Chapter 12
CHAPTER TWELVE
Sutton
“What kind of app?” I ask him, wanting to do a little research on it before agreeing.
“A tracking app,” he says.
“No, Gemini. That’s an invasion of my privacy,” I argue. “It’s none of your business where I am every minute of the day.”
“An invasion that could potentially save your life,” he stresses, his face drawn, and from past experience, I know he’s gearing up for an argument.
“Sutton, this isn’t about watching your every move, I have no interest in stalking you or controlling you, but if for some damn reason you come up missing, I need to be able to locate you. ”
“You really think he could escalate that far?” I ask, not convinced.
“Sutton, you’re a smart woman,” he relays, glancing at me as if he’s disappointed that I’m not in tune with how severe this could become.
I am aware, I’m just not ready to admit it to myself or to him.
I need to stay in this bubble I created for myself a little bit longer.
“It’s a scientific statistic that most serial killers start out torturing and killing animals before they give in to their desires and go after human beings.
Men like him start out small. They are more a nuisance than a true threat, but Sutton, I have a gut feeling that he’s done more than stalking.
He’s too fucking good at it to be a beginner. ”
“Your gut is telling you he’s advanced past the stalking stage?” I ask for clarification.
“It is. I’m going to check into it and do some research. When I do, I’m wholly convinced I’ll find that there are some missing women that can be tied to him. Association wise,” he confirms.
“Why do I attract all the crazies?” I ask myself. Is this going to be the rolling theme of my life? If so, I’ll need all the Hail Mary’s life has to offer.
“Because you’re unobtainable,” he answers.
“How do you figure that?” I probe.
“Don’t get defensive when I say this, but you have a fuck off look that stays on your face.
Your past has made you wary of getting close to people.
I understand why, I was there and witnessed everything those nitwits did to you back in the day.
Unfortunately, for men like him, you’ve unintentionally challenged him, Sutton.
He won’t back down or go away until he’s won. ”
“I’m not a damn prize at the county fair, Gemini,” I harrumph.
“You don’t see it, huh? I do. My cousins do.
Anyone who takes a second to get to know you does.
You’re the best prize offered at the booth, Sutton,” he contends.
“You’re intelligent, beautiful, and passionate.
You have this magnetism about you that draws people in and makes them want to be around you.
You’re the entire package wrapped up in a pretty bow. ”
I feel a blush crawl up my neck at that staggering compliment. As far as praises go, that was one of the best ones I’ve ever received. “Stop,” I whisper, embarrassment swamping me. “What’s gotten into you, Gemini?”
“I’m not going to pussyfoot around you anymore, Sutton. I couldn’t go after you when we were in school because both of us were dealing with shit and we weren’t ready, but things have changed. We’re adults now and nothing is holding me back from going after what’s mine.”
I rear back and point my finger at my chest and ask, “Me? You think I’m yours?”
“I don’t think that, I know it,” he declares.
“You’re so sure of yourself, aren’t you?” I ask, my tone chock full of beratement.
“No,” he denies, shaking his head. “I’m sure of us, Sutton.”
I’m floored and not sure what to say in response to that. “I’m glad one of us is,” I snarkily mumble. “What makes you so sure?”
“Because every time I’m around you, I feel alive.
When I touch you, it’s like I’ve placed my finger on a live wire.
You shock me in more ways than one, baby girl.
I wake up and go to sleep with you on my mind.
Since we crossed paths again, I find myself wondering if you’re having a good day, and if you’re not, I think about how I can make it better.
Want to know what answer I come up with when I consider what I could do to brighten your day? ”
“What?” I ask, my voice wobbly. Do I want to know? I don’t have time to ponder that further because he goes ahead and tells me.
“Me, Sutton. I can make your day better and brighter,” he states before demanding, “Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me you don’t feel this attraction between us.”
“Is that a question or an order?” I tease. “It sounded more like the latter than the former.”
“Take it however you want as long as you give me what I want,” he comments.
He’s nonchalant about it as if this is a normal, every day conversation.
For me, it’s not and I’m not sure how to navigate it.
Do I open myself up and give him a part of me that I’ve got an insurmountable, unyielding wall around?
I’m not sure there’s an easy way for me to do that, I’ve had to protect myself from almost everybody in my life.
It’s the only way I survived my childhood trauma.
Can I put that type of trust in him? I give myself a moment to think about that barricade inside of me, the one that keeps my heart from breaking when people violate my confidence.
I’m the only person who can take that structure down, but I’ve cemented it to the point it’s nearly indestructible.
“You want me to confess things to you that I’m not ready to admit to myself, Gemini?”
“Give yourself a chance, Sutton. It’s not me that you need to trust, it’s you,” he suggests.
