20. Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty
Months later
“You’re sure?” I ask once more, making sure I’m hearing correctly.
“I think I’d know better than you if my water broke.” Lucie snaps at me from the other end of the call.
“Don’t get testy. I’ve gotta swing by and pick up Gwynee. Do you need us to bring anything?”
“No. Just get here. I’m in room 257.”
“See you soon.” I end the call with Lucie and text Gwynee.
It’s time.
She responds with a flurry of emoji faces and hearts. She’s so damn excited you’d think she’s the one about to give birth.
Since Lucie graduated from her rehab program, she moved into a sober living facility. I’ve got to admit she’s done better than expected. She’s been putting in the effort to keep on the straight and narrow. Been taking parenting classes and took a job as a drug counselor. She’s really turned her life around.
Hell, she’s even warmed up to Gwynee and checks in with her a few times a week. We still don’t know who the father of her baby is, and she seems to want to keep the secret.
I can’t force her to share his identity and try not to push too hard since every time I bring it up, she gets defensive and shuts down.
Part of me thinks the baby belongs to Meko, and I guess I should feel bad for sending that asshole to hell when I put a bullet between his eyes. But the truth is, I don’t. Meko got what was coming to him. The bastard fucked my club over and messed Lucie up so badly she had to go through months of rehab to get clean. The prick got off easy compared to what he put my niece through.
I pull up at the salon and honk for Gwynee. She rushes out and hops into the passenger side. “I’m so excited. I can’t wait to hold the baby.”
We arrive at the hospital and find Lucie’s room easy enough. She’s laid up in the hospital bed, hooked up to a monitor that measures her contractions.
“How’s your pain? Did they give you an epidural yet?” Gwynee takes the seat next to Lucie’s bed.
Lucie responds by gritting her teeth as an intense contraction hits.
After a few minutes, one of the labor and delivery nurses comes by to see how far she’s dilated. “We’re still at five centimeters,” the nurse says, reading from the chart. “You’ve got a way to go but once you reach seven it will go quicker.”
“Great,” Lucie grumbles. “Oooh,” she cries, grabbing the sides of the bed, her knuckles whitening as another contraction comes.
“Breathe with it, okay? In and out,” Gwynee coaches her.
Lucie follows her advice, groaning through gritted teeth.
“Are you ready for that epidural now?” The nurse questions and Lucie eagerly nods her head.
She was trying to be brave and give birth with no pain meds, but there’s no shame in needing help. I know she was worried about it because of her struggles with addiction, but she’s doing great.
“All right, Lucie,” the new nurse on duty, an older woman with kind eyes, says. “I’m going to check how far along you are.” She pulls up the sterile sheet covering Lucie’s legs, her face betraying no emotion as she quickly examines her. After a moment, she nods. “You’re at seven centimeters,” she announces. “It won’t be long now.”
“Thank god for that.” Lucie groans, collapsing back onto her pillows. She looks exhausted already, her face pale and sweaty.
Gwynee is with her every step of the way and if you’d asked me months ago if they’d ever get to this point, I’d said no way. But they’ve grown close and bonded somewhere along the way.
The first few weeks once Lucie and the baby are released from the hospital, they are coming to live with us at the clubhouse.
It’s crucial that my niece has a good support system in place and help caring for the baby. I’m proud of how hard she has worked, but I still have lingering doubts in the back of my mind that she’s going to slip right back into her old habits once she’s no longer pregnant and has more freedom.
Within a few hours, my great nephew is born.
“Welcome to the world, Liam,” Gwynees coos over the baby while Lucie has a much needed rest. Seeing my woman holding a baby hits me square in the gut. Guilt at telling her I never want another child eats at me. She’s a fucking natural.
My heart clenches in my chest. If Gwynee is ever going to be a mother, I’ll have to let her go. She wants a future I can’t give her. I love her and would do anything in the world for her, but creating another child is the one thing I can’t bring myself to do. My reasons may sound selfish, but they are valid.
