Chapter 2
Two
Charlie
Yep, there it was, the words meant to hurt me, and like every time before, they do just that. Stepping to him, I lean up on my toes and kiss him on the cheek.
Leaning closer, I whisper in his ear, “I’m sorry you're struggling, but being a dick to me because of it is a new low for you.”
I pull away and take a step back, giving him a sad smile.
My heart is breaking with emotions that I’m still not ready to acknowledge.
Just as I turn to walk away, I feel his hand grab my arm, stopping me.
Freezing, I hold my breath, waiting for what is coming.
I fight every ounce of fear that is currently bleeding into my system.
The heat of his body presses into my side when he whispers low and gruff, “Maybe if I wasn’t keeping your fucking secret, I wouldn’t feel like I need to be such a fucking dick.”
Slowly I turn to look at him over my shoulder, fighting the tears that want to betray the hurt I’m feeling. “No one is asking you to keep my secret. So, if that’s your fucking problem, then maybe we need to finally be honest.”
His eyes snap wider, distress flooding them at my words. “If you say a word to fucking anyone, I will not be the only one to lose it all. Do not get it fucking twisted, I’m the brother. You’re the charity case.”
A single tear runs down my face. “Understood.”
I pull my arm free, rushing down the hall to the bathroom so he can’t see the tears that fall down my face unchecked, because he isn’t wrong.
His words are a reminder that I'm nothing more than a fraud and here only for the charity. The feeling of guilt, self-loathing, and pure heartbreak settles in my stomach. Once I’m through the door of the bathroom, the dam on my emotions ruptures, and I barely make it into the stall before the coffee I had for breakfast decides to make a reappearance.
When there is nothing left, I stand on trembling legs, stumbling to the sink and looking at the woman in the mirror.
“Will you ever be more than just a complete fuck-up?” I grumble at the broken woman.
Turning on the tap, I rinse my mouth out and splash some water on my face to erase the streaks left by the tears.
Taking a centering breath, I pull the door open and run directly into Ivy.
She looks me up and down, a sneer on her overly made-up face.
Rolling my eyes because this bitch is fucking annoying, I go to push past her and out into the hallway, but she steps in front of me, stopping me.
“Ivy, what the fuck do you want?” I hiss, less in the mood to deal with her shit than I normally am.
“He’ll never truly want you. You're just a charity case that the club pities,” her words hit their mark after what Blitz snarled at me, but I’ll never give anyone the satisfaction of ever seeing me broken again.
I shrug. “You're right.”
It takes everything I have in me not to laugh at the look on her face. She expected me to fight her or deny what she had to say, so when I agreed to it, she was lost for words. We stand looking at each other, neither saying anything for far too damn long.
“If that is all you wanted to say, can I fucking go now? Unlike you, I have an actual job that I have to do,” I snap crossing my arms across my chest in an attempt to hold myself together.
Ivy’s eyes narrow on me before she spins on her heels and wobbles away from me.
Unable to stop myself, I roll my eyes at the absurdity of her jealousy and make my way to the storage room to start the inventory for the bar.
It does not take me long to get it all counted, seeing as I keep meticulous records of everything I have.
When I can’t waste any more time in the stockroom, I take a deep breath and make my way back to the bar.
I’m not at all surprised to see several brothers sitting around with the Club Bunnies working to find their way into a brother's pants.
“Anvil,” I acknowledge the brother who looks as if he hasn’t slept in weeks.
His tired eyes meet mine and he cocks an eyebrow. “Charlie, love, you look like you’re doing as well as I am today.”
Giving him my best sassy smirk, I shrug. “We both know I’m fucking fantastic always. Another whisky neat?”
The man shakes his head. “Yeah, love, another whiskey.”
I pour his drink before moving down the bar to the other men gathered, taking their drink orders then serving them.
I make small talk with the few Club Bunnies that I can stand before they're pulled away by a brother. The front door slams open, bringing in an icy breeze, and I can’t honestly tell you if it’s from the man walking through the door or the fact that it’s winter in Georgia.
Without a word said, I pull Johnny Walker off the shelf, setting the entire bottle and a glass on the counter in front of his favorite seat. The man grunts as he sits.
“I would almost believe you like me at this point,” I state flatly.
The eyes of a monster snap up to me, dark and emotionless, scanning me head to toe before the corner of his lip turns up. I’m not sure if it’s a snarl or the start of a smirk. “Meh,” he replies.
“Good enough for me,” I turn to grab a rag and wipe the counter down.
I work to block out the world around me.
Since the day that I arrived with nothing but bruises, mentally broken, and detoxing from who knows what, the men of the club have done nothing but make me feel welcome and cared for.
But leave it to Blitz to remind me I’m nothing more than a favor to him.
The thought of leaving once again swells in my chest and pushes me to leave now before this blows up.
That thought continues growing, urging me to get away because these men may be great now—just like Six and his brothers—but it wouldn’t take much to turn them into NOS and his fucking delinquents.
Laughter from down the hall gets my attention.
I turn to find Ainsley coming down the hall with Tasia.
I smile softly, watching them enter the great room.
Both those women have been through so much and overcame even more to find their forever.
As they make their way in the bar's direction, I fully turn and go to meet them.
Ainsley turns her bright smile on me, “Oh, yay! I was hoping I would find you here.”
“Find me?” I question her, the never-ending dread that lives in my chest squeezing tighter.
“Yes, you, silly. We’re getting ready to have a girl's day and want you to go with us.” Ansley’s excitement is infectious.
