Chapter 13
Leila
DREAM OF THE PAST
North’s hand cups my shoulder, forcing me onto my knees before him. I swore I would never allow any man—No! That no one would ever bend me to their will ever again, and yet, I do not fight him. I submit to him, giving him my last piece of vulnerability.
His dark brown eyes have a hint of amusement behind them, but quickly return to their normal frigid state.
Neither of us want to be here, doing what we are doing, especially with an audience.
It’s what we have practiced for, though.
This moment is one we both knew would come and yet, being here actually living it, doesn’t make it any easier.
The knowledge and pure hate don’t stop my wrists from crossing over one another as the fingertips of my lover ties a thick rope around them.
He is not gentle. The rage his heart holds for them is unmistakable by the fibers digging into my wrists.
The feeling is mutual. Despite being deprived of the decency to be treated like a human I refuse to let them hear the pained whimpers burst out of my lips.
I clamp them between my teeth in protest. I will not give them the satisfaction that they crave—I won’t let them break me.
I refuse to let them see my vulnerability.
They already think we shouldn’t be together.
I won’t give them another reason to add to their list.
Every set of eyes in this long judgement room are on me and they all have the same emotion behind them. Hunger. Like a pack of blood thirsty wolves, they each circle, waiting for their turn to rip me to shreds and get their pound of flesh.
“Finally! A filthy Fox came out of hiding and fell into your trap. Attah boy!” A loud voice booms as he praises North, clapping him on the back with an open palm.
I had heard it countless time from North:
Angles and Outcasts do not mix.
But I never understood the seriousness behind his words until today. Everything has a place in the world and there are certain things that were never intended to mix, much less fall in love—Apparently, we fell into that category.
“You’re pathetic and scared!” I seethe through the silent room, when silence falls over the room and the curiously watch me like I’m a science project that went horribly wrong.
“You all are! Every last one of you are. You are one in the same! You claim you’re keeping balance and we are the ones in the wrong, but how can loving someone be so wrong?
Huh? Tell me that. You won’t, because you can’t.
You want to hide behind your rules and preach about order and protection, and yet here you are ready to crucify two of your own.
Who is going to protect them? Huh?” I pull against the ropes and the ropes burn against my skin with agony pain.
South takes the long blade into his shaky hands, pointing it directly at North.
North won’t fight him, this much I know.
North considers South as his brother, his family.
North drops to his knees, his eyes never straying from mine when South takes a step in his direction.
“I’ll find you in the stars, Deylani. I don’t give a shit what they say they symbolize.
I will burn every last one of their forsaken stars from the sky and create new ones for you. I love you.”
Tears fall from my eyes, and I jerk against the ropes again.
“I love you, North. Do you hear that you pathetic wastes of space? Do our words sound dangerous? Because they’re not!
You all are just scared of what might happen.
The what ifs. But did you ever thing the what ifs may turn out to be beautiful?
Did you ever take the time to consider that maybe you are wrong?
Because I have, and guess what. You are!
” By the end of my statement, I am screaming at the whole room.
“Shut her up!” Another one of the men orders, glaring at me as he pauses beside South, before approaching me.
Whack! The man backhands my face and blood spurts out of my mouth.
I lick my lips and revel in the metallic taste.
Good. I’m getting to them. “You roam the earth like you have something to prove.” I laugh maniacally as my head lowers, and I stare straight into his eyes.
“You want the world to see what you’re doing as a gift and say you don’t ask for anything in return, but what are you doing right now?
You are demanding repentance where none should be given.
You want respect that you have never earned.
Respect that you will never get from me.
You all are scared little boys, who have no idea who you’re messing with! ”
They all think I am addressing them, but he and I know the truth.
The words might apply to mostly everyone in this room, but they were not meant for him.
I wish we didn’t have to be here. I would have run to the end of the world with him, but that wouldn’t have been far enough.
He told me in the beginning family always chooses family, and I believed him.
I thought everything would be ok—I thought we would be okay.
But as South lifts the blade a second time and swings, through the air, I don’t know that everything will be okay.
I helpless. I can’t save him. I scream until my body runs out of air and my body shakes from the force. No. No. No. I can’t lose him! I never thought South would be the one to do it.
“I love you, brother,” North says, and South drops the blade.
“I love you, too.” South turns, facing the others before he speaks again. “Condemn me with them because I refuse to be your weapon. If you want him dead, you’ll have to go through me to do it.”
“And you’ll have to go through us, too.” I bring life to the secret I have kept to myself.
I was waiting for the right time to tell North, but that time might not have a chance to get here I’m afraid.
North’s eyes connect with mine immediately and he mouths, “Us?” silently.
I nod, frantically and North smiles like a fool
“Then so be it, you all will never return. From this point on you are the outcasts—the fallen. Do not ask for help, you’re on your own.
The gifts that have been so graciously bestowed upon you will slowly fade as you join her.
If you love her so much that you are willing to sacrifice your life’s work, then become human.
You will bleed like her, and die like her.
! You’ll never know happiness. You will search the world for one another, only to realize what we’re telling you today, it can’t be.
One of you will always die, beginning with her.
” The man beside me warns, bending down, and snatches the sword from the floor.
Before I realize what is happening, he has the blade against my throat, and slices clean through both of my jugulars.
Everything is black and all I feel is nothingness. I don’t know how long I search in the darkness, but eventually, I find light, and I am born again
Without purpose.
Without knowledge of this being my second life.
Without him.