before I took off.
If they were telling her to get gone, Nell might have already taken off.
My woman wasn’t one to stick around if she felt as though she wasn’t wanted.
She sure as fuck wouldn’t make an exception in a place where she felt threatened. Not after what happened in Vegas.
I took off for my Harley because she still had her shit stashed there.
When I realized everything was still stowed away in my saddlebags, I turned in a circle looking for her.
I’d never been that fucking frantic to find someone in my life, but my gut sloshed with regret as I circled around the building hoping to find her somewhat close by.
If she wasn’t here, I’d have to go search Violent Times, the club’s bar that was on the property.
She could be holed up at Marisol’s Manner, though I doubt she’d pick a whorehouse as her sanctuary.
The V-KOA was the next option, but she didn’t have money on her for anything at the gas station and even though it was the best place to try to find a ride out of town, I didn’t think she’d leave her shit here.
She’d already lost everything else in Flagstaff.
As I rounded the clubhouse, a familiar pair of tan and blue cowboy boots - too small to be a man’s - stuck out from one of our picnic tables. I made my way in that direction and nearly lost my shit when I saw my woman curled up on the bench shivering to fucking death.