I cock an eyebrow. “Does Mercy and Raider know that you ladies are planning to go out today?”
They look between each other, smiling secretively before turning to look at me. “The rule is that we only need a prospect to go with us. Well, luckily Twitch has nothing going on right now, sooo we’re going. You coming with us?” Tasia smirks.
I shake my head, smiling because these two women give their men hell. “You two are going to get yourselves into a whole lot of trouble.”
“That’s what makes it all worth it and so much fun.” Ainsley winks at me just before her eyes cut behind me and widen.
Arms fall onto the counter, caging me in at the same time as the scent of leather, Irish Spring, and spearmint from his gum hit me. Dropping my eyes to the counter in front of me, I take a deep breath, regretting it immediately when his smell floods my lungs.
“Hello ladies, what has y’all so excited?” Blitz murmurs low.
Tasha looks between us for a long time before answering him. “Just planning some girly time.”
Blitz just hums back in response to her before speaking to me in a low whisper, “We need to talk.”
The demand in his voice is exactly what I needed to remember who I am, even if there is a small part of me that lights on fire when he growls a demand in that low tone.
Without a second thought, I slam my elbow back into his solar plexus, causing him to step back and bend over while trying to catch his breath.
Looking over my shoulder at the man who is once again glaring at me, I smirk and turn back to Ainsley and Tasia, “Yeah, I’ll go. Why not?”
Blitz must have finally caught his breath and is once again standing entirely too close to my back.
Glaring at him over my shoulder, stepping closer to the bar and away from his hard chest pressed to my back.
The sound of a door slamming down the hall where the offices are seems to cause the room to go silent as Raider storms into the great room.
I wince, instinctively stepping back into Blitz’s chest as Raider’s eyes scan the room.
They land on Tasia and soften slightly before his two-toned gaze goes hard again as he continues scanning the room.
He’s eyes finally land on Blender, narrowing dangerously. “Could you not have fucking thrown the star in the middle of a crowded bar?”
Blender slowly turns to look at Raider; a staring match ensues for a long moment before Blender turns back to the bar.
He looks at me, dark and menacing, before taking a long, deep pull straight from the bottle of Johnny Walker and standing.
Blender slowly makes his way over Raider like a lion stalking his prey.
Raider stands there like a statue, not in fear but as if waiting to see what the psychopath stalking towards him will do.
“Didn’t have to, but did,” he grumbles, before shoulder-checking Raider and slinking out of the great room towards the guy's rooms.
Raider releases a sigh, rubbing a hand down his face, “I swear to all that is fucking holy, one day I’m going to put that fucker in the ground.”
“Only if it’s a two-man special,” Terro chuckles, slapping the man on the back as they make their way to the bar.
“Fucking hell, why did I ever agree to do this bullshit?” Raider mumbles like a teenager as they take their seats in front of me.
“Charlie girl, can you get our fearless leader a shot and a beer? I’ll have my usual.” Terro’s eyes met mine, causing a shiver to race down my spine.
Terro’s eyes cut to the man behind me, radiating completely pissed-off energy.
He cocks an eyebrow before a slow smile spreads across his face as a knowing look fills his eyes.
Blitz steps closer to my back, placing his hand on my hip, giving it a squeeze before leaving without a backward glance or word.
Plastering on the biggest smile I can come up with, I spin around, pulling the requested beers out of the fridge under the bar and pop the tops.
I fight with everything I’ve got inside of me to not run and hide while my heart, soul, and mind battle with roaring emotions.
I set the beers on the bar before turning to grab the liquor to pour their shots.
Terro's all-knowing eyes never stray as I move around the back of the bar.
I finally find my rhythm and get lost in serving drinks, making small talk and keeping the bar clean until I feel settled and like myself once more.
I’m standing with my back to the room and drying some glasses to put away when a hand on my lower back scares the shit out of me, causing me to drop the glass in my hand and shatter it. Glaring at the man to my left, I snap, “You scared the fuck out of me.”
A small smirk spreads across his face. “You should pay closer attention to your surroundings.” Twitch chuckles.
“Wouldn't have to if you weren’t always sneaking around like a damn ninja,” I sass back to him.
“Are you really going to go with Ainsley and Tasia into town?” His question stings even though I know it’s not meant to.
Biting back the hasty retort isn’t easy, but I do. “I am. I think it’ll be fun. To be honest, I haven’t hardly left the club or the grounds since the day I got here. I’m excited for a girl's day.”
Before he can say anything, I move away to get the broom and start cleaning up the shattered glass. The words that follow rattle me in a way I didn’t think was possible at this point.
“Playing with fire there, Twitch,” Terro warns.
“Not sure what you’re getting at, VP, but I can promise you there isn’t anything there and never will be,” Twitch snaps.
Why does it sting like this? I don’t want to belong to anyone, don’t want to be claimed again, but somehow knowing that you aren’t wanted still shreds something deep in your soul.
Shaking those thoughts away, I bury myself in tending bar, letting the sounds of the clubhouse drown out my wayward thoughts.
When it’s time for the guys to head to the airport, I slip into the kitchen so I don’t have to watch Blitz leave.
Cowardly and even a little childish, maybe, but the thought of him leaving makes something cold settle in my chest. I know we’re nothing.
Damn, he has given me more than I deserve.
And maybe what I feel for him is nothing more than a fucked-up hero worship.
But what I do know is that it guts me every single time I’m reminded that I’m nothing more than an obligation.
A ghost who is broken and too afraid to leave the clubhouse.
He’ll never see me as anything but broken, and I’ll lie to myself every day that it’s what I want.