18.
Bear
“G o,” I ordered, my gaze moving over the trees behind her as I sought out the bear. “Move, now.”
“What about you?” she replied, her eyes widening at the sound of the bear getting closer.
My gaze moved to hers, and I scowled. “Are you fucking kidding me? You couldn’t have given two shits if I were dead ten minutes ago, but now you’re worried about me being eaten by a bear?”
She opened her mouth to speak, but snapped it shut when I pulled out the gun from my waistband. Her face hardened, steeling itself into disappointment rather than the relief I expected to see.
“I’ll be fine,” I said.
“Fine,” she muttered, and started walking toward me.
I could have told her that I would be fine because I wasn’t an idiot when it came to black bears. I knew how they worked. I knew how to rile one up, and I knew how to calm one down. It was why they called me bear, after all.
She passed by me, the scent of her body giving me a heady feeling.
I turned away from her, slipping my gun back into the waistband of my jeans, and focused on the approaching bear. It was huge, its powerful body moving through the underbrush with an ease that belied its size. My heart pounded as the beast drew closer, the ground seeming to tremble under its weight. Its round ears twitched as it came into view, its small eyes finding me almost immediately.
“Don't stop,” I ordered her over my shoulder. “Keep moving and don’t look back, no matter what you hear.”
I couldn’t be certain, but I thought she told me to be careful, and I smiled at the thought, hoping I had heard her correctly.
The black bear emerged from the shadows, its fur bristling and its small eyes fixed on me. It blustered for a step or two, letting out a low, growly whine as it watched me warily. It took a couple of steps in my direction but then stopped, and I smiled as I slowly backed away from it, careful not to startle it.
It let out another low growl before snuffling in the leaves at its feet, its beady eyes never once leaving me.
I continued backing up, putting distance between myself and the nervous bear until I couldn’t see it anymore, and then when I thought it was safe to do so, I turned around and traipsed after Dahlia.
Black bears didn’t attack unless provoked, though most people didn’t realize that. They saw violent pictures or taxidermy of bears with their claws out and their giant maws opened wide to show their teeth, and they took that as fact. But that wasn’t a black bear at all.
They were much like humans in that they were nervous around new things. They hunted for food, but not the flesh and blood of a human. They were omnivores and they ate with the changing seasons. Much like Yogi Bear, they absolutely loved a picnic. JD and I had discovered that almost thirteen years ago when we had been camped out waiting for our latest drop and a black bear stumbled across us.
JD had almost shit his pants, thinking the end had come for us both. Me, though, I opened up my backpack and guided the bear away with the sandwich I had packed for the trip. JD had named me Bear after that, and told everyone who listened that I had fought a bear and won.
I caught up to Dahlia, who was hiding behind a tree, a heavy tree branch in her hands. She swung it as I passed, missing me by barely an inch. I reached out and caught it in my hand as she swung, and we both gasped in surprise.
“Jesus, you could have taken my goddamned head off with that thing,” I said.
“Sorry, I thought you were the bear,” she breathed out, looking relieved to see me.
I threw the branch to one side and gestured for her to keep walking. The bear might have been relatively harmless because it hadn’t seen us as a threat, but it was still best to put some distance between us and it.
“What did you think had happened to me then?” I asked as we walked.
“Bear snack.” She shrugged. I looked at her sharply and she started to laugh.
“That’s cold,” I replied, and she laughed harder. “Fuck me, that’s really cold, Dahlia. I could have been eaten, and you were just like ‘oh, bear snack’ and off you went?”
She laughed harder until I had no choice but to join in. We walked for a while with only the sound of our laughter and our footsteps to keep us company. Eventually, we fell into comfortable silence. I held out a hand when a large tree was in our way, and she took it hesitantly as she climbed up and over it.
I could feel the press of her palm in mine for the following mile.
Eventually we came back to more familiar ground, and the cabin shifted into view. Everything was as we left it, and the heavy burdens that had been bearing down on me shifted back into view. I felt my shoulders slouch as we got closer to the cabin, and I knew that she would be going inside, away from me. Being around her made everything seem better, and I realized I hadn’t thought about my brother or beer or any of the shit that had been burdening me since we had left that morning. Dahlia had only said a handful of words to me, but even the silence was better with her.
We headed into the clearing and we both came to a slow stop, knowing we had to part ways.
Her skin was slick with sweat, her cheeks flushed, and the urge to grab her and kiss her was almost overpowering.
“Do you need water?” she asked, and I could see that it bothered her to ask me. But that was the thing with Dahlia: she was good. Like really good. She was a good person, and she cared about others. How the fuck she’d ended up with Rocky, I did not know.
Rocky had been my friend, but even I knew that he was an asshole. He cheated on her more times than I could count, but maybe I was an even bigger asshole because I had never told him not to. I had joked about the women he bedded and the fact that his wife was unaware. And all the time it had been her…my first love. My soulmate. My Dahlia.
I had the sudden urge to tell her what a bastard he had been to her, but the thought of seeing the hurt on her face stopped me. She already hated me; I didn’t want her to hate him too. She deserved better than either of us.
“Yeah, please,” I said, my throat tight and my words coming out thick.
“Come on then.” She headed to the cabin and I followed, two steps behind. Inside, she kicked off her boots and stripped off her socks and she went to the small fridge in the kitchen and pulled out two bottles, handing one to me. “This is for saving me from a bear attack, and nothing more. Okay?”
I nodded. “Okay.”
I twisted the cap and drank it down in one long gulp. By the time I had finished she was there holding out a second bottle with a roll of her eyes and a small smile on her face, and I took it gratefully.
“Any chance I could use the shower?” I asked, knowing I was pushing my luck. “I think I fuckin’ stink underneath this.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Oh, you definitely stink.” She smirked as she said it, and if I hadn’t been sweltering under the leather and denim, I quite possibly would have gone red with embarrassment. “Go ahead. I’m guessing, since you’ve been up here with Alex before, that you know where everything is and how it all works.”
I guiltily nodded that I did, thinking briefly of how many times we had come up here for weekends, bringing women and booze. I pushed the memories away and reluctantly left. I closed the door behind me, placing one hand on the wood like I could feel her inside. Like the heat of the wood was the heat of her skin beneath my rough palm.
Longing filled me—not just for her body but for the life we could have had.
The life we should have had if my brother hadn’t asked for my help. If I hadn’t put him before her. If I hadn’t been too much of a coward to come back to her and tell her what I had done.
Would she have accepted me with blood on my hands? I’d never know now. But I changed the course of both of our lives that night, and I would have to live with that.