10
Silvia
Andy told me to wait for him in his room, but for how long? There wasn’t anything in here to keep me distracted. No television. No books. No phone. I had no idea what was going on in the world, or in Monterey.
I tried not to think about them, but Sister Theresa and Sister Lupita hadn’t been far from my thoughts.
Each time I saw their faces in my head, I wondered if they were alive.
I didn’t want to imagine what my brother might have done to them.
I guess that was why I allowed myself to get drunk the other night—to forget everything.
Going over to the window, I opened the blinds. The most beautiful view stole my breath away. Horses and cows grazed near a barn on the left. To the right were crops and an orchard. Behind everything was a mountain range in the far-off distance.
“There’s chickens!” I squealed when I saw the feathered birds. “Can I play with you?” I asked as if they could hear me.
Why was I letting Andy control me like my brother did? Being cooped up wasn’t fun. There was so much to discover outside, and it was a bright sunny day. I should enjoy it after the last couple of days I had.
Surely, Andy would agree.
My mind was made up.
Exiting the bedroom, I confidently strolled down the hallway toward the public places in the clubhouse. Apparently, nobody was allowed in this wing of the clubhouse, only invited guests, like me.
The place was quiet, not surprising. It was the weekend, and these people partied hard.
My ears dialed into Andy talking. I followed his pleasant, slightly raspy voice down a hall I hadn’t been down before.
“I’d never betray you, Jefe. You know that. But I want her gone.”
Hold up. Was that Yoli? Was she talking about me?
“You don’t get to make the call. If I want her to stay, she’s staying. Like it or not.”
Thank you, Andy!
“Does that mean you’re claiming her? Making her your old lady is the only way I’ll accept her. I don’t trust her. She’s nothing but trouble. I mean, her brother is searching for her.”
Oh my gosh! How did she know?
“I’m figuring it out.”
“Is she worth putting all of us in danger? I don’t think so, Jefe. Get rid of her, and let’s get back to the way things were.”
I leaned my head closer, unable to hear anything. Why did they stop talking?
She moaned just like when she kissed him in front of me. I covered my mouth, so I didn’t make a sound, not that I thought they’d hear me with all their wet smacking. Gag .
“Don’t be kissing on me,” Jefe said.
“Don’t pretend you don’t like it. Let me make you feel good.” The sound of a zipper lowering made jealousy shoot into my heart.
“Silvia? What are you doing out here?” Letty appeared at the worst time ever and caught me red handed.
Jefe exited the room, zipping his jeans up. Red lipstick was on his mouth. “Thought I told you to stay in my room.”
“I got bored.”
“Disobedience isn’t allowed in the club.” Yoli sashayed past me. “He’ll always come back to me puta. Don’t you forget it.”
“That’s enough, Yoli,” he told her in a severe tone.
“That’s fine. I’m leaving and don’t care, puta.” I turned on my heel and headed for the exit.
“Silvia,” Andy called, but I didn’t stop.
Bursting out of the building, I started trotting. When I heard him behind me, I took off in a full-blown run.
“Silvia!” he yelled.
“Leave me alone!”
“Goddammit, stop! My boots aren’t made for running!”
“Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain!” I spotted a shed near the chicken run. If I could put some distance between us, he might not see me go inside.
Shoot! I couldn’t go through the garden because of a chain-link fence.
Everything was wide open out here. Nowhere to really hide. The orchard was in the opposite direction I was going. The barn was far away, too.
My only choice was to climb the fence, if I wanted to get away from him, which I did. I was angry and needed a minute to process what happened inside.
“Don’t Vee! It’s an electric fence!” he yelled.
I slowed to a stop a few yards before the fence. Gasping and holding my stomach, I replayed his words in my head. Did he call me Vee, or had I imagined it? Only my mom and the nuns had called me Vee. To say I was gobsmacked was an understatement.
“What the fucks wrong with you?” He grabbed my jaw in his hand, gasping like me. “Don’t ever run from me again.”
“You don’t control me.” I shoved him back, but he didn’t let go of my face. “Stop. You’re hurting me!”
His other arm wrapped around my waist, and he moved in for a kiss.
“Gross! Not on your life!” I wiped his mouth with my hand and presented the red lipstick on my palm. “You disgust me.”
He instantly released me and took a few steps back.
“That’s right, big, bad biker. The evidence is on your mouth and my hand. Try to deny kissing her.”
“Why are you being like this? I didn’t cheat on you. We aren’t even a couple.”
His words hurt me, but he wasn’t wrong. All we’d been doing was having a lot of sex. He hadn’t asked me to be his girlfriend. Did bikers even do that?
“Exactly,” I said flippantly. “I don’t care what or who you do. I’m leaving today.” I turned around and stomped back the way I came.
“The nuns are dead, Chiquita.”
I jolted at his announcement. Punching me in the gut would have been nicer.
“Miguel has people in San Diablo looking for you. Since Yoli hates you, I was trying to get her under control, so she didn’t run her mouth off.”
My legs gave out under me, and I crashed on the dirt. A guttural scream ripped from my lungs and went straight to the heavens. “God, no! No. No. No!” I screamed and screamed, every cell in my body consumed with hatred for my brother. How could he kill the two people I loved most?
“I’m so sorry, baby.” Andy lowered to the ground and took me in his arms. “I got you. Let it out.”
Fisting his T-shirt, I buried my face in his chest and cried, wholly beside myself. All the people I loved were lost to me. My parents. Tonio. Now Sister Theresa and Sister Lupita. I had nobody left.
“Why them?” I asked through my sobs. “Why, Andy?”
“Because they mattered to you, baby. Miguel has never cared about anyone but himself.”
“I hate him. Despise him,” I continued to weep.
“Me too.”
I pulled back and looked up at him. “Why do you hate him?”
