Chapter Sixteen #2
“You okay?” Riley asks gently.
I nod. “Just thinking.”
Abby pulls her knees up under her chin. “Want to talk about it?”
Do I?
I stare at my glass, watching the ice melt.
“I think I’m scared of how safe I feel here,” I whisper. “It’s messing with my head.”
They don’t laugh.
They don’t give me that look …the one people give you when you admit something fragile and they don’t know what to do with it.
Riley leans in slightly, her voice soft. “When I first came here, it was to find that feeling of safety.”
“Really?”
“Mmhmm.” She nods. “My ex wasn’t a good man.
I’d just had Asher. He was only a few days old but I knew I had to get us out before something terrible happened.
He hated the Shadows. Hated them with a passion.
So, I knew he’d never look for me here. I just wanted a few hours of rest.. . and a place to breathe.”
“I’m so sorry,” I murmur.
“It’s alright.” She smiles faintly. “I just wanted you to know... I understand that fear. The fear of feeling so safe you don’t ever want to leave.”
“Four years ago,” Abby says, her voice quiet but steady, “I was on a graduation trip with a few friends. We were celebrating graduation collage.”
“Abby, you don’t have to…” Riley starts.
“No, I do,” she cuts in gently. “Because Sunny needs to hear it. Those feelings she’s having? They’ll scare her. Make her want to run. Make her convince herself she wants out before she can get hurt. But you have to fight that instinct, Sunny.”
I swallow hard. “I don’t... really want to leave.”
“Neither did I,” Abby says softly. “But I did.”
She glances out across the room like she’s seeing something far away.
“While we were on that trip, we were abducted. A branch of Los Fantasmas. My friends... didn’t make it. I was held for three months.”
My hand flies to my mouth. “Oh no…”
“Spike found me and brought me back here. I felt safe even though we’re so close to the border.
But the more I had time to think, the more scared I became of that safety .
I was terrified it would be ripped away again.
That I’d lose it. So, I left. I told myself it was smart. That it was safer not to care.”
Her voice wavers. Just a little.
“I went to live with my other brother. Sam tried. He really did. But I was always on edge. Always bracing for the worst. I couldn’t live... because I didn’t feel like I had a reason to.”
Her eyes meet mine, full of something fierce.
“They made me come back here when Sam had to leave for work. And now? That feeling of safety is back. But so is that urge to run away before I get hurt. It’s still scary. But I’d rather take that risk…risk losing it…than keep barely surviving. Because here... I can actually live. ”
I don’t know what to say.
I sit there, tea forgotten in my hands, throat tight and eyes burning. These women. These fierce, beautiful survivors just handed me their stories like fragile gifts wrapped in scars. And all I can think is: Why me?
Why do I get to feel this safe? This… wanted?
And why does it scare the absolute hell out of me?
“I didn’t realize…” I whisper, voice cracking. “You both went through so much. I’ve never been through anything like that.”
Riley leans forward, setting her glass down. “Pain doesn’t come with a measuring stick, Sunny. You don’t have to almost die to be allowed to feel shaken. You’re allowed to be scared. You’re allowed to want to stay.”
“But I don’t deserve to feel this safe,” I admit, the words slipping out before I can stop them. “I didn’t earn it. I didn’t fight my way here. I just… fell into it. Into him .”
Abby’s gaze softens. “Sometimes falling is the fight.”
That undoes me.
A single tear escapes, sliding down my cheek before I can catch it. I swipe at it quickly, hoping they won’t notice. Of course, they notice.
They don’t say anything.
They just… sit with me. Let me feel it. Let me crack.
I don’t know how long we sit there like that…just breathing, just being .
But eventually, I shake it off, let the heaviness of the moment pass like a summer storm.
“Thank you, ladies,” I say with a soft smile. “I really needed that talk.”
“No problem,” Abby says, though her eyes are still a little far away. “Just promise me you won’t fight what’s in your heart.”
“I don’t think that’s gonna be a problem, Abbs,” Riley laughs, nudging me gently. “Bones has already claimed her. There’s no way he’s letting her go now that she’s here.”
“He can’t keep me prisoner,” I laugh.
“Nah,” Abby chuckles. “If you decide to move back into your apartment once you’re healed and Bones can’t talk you out of it, he’ll just move in with you.”
“You’re crazy,” I say, shaking my head, but I’m grinning.
“Watch and see.”
She stands, brushing off her hoodie.
“I gotta go. Freaking Tank keeps texting me about taking my meds, and he will not leave me alone until I do.”
“He seems very... protective of you,” I say, curious.
“Oh, he is, ” Riley laughs, eyes dancing. “Tank and Abby are totally in love, but neither of them will admit it. Abby thinks she’s too broken to be loved, and Tank thinks he’s not allowed to touch the biker princess.”
“Biker princess?” I raise a brow.
“It’s what people call me,” Abby sighs. “Because my brother’s the MC President. I hate it.”
She hesitates, then her voice drops just slightly. Quieter, more fragile.
“And... I really am broken. I don’t want to go into it, but things happened to me over there. Things that killed the girl I used to be. Now I’m just... what’s left.”
I stay silent, heart aching.
“Tank’s a good man,” she continues. “The best I’ve ever known. And I am in love with him but he deserves someone strong. Someone brave. Someone who doesn’t flinch every time a shadow moves too fast. I’d only hold him back.”
No one argues. No one gives her empty comfort or Hallmark reassurances.
We just let her say it.
Because maybe, right now, that’s what she needs most. To be heard without being fixed.
“Bye girls,” she says. “Kiss Asher for me.”
“I should go too,” Riley says. “Let me help you to the couch.”
I smile and accept her help.
“Maybe the recliner instead?” I say. “That way I can rest my arms without having to hold them up. Who knew we used chest muscles for so many things? I can’t even turn my head without pain.”
Once I’m seated and reclined, Riley’s phone buzzes.
“Oh…here.” She hands it to me. “Hold on to this until Bones gets back with yours. I just need to get Asher fed and down for his nap. I can come back over if you want.”
I take the phone with a grateful smile and shake my head.
“A nap actually sounds really good.”
Her phone buzzes again. I glance down.
“Jack’s texting you.”
“He knows you have my phone,” she grins. “I can almost guarantee it’s for you. Call Spike if you need anything. Sorry you don’t have a TV yet, but you can use my streaming accounts on there if you get bored.”
“Thanks, Riley.”
She scoops up a nearly-asleep Asher and heads for the door.
Buzz.
Jack: Forgot that you didn’t have your phone. Text me the list of what you need from your apartment.
I shake my head, smiling like an idiot as I type.
Me: It’s okay, I forgot too. Just a few outfits, my tablet, and my bathroom stuff.
…
Jack: Clothes. Tablet. Bathroom shit. Anything else?
Bathroom shit. Such a man’s response.
Me: My phone and charger.
…
…
Jack: Which panties do you prefer? You have several different kinds.
MOR. TI. FIED.
Me: Get out of my panty drawer, Jack. You can’t go through those.
Bones Calling.
Crap.
“Hello?”
“Baby,” he says, voice low and amused. “Which panties?”
“Can you please stop saying that word?” I beg.
He chuckles. Chuckles. The audacity.
“I don’t mind one bit if you walk around without any, baby. But I’ll never let you leave the house like that. Not where other men can see.”
“Jack. Honestly. How would anyone even know ?”
“They’d know,” he growls. “And then I’d have to kill them for knowing. Now…panties. Pick.”
I close my eyes and fight the burn climbing up my neck.
I can’t believe I’m about to say this.
“The gr…mm” I mumble.
“What was that?” he teases. “Didn’t quite catch it.”
“The freaking granny freaking panties, okay?!”
He laughs again. “Granny panties it is. I’ll grab one thong, just in case.”
“In case of what ?! You know what, never mind. I hate those things. I mean, why would anyone want to walk around all day with a freaking wedgie ?”
“I didn’t say you’d be walking around in it,” he says, voice dropping lower. “And I have no intention of you wearing it for more than a few minutes.”
HOLY. COW.
“Baby?”
“You’re crazy, ” I breathe, cheeks on fire.
“You keep saying that like it’s a bad thing,” Jack murmurs, voice low and smug and way too pleased with himself. “I prefer devoted. ”
“Devoted men don’t dig through women’s underwear drawers like pervy raccoons.”
He laughs again…low and deep and infuriatingly sexy.
“I was just trying to be respectful. Didn’t want to grab the lacy ones if you’re more of a cotton-girl-next-door type.”
“Oh my gosh, ” I groan, dropping my head back against the recliner. “Can you not?”
“Can I not picture you in those tiny little red ones with the bow in the back?” he asks, and I swear I can hear the smirk in his voice.
“Nothing I own is tiny. Also, I hate you.”
“No, you don’t,” he purrs. “You’re blushing so hard right now I bet your ears are pink.”
“They are not! ”
“They are, baby. I can practically see that cute little pout from here.”
“Oh my gosh . I sure am missing Darth Brooder from the market. I’m hanging up.”
“You won’t.”
“You wanna bet?”
He pauses. Then, deadly smooth… “If you hang up, I’m packing only the thongs. Every single pair. ”
“You wouldn’t.”
“Try me.”
“You’re evil, Jack.”
“Only for you, doll.”
And just like that, I’m completely undone. Somewhere between wanting to throw this phone and asking him to talk slower. I don’t even know who I am anymore.
I groan into my hands. “I swear, if you show up with a suitcase full of string and lace, I will burn them all.”
“Oh no, baby. You’ll wear one. Once. Just long enough for me to rip it off you.”
My soul leaves my body.
“Jack!”
“Yes, Sunny?”
“I hate you so much. ”
“Good,” he says, smug and satisfied. “Means I’m doing something right. I’ll be home soon, baby. Stay safe for me.”
“You can’t make me hate you and lo…ike you in the span of a minute.”
Crap. What did I just say?
“Sure, I can,” he responds. “I could never hate you, but I lo…iked you the moment I set my eyes on your face. Was just too fucking stupid to claim you right then and there.”
“You can’t claim a person like they're a prize, Jack,” I say, ignoring the fact that he knew exactly what I almost said.
“Course, I can. You’re the prize I don’t deserve but will never let go of. Now, be a good girl, and don’t move until I get back.”
“I hate you again,” I laugh.
Freaking jerk.