Chapter 10
CHAPTER
TEN
Olivia
One of the first things the house mother gave me after BamBam left was a journal, along with a folder that has the itinerary with times listed for each meal, as well as when there’s a group therapy session.
Surprisingly enough, there are activities that I can participate in after dinner, including game nights, as well as movie nights.
They also have a giant, one-thousand-piece puzzle that’s available for anyone to work on whenever they want.
On Sundays, they’ll take those who attend church to the morning and evening services, if there is one, of course, and they do it again on Wednesdays since some churches also have Wednesday night services.
I haven’t stepped foot inside a church since the day of my parents’ funeral, and I’m still so angry at God that I no longer talk to him like I did when I was younger.
I mean, He didn’t save them, and He sure didn’t save me from Jasper’s abuse.
What was the reason for me to suffer the way I did?
Is it because I wasn’t married to Jasper, and I was paying the penalty for that biblical sin?
I shudder at that thought because it would’ve been ten times harder to leave.
But one of the things that interests me is the journal I found on the nightstand next to my bed.
It has my name engraved on the front, which I think is pretty cool, and the note on the top said it was for my thoughts and feelings.
I guess it’s a diary of sorts. I remember when I was much younger having one, and how the biggest issue I had was whether or not I would make the cheerleading squad, and if I’d be invited to the homecoming dance.
Shaking my head, I peek at Theo who’s still peacefully napping.
I grab the baby monitor that was in my room, make sure that both parts are on and head out to explore a little bit and maybe make up a few bottles so they’re ready.
Thankfully, BamBam left the bag with the formula and bottles right by the door.
As I quietly close the door, I hear the soft murmurs of several women talking. When I get closer, the three women stop and stare at me with varying degrees of interest. “Um, hey. I’m Olivia, although most people call me either Livy or Ollie.”
The redhead, who looks like she’s close to my age, smiles and says, “Hey, Livy. I’m Ashley. I saw you had a little one when you came in, how old is he?”
“He’s three months old,” I reply.
“Your ex do that to your arm?” the older woman with jet black hair that’s closely shaved on the sides asks. Her tone is brusque, and she definitely appears to have endured a lot if the fading bruises on her face are any indication.
“Yeah,” I whisper, my shoulders dropping.
“Glad you ran,” she states. “My name’s Marge.”
“And I’m Briley,” the blonde says. “Right now, we’re the only four here, but that will no doubt change. You’re the only one who has a little one though. I sure miss my Serai.”
I hate to even ask because sadness practically oozes from her pores. Ashley takes pity on me and says, “Her little girl is currently living with her parents.”
“Fucking CPS, always gotta meddle with families,” Marge spits out.
“She’s with family which is most important,” Briley murmurs.
By now, I’m sitting on the chaise lounge at the end of the huge sectional, close enough that I can talk and respond, but far enough away to give the illusion of each of us being separate.
I know that probably makes no sense, but each of us is obviously dealing with the trauma done to us by people who professed to love us.
“Their job is to protect the children,” Ashley rebuts. “If there’s concerns of abuse, they have to make sure the kids in the home are safe.”
“Yeah, but Briley had already arranged for her folks to take her little girl. There was no reason for the fucking state to get involved. They’re just legal traffickers,” Marge retorts.
Turning to Briley, she adds, “You mark my words, they’ll have you jump through a shit ton of hoops to regain custody, then at the last minute, they’ll terminate your parental rights and put her up for adoption. ”
By now, Briley is openly sobbing and despite my injuries and the pain I’m still in, I find myself hugging her to me in a futile attempt to give her some comfort.
I obviously don’t know her situation at all, but it doesn’t sound good to me.
Although… Marge comes off as brusque and abrasive, so she may just be giving a worst-case scenario.
“Marge, hush,” Ashley demands. “You don’t know that’s gonna happen to Briley, so don’t be putting those thoughts in her head.”
“Well, ladies, since y’all are all together, how about we go ahead and have a group therapy session?
” Beth asks as she walks into the room. Seeing me, she says, “If Theo wakes up, just go to him and take care of whatever he needs. If he’s hungry, just bring him back, it’s not like he’s going to cogitate anything that’s said. ”
“Okay, thanks,” I reply.
Since Briley’s calming herself, I go ahead and return to my original seat and wait for Beth to start the session. I’m completely at her mercy because I don’t know what to expect.
“Before we start, as you can see, we have a new lady here with us. This is Olivia, she prefers to go by either Livy or Ollie, and she has the cutest baby with her. His name is Theo and to answer the unspoken question, he was not the one harmed,” Beth says.
“Yeah, she introduced herself to us,” Marge says. She still sounds somewhat belligerent and combative, but she’s slightly calmer than she was, so that’s a good thing as far as I’m concerned.
“Okay, so when I walked in, I felt multiple conflicting emotions in the room. Can you tell me what I can do, or what we can do as a whole to help y’all overcome what you’re feeling?” Beth asks.
“Briley is upset because she’s missing Serai,” Ashley states. “Marge feels that the foster care system is nothing more than a legal form of trafficking.”
Well, she pretty much summed it all up in a nutshell. Since I don’t have anything to add at this point, I stay quiet. I’m sure I’ll speak my piece but hopefully it’s not today. Things are still a bit raw, and I don’t have any trust in these women yet.
“Your parents are coming this weekend for a visit, Briley, remember? You’ll have two days to spend with Serai,” Beth says.
“It’s hard not having her with me right now,” Briley admits. “But I know it’s for the best so I can get my head straight. I’m no good to her the way I am right now.”
I happen to glance at her while she’s speaking, and I notice she has wide leather cuffs on both wrists.
I can’t figure out why until it dawns on me; at some point in her past, she tried to end her suffering.
That breaks my heart, even though the thought crossed my mind a time or two before Theo.
Once he was born, my focus turned to somehow getting away, so we’d be safe.
“Marge, I understand why you would feel that way considering what happened with your brother’s kids,” Beth adds, addressing Marge’s outburst. “But in reality, he waived his parental rights just before the mother passed away.”
“And because my life was fucked all to hell, I couldn’t step in and gain custody. I just don’t understand why they wouldn’t give me a plan to follow so they would’ve still been with family, not adopted by strangers,” Marge grumbles.
“What was your living situation at the time?” Beth gently probes.
Marge huffs out something between a snort and a chuckle, but there’s no mirth behind it at all. “Yeah, they wouldn’t have been safe with me either. My own two suffered enough. Beth, is there any way possible for me to visit the cemetery this weekend?”
“It’s the anniversary, I remember,” Beth softly replies. “We’ll make arrangements to get you there, I promise.”
I don’t know Beth all that well, but I can hear the sincerity in her tone. While I’m still silent, I’m watching everyone closely so I can figure out the dynamics. I understand they’ll shift based on the residents who are here, but I can adjust. I’ve learned how to do that very well, after all.
Beth asks a few more open-ended questions before she turns to me and says, “Once lunch is done and Theo is down for his afternoon nap, we’ll do your individual session.”
“Okay.”
Guess it’s time to start facing my past.