She smiles up at me and I don’t wipe the dark expression from my face fast enough. “If you need to go home, I can call Cecilia to give me a lift home later.”
“Naw. I’m where I need to be.” I push the negative thoughts to the back of my mind.
“You know, I’ve been thinking about this baby thing.”
“What about it?”
“We do have a substantial age gap, and chances are that you’ll die before I do.” She pauses to move the baby back to the bassinet. Which is smart on her part, considering the way this conversation is sounding. “The medical community makes new advances every day and women are having children well into their forties. So I figure I have at least fifteen years before my chances shrivel up.”
“So you’re planning my funeral and your future with another man?” I growl.
“Don’t stress yourself out, big guy. You won’t know anything about it.”
“Because I’ll be dead. I’m going to tan your ass,” I warn.
“Can you please do it elsewhere? Some of us are trying to sleep,” Lucie complains, and Gwynee smiles sweetly at me.
I shake my head. “You’re trying to kill me, aren’t you?”
“Not anytime soon.”
The only baby she will ever have will be mine.
Fuck. She knows how to play me and press all my buttons.
The next few months pass us all by in a blur.
Hero and Ophelia are getting married soon. Lucie and the baby are thriving and the two of them are moving into the guesthouse behind my place where Hero used to reside since he moved out with his woman. I watch Gwynee watching all of her friends move on with their lives, getting everything she wants, and I know her heart is breaking on the inside. She puts on a brave face and is happy for them. Hell, she even helped Jessika plan her nuptials to that punk Thad, but I know Gwynee. I hear her cries when she thinks no one is around.
I don’t know how to fix this for her.
She’s not brought up marriage or babies since Liam was born. She pretends to be content playing Auntie, but I know it’s not enough.
The cartel has been off our back since I took Meko down, but the tension is always there. The threats never really go away. I know they’ll turn up soon enough with bigger demands. I watch my brothers’ backs and they watch mine, a loyalty that’s gotten us through hell and back. A few more months like this and I might start to believe this peace will last. Right now, we’re enjoying the calm before the storm.
However, I can’t seem to shake the feeling of dread that lives in the pit of my stomach. Gwynee deserves more than I’m able to provide her. An existence without needing one of my guys to check her car for explosives before she leaves the house. A life without the stress about my club rivals using her to get to me. I love her too much to want this life with me for her, and yet I’m too fucking selfish to let her go.
“What are you out here sulking about?” my woman comes up behind me, wrapping her arms around me and pressing her head to my back.
“Just thinking.”
“About?”
I twist around to face her, leaning against the railing.
“You. The future.”
“That sounds ominous.”
“That’s because it is. Every day you stay with me, it’s another day you’re in danger. Another day you could be out there finding the man who wants to give you the family you dream of one day having.”
“I’ve made my choice. I know the risk and what I’m giving up to be with you.”
“It’s not right, Gwynee.”
“I love you and you love me. That’s all that matters. You’re not going to scare me away.”
“Yeah. Figured that.” I pull her in close, torn between letting her go and hoping she’ll stay.
“Okay. So where does that leave us?”
“I think you go off birth control and if it happens…it happens.” The words leaving my mouth shock me, but I’m not taking them back.
“You’d really be okay with that and not resent me?”
“Yeah, babe. Life is a game of risk and reward. And any risk taken with you is worth it. Besides, if I die and you have another man’s baby, I’ll come back from the grave to torment you.”
“Hmm. I don’t know. Getting dicked down by a ghost sounds interesting.”
I lick my lips. “Do I need to turn it up a notch in the bedroom?”
“I mean. I won’t stop you from trying.” she smiles, and I pull her in for a kiss.
“Guess we better go see if I still have what it takes.”
“Or…” she pulls me over to one of the lounge chairs and pushes me down. “We do it out here.” My woman does a sexy little strip tease, and I unbutton my jeans.