I toss my hands up in the air in irritation. I don’t have enough experience under my belt to deal with someone as demanding and alpha as Gemini. “I don’t know if I’m ready.”
“Then lean on me and let me give you the strength to get there, Sutton. Let me prove to you that we belong together.”
“You’re a biker,” I point out.
“I am, but that’s who I’ve always been,” he reminds me. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“Our lifestyles are so different, Gemini. What if we butt heads? I’m pretty headstrong and argumentative, as you’ve pointed out a time or two.”
“You keep me on my toes, no doubt about it, but I happen to like that. Our differences aren’t a deterrent, Sutton. If you’re going to fight this, give me something tangible.”
I huff and narrow my eyes at him. “Don’t be rude, Gemini. It’s a real problem.”
“You call it a problem, I call it a fun time,” he chuckles. “What is it about my lifestyle that freaks you out, Sutton?”
“I’ve read my fair share of motorcycle club romance books, Gemini. I know y’all like your women to be a lot freer than I am,” I mention. “I’m not footloose and fancy free. As a matter of fact, I’m pretty conservative compared to what club girls are described as being.”
“You’re going to judge me based on fiction?” he asks, his voice dropping to a dangerous level which has me backtracking a smidgeon.
“Yes and no,” I honestly answer. “I can’t do a clubhouse full of half dressed women flaunting what they have. I’m gonna tell you a secret, Gemini… I’m a jealous bitch and I’ll end up in a brawl if we do this and one of those bitches look at you the wrong way.”
I’m not sure how to take it when he starts laughing so hard he’s doubled over, slapping his delectably muscular thighs.
Several times he starts to say something, only to break down again in hysterical laughter.
Finally, after many long minutes of listening to him cackle himself nearly sick, he manages to get his shit together.
“Sutton, you do remember that I was part of my family’s club, right?
” At my nod, he continues. “Do you honestly think my Aunt Becky would allow scantily clad women to cross the threshold of the clubhouse? Not all motorcycle clubs have women prancing around trying to catch a patch holder, and when our fathers started the club, they decided that’s not what they wanted.
We don’t want club girls in a traditional sense, because that’s not how we were raised.
Now, that being said, if we do get club girls, it won’t be for them to put themselves out for any of the single guys. ”
“You’re in that group too,” I wisely point out.
“Since seeing you again, I don’t feel as though I am,” he admits, shrugging. “If things had been different back in the day, Sutton, you’d have already been with me, plain and simple.”
Well, he’s got me there if I’m gonna be honest with myself.
That brief encounter with his family at graduation showed me how a family should be and I wished I was a permanent part of it all; the laughter, the caring, the sticking together to right a wrong.
Instead, I was on the outside looking in, just like that stupid game I sometimes play where the woman is in the cold seeing her partner through the glass all warm and cozy.
“We can’t go back and change things, Gemini. Things happen for a reason and I need to figure out if that reason leads to you or if I am meant to be an old, cat lady.”
“All signs led to you coming to Montana to be with me, Sutton. Fate can be a fickle bitch, but in our case, she was spot on. We wound up in the same town and in the same state for a reason. Not so you can question it, but so you and I could both start living.”
“You think we’re fated?” I ask, stupefied.
“I do, and deep down, so do you,” he clarifies.
“You think you know me so well, don’t you?” I sass. “Tell me then, what’s one of my absolute dealbreakers when it comes to a relationship?”
“Cheating,” he rebuts. “And before you say I can’t know I never would, remember I was raised with a bunch of men who would’ve beaten the skin off my ass if I so much as thought of doing it to anyone I ever did date.
Anything else? I mean, we’ve got a lifetime to learn each other’s quirks, Sutton, but you’ll never ever have to worry about me stepping out on you.
Why chase ground chuck when I have a porterhouse waiting at home? ”
“Now I’m being compared to food?” I muse. “Really?”
He snickers then leans in so our lips are nearly touching and whispers, “Because I’m hungry for you.”
As his lips crash down on mine, anything I ever learned about kissing flies out the window.
He’s giving and taking in equal measures, as his strong arms band around me and pull me closer to him.
I can feel his heart beating erratically in his chest as I succumb to the emotions coursing through me at his simple touch.
Our tongues continue to duel and I want more, so much more, but he slowly pulls back until our foreheads are touching and says, “Soon, Sutton. When I think you’re ready to go further, that’s when it’ll happen and not a moment sooner. ”
Spoilsport. I was closing in on ending my dry spell, which if I’m being truthful, isn’t a terrible thing because I suspect he’s far better at pleasuring a woman than my ex ever thought of being, and he put the damn brakes on it!