“Not now, Mija. You feel your feelings.” He pulled me back against him and kissed my head.
“Maybe knowing would help me. For so long, I’ve felt awful about hating my brother and wishing bad things to happen to him. Like I was making more out of him, forcing me to live at the monastery and marrying a mobster. Maybe you can validate my feelings.”
“I don’t think you’re ready to hear it, baby.”
I jerked back and hit him in the chest. “You insult me! I’m stronger than you think!”
“Let’s go inside. It’s fucking hot out here. I’m sweating to death.” He wiped his brow. His face was red and from his head down to his neck, he glistened with perspiration.
“Okay, but you’re going to tell me everything.”
“Yes, Silvia.” He helped me up, then got to his feet.
“I mean it.” I dusted myself off and dried my eyes with the backs of my hands.
“I heard you, jeez.”
“One more thing.” I stopped him, putting my hand on his chest.
“What?”
“Don’t touch Yoli again, if you know what’s good for you.” I sounded possessive, but I didn’t care. I had standards and self-respect.
“Are you threatening me, tough girl?” He hiked his eyebrow. I liked how he did that when he questioned people.
“I mean, if that’s how you took it, then yes. Yes, I’m threatening you.”
He shook his head with a crooked smirk.
“Don’t you respect me?” I asked, feeling a little insecure. My bravado was lessening. Had I misjudged his character? Thought he felt more for me?
“Yes, Silvia. I respect you.”
“Then show it. Show me the respect I deserve by waiting until I leave to fuck someone else.”
“Whoa, Chiquita. Watch your language.”
I glared at him for teasing me. “I get that bikers live by their own rules and code, and that’s fine. I’m not asking you to change your ways. All I’m saying is if you’re sleeping with me, don’t screw around with anyone else at the same time.”
He gripped the back of my neck and stared into my eyes. “I’m not fucking anyone other than you. I promise.”
I studied his handsome face, trying to make out if he was lying. “But she kissed you and you kissed her back.”
“She did, but did you see me kissing her back while you were eavesdropping on us?”
My mouth popped open, totally offended. “That’s a low blow, calling me out like that, Jefe.”
“I told you; it’s Andy when we’re alone. Answer my question.” He arched his dark sexy brow and slowly licked his bottom lip.
My body sizzled with desire. How did I turn into this needy, horny woman so fast? It was all him, for sure. He knew how to make me feel good and made me weak with his charm.
“No, I didn’t see you kissing her. Were you?”
“No. It was all her.”
“Hmm… But you were going to let her suck you off.” I crossed my arms over my chest to put a barrier between us. I doubted it would work. The pull to him was difficult to resist. “And don’t lie to me.”
He shrugged. “I don’t know what I would’ve done. We were interrupted.”
“Wow, I can’t believe you just said that.” I made a mind-blown gesture.
“Baby, you need to trust me.”
“No, Andy. I don’t. We just met.” I heard the defiance in my voice. It was a liberating feeling. “And the only people I trusted are dead.”
“Listen to me, Silvia. Listen. I wouldn’t have let her. I’ll swear it on the Holy Bible, if you want.”
“Do you go to church?” It just occurred to me I didn’t know if he believed in God.
“Not since I was a kid, but that doesn’t mean I don’t believe in the big man.” He pointed up to the sky and did the sign of the cross.
“You exhaust me,”
“Not the first time I’ve heard that.” He tickled my side. I wasn’t used to this playful side of him. With everyone else he was a grumpy ass, but with me, he showed me many sides of him.
“Now you listen to me, Andy.” I straightened my spine; my bravado was back tenfold. “Until I’m gone, the only lips allowed around your dick are mine. Got it?”
What was I saying? I hadn’t tried giving him a BJ yet.
Frankly, I was intimidated by his thing.
Having it inside me was one thing. He’d told me I was a perfect fit for him, and I believed him.
Since our first time, I hadn’t experienced discomfort.
But it was an entirely different thing seeing it in front of my face and taking it into my mouth.
I was confident it wouldn’t fit. My mouth wasn’t that big.
“Maybe I don’t want you to leave.” His hand cupped the back of my head, and he pulled me in for a kiss. I didn’t push him away this time, even though Yoli’s red lipstick had stained his lips and I hated seeing it. I needed comfort and affection after learning the nuns were dead.
I was shocked to hear him say he wanted me to stay. Wouldn’t that be putting him and his club in danger? Miguel wouldn’t stop until he had me back under his control.
But the real danger was for me and my heart. I was falling for him when I knew he would never commit to me. He was a King. The president. Not monogamous.
We continued kissing for a long spell. My lady parts were tingling badly. I wanted him inside me more than I wanted my next breath.
My intense emotions were the warning I needed. I had to leave and not allow him to convince me otherwise, before I fell in love with him.
“I want you, Silvia. Feel that?” He ground his hardon against my pelvis.
“Mhm. I do.” I rubbed him teasingly. “I’m wet, Andy. I think you should do something about it.”
A cocky grin stretched across his face. “Until you, I never fucked in my bed.”
“Where would you?” And here we’d been doing it a lot in his bed.
“Anywhere and everywhere.”
“Take me on a tour of all your favorite spots.” I wanted to experience what he enjoyed. Admittedly, I felt special being the only girl to sleep in his bed. But I was also a little jealous of Yoli and the others who’d been with him.
Clearly, I was getting attached when I shouldn’t. I wanted to be the only woman he wanted.
“To see or fuck?”
“What do you think, Prez?” I rubbed his crotch firmly.
“Hell, yes.” He hoisted me up and tossed me over his shoulder like a caveman. I didn’t mind being dominated like this. In fact, I liked it more than I should. Another sign that I needed to get out of California sooner than later.
But I would miss him terribly.
And I was confident he had ruined me for